Fell in love: should I be the first to confess? Declaration of love to a man Is it possible to be the first to confess love

Natalya Kaptsova


Reading time: 6 minutes

A A

Not in Russian traditions, the first declaration of love, sounding from a girl. It is the man who is supposed to take that first step. And female courage in this case is declared immodest and condemned by the majority. Moreover, this majority can sometimes include the object of love itself.

So is it worth it or not to take this step first? And how to do it right?

Understanding...

Is it worth it to confess love first - all the pros and cons

Arguments in favor of "ceding the right of first recognition to a man":

  • The effect of recognition may not be what the girl expects. Recognition obliges, and a man may simply not be ready to move the relationship to another level. As a result, instead of a reciprocal confession, the girl runs the risk of hearing "I'll call you" and seeing his sparkling heels.
  • Most often, a man reserves the right to take the first step (in everything) for himself. And the recognition of the girl can hurt his pride.
  • It is not uncommon for a girl to mistake the friendly frankness and tenderness of a man for love. A declaration of love in this case will only bring disappointment and resentment.
  • If a man does not value the girl too much, then confession will only increase his feeling that “women themselves fall like pears at his feet” .

Arguments "FOR":

  • If he , because he is not sure of her feelings, then recognition will become a springboard for a more serious relationship.
  • Recognition can become that very point above the “I”, after which you no longer have to guess on a camomile and suffer. Either pan or gone. In any case, certainty is always better than waiting for the unknown.

There are not so many arguments “For”, but love is not an ordinary phenomenon. If the soul requires love, and the words themselves are ready to break out of the tongue, then you do not need to keep them in yourself. The worst thing that can happen is without really starting.

But this is not a reason for depression, because if your prince flies away from you on his white horse, barely hearing the first “I love you”, then this is simply not your prince. And human life is too short to regret something.

How to beautifully confess your love to a man or a guy - 10 best ways

Of course, you can not invent anything and just open your feelings, looking the object of love directly into his unearthly eyes. Or whisper in your ear. Beautiful, simple, romantic.

But I want to confess so that he remembers for the rest of his life ...

Your attention - 10 original ways to confess your love to Him.

Beauty and HealthLove and Relationships

In society, despite the changes in gender equality that have taken place, the fair sex still expects confessions from men and is afraid to take the first step, believing that this will somehow humiliate them. And although sometimes you have to wait a very long and painful time, and sometimes you don’t have to wait, wasting time, you still don’t want to take risks and look ridiculous in the eyes of others. Indeed, for many, hearing the word “no” in response to such frankness is more terrible than waiting, when will he notice and understand that he is loved. But when this expectation drags on, and does not get rid of this feeling in any way, it is worth considering whether it is time to resolve this issue once and for all.

Is it possible to confess to a man in love

According to the majority, which is guided by the usual stereotypes, girls are not the first to talk about their feelings, this should be done by a man. And if there are brave women who believe that this is all stupidity, and her peace of mind is more important, some may condemn her for her courage and such self-confidence. What they are guided by in their condemnation is unknown, how this affects them is also unclear, but when the fair sex decides to take such a bold step, she is unlikely to be supported by her friends or those around her whom she trusts.

People do not like it when someone stands out from the crowd and tries to break established customs, even if they are not so important to their peace of mind. It is unpleasant for them that someone decided to do something that they once could not do. Therefore, they will dissuade, scare with some possible problems, ridicule, contempt in the eyes of others. Although all this is nonsense, because people are mainly busy with themselves, and they definitely don’t care about someone’s confessions or behavior when their mouths are full of worries.

If you think about it, how can a woman’s desire to tell a man about her feelings, not necessarily confess her love, but say that she likes him, can harm society, friends, relatives. On the contrary, it can become the impetus that will allow two people to be together, become happy, or help the girl no longer waste time on fruitless expectations. Well, it will become embarrassing for a man that he cannot reciprocate her, well, he will not inflict a mortal insult on her if she has a healthy psyche, and he himself will not suffer if he refuses to go somewhere with her, citing employment.

