Raise a girl to be a real lady. How to raise a young lady with good taste and manners from a girl? Aikido and affection

In principle, the upbringing of children must be approached responsibly, but look around - how many such examples in life can we name? Personally, I am none. For some reason, for many parents, raising a real lady means instilling good manners in her, simply speaking, teaching them the rules of etiquette known to them. In fact, this process is much richer and more multifaceted. And, accordingly, it will require a lot of time, effort and self-education from parents.

But how strong are educational stereotypes ...

“Don't be greedy! Let the boy play with your bunny!”

- Mom tears out a toy from her daughter in the sandbox so that someone else's child does not cry, stretching his arms to the coveted (and, mind you, someone else!) Plush hare.

Now imagine an adult lady. Will she hastily scoop out all the contents from her purse so that someone does not envy? Of course not. So, maybe you don’t need to deprive your baby for the sake of someone?

If you are too zealous in your desire to supposedly teach your child to share, there is a great risk that you will succeed. And then the baby’s forced “kindness” will be used by everyone who is not too lazy: in kindergarten she will give away toys, at school she will do homework for her lazy girlfriends, and at work she will constantly “help out” colleagues. You didn't want that, did you?

Raise a lady: learn to change. Not to give away the toy, but to exchange. “Honey, look, the girl wants to play with your bunny. Maybe she will offer you her balloons - you can run with them! Change for a while?" Let someone else's child hear your words, then he will willingly agree to such cooperation. And your lady will learn that the exchange is completely harmless, because for an ordinary and familiar hare you can get beautiful balloons for the game.

What to do if your girl does not agree to the exchange? Retreat. But try next time. Even babies often have a staunch character, so let her make her own choice (after all, you don’t like all people either). This will come in handy more than once in her life.

“You must obey me!”

This is undoubtedly correct, but with some reservations. A real lady learns herself and must make decisions. Do not be upset if the child categorically does not respond to the word “no” or “because I said so.” Prohibitions will do nothing: resort to an explanation.

Raise a lady: explain with logic understandable for the age of the child what benefits the implementation of your instructions will give him. And how upset you will be if she does the opposite and, let's say, this will lead to unpleasant consequences. Recall some incident from the past: for example, when you ordered not to take needles, and your daughter grabbed and pricked herself.

An accessible explanation is the best contribution to the upbringing of a real lady. You will teach her not to obey, but to understand and reflect. It's much more meaningful! Mastering a reasonable approach to making any decision, your girl will be much more independent than her peers. And you can safely entrust her with any business or let her go for a walk with her girlfriends in the park, knowing that nothing will happen to her: your smart, intelligent woman will not do stupid things without her mother's supervision.

“Be polite to everyone!”

Oh, what an ambiguous requirement! But even psychologists advise not to accumulate everything in yourself! Have you noticed that a person who is impeccably polite, sweet and pleasant in all respects, if we put aside his ostentatious success, is not doing as smoothly as it could? There are no perfect people, just like not every person is to our liking. Forcing a child to prevaricate and be equally polite and smiling with everyone, you thereby drive into the framework of etiquette to the detriment of personality development. And indeed it is.

This does not mean that children should not be taught behavior. Need to. But - without going too far. A real lady knows how to behave at the table and use cutlery, she will keep up the conversation and dress with taste. It is definitely worth learning.

Raise a lady: a real lady will never offend a person with rudeness! If any person is unpleasant to you, try to minimize communication with him - tell your baby about it.

“Here I am at your age!..”

The little lady is your daughter, but not your copy. In addition - what a sin to hide! - many children's pranks are forgotten over time, and adults love to ascribe infallibility to themselves.

Raise a lady: tell us about your childhood pranks! Yes, yes, let the baby know that you were a child too! This story will only bring you closer, and the lady will begin to tell you her childhood secrets. Why not? After all, mom should be the best friend of a real lady!

“Take an example from me!”

And this is very good advice. But. Mom will have to really become an example. Have you ever wanted to lose weight? Immediately on a diet and for exercise equipment! Go to a beautician? Sign up for it right now! And do not worry that by spending time on yourself, you take it away from the child. Not at all! It will be useful for a girl to know and see that she needs to take care of herself. Plus, you can take it with you.

The baby will be proud and happy if she does fitness with her mother. Or sit in a chair, looking at magazines or doing coloring while you are at the beautician.

Raise a lady: give her a manicure (no need to paint her nails, just show that even her small nails need care), on Sunday, going for a walk - an interesting hairstyle. If you want her to be interested in art, visit art galleries, theater, exhibitions together.

A real lady has everything

This is a very delicate moment. You should not buy up all the toys that a lady will point her finger at. Real ladies do not do this: they only need what they really need, therefore, before making a purchase or asking their parents about it, she will think a hundred times whether she really needs this thing or outfit.

Most likely, you have heard the phrase that we have exactly as much money as we need. About the following happens with children: psychologists note that children who were spoiled and who were used to having, in fact, everything they needed, realized themselves much more successfully in adult life than their peers who grew up in strictness.

Are you throwing a party for your little one's birthday? By the way, balloons, bright posters with congratulations and cartoon characters, a beautiful cake and light snacks will come in handy. Stock up on new full-length cartoons, come up with a couple of interesting games - and your birthday girl will be delighted!

It doesn't have to be an expensive holiday. There are many budget solutions, a couple of bright accents in which will make the celebration unforgettable for the little guests, and for the hero of the occasion, and for their parents!

No wonder they say that raising a daughter is deep and sacred, since the main attention here is paid not to physical, like in boys, but to ethical and spiritual development. On the other hand, this is a colossal work, a huge responsibility and, without a doubt, an art that is practically not taught anywhere. Who will reveal the main secret for mothers, how to raise a girl? The answer to this and other questions is given below.

baby corner

From about a year and a half, girls begin to identify themselves by gender. This usually happens in the game. Why do girls play mother-daughter? Most likely, because in a woman, by nature, the desire to take care of someone is inherent. Since childhood, she unconsciously feels that she must fulfill her mission of procreation. And the game for her is a kind of training. It is no coincidence that education begins with ... Buying toys. This does not mean that the daughter only needs to purchase dolls. But she is simply not interested in playing cars. The girl needs her own corner with toy dishes, furniture, pillows and blankets. Here she will be able, as it were, to twist her nest. It is desirable that adults intrude less into this corner. In the game, the child experiences many important things, learns, masters the rules of behavior in society. In addition, the game is a mirror for parents. Watch your daughter, and you will notice that in the game she uses your words, gestures, manner of communication. We are all not perfect, and with the help of a child, you can notice your mistakes in upbringing.

Clean house

From an early age (about a year old), involve the girl in doing housework together. Take the trouble to buy her a mop, a broom. Try to start by presenting cleaning in the form of a game. At the same time, gradually accustom to accuracy, ask to complete the work begun. There is no need to forbid the crumbs to do their "master's" affairs - let them wash, vacuum, even if she does not succeed at first. Let your little one contribute to her homework. It is clear that mom will do everything herself faster and better, for example, she will sweep the same floors. But if you forbid the girl to help, she can form a complex inside herself, self-doubt will appear. And in addition, it will discourage you from doing household chores for a long time. There is also the problem of lack of communication with children. As usual: my mother comes running from work, and immediately to the kitchen - she cooks food, then she does the laundry. There is simply no time to deal with a child, but if he climbs under the arm, they simply brush him aside. But try to do everything together. Perhaps this way cooking and cleaning will take more time, but the baby will have fun and educational practice! And the mother will immediately kill not even two, but three birds with one stone: she will do her homework, teach her daughter a lot and compensate for the lack of communication.

We instill taste

Sometimes it's a big secret for moms - how to dress a girl? Here, oddly enough, it is worth giving the child the right to choose. For example, a girl up to two years old wore only panties. The little girl really liked the dress given below the knees by her mother. Since then, she asks to buy only dresses "like princesses" and refuses to wear anything else. In such cases, you can, of course, force what you like on the child. But is it worth it? You will spoil the mood for both him and yourself. Besides, imposing your opinion will not lead to anything good. It may happen that when the daughter grows up, she will not be able to choose her own clothes and will constantly need someone's advice. It’s not worth insisting that she wear certain colors and styles, but you need to explain which shoes are suitable for which outfit. It is important to instill good taste in a girl. Explain that there is everyday and festive clothing, tell us what is the difference. Learn to take care of things. Usually girls worry if they accidentally tear or stain their dress. By the way, you can immediately offer her to mend everything herself. It’s not scary if it doesn’t work out right away, but the baby will appreciate the work of her mother and will be more accurate. Many parents braid their daughters braids almost until the tenth grade.

Meanwhile, the girl is already a year and a half able to comb herself. Show how it's done, tell her what hairstyles suit her. You will save yourself from unnecessary trouble, and the daughter will become more independent. A little fashionista should have her own jewelry. And mom will tell you how to choose the right one for the outfit. Mom's cosmetics act magically on her daughter. The baby sees how her mother puts on makeup, and she also wants to be attractive. Do not hide cosmetics from your child. Better explain how to use all these things. Let the girl have her own cosmetics: hygienic lipstick, baby perfume and nail polish. Taste and more taste. Raising him in childhood is one of the primary tasks in raising a girl. In the future, she will not only choose outfits, but also make up the interior of the house. And there - and develop the taste of your daughter.

The Secret of the First Kiss

Both parents should be involved in the upbringing of a girl. But the leading role, perhaps, belongs to the mother. It is she who will initiate her daughter into the women's sacraments. And this can only be done if we trust each other. Here is one example. The girl, having come from kindergarten, admitted that she kissed the boy. The first kiss is a trembling event that remains in memory for years, and it is valuable that the child shared it with his mother. Earning a child's trust is not easy. Children do not forgive injustice, deceit. Be frank and sincere with your daughter. Don't want your daughter to keep secrets from you? Show your love and respect in various ways.

In turn, the father for the girl is, first of all, a guarantor of safety and a good friend. She feels safe with him. With dad, you can allow various pranks (even ride him on horseback), play ball. It is important that the father pays a lot of attention to his daughter, gives not only toys, but also flowers on March 8, thereby showing that he sees a little lady in her. However, you do not need to spoil and patronize your daughter too much. Otherwise, she will face difficulties with choosing a husband. American actress Liza Minnelli, for example, admitted that she could not find a chosen one for a long time: not a single applicant could stand comparison with a caring father who did not refuse her anything. It has been proven that a woman chooses a person who is similar to her parent or completely opposite as her companion - it all depends on what kind of relationship there were in the family. If the baby does not have a father, a grandfather or uncle, for example, can become a model of a “real husband”.

On the picture : fashionable rubber boots for girls(Online store Tovarik.com.ua, section children)

Hygiene of body and soul

One of the main points in how to raise a girl is hygiene. The girl needs to be taught to hygiene from the cradle. And here parents often face difficulties, because children are curious, they open the world around them every minute (and in themselves too). It is better if the baby hears from her mother answers to her questions on anatomy, from her, and not from a neighbor girl, she learns about the structure of the body. Equally important is the hygiene of the soul. What is the ideal of a woman in modern society? Kind, gentle, patient, able to empathize. A woman of the 21st century also needs to be erudite, to be able to stand up for herself. How to cultivate these qualities in a girl? First of all, by personal example.

One way or another, the child adopts the mother's vision of the world. If you allow yourself to be tough, harsh towards your spouse, the girl will behave the same way with her future partner. Children reflexively try to be like their parents, the young imitator is inspired by a living example, and not exhortations and educational conversations. But often adults, calling for one thing, do the opposite. The child believes not so much in his ears as in his eyes. Introduce your daughter to the world of arts, teach her to sing and dance, draw, compose poetry, introduce the rules of etiquette. Remember that children require a lot of warmth and love. But love must be reasonable. From whether you can comprehend the essence of the secret for mothers, how to raise a girl, and what requirements you will make to your daughter, it depends on what kind of woman her future husband will accept from your hands.

On the picture:captivating baby pen- glows when the child writes, a great helper for a kid who is learning to write or draw (Online store Tovarik.com.ua, section Education and creativity)

Raising a young lady from a little baby

A little wonderful creature is growing up in your family - a daughter. Such words as tenderness, elegance, angelic appearance, naivety and, of course, good manners are associated with the girl. Every mother wants her daughter to be a good housekeeper, an excellent housewife in the kitchen and an excellent educated companion.

But how to grow a young lady out of a girl, "an athlete, a Komsomol member and a dazzling beauty"? For some reason, there is an opinion that girls should not play in the sandbox, climb trees and come home with their knees torn off. And this is how we deprive them of their childhood. We ourselves, unwillingly, drown out the feeling of curiosity in girls, do not allow them to explore the environment and constantly remind them of this with the words: “You are a girl.”

Before making a remark to your baby, think about whether it is justified or better to remain silent.

We educate a good hostess and assistant

Unlike boys, girls are more willing to help around the house. They are ready to help mom with cooking or cleaning. Therefore, you should not drown out these children's impulses, but on the contrary, encourage in every possible way, give your daughter the opportunity to participate in household chores. There is nothing wrong with the fact that at first the baby will not succeed, the floor will be flooded with water, and the cleaning will drag on for several hours. But in any case, you must give your daughter the opportunity to help, she will feel that her help to her mother is simply necessary. If at the initial stage this desire is drowned out, then at an older age it will be very difficult for you to get her to clean the room or help you in the kitchen.

But you should not focus the attention of the child only on cleaning and cooking, you do not need to remind her that the role of a woman is to take care of the house and raise children.

Which section or circle to choose?

When my daughter grew up a little, I want her to study in some section. But you should not choose a circle for your daughter, which are considered traditional for girls. Many believe that a girl should be engaged in dancing, drawing or music. Naturally, in such sections, the girl of the table would be more graceful, plastic and with a developed aesthetic taste. But this does not mean that girls should be engaged exclusively in circles of a "girlish" orientation. Not all kids love dancing. Some prefer swimming or wrestling.

You must provide the child with the opportunity to engage in different circles, then he will diversify.

And of course, you should not force your child to study in the section that you like, you must provide the right to choose.

A little about toys

The doll is the most common toy for girls, performing several important tasks.

Baby doll - with this toy, the girl feels like a mother, because she needs to be looked after, swaddled, put to bed, in general, you need to do what her mother did with her at an early age or if there is a younger brother or sister who are a good example for the girl. This toy is a kind of "rehearsal" of the role of the future mother, which is why its social significance is so great.

Thanks to the existence of Barbie dolls, the girl plays into adulthood. With the help of "uncle" dolls, you can create a toy family in which roles are clearly assigned. Thus, the girl learns and prepares for her future family life.

In addition, girls are interested in various household items: iron, vacuum cleaner, dishes.

At the same time, the girl should have toys of a different orientation. For example: puzzles, cars, etc. Modern ladies know how to drive cars, serve in the army, so the girl needs to be developed in all directions.

Clothes for a young lady

Many mothers who raise girls, what to dress up their little princess? If the baby is indifferent to clothes, then in this case, it is the mother who decides everything. You can opt for a ruffle dress or opt for a unisex style. When your daughter begins to show preferences in clothes, then follow her choice, and do not strive to buy those things that only you like.

If your daughter's wardrobe consists of jeans or trousers, then you should make sure to have several skirts with sweaters. This is necessary to instill in the baby a taste and sense of style. Pay attention to hairpins and hair bands, they should be in harmony with the clothes.

But you must not forget that all women are very different, but each in society is an individual. Therefore, it is important that, first of all, a good educated person and an interesting personality grow out of your child.

A polite, modest, kind girl with self-esteem is a real reward for parents. Useful tips from WomanHit on how to achieve this

It is no secret that many women sleep and see how they will have a daughter, and then they will make every effort to grow out of her, if not a princess, then at least a real lady. Men in this regard also do not lag behind, and if a tiny girl appears in their family, they treat her in a special way - with trepidation. It is important to develop a sense of beauty in the child, which will initiate the disclosure of femininity in the future.

If you have set as your goal to give the girl all the best, necessary and necessary, one of the important points will be the development of the rules of decency in society. To do this, try to be (or become) such a person yourself, because children, especially at an early age, adopt the image of adults, copying them in everything. Show that people should be treated with respect, be friendly and moderately responsive. Explain that in case of attending events, it should fit and look decent.

A particularly important person in a girl's life is her mother, so it is important for women who have a daughter to follow what example she sets for the girl. Encourage her desire to cook something or participate in other household chores. No need to get angry if things don't go smoothly. From the first time and the adult does not always succeed. Show that her help is important to you, encourage her to participate in preparing dinner for the whole family. Having received your approval, the girl will begin to show more diligence and will definitely succeed in the difficult housekeeping.

Pay attention to the games, try to take part in them and gently guide. If you are playing mother-daughter, subtly show the correct model of how to treat your family. The same requirements apply to dad, because the way he treats mom, to a large extent, influences the choice of a future companion.

Teach the girl to show compassion, the ability to empathize and help loved ones when necessary. And again - a personal example is required. For clarity, get a pet, let the girl herself try to take on part of the care of the pet.

It is also important to notice the hidden talents of the child as early as possible. Watch the girl - perhaps there are things for which she shows a special zeal. It should be borne in mind that children's hobbies and interests change at a high speed, so try to cover several areas of her interests so as not to miss one important one.

However, remember that a real lady can only grow up in an atmosphere of love and mutual respect. Just as a mother is an example for a girl of the woman she can become, so is her father a prototype of the man she will meet in the future. Start with yourself - and your girl will definitely become a lady.

When I was a little older than my child in the kindergarten, there was no better game for me than running with the boys behind the pavilion, because you can’t go there. Dolls, hospitals and kitchenettes were left in the care of the girls from my senior kindergarten group, and my mother did not wear dresses so desired by my own child, because I said that it was uncomfortable for me to run and jump in them. This is me for comparison.

To tell the truth, I did not and do not set out to raise the heroine of a cartoon about princesses from my daughter. There, of course, everything is good and rosy, but when the princess is faced with gray everyday life and ordinary everyday problems, she is discouraged (the most appropriate word for a princess). Real ladies, in my understanding, are mannered ladies who did not hold anything heavier than a book in their hands. They look down on you if you don't know what that 35th fork to your right is for. How can you not know such basic things? Another real lady from mink diapers was accustomed to the idea that she is the very best and the earth revolves around her. This excess leads to spoiledness and an inability to adequately perceive criticism. And then the lady goes to school and meets Masha, who reads faster, Veronica, who dances and sings, and Vova, who at the age of seven knows three languages.

Reality will be cruel for the young lady.

Now the pros. Real ladies are not only spoiled etiquette gurus who are interested in the most fashionable shade of lipstick of the season, but also very educated people. It is interesting to keep up a conversation with them, they are erudite and polite interlocutors. Well, who doesn't want to see their child like this?

A real lady takes care of her health. Do not forget about the principles of proper nutrition and physical activity. This is a very useful quality that I would like my daughter to carry through her whole life.

Politeness. In my understanding, a well-mannered person with good manners already falls under the concept of a “real lady / gentleman”. Politeness is endearing, and I'm already working hard with my lady on this subject.

Get me this dress!

Where is the magic word?

Please!

Whether she is a real lady or not, she will decide for herself, but I will try to raise a happy girl who, if she wants to play in a dress in Cossack robbers with boys, will not hear from me: “You are a lady! Get that nonsense out of your head!" It is necessary to let the child enjoy childhood, because it is so fleeting!