What does it mean to be loved. What does "beloved" mean? The most important word in the mouth of the right person. Definition and signs of love

When a guy and a girl start dating, a tender and reverent feeling arises between them, called love. It is difficult to confuse it, for example, with friendship, but it can easily be confused with passion, or, for example, platonic love. What does it mean to be loved is a far from unambiguous question, but you can try to answer it for yourself.

I love if

  • I am not alone, I have a person with whom we live together, because we feel good, pleasant and interesting with each other;
  • Every morning they tell me that I am loved and what a good morning it is today;
  • Every evening they wish me Good night and affectionately kiss before going to bed;
  • They prepare breakfasts, lunches and dinners for me, bake the most delicious pies and make tea;
  • When I feel bad and I am capricious, I will always be consoled and listened to;
  • When I'm in a bad mood and I want to be alone - on the contrary, they don't pester me with questions;
  • First of all, they ask me what we will do today and what I would like;
  • For holidays and just like that, they give me nice little gifts;
  • When we are not together, they call me and ask how I am doing, they say that they miss me;
  • When they meet, they want to hug and kiss me;
  • If I don’t answer in contact for a long time, they take offense at me, because they are waiting for my attention;
  • When I leave somewhere, they always expect SMS from me that I have arrived and everything is fine with me;
  • It is easy and calm to be near me, even if we do not talk about anything, there is no awkward silence;
  • Looking at me, a loved one will always smile.
  • If the feeling of love is mutual, then I want to do the same for my loved one. I feel sad when he is sad and I am happy when he is in a good mood. Beloved people together are interested in doing anything, just to be in each other's company.

About what love is, hundreds of books have been written and hundreds of films have been shot, but until now, what love is, whether I love, and what it means to be loved - finally everyone can only answer for himself. Even the heroes of romance novels answer this question differently each time.

Psychologists say this: love is an active interest in the growth and development of the object of love. If someone is interested in me, and he wants to spend most of his time with me, you can almost definitely say that I am loved.

Many couples are happily married and enjoy their feeling. However, why do some people have the question: "What is more important - to love or to be loved?" Why should a person make such a choice? Is it possible to be happy in such a situation?

What does it mean to love?

Love is the highest feeling inherent in a person and expressed in deep affection and sympathy for someone. In philosophy, it is seen as a subjective attitude to the object of adoration.

It is important to understand what the word “love” means, and also to be able to distinguish it from being in love. The latter, as a rule, is accompanied by a storm of emotions and passions, but is not long-term. Only if the relationship becomes serious and tested by time, we can talk about love.

Each person has his own view of the world, special values ​​and ideals. Accordingly, the answer to the question “what does it mean to love and how should it manifest itself” is also individual for everyone. There are no uniform norms and criteria for this feeling. What is completely unacceptable in a relationship for one person is the norm for another.

Love and happiness

Each person has their own idea of ​​happiness. Someone thinks that it consists in a huge amount of money, for someone it is interesting job, someone sees it as an opportunity to travel. However, most people associate happiness with love. Only she gives us extraordinary, unlike anything, emotions that we so want to experience again and again.

Experiencing a separation or divorce, people experience such a strong shock that sometimes they do not want to continue to live. It seems to them that happiness has left their home forever. Someone tries to forget as soon as possible and fall in love again, while some never manage to recover after separation.

Desire to be loved

Every person has a natural desire to be loved. From birth, a child needs maternal affection and care. Then, growing up, young people seek to find their soul mate. There is no girl who would never dream of being loved and happy.

Everyone likes compliments, gifts, care from the opposite sex. Even if a person does not experience reciprocal feelings, it is quite pleasant to realize that someone loves you. It fuels self-esteem. Knowing that someone in this world loves you and needs you is wonderful.

The human need to love

No less important is the need for a person to experience the most radiant feelings towards someone. In youth, boys and girls are open to love and are just waiting for someone to bring it down on. That is why it is so easy for young people to find their ideal and dissolve in it.

