How to tell a friend that I love him? Your offer sounds very tempting, but unfortunately I have too much to do right now.

I can't refuse. That is, of course, I try to say no politely, but I very rarely succeed. Usually, all my attempts to politely refuse and at the same time not hurt the person end either with an insult or with the phrase “well, I’ll see what can be done.” The most extreme case - it . I don't know if a lie is small, good or half true. This is an even more difficult question.

constantly deceive - not a very good way out, which in the end will still lead to a conflict, since you will finally get confused and lie.

How to refuse your boss, who once again asks you to stay after work? How to say a firm “no” to your relatives so that they are not offended? How do you let your friends know that you can't help them right now?

In fact, there are a lot of options, we just don't know about them.

Your offer sounds very tempting, but unfortunately I have too much to do right now.

With the phrase “this sounds very tempting”, you make it clear to the person that his offer is of interest to you. And the second part says that you would love to participate (or help), but at the moment you have too many urgent tasks.

A beautiful refusal, but from my own experience I can say that for close friends or relatives, it will do it once or twice, and even then not in a row. If you refuse them in this way for the third time, the fourth time no one will offer you anything. This is especially true for picnics and other recreational activities.

Remember, once or twice - and then either change your social circle (for some reason you constantly refuse them?), or finally go somewhere. Suddenly you like it?

But for people you don't see that often, this answer is perfect.

I'm sorry, but the last time I did this or that, I had a negative experience

Mental or emotional trauma - another interesting option. Only a sadist will continue to insist that a person do what he did not like. Or a complete optimist with the slogan “What if the second time will be better?!”.

Although with some grandmothers trying to feed their emaciated offspring, the answers “I don’t eat meat,” “I’m lactose intolerant,” or “I don’t like boiled vegetables” do not work.

But if you say that the last time after you drank milk, you could not be in society all day because of stomach problems, you might be saved. Grandma, of course, will look at you a little askance and with a slight reproach, but she will not pour it into a cup with the words: “Well, this is homemade, from Aunt Klava, nothing will come of him!”.

I'd love to, but...

One more good way refuse. You would love to help, but unfortunately you can't at the moment. Just don't go into lengthy explanations of why.

First, starting to explain something in detail, you gradually begin to feel. And secondly, in this way you give the person the opportunity to cling to something in your story and persuade you.

Just a short and clear answer. No essays on the topic "I would love to, but you understand, I need to do ...".

To be honest, I'm not very good at this. Why don't you ask N, he's a pro at this

This is by no means a translation of the arrows.

If you've been asked to do something or help with advice, and you don't feel competent enough, why not suggest someone who really understands it? So you will not only not offend a person, but also show that you care and you are trying to help in any way you can.

I can't do it, but I'll be happy to help with…

On the one hand, you refuse to do what they are trying to impose on you, on the other - still help and at the same time choose what you want to do.

You look great, but I don't quite get it

What to do if a friend bought a dress that, to put it mildly, does not really suit her. Here the dilemma "who is more friend" arises. - the one to tell the truth, or the one to say she looks great in all the outfits?! This applies not only to appearance, but also to the choice of an apartment, work and life partner, after all.

But who are we to talk freely about fashion? If we were, for example, famous designers, then they could criticize and immediately offer several other options to choose from.

And if not? Then either say everything as it is, if you are sure of the adequacy of a girlfriend or friend, or transfer the arrows to some celebrity from the world.

It sounds great! But now, unfortunately, I have a very tight schedule. Let me call you...

This answer is great when the option is interesting, but right now you're really not in a position to help. So you not only do not offend the person, but also leave for yourself the opportunity to join the offer that interests you a little later.

Even at lectures on psychology at the university, we were taught that it is necessary to refuse, starting a sentence with the word “yes”, and then adding the notorious “but”.

It works, though not always. It all depends on the situation and the person. You won’t be able to play around for a long time and sooner or later you will have to explain why it’s still “no”.

But if you are diplomatic and firm enough, then over time people will know that if you refuse, it’s not because you’re just too lazy or you don’t want to have anything to do with them, but because you are a very busy person and you will definitely you can, but a little later. In the end, people must learn to respect you and your opinion. As well as you - someone else's.