But still, public bewilderment about the desire of women today to be the first to approach men stops many from finally stopping tormenting themselves with thoughts about how he treats me, whether I like me and whether he wants to get to know each other better.

It is important to understand that only the woman herself can decide what to do when the representative of the stronger sex she likes does not take the first step towards rapprochement, and she is tired of waiting. It is up to her to decide whether to spend time on vain expectations, worries, despair and beyond, or decide and say that she likes him. And let him refuse, but certainty will come.

The fair sex, very vulnerable, for whom the opinion of others is too important, they are afraid of pain and humiliation, so they do not dare to talk about their feelings, worrying that this will be taken with hostility, they will find themselves in an awkward position and suffer from ridicule.

Photo: is it worth confessing love

Their low self-esteem does not allow them to do something that is not accepted by the majority, something that still causes surprise and bewilderment among those who themselves do not have high self-esteem and are afraid that something will happen or no matter what someone says about them. bad, and thereby try to forbid doing something or that, in their opinion, to others. Here is their condemnation, bewilderment, criticism and plays the role of a warning that there is no need to stand out from the slender ranks of those who are waiting for a man to take the first step, not to try to solve the problem, even if it worries and makes you worry.

And all because they are sure that it is someone else's opinion that determines whether they are good people, whether they are worthy or not. Without even trying to be critical of such an attitude towards ourselves. Why does anyone have to define who they are. Who gave them such a right, and whether they themselves are so perfect as to judge others. In the end, they are the same people as the rest, and even if they succeeded in something, this still does not give them the right to give an assessment to anyone, everyone first of all has the right to evaluate only themselves and, for their own good, compare themselves with yourself.

But sometimes these subconscious fears to stand out, to do something unusual, make you keep silent about love, and not even try to tell another that he is cute, let alone talk about feelings. And here everyone must decide for himself what is best for him, maintain his peace of mind and not leave the comfort zone, continuing to wait for the first steps from a man, or take a risk and then determine for himself what to do and how to live on.

Is it worth it to confess to a man in love

It all depends on how confident you are in yourself, how much this uncertain situation tortured you, how sure you are that he shows you not just friendly participation or courtesy, but interest, that this man does not use your words against you, this of course is possible. survive, but why? Some representatives of the stronger sex are able to perceive the first step on the part of a woman as an attempt to hurt their pride, a sign that they themselves are not able to sort out their feelings and decide what to do.

The fear of being rejected also does not allow even self-confident women to sometimes confess their love to the opposite sex. He has so firmly taken possession of them that they choose him, and not a chance to sort out the situation and understand whether it makes sense to hope for something or not. And you need to deal with the fear of rejection.

After all, recognition does not guarantee that they will reciprocate. After a confession of feelings, you can also hear a refusal, rarely mocking, it all depends on what kind of man is in front of you, if an egoist, a narcissist, with low self-esteem, he is unlikely to spare the feelings of a woman, on the contrary, he will begin to boast that everyone likes him and use it for your purposes.

We decided to confess, remember, this option is suitable for women with an active lifestyle who are not used to waiting, suffering and wasting time. They do not believe that recognition will somehow diminish their dignity. Because she will not offend anyone, will not offend, will not hurt anyone, but will only put her in an awkward position. But it definitely won’t cause any serious damage to the psyche, so there’s nothing to worry about.

You are worried that a man will feel out of place, he will become embarrassed if he does not reciprocate, and will face a choice of how he should behave now, but you want to admit it. In order not to cause him unnecessary inconvenience, it is better to tell him about your sympathy for him or invite him to a cafe, although it is important to do this in such a way that he understands that this is a date, and not just a meeting.

When you don’t work together with a man, you don’t study, you don’t meet very often, it’s easier to confess your love to him, because even if he doesn’t reciprocate, you won’t have to see him again and feel embarrassed.