There is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of being in love. At the same time, time seems to stop, and life takes on a new meaning. Lovers look forward to each new meeting with each other, and thoughts constantly take them to the object of adoration. Even if feelings are unrequited, they bring not only suffering. If a person is able to fall in love at least once in his life, he knows what real happiness is.

Reasons why people refuse to love

The need to both love and be loved is inherent in man by nature. What causes some people to fail to find mutual feelings? Why do they wonder what is more important - to love or to be loved?

As a rule, failures and problems with previous partners can lead to the fact that a person wants to close himself off from love forever. Some people completely refuse any relationship, temporarily or permanently doom themselves to loneliness. Others decide that it is still necessary to have a family, but at the same time they are afraid to love someone again and do not want to. In this situation, they come to the fact that they need to look for a partner who would love them. At the same time, they themselves do not want to experience any feelings, they want to be indifferent.

Another reason to allow yourself to be loved is calculation. Very often, girls marry a wealthy man, not experiencing any feelings for him, and sometimes even hating him. In some situations, hopelessness pushes such an act. For example, a woman left with a small child in her arms without a livelihood is forced to take advantage of the patronage of a rich gentleman, if possible. By the way, there are also men who do not mind living at the expense of a lady. The prospect of a secure and carefree life for such people is put above feelings.

Love without reciprocity

Sometimes a person decides that the main thing for him is to love himself, no matter what. The coldness and indifference of the partner are not taken into account. Such a person experiences such strong feelings that he cannot imagine his life without an object of adoration and is ready to be with him on any terms.

It is not uncommon to encounter a situation where a wife is madly in love with her husband. She turns a blind eye to his betrayals, tries to please him in everything, takes care of her appearance, cooks well, but she cannot get reciprocity from her husband. As a rule, such a woman understands that all her actions will not lead to anything, but she still does not decide on a divorce. She cannot imagine herself without a husband, she believes that it is better to live like this than to break off relations forever.

In marriages where a man is much older than his wife, reciprocity of feelings is also very often absent. Old man understands that the young girl does not love him and lives with him because of the money, but agrees to such a relationship. There are several reasons for this. Firstly, he is pleased to appear with such a companion in public. The envy of friends and acquaintances warms him. Secondly, he is well aware that he will not succeed in finding the same young girl who would sincerely love him, and therefore does not initially count on reciprocal feelings.

Self esteem and love

It's no secret that self-esteem and love are closely related. They have a huge influence on each other and are constantly in close dependence.

When a person hears from someone the phrase: “I love you”, regardless of whether he experiences reciprocity or not, his self-esteem immediately rises. If you are constantly the object of attention of the opposite sex, you feel confident in yourself and feel attractive and desirable. In turn, this attracts the admiring glances of others to you even more.

Relationship failures can have a negative impact on self-esteem. It is aggravated at times if the partner kept repeating every day that you will never find anyone better than him, constantly pointed out your shortcomings and criticized all your actions. All this leads to the fact that self-esteem drops so much that you completely cease to consider yourself worthy of being with your loved one and building normal relationships.

One thing must be remembered: in order for someone to love you, you must first of all have respect for yourself and not lose your dignity. Relationships in which you are humiliated and offended should be terminated as soon as possible. With adequate self-esteem, you will definitely meet someone with whom you will be happy. And you will certainly learn how to be the most loved.

If only one loves...

It would seem that there should be fewer problems in a union in which one loves, and the second only allows himself to be loved, than in an ordinary couple. The one who experiences this feeling himself enjoys intimacy with a partner, rejoices in every moment spent together. The one who allows himself to be loved is not jealous, does not worry, does not require undue attention, does not roll up scandals, if, for example, the spouse did not pick up the phone or was late at work. However, in such an alliance there are more problems than usual. And it's hard for both partners to be happy.

Without experiencing any feelings for a spouse and living side by side with him every day, a person begins to get angry and break down because of every little thing. He is annoyed by absolutely everything that the partner does or says, even if he tries to please everything. A person seeks to spend as much time as possible outside the home, to ignore a spouse, to look for an outlet on the side.

The one who sincerely loves a partner cannot face constant indifference on his part. Even if at first a person agrees to any conditions, later he will more and more lack reciprocal feelings. He increasingly begins to think about what is more important - to love or be loved. It is likely that someday his patience will come to an end, and he will decide to build relationships based on reciprocity.