The question of whether there can be friendship between a man and a woman has existed for a long time. Often friendly behavior is perceived as something more. But what if, in fact, you only have friendly feelings for the guy, but on the contrary, he feels something more for you and perceives your attention and friendship as a response to his feelings. Therefore, you need to let him know that between you there can only be friendship, but at the same time, without offending him.
  • If you have definitely decided that there will be no other than friendly relations between you, then you should not provoke him to take active steps to win your heart. No need to flirt with him and have any ambiguous conversations that he can interpret in a completely different way.
  • Ask your friend what he likes in girls. And then describe to him your ideal man. And do it in such a way that he does not even have the thought that you are talking about him. If you already have a young man, then if necessary, let your friend understand the era.
  • Just try to tell this guy that he a true friend and through him you have learned that there can be friendship between a man and a woman. But at the same time, behave with him as a friend. No need to gently squeeze his hand, smile sweetly and so on.
  • If the young man nevertheless decided to open his feelings and confessed his love to you, tell him that he is a wonderful friend and person, that there will be a girl who will love him and appreciate him. Explain to him that you treat him only as a friend and you would not want to complicate and spoil the relationship between you.
  • If necessary, introduce your friend to your boyfriend. Your friend needs to see and make sure that you are not planning on breaking up with your man. Otherwise, he will hope for something for a long time and thereby hurt himself and suffer.
  • You can try to divert your friend's attention away from you. To do this, introduce him to a good beautiful girl whichever you think will suit him. Even if things don't work out for them, he will understand that you really only treat him as a friend. He will make sure that you want him to be happy, but at the same time you do not see your man in him.
  • If all else fails, and your friend continues to persistently try to woo you, then tell him honestly and firmly that if he does not stop this, you will have to stop all your communication. Say that you will stop talking and seeing each other at all.


Related articles: Family

It may not be difficult for someone to confess their love, but for most people this business is a big obstacle in relationships, which is why some couples break up without having time to start a family. So how do you confess to the best friend in love and say that you love him very much?

LOVE DECLARATION AT A DISTANCE

No matter how difficult and costly it is, you need to confess your love only when you meet in person, looking into the eyes of your beloved man. But, if for some objective reason it is not possible to confess your love to your best friend in person, then do it remotely. We recommend that you read

TALK


It doesn't matter if you're talking on the phone or Skype or whatever, it's important that you speak to your best friend in voice and have a direct conversation. This will probably be the most the best way confess your love to your friend remotely. To confess to a friend in love using a telephone conversation, you need to follow a few rules. Do not try to confess your love immediately at the beginning of the conversation, it is advisable to call, chat on various topics, discuss whatever is interesting to both you and him, and at the very end, when you are ready to hang up, tell him that you love him. Any person really likes to be called by name, and therefore, at the end of the conversation, call your best friend by name and say: "Andryusha, I love you." Perhaps you will hear from your best friend, and I love you, or perhaps he will say that you are just friends and he should think about your words. Don't despair, keep trying.

WRITTEN


Confessing love to your best friend in writing will not best idea. But in some cases, a person may simply not have the courage to say about love in the eye, and therefore the girl chooses a declaration of love through a letter or message. The best moment in writing to tell your best friend about love will be Valentine's Day (February 14), when all lovers confess their love to each other. If you wait, there is no point in waiting for this, and you want to speed up your declaration of love, then you can do this at any time. To do this, you can write a beautiful and confusing letter in which the guy will be able to notice your words about love for him, but after all, most likely you are not a poet, and therefore do not write poetry or a very beautiful letter yourself. You should not take template poems or love letters on the Internet, this is not always appreciated. It is best to write a few words about love, but so that they are from yourself and your whole soul. For example, write like this: “Andryusha, you are very dear to me, when you are around, I forget about all my problems. I feel good with you and I want to say that I love you. ”, write something like this, but only in your own words and from your pure and warm heart. You can write either by e-mail, SMS message, or in any other way, since there are many opportunities now. We recommend that you read