We decided to do this because we realized that we couldn’t forget him, there was no more strength to wait, be sure to try to do it in a suitable environment, where no one would interrupt you, he would not be busy, preoccupied with something, and would not think what are you kidding. Speak calmly with a slight smile. Don't pressure or blame him. Not enough courage, try to write him an offer to meet and already there decide whether to tell him or not. This does not oblige you to anything, but will refuse, which means, all the more, you do not need to waste time on it. After all, the one who is interested in you will not refuse the opportunity to be alone with you, even if he himself has not yet decided to invite you to a meeting.

If you don’t want to confess and are tired of waiting, but he himself doesn’t fit and doesn’t invite you anywhere, try to forget him and get on with your life, it’s fine; no, do not close yourself from communication with other members of the stronger sex.

Photo: is it worth confessing love

Not everyone is ready to fight for their love, preferring to wait for the first man to confess his love. But is it worth it when time runs, but nothing happens. He can still take a chance and find out the truth than waste time, worry and hope. But here it’s better for everyone to decide for themselves what is more suitable: patient waiting, so as not to end up in an unpleasant situation if they suddenly offend, or find out everything at once, so as not to suffer and wait no longer, but to find out if there is hope for reciprocity or not and continue to live on.

Tags: is it worth confessing love, confessing love to the first man

Want to tell your loved one about your feelings, but don't know how to confess your love to a man? Is it even worth doing it first? Depends on the situation. It's one thing if you have unrequited feelings for a man - then it's better to keep silent and remember Tatyana Larina, whose initiative was unsuccessful. It is quite another thing - if the beloved himself is crazy about you - then you can please him with a frank and romantic confession.

Let's talk about how to declare your love, confess it to your husband or boyfriend. We will tell you when the first step is not worth taking. Let's share the most romantic ways to tell the object of sighs about your sympathy.

The fear of looking stupid, funny and disappointing the chosen one keeps many girls from having a frank conversation. Source: Flickr (Erdni_Tyamisov)

How to tell a man about your feelings first?

It is worth confessing love to a man only if you are sure of reciprocal feelings. Yes, they are not just sure, but they received confirmation of these feelings: a loved one has repeatedly proved his serious attitude with words and deeds. Therefore, we recommend that you start rehearsing the confession only if:

  • Beloved is your husband, and you want to please your second half once again.
  • The chosen one himself is crazy about you - he spoke more than once about his feelings, did pleasant surprises, gave gifts, pays you a lot of attention, you are in a relationship.
  • You realized that a guy who was hopelessly in love with you for a long time has become more than just a friend - you fell in love with him too and are preparing to please him.

And you shouldn’t think at all how to confess to a man your feelings to girls:

  • Unrequitedly in love with a friend, colleague, acquaintance.
  • In love with a man much older than himself.
  • To your boyfriend, who has noticeably cooled off and never said that he loved you.

Note! It is possible and necessary to confess if the man has already taken the first step! It is strictly forbidden to take the initiative if you are not sure of the reciprocal feelings of the chosen one. With your recognition, you will not achieve reciprocity, but only show yourself obsessive.

Remember Tatyana Larina - a classic example that women's initiative in matters of the heart does not end in anything good. But as soon as she preferred another and took up her life, her lover saw the light and appreciated all her wonderful qualities. This principle also applies to modern life. The more you impose, the stronger guy moves away. It is worth slipping away a little, as he himself will run after you.

Getting ready to confess

How to confess to a man in feelings and not blunder? The fear of looking stupid, funny and disappointing the chosen one keeps many girls from having a frank conversation. Do not be afraid! If you have chosen to recognize someone whose feelings you are sure of, everything will go smoothly, even if you feel insecure. Shyness and shyness to the face of a girl - it looks cute and captivates. So don't worry:

  1. Choose the right moment - let the man be rested, in a good mood.
  2. Rehearse your speech in front of a mirror - this will help you find the right words.
  3. Create a romantic atmosphere in advance - light candles, turn on pleasant music, prepare dinner.

The recognition itself takes a matter of seconds. And if this moment scares you, before a frank conversation, just say: “I want to tell you something important, but I’m very worried!”

Important! It is possible and not to prepare for a recognition in advance. A man will be pleased if you talk about love for the first time in a familiar setting. Especially if he had been waiting for these words for a long time.