Is it possible to live without love?

Sometimes, having experienced terrible disappointment on the love front, people decide for themselves that there will be no more relationships in their lives. They do not think what is more important - to love or be loved, but simply put an end to their personal lives.

Most often, such people go headlong into work, devote themselves to children, try to find some kind of hobby. They reject all kinds of attentions, refuse dates and behave coldly with members of the opposite sex. As a rule, women do not let men near them at all. Representatives of the stronger sex behave differently. Men decide for themselves that they will never say the phrase "I love you." They most often allow easy, non-committal relationships, but immediately stop them as soon as they feel pressure from the partner.

Is it possible to live without love? Probably yes, and many succeed. The only question is, are these people happy...

Nowadays girls and guys fall in love, experience passion, happiness, jealousy and compassion just like they did 100 years ago. However, today's youth is more demanding and often suffers from a lack of love. Among them, there are more of those who want pleasure and are not ready to make any sacrifices for the sake of love.

Therefore, for many love it doesn’t start, while others file for divorce, refuse the order of life and stability, believing that love has passed.

When we love, we always want to be aware of the events and experiences of the one to whom our feelings are addressed. If the parents love and accept the child, he will grow up with the experience of love. If he is constantly scolded, accused, punished and humiliated, then it will be difficult for him to love himself later. Therefore, each of us from childhood formed certain expectations from those who love us.

To determine what you expect from love and how do you imagine being loved, answer 40 questions and highlight the letter after the question mark if your answer is "Yes!":
1. Do you think love brings only suffering? - G
2. For you, love is giving everything without demanding anything in return? - G
3. For you, life loses color and taste if you do not feel a loving look on you? - B
4. Are you sure that being loved is feeling like the only one? - B
5. Do you like to seduce but try not to fall in love? - B
6. Are you willing to forgive a lot for the sake of love? - G
7. You don't like to take risks? - BUT
8. Do you always look for harmony in love? - BUT
9. Do you think that a loved one should help and inspire you in everything? - AT
10. When communicating with your loved one, do you have trouble controlling your emotions? - BUT

11. After an argument with a loved one, do you always ask for forgiveness first, even if you don’t feel guilty? - G
12. Do you enjoy spending all your free time with your loved one? - BUT
13. Do you not recognize love without absolute fidelity? - BUT
14. Shouldn't lovers keep any secrets from each other? - BUT
15. Do you prefer passion to harmony? - G
16. Are you afraid of making a mistake? - B
17. Do you not notice the flaws of your loved one when you are in love? - AT
18. Does someone else's opinion mean a lot to you? - B
19. Do you rarely please yourself? - G
20. Do you think that your true love is ahead? - AT

21. Do you think that a loved one should be ready to do everything for you? - G
22. Is it extremely important to you that your loved one approves of your views and decisions? - AT
23. Love is most often violence? - G
24. Do you like original people, almost outcasts? - AT
25. Do you rarely judge others? - AT
26. Do you do everything to avoid conflicts? - BUT
27. Are you afraid of strong passions? - BUT
28. Have you ever had a calm relationship? - G
29. Do you easily recognize yourself defeated? - B
30. Do you sometimes notice that men do not pay any attention to you? - B

31. Are you promiscuous in your choice of partners, do you willingly allow yourself to be carried away? - AT
32. Do you think that love comes once and for all, is it difficult for you to forget everything and start all over again? - BUT
33. In general, do you consider yourself an indecisive person? - AT
34. Do you get bored if you are not busy? - AT
35. Do you find it difficult to defend your position if you disagree with something? - B
36. Do you feel abandoned and deprived of a part of yourself when your loved one leaves somewhere for a long time? - B
37. Do you prefer passion with some roughness? - G
38. Are you sure that your loved one is obliged to make you the happiest? - BUT
39. Would you like to become a more confident person? - B
40. Are you very adaptable to everything? - AT


If a most of the letters "A", then you imagine love as a long and calm river, and not a stormy stream. You expect from love a relationship in which you will feel safe, which does not exclude strong and deep feelings. Security for you is synonymous with fidelity and trust, so you will never be able to forgive the betrayal of your loved one and you yourself will not start frivolous relationships on the side.