LOVE DECLARATION PERSONALLY

Telling your best friend that you love them best is in person, when you are alone. The main thing here is your confidence and lack of fear to say I love you. Do not be afraid of his refusal, speak boldly and confidently. Of course, you should not immediately shout about love at your meeting, do it, as in a telephone conversation at the end of your date or meeting. To tell your best friend that you love him, set up the following situation: Invite him for a walk, take a walk, chat, you can even go to the cinema or sit in a cafe, and at the end of your meeting, at the moment when you are ready to leave, turn to man's face, take his hands in yours, gently kiss him on the cheek and say in your ear that you love him, after which you can hug him around the waist and snuggle up to him slightly. Do not be afraid of his refusal, do not be afraid that he will push you away, no, he will not push you away, because you are friends, most likely he will reciprocate. There are a lot of options on how to tell your best friend that you love him, you just need to connect your imagination and not be afraid to tell him about it.

Instead of telling your best friend that you love him, you can show it with actions, for this, take care of him and try to get close to him at every meeting not only spiritually, but also platonically. For example, at the end of your meeting, you can kiss him, kiss not only on the cheek, but also on the lips, most likely he will not mind, because friendship between a girl and a guy is not just friendship, it is a deeper relationship that is ready at any moment turn into love. We recommend that you read

Choose a time when you will tell all your friends. Tell everything only if you are sure that you will move. Sometimes the family just talks about moving and maybe someone in the family has been offered a good job, but everything is decided at the last minute and, in the end, you may not go anywhere. You can confuse people by saying you're moving, but never moving. Therefore, to begin with, you need to be completely confident in the move. Also don't keep it a secret. It's not fair to your friends, and it won't be good if you just "disappear". Keeping everything under wraps won't make things any easier. In fact, without the support of friends, it will be much more difficult for you.

  • Decide who you will tell about it. Naturally, your best and closest friends should know about it. But you can also tell casual acquaintances if you communicate well with them. It's also a good idea to determine whether you want to tell your friends about it in person or tell everyone at once.

    • Sometimes it may be easier to tell one friend who will pass on the news to other friends. It depends on the context of the friendship.

  • Choose a good meeting place and discuss the move. If you know your friend will cry and react badly, it's best to do it in person. It is unfair to expose your friend to the gaze of onlookers. You can go to a secluded place, like climbing a tree or a garden, somewhere where no one knows you. If they are especially close friends, you can drink and dine together (in a cafe, bar or restaurant). So you can spend more time together, relax and discuss future prospects.

    • You should have tissues just in case.
    • If you are talking about everything to a group of friends, gather them around the dinner table or sit down together outside.

  • Be honest and tell it like it is. As soon as you know that you are moving, talk about it and say exactly where and when you are moving. Most of your friends will want to know why you're moving, so tell them if you can. If you can't tell the reason, talk to your family and ask them what you can say to other people. You might want to say the following:

    • Say that you will miss all your friends. If you don't want to leave, put it into words.
    • Say that you will be waiting for your friends to visit.
    • Say that you already know what you want to do in the new place and can't wait for it. Say that they can stay with you.

  • Be prepared for a range of reactions. It's likely that your friends will get upset, some friends may react by hiding their sadness or shock, such as pretending it's "not important" or reacting like you don't appreciate them at all. If any of your friends react negatively, you should understand that, most likely, they are simply shocked and hurt by the fact that you are leaving. Try to treat them with understanding and give them some time. You can return to this discussion later.

    • Don't be afraid to ask your friends how they feel about your move. Let them speak openly, and you must listen to them.

  • Explore the possibilities of communicating with your friends from a distance. If you haven't taken contacts yet, now is the time to exchange them!

    • Join social networks like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and more.
    • Exchange mobile phones in order to correspond via SMS; SMS are inexpensive, and you can easily exchange news.
    • Download Skype or register on Google so that you can see each other's faces from time to time. Unsubscribe to your friends in the first week of your stay in a new place!
    • Exchange mailing addresses. You may want to send something.