Be sincere. No need to squeeze out words of love if you do not feel it. Source: Flickr (Pablo_Pete)

5 best ways to confess your love

How to confess your love to your husband or tell a guy, friend, old admirer about your feelings? We share ways to make it beautiful:

  1. Try extreme options (only for the brave): book a flight on hot-air balloon, skydiving or bungee jumping. During such joint entertainment, both people experience a storm of emotions, so your “I love you” will look natural, and the jitters will easily recede.
  2. How to confess your love to a man romantically? Look for restaurants in the city where tables are hidden from prying eyes by a screen. Order dinner, wine, ask to bring candles and turn on pleasant music. In such an intimate atmosphere, confession will fit just fine.
  3. If you live together (married or in civil marriage), bring comfort and romance to your home: banal attributes like rose petals or candles will set you in the right mood. It's easy to confess in such a situation.
  4. An option for the most shy. Write a letter. Tell him why you love him, thank him for all the good things he does.
  5. For the wives of motorists. Does your husband drive to work in the morning and listen to the same radio? Try to get on the air with recognition - this is welcomed in most radio stations.

Important! The listed methods are suitable for declaring love to a man whose feelings are mutual. If the beloved is indifferent to you, no initiative is needed.

How to tell a man about love? Who, if not psychologists, knows the answer? We share the recommendations of professionals:

  • If you are shy, do not speak - write. Buy beautiful postcard and tell about your love in the epistolary genre.
  • Don't want to speak directly? Hint - give a book with the words: “I feel the same for you that main character to the main character (Juliet to Romeo, Scarlett to Ashley - and replace with the names of the heroes of the presented book).
  • Be sincere. No need to squeeze out words of love if you do not feel it. Men perfectly feel falseness.
  • Try to speak lightly and positively, no need for drama.

Confess your love only when you are sure of reciprocity. You can do this easily and naturally, in a normal situation when you spend time together. Or to please your beloved with a surprise and turn the confession into a romantic act. Be honest, look into his eyes. Good luck!

Related videos

Should I confess my love to a man first?

    It's better not to. Just think about what your confessions will lead to, why the man is not the first to talk to you about love. If he does not have love for you, then why hang your feelings on him. From this, he will not wake up strong feelings for you. You confess your love to him, and what will you do next, you don’t think that he will throw himself on your neck. It is better to reconsider the situation and think about how to make him lose his head from you and say words of love first. If you cannot bear to be silent, write him a letter, but do not send it, but throw it away. Find a way to his heart, but don't talk about love first. You can look stupid, but you don't have to.

    Confess, even if you are not sure of the rationality of your act. Love is above common sense, when she speaks, the mind is silent. It is then that he begins to calculate the options and figure out what would happen if ...

    Yes, there are cases, and there were many who kept silent and regretted it. I can confess that my fellow students did not give the slightest reason to suspect them of anything more than co-education in the same group. What was my surprise when several people from those whom I would never have thought, many years later, admitted that they had feelings. I can't say that I could have answered then if I had known. But why was it silent for so many years!

    Without telling you, you may never know how close you were to your dream.

    If you love a lot, then you can confess.

    I think it's worth it. If you keep silent about your feelings all the time, then you can not wait for happiness. You have to fight for happiness. I do not see anything humiliating in this. After all, we are created equal. Talk about the fact that he should take the first step is just a common stereotype. And it doesn't matter how old you are. Another thing is that it can be difficult to guess the moment for such a step. But if you are friends and know him well, then you probably spend enough time together. You can arrange something romantic yourself. Let's invite him on some kind of not very long trip, and either visit a cultural event together, followed by an evening. It's hard to give specific advice here because I don't know how close you are. But the fact that openly talking about your feelings is not ashamed or shameful, that's for sure. Moreover, this step will show him that you are a strong and purposeful person.

