If the husband is stingy what to do. What to do if a man is greedy? What is the difference between greed and economy

When a young man says that all women are greedy and materialistic, you can be sure that such people have nothing to give a woman. And it's not always just financial support. Male energy should be directed to someone, as female energy should be received. Money energy is a masculine energy and a woman receives through her partner. The female contribution to the couple is of a completely different nature, but the companion has nothing to worry about - this contribution is also there, the relationship in the couple is always looped. First of all, you need to figure out how it differs from the stingy or practical - a greedy man Psychology has long been exploring this topic and what to do with this problem.

A rich companion may seem really greedy to a lady. The fact is that this type prefers to spend his money on his own business, especially if he has just started doing his own thing. To call a friend greedy does not dare - he still spends his finances, purposefully, though not on a woman.

For a woman, there is a certain risk in these, albeit necessary, investments - what if it happens that now the companion is investing, and the girlfriend endures it, but when it comes time to use the honestly acquired fruits of labor, will a new chosen one appear, who will get everything, without a protracted waiting period. For women, when understanding whether a friend is greedy or not, it is important to evaluate not how much money a partner spends on her, but what part of his income he spends or is ready to spend. The amounts can be different, their significance for the partner himself is different.

What is money is an indicator of the success of a partner in life.

For representatives of the stronger sex, this is expressed in these pieces of paper. Having a certain income, a person is self-sufficient, successful and male energy is strong. Such partners also have certain disadvantages that a lady who claims to be a real alpha male nearby must understand and still be ready to go. He will not be able to devote much time and his attention - after all, at this time he earns money. Will not listen to emotions and tantrums and understand whims. Accept - yes, but will not understand.

If a man is greedy, it means that either he cannot give you what you need, or he does not want to. That a man should be generous not only to provide for his wife, but also for himself. Knowing how to give money to his companion, he is able to give warmth, attention, love. Closing everything in itself, destroys the circle of circulation of warmth, care and love between yourself and your partner, this will never create a healthy relationship. And the woman wonders: are you a man or not?

How to recognize a greedy man - certain signs that psychology kindly offers will help with this.

  • spends with pleasure only in cases where it will receive a direct benefit from spending. Dinner at expensive restaurant Paid just because it's his favorite restaurant. Any jewelry will be bought because you are going to a corporate party together, and you need to present your companion in a favorable light, without losing face in front of business colleagues. Ultimately, these expenses are not for you;
  • gifts are made only on occasion. Spending should be logical, practical and justified;
  • every time the conversation turns to finances, past merits and extravagance in those days are remembered. This does not justify frugality in the present day, nor does it indicate how he intends to solve his difficulties;
  • each item is accompanied by his commentary on the price, with or without;

  • knows everything about discounts better than you: where, what and when;
  • large sums are spent with great reluctance;
  • passion - collecting (apparently, including money);
  • never leaves a tip in a restaurant;
  • does not bring anything simply joyful into his life, without a pronounced benefit. Having funds, does not travel, is not fond of something, has no passions (except for the aforementioned collecting);
  • carefully counts the change;
  • if you just met - does not seek to treat you with a cup of coffee, and if this still happens, the bill offers to be divided in half;
  • if you live together, it requires a report for every penny spent;
  • the phrase “money does not buy happiness” is a refrain in your relationship.

Some ladies also see stinginess in practicality, but if there is a rational explanation for this, which does not turn out to be a lack of attention and love for you, then this is a rational waste. If the cost does not include the acquisition of small things that bring joy to a companion, then the fact that he will give emotions or attention will also be denied. Therefore, it is important to understand how to recognize and what to do next.

Causes of greed

Why do men become like this and what affects it.

  • Systematic lack of funds in the past, perhaps poverty in the family of parents and one's own. People who survived the famine will never scatter food, the same with finances - the fear of falling into the same situation.
  • Birth trauma (for lovers of esotericism - karma). It is already recognized that the heritage of the family strongly affects the fate of each descendant. This also includes a model of behavior in the family: the father sharply limited the mother in finances, reproached for wastefulness, now your friend repeats the model laid down.
  • Life for the distant future. Accumulating finances for the future, which will not be at all soon, such people forget about the present, which is already there.
  • Doesn't believe in your relationship or feelings. This usually happens at the beginning of an acquaintance, when the prospects are not yet determined and there is a risk. If the partner understands this reason, such relationships can become even shorter - she is rather unsightly.
  • Complexes and fears. There are people who will forever be afraid that the companion has feelings not for him, but for his - condition, status, advantages life together. If a person is confident in himself, he will not be afraid of it. But a person who does not have this, and he is already afraid of losing it, will not desire and share this (albeit non-existent) good. Potentially not.
  • In childhood, parents indulged the selfishness of their son. The last cake will never be yours, there is a habit that it is a favorite.
  • The most easily solved reason is a misunderstanding of the woman's hints. The easiest way to deal with this is to stop hinting and say your desire in plain text. Perhaps the satellite is not aware of this at all and is ready to instantly solve this problem. If the hint turned into a direct request, and the result is the same, it means that you are still unlucky and the diagnosis is fixed.