At the heart of it all are your parents, who failed to provide you with a sense of emotional and financial security as a child. To achieve harmony with your loved one, do not forget that your safety depends more on your feelings, and not on his attitude towards you.

If a most of the letters "B", then for you to be loved and to be the only one and the same. In love, you take a passive position, because you think that your loved one should do everything to make you feel happy next to him. You are sure that you only have to take care of yourself and look your best in order to arouse desire in your loved one. However, the danger of such a relationship is that the stronger your ability to seduce, the more vulnerable you are.

Unfortunately, your parents lived only in your interests and had high hopes for you, making you dependent on their opinion. Learn to determine your own importance and do not constantly seek the approval of others.

If a most of the letters "B" then love is your fuel. Without the feeling that you are loved and loved, your life loses flavor and color. You expect too much from your beloved, in your opinion, he is the one who should put an end to your monotonous and boring existence. At the heart of such expectations is an old wound when you felt unnecessary to your parents. Learn to love yourself and try to satisfy your needs on your own, without the help of outsiders.

If a most of the letters "G", then for you love is suffering. Pain and fear are associated with love, and this seems to you a fair price for the passion that you experience in relation to your loved one. Parting with him is tantamount to death for you. At the heart of such an attitude towards a loved one are parents who, in childhood, often punished the child psychologically or physically. As a result, as an adult, he continues to believe that he deserved everything that happens to him. To get rid of the repetition of the past and begin to respect yourself, you will need the help of a psychotherapist.

Everyone in life had such a feeling as love. But love is different, you can love everyone and everyone, but then what is true love ???

It is easy to say words of love, but the most difficult thing is to say it not just like that, but what your soul and heart really feel. This is much more difficult, since you need to choose the words that you really want to say and that it would be sincere.

So what is love anyway? It's impossible to explain. Everything seems simple, but at the same time it is complicated. This is bitterness and tears, dreams and separation, tender words, touches, fire in the eyes, meetings and torments. Love is the world that we must cherish with all our hearts. Love is when you live for another person, live his life, you value every minute with him, you always feel good with him, even when he does something not your way.
"Love" is a very deep concept. The concept of love includes a lot. This includes patience, forgiveness, and mutual respect. It is imperative to respect each other, without this there will be no love.

Sometimes I ask myself, when I was very, very happy, when I LIVED, what were those moments? And I answer myself that it was when I was able to forget myself, when I was completely transferred to another person. This was life. This is what I loved.

It is impossible to explain what love is, you won’t understand it until you love it yourself, love is when you hear and feel “LOVE” in response to your “LOVE”. Love is an irresistible attraction to another person, the desire to be with him, to take care and protect, to sacrifice oneself for the sake of a loved one - and at the same time not to feel dependent, to remain oneself. Love is impossible without mutual respect, care, fidelity, responsibility. But only loving person able to understand another person and accept him as he is, with all the advantages and disadvantages. And at the same time, do not try to change something in him, if the loving person himself does not want to change something in himself for the sake of love, but it will not be the one you loved.
Time will heal the wounds that a person gave you, who spoke so beautifully and well about his love, but was it REAL LOVE ??? You can only let go if you don't love. And don’t ask for life anymore, return everything back, what you can’t return, don’t wait and don’t lie to yourself, but go your own way, not an easy one.

Most importantly, do not waste your life on those who do not appreciate you, do not love and do not wait. Do not waste tears on those who do not see them, on those who simply do not need you. Do not say words of love if you do not lead and do not feel reciprocity from him, it is not worth it, in the end you will simply break your heart. The heart is not a thing that can be glued together with ordinary glue. This wound will not heal as soon as you would like, but it will leave a mark for life.
So do not waste your life, appreciate every breath, moment and hour, for those who are close to you. True love will come and you will recognize it immediately.