    I confessed 2 times the first in love ... I realized that if a man himself does not want to do this, then there is no point in confessing it myself. But on the other hand, I think, in order not to regret later that the chance was not used, one can confess ... But it's better, in small steps, gradually preparing. You need to think about what to say ... Maybe just ask if you are beautiful as a girl, in his opinion, or what needs to be changed in appearance? ... and look at his reaction.

    Why not?. Appreciate every moment in life. If there is an urge to say important words- tell me, because perhaps there is a place and time to do it exactly like this minute, and also it will never happen again.

    It is better to take a step forward so as not to regret the missed opportunities later, because you will not return the time later. Although, of course, there is a risk of running into condemnation and even ridicule in this. But then and immediately it will become clear that this is not the person who is worth loving.

    Better to confess and regret than not to confess and regret! But if a man is shy and your words can confuse him, then it is better to start with actions-proofs of love. That is, to do for him as much useful as possible, without demanding anything in return. A man will understand that all this is done for a reason.

    if a man is indecisive, but obviously not indifferent to you, you can try, especially since you had enough time to get to know each other.

    I had a very stormy romance with a classmate at the institute. We somehow circled around each other for several months, and then she just came up to me and grabbed, just grabbed, by the sleeve, and offered to go and drink cognac in honor of the beginning of the session. And everything turned out so interesting.

    You are already 32, and you still have no mind. How can it be humiliating to confess your love??? Please tell me to confess your love, it's normal if you are overwhelmed with these feelings, and nothing should stop such a person. This is how ideals are distorted: to send (for example) obscenities, this is already the norm, but confessing love seems humiliating to you, it’s just some kind of nonsense, but they are also surprised: why did the birth rate fall?

Due to the fact that for many years it was believed that men should take the first step to building a relationship, women often have a problem how to confess their love to a man so that at that moment they don’t look stupid and get rejected. At this point, the question arises: how to properly tell your soulmate about your feelings?

Do I need to confess to a man in love or sympathy

First of all, in order to confess your love to a man, you must have a strong character, as well as madly love him. In addition, it is imperative that you clearly decide for yourself whether love is the feeling that you are experiencing.

The fact is that if you simply feel sympathy, the point is to offer a man serious relationship, No. In addition, you need to determine for yourself the importance of the man to whom you want to confess your love. Clearly define what role he plays in your life.

It is very important, before confessing your love to a man, to make sure that this feeling is mutual. In this case, it will be much easier for you to take the first step or help him take it on his own.

In addition, you need to be completely sure that you really love him. So you will be much more comfortable and free to make a confession.

Very often, women who are in love with a man decide to admit it to him. At the same time, the main problem remains that in our society it is not customary for a woman to take the first steps in such matters.

Although, as they say, in this matter all methods are good, and, regardless of gender, it is necessary to fight for your happiness. That is why for many the question of how to confess love to a man is relevant and exciting.

At the same time, a woman who wants to win a man should not throw herself on the neck, because in some cases this can simply frighten the man. The main thing to find out before taking active measures is how suitable he is for you, and also to find out if he is ready for a serious relationship with you.

It is possible that in the event that a man you like is not ready for a relationship, your confessions may push him away from you.

Confessing to a man in love, you should not overplay. In addition, try to put aside your principles, pride, fears and insecurities for a while, since all this does not contribute to sincerity.

That is why, when confessing love to a man, you should first of all be guided by your feelings, because by opening your soul to him, you can become closer to him, but at the same time, you should remember that in this case there is a certain risk of opening up to the wrong person . In addition, you should not rush and fuss, because you have enough time to confess your sympathy and prove the veracity of your words.

How to confess to a man in love

It is best to express your feelings to a man in a romantic setting that is conducive to such situations. For these purposes, a good restaurant or a cozy cafe with light, romantic music is perfect.

During the evening, you should choose the right moment to confess your love to a man. Psychologists recommend in such situations to take a loved one by the hand and look into the eyes, because it is easier to calm down and concentrate.

At the same time, everything must be done so that your declaration of love for a man does not come as a surprise. Therefore, during romantic evening you need to gradually bring him to this issue.

Feelings must be expressed without hesitation, openly. It is quite effective to use foreign expressions in recognition words, or to prepare it in advance, for example, in poetic form. At the same time, it should be remembered that passionate confessions are the lot of a man.

Of course, in order to confess your love to your beloved man, you need to be madly in love with him. And you also need to have a strong character, because this is a rather responsible step.

Many make a mistake when they confess their love to a man, while they simply experience passion and sympathy. A declaration of love is not just words.

Think seriously about how dear this man is to you. When you think about how to confess your love to a man, you must know exactly what role he plays in your life.

If a girl can make sure that her feelings are mutual, then it will be much easier for her to confess her love. A girl who not only loves but is also loved will feel comfortable with her man.

It is desirable to confess your feelings for a man in a romantic setting. You can go to a cafe or restaurant. The main thing is that you feel confident there.

During the entire romantic evening, choose the right moment. Look into the eyes of your interlocutor, so you can gain self-confidence. Also a good solution is to take the hands of your loved one

Your confession is likely to be a real surprise for a man. But you need to try to make sure that it also turns out to be a pleasant surprise.

Be open about your feelings for a man. If you want a declaration of love to look unusual, then you can prepare beautiful love poems in advance. Or you can just confess your love on foreign language.

Avoid passionate confessions, because only men confess like that. Tenderness is what matters.

A beautiful, dazzling smile and the words that you love him are a classic option that will help the chosen one understand the depth of feelings.

After you confessed your love, be sure to look at how the chosen one reacted to your words.

What you need to consider if you want to confess to a man in love

One should take into account the fact that a person with experience becomes more suspicious and cautious. Therefore, if a man who is attractive to you belongs to such an age category, then it will be quite difficult to kindle interest in him in his person.

It should also be noted that most bachelors value their “freedom” so much that at the first hint of a serious relationship, they simply “jump” from them.

When you really like a man, it is best to do everything so that he himself takes the first step towards the beginning of your relationship. To do this, you need to listen to him carefully, look at him with tenderness in your eyes, and also carefully monitor his emotions and share them in order to become irreplaceable.

In cases where you doubt that a man you like has strong feelings for you, it is best to abandon pathos words such as “I love you” and confess your love to a man with your actions and hints.

It is best to express your sympathy softly at first, because if a man has certain feelings for you, this can become an impetus for him.

If you definitely like some pretty man, and you are almost one hundred percent sure that he was created especially for you, the question naturally arises, is he - the dream of your life - interested in you ?!

What is the best way to confess your love to a man?

Can you and, if so, how to confess your love to a man? The main thing here is to find the strength in yourself to make this very recognition. As a result, two outcomes can be expected similar situation: You will be reciprocated or you will be refused.

But keep in mind that in any case, no matter how you win: if you are reciprocated, then you will find long-awaited happiness, and if you are denied, then you will simply understand that this man was not created for you, that your the second half is looking for you somewhere.

In this case, hearing a refusal is better than being lost in doubt for a long time, wasting your personal time, and nerves on this person instead of investing your strength in the right man for you.

If the object of your adoration gives you all sorts of signs of attention, shows interest in your person, then, of course, it would be reasonable to approach a man and explain to him, however, if you had a bitter experience of communicating on such topics with a man you liked, if you misinterpret male signs of attention, then, of course, it is advisable not to take risks and not start a conversation on this topic.

If you still decide to confess your love to a man, then first use the language of gestures and body; focus on your eyes, as they are the mirror of the soul.

To begin with, look into his eyes inadvertently, from time to time take your eyes off to the side, as it is not recommended to “drill” a man with your eyes, look at and hypnotize him. It is no secret that most men, just like women, are shy when people of the opposite sex openly show interest in them and far from always like open flirting with their eyes.

And if a man feels your eyes on him, if he watches you closely, then in any case you will feel it, even if you don’t look at him at that moment.

Thus, the answer to the question "how to confess your love to a man" will be: "Make it with your eyes"! Rest assured that this is the most reliable and most safe way recognition.

And the last thing: when you really understand that eye contact has been established between you and that a man really likes you, then smile sincerely at him and just see what happens next ...