Is it possible to know in advance that you are dating a greedy man? Even at the stage of romantic meetings, you can check the attitude of a potential spouse towards money. For example, walking past a flower shop and hinting at your indifference to flowers. Or by the jewelry department - and admire the jewelry (as long as it is possible and inexpensive, this is a test mode of verification). If the gift is not received immediately, do not jump to conclusions that it is stingy. I didn’t hear, I didn’t understand, I didn’t have the required amount (you went for a walk in the park, not in the jewelry store). And only if time passes, tests are repeated, and your little dream lies in its place, and does not warm your soul, is it worth considering. In addition, sometimes appearance the chosen one pushes to such an opinion: worn clothes, shiny elbows, one sweater for all meetings.

How can this be changed?

How can a man's character be corrected if the partner is very greedy? What to do if a man is dear to you? There are a few tips for this.

The greedy man himself suffers from this. Psychology can alleviate the problem, but effective ways there is no fight against this quality. Either a person will cope on his own if a desire arises, or no one will be able to put this intention into consciousness. This is to some extent a diagnosis, and on the verge of a real illness - the inability to share. Probably, he will try to show love for his life partner in some of his own ways, but will it suit both parties.

And if you do not change - how to live on?

Your husband is mean. No divorce, no fix, you need to live on. How should wives behave when they are married to such a person? You will have to use all the female wisdom and patience and include a sense of humor. So, advice for women.

  • carefully and imperceptibly manage his desires and intentions. Avaricious people are characterized by a passionate desire to manage the financial flows in the family. So be it, or rather, so be it. Who will remember who actually came up with this or that great idea. Of course, this is the husband's idea - the main thing is to convince him of this with facts, arguments and indisputable evidence. Which surprisingly save the family budget;
  • the purchase of the desired item is carried out only after other, more expensive and less economical models have been demonstrated. The "cheap" option will be found as if by accident, after the zeros flash before the eyes of the unfortunate;
  • a woman in such a situation should be at least to some extent financially independent and have her own budget, on pins. This will save pride and allow you to at least occasionally enjoy an illegal chocolate bar or wear a blouse that “was already bought a long time ago, you just forgot.”

A woman will have to constantly show remarkable ingenuity in order to live with a man who counts pennies. A couple will be successful in which both are stingy, then there is no discomfort in the relationship.

Legends are composed about greedy men, poems are written (and far from pathetic odes), such people become characters in poems and novels (recall the famous Plyushkin from the famous novel by N.V. Gogol). Psychologists write dissertations about greedy men. It is worth remembering that in case of a serious violation, the help of a specialist is required. This is worth doing if the partner has not previously noticed such behavior.

If you started dating a young man and realized that among his characteristic features there is this, not the most pleasant feature, it remains only to determine for yourself whether it is worth continuing the relationship and where it will lead both of you in the end. Any dream is a generous man.

NATA CARLIN

It often happens to hear from women that their husband is a terrible miser. It’s embarrassing to tell them about this, because they are sure that this is a big one. A person who demands to be accountable for every penny spent loses his temper if a woman spends more than planned, does not command the respect of others. In addition, he does not understand that this shortcoming of his humiliates and insults his wife. A woman is unable to correct the situation, she does not have sufficient knowledge to make adjustments to her husband's behavior. There may be several reasons for this, respectively, and there are also many options for influencing a man.

If the husband is greedy: reasons

There are several reasons why the husband became greedy:

The husband's parents are very greedy people who presented their shortcomings to the child as a great virtue.

The logic is correct, but not correct.

The husband is saving up for a big purchase. If you know that your husband is saving up for a big purchase, do not make a scene about the fact that he has cheated you in some way. Perhaps later, he will give you more than you wanted to spend today.
Despot. A man who doesn’t have one is trying to make you a “beggar”, who begs a pretty penny with humiliation. It doesn’t matter to him at all whether you buy milk for a child or lipstick for this penny. The main thing is that he felt like a hero, they kowtowed before him!