    • We've known each other for two years. We have warm friendly relations. Recently I realized that I love. Now I'm at a loss: is it possible, "for no apparent reason", to say this to a person who has been "just a friend" to me all this time? It is difficult to defeat the stereotype "the initiative comes from the man", and besides, I am afraid that friendship will suffer from this. Silence, perhaps, will lead to regrets ... A friend says: "Everything is written on your face! If he wanted to change something in your relationship, he would start a conversation himself. Apparently, you suit him only as a friend." I don't want to be naive, but what if he, like me, is just afraid of destroying the friendship? (Nadezhda, Chita, 25 years old)

    Hope, Chita, 25 years old / 20.12.05

    Opinions of our experts

    • ALYONA:

      And your girlfriend, for an hour, has no views of your friend? Painfully harmful thoughts she inspires you. Maybe she can see what is written on your forehead, but you just don’t need to equate female observation with the amazing male ability not to notice even the most obvious things. There should not be a dilemma "To say or not to say?" Here it is necessary to solve the question "How to say?". I understand your fear of losing a friend by scaring him away with your confession. So, you need to show imagination, and tell him about it so that this does not happen. Actually, our rubric is not for giving practical advice. And for the exchange of views. However, I will offer one idea. Suddenly it will come in handy. ahead New Year. With whom will you and he meet him? If he is relatively free, ask him to keep you company. For example, with the words that it is customary to celebrate the New Year with people who are dear to you. Ideally, this should be a loved one. But, alas, it so happened that you do not have a person who loves you (underline this). But on the other hand, you have a real friend whom you love (here this word "love" will not be too straightforward). And since there is such a sign - as you meet the New Year, so you will spend it, then you would be glad to spend it with him. But if he has more tempting offers in mind, then, of course, you will understand him ... If he refuses, consider that he really has nothing for you, or is not yet ripe. But at the same time, you will not stun him with your confession, because. an invitation to celebrate the New Year in the company of a friend whom you value and love (because in this case the word "love" can mean "love like a friend") - this is not yet a declaration of love. Well, if you can’t celebrate the New Year together for objective reasons, find another way to check his true attitude towards you. For example, in a semi-joking way, ask him to help you find a guy, but one that looks like him. "I'm a lonely girl, and I'm tired of loneliness. But with a friend like you, I became very picky about men. So, one hope is that maybe you have a friend, or a cousin who would be looks like you?" Of course, such things need to be said to the place, and not suddenly. This is all, of course, at the level of improvisation ... But we are women, and women are cunning in our blood. So, just use your natural gift. Don't listen to your friend. She's just jealous of you.

    • SERGEI:

      Girlfriend is talking nonsense. Very few guys can make the first move or start a relationship conversation on their own. After all, this implies that you can get a refusal, that is, a severe blow to conceit, which, as you yourself understand, is not the most desirable event for a guy. And if so, then many are silent until victorious and decide to tell the truth after many years, when everything has already burned out, families, children. But who knows if it was not a mistake? In general, of course, I am for all men, as in fairy tales or melodramas, to be smart, courageous, decisive, wise, etc., but this does not happen in life. If you understand that your feelings have become more than friendly, then say so about it. In any case, than to suffer from ignorance and suffer from innuendo, it is better to find out everything once and for all. Stop talking to him for a while. And when he, intrigued, decides to figure out what is happening, tell him everything. But not in the forehead, but streamlined. It is not necessary to declare right from the threshold: "I love you, let's get married." Better say that he has become dearer to you than just a friend, and you would not want the situation to go even further. That you stopped communicating in order to understand yourself, to think, and also, so as not to complicate the life of a dear person who, unfortunately, does not experience reciprocal feelings. In general, shift the responsibility for subsequent communication to him. There is no doubt that he will be flattered by your feelings. But what conclusions he draws - you'll see. If he himself felt something similar - now without fear of being rejected, he will open. If he gets scared and stops communicating, then so be it. But in this case, it is better if you find out about it as early as possible. After all, you can’t be “just a friend” anyway. So why pull? Good luck.