Let the years succeed each other, and mores become freer, but the word "love" does not lose its importance. Of course, it all depends on the mood and the meaning invested in this word, but it is more and more difficult to wait for a declaration of love from a modern person. So what does "beloved" mean in the mouth of a man? Does he understand how his half of this appeal is waiting for him? You should not equate all the representatives of the stronger sex with one brush, but it is better to single out the categories of men who should be trusted in this aspect.

From the point of view of the rules of the language

If you find the word "beloved" in Ozhegov's dictionary, you can familiarize yourself with the following interpretation. Beloved is a person dear to the heart, or one to whom love is directed. Otherwise, we can say that this is the person who likes the most.

The interpretation of the term in relation to books, food, flowers is not excluded. What does "favorite food" mean? These are the foods that taste the most. It is unlikely that a person can say that his favorite food is more important for him than a person?! So the word "beloved" suggests some degree of intensification of feelings. We find it easier to confess our love for an inanimate object, food, season, or even animals. And why? Yes, because at the same time we remain free in our behavior.

A beloved cat will not be offended if we scratch behind the ear of a street fluffy. And our favorite macaroni and cheese will not leave the house if we eat borscht with appetite. Such things will not work with a person. If we talk about love with a partner, then we give him exclusive "rights" to ourselves. Maybe in this arrangement true love equates to slavery?

Is it worth it to believe the words?

No need to rush to conclusions and refuse declarations of love. It is better to decide what your "love" means. How quickly do you decide on such a recognition? And what do you invest in recognition? Sometimes "I love" is "I want". That is, behind recognition lies a banal desire to possess. And this desire is passing, that is, in this case, "I love" has a statute of limitations. Here recognition can happen quite quickly, but this is not an indicator at all. So it is worth believing the words with caution.

Is recognition supported by deeds? This does not mean mercantile interest, but the concern shown in relation to the object of love. Does he call or text? Can you pick it up if you're limping? Does he pay for you at the cafe? Remembers mom's birthday and favorite flowers? Love is shown in the little things and in your own sense of comfort. If in company with a person you feel at home, then this is your person, and there is warmth towards each other. It may be too early to talk about love, but there are all the prerequisites.

What is her favorite?

Let's try to draw a verbal portrait and understand what a beloved woman means in the life of a modern man?

Beloved man will not irritate, offend, ignore. He will not forget to call if he is late from work. He will bring something tasty for her from the store, cover her with a warm blanket and buy flowers without reminders. The beloved woman is not jealous, as she is confident in herself and her chosen one. Beloved woman will cook dinner with pleasure, as she is pleased to feed a man tasty and satisfying. For her, this is not a duty and not a duty, but an expression of will.

It should be noted that the moment that the beloved girl does not forget about her beauty. She understands that saving on herself is wrong, and therefore she will allocate time for a doctor, a manicurist and a hairdresser. It does not necessarily mean that she will spend a lot of money. After all, a beloved woman understands that being beautiful is easy if there is a desire.

So, what does a beloved woman mean for a man? For him, she is a whole world in which he is comfortable, warm and pleasant. It would never occur to him to betray this world or leave it. After all, this is tantamount to giving up your real life.

True love

Is there evidence for the truth of feelings? Of course, no one will give an absolute guarantee in such a matter, but nevertheless, conclusions can be drawn on the basis of many actions. For example, a loving person knows how to forgive. He will give the right to make a mistake and will be able to find an excuse for his chosen one. This is a great virtue - love does not remember evil.

To love means to be happy. Unconditional and simple. To see happiness in small things, to be able to rejoice at a joint upsurge, to hug at a meeting, to worry about your soul mate.

If you love, you will believe and you will not check. Because you understand: betrayal is a betrayal that shows the true attitude.

Happily ever after

If a person has already decided to confess his feelings, then he will have to stop comparing. A declaration of love is a verbal recognition of the finality of one's choice. What does a loved one mean to you? He is your other half. Will you compare half of yourself to anyone else? What for? After all, you are physically unable to change it for another!

This is how you treat your loved one! If he seems worse than anyone else, then there is no need to talk about love. Then do not shake the air in vain. Instead, take the time to break up nicely with a person who may have real feelings for you.