Control. You marry the man who promises to turn your life into a fairy tale. Only he does not specify that you will find yourself in a terrible fairy tale. He allows you to graduate from college, then says that children should see their mother more often than kindergarten teachers. You quit your job, take care of the children in the firm belief that your husband knows his duties and will provide you with everything you need. No matter how! He will earn some money, but whether you get this money from him or not is a question! There are a lot of reasons not to give you money for a new blouse:

Why do you need her? You still don't go anywhere;
Who are you dressing up for if I love you anyway? So, while I'm at work, to you?
Tell me what you need, I'll go and buy it myself.

You can continue indefinitely! By the way, it is impossible to fix this type of men!

In other cases, it is possible to convince a person and prove to him that he is wrong.

So, what methods to influence the greedy husband? What to do if a person hides part of the salary or generally tries to avoid talking about money in the house.

If you want your husband to stop nitpicking about where the money goes, keep a diary where each page is dedicated to what you bought that day. In addition, collect checks and pin them to the page with.

After some time, you will have evidence that the money is not spent on your trinkets and shoes, but on the arrangement and maintenance of the family hearth.

You are the mistress of the house, who knows how much money you need to spend per month on groceries, how much public utilities, and which part to put aside for . Agree these amounts with your husband, and agree to put the rest in a piggy bank. The piggy bank can only be accessed in case of emergency. Leave money for yourself and your husband for personal expenses. Let you put less in the piggy bank, but it will be an emergency reserve.

Each to himself.

This option is suitable for those families in which there are no children yet. Husband doesn't like that you spend a lot? It is very easy to refute this claim. Notify the man that for the next month, each of you lives on your salary. No, you do not stop living together and loving each other. It's just an experiment! Most likely, your hero will surrender in ten days.

Joint efforts.

You have long decided that it is time to change the car for a new one. Take on the challenge of raising funds for this purchase. Show your husband that you care about the status of your family in society, no less than he does. Set aside every penny you find for a future purchase. Ultimately, the husband will understand that you can be trusted.

Rarely is it possible to re-educate an adult. This is especially true for a man who has had a stereotype in his head since childhood that all women are spenders. If you love this person, and do not want to part with him because of his lack, stock up on a lot of patience. Explain, talk, point out that he is not behaving correctly. Give examples from movies, books, and life stories. Just do not set an example for your friends and relatives. This will only piss off the man. After all, other families have their own problems.

March 1, 2014, 17:47

Among the weaker sex there are legends about male greed, passed down from generation to generation. A greedy man becomes a real problem for women different ages. You can meet a stingy old man hiding a ruble from an old woman under the bed. You can meet a boy in the kindergarten who does not share sweets with a girl.

What kind of man can be considered greedy

In order to avoid problems with the greed of a man in the future, you should pay attention to his behavior at the very beginning of the relationship. In relation to others, one can judge the passion for money and the manner of spending it.

Checking a person for greed is vile and inappropriate. It is possible and even necessary to understand the behavior of a guy about his stinginess. It is enough to recognize some signals at 1 date.

Signs of a greedy man:

  1. There is no desire to treat a lady with a hot drink on a walk. A cup of coffee or tea costs a penny, but this is an unheard of generosity for 1 date. The young man actively talks about how well he earns, trying to paint himself as a cherished groom. Or he is lying and he has no money. Living with such a person is no better than living with a greedy one. Or he is so stingy that he considers any pennies spent on a new girlfriend.
  2. During a date, greedy men may offer to split the bill in half. Sometimes even start a separate one for each, as soon as the waiter approaches you. There is something that a young man prefers, not a girl. It will be hard to live with such a guy, there are always 2 budgets, his and women's. This sign is masked by many by the "European standard".
  3. Tipping is a waste of money. If a man has such a trait as greed, he is stingy in relation to all the people around him. The guy tells how they walked with friends in the club, drank half the salary. But he is not capable of leaving a tip to the waiter, there is no money.
  4. On a visit to a girl with a bottle of wine and sweets, on romantic dinner by candlelight. For what? This is another waste of money, according to the miser. The girl can dodge and find money for wine and candles. A man would prefer to come to everything ready empty-handed.
  5. Gifts don't have to be expensive and fancy. A simple keychain or a teddy bear is enough as a sign of attention. The miser believes that only real gigolos can afford such expenses, and his girlfriend loves like that. Flowers are for mercantile girls who see only a wallet and benefits in a relationship.
  6. Honest costs - every man for himself. The greedy will prefer to pay not even in half, but only for himself beloved. If a woman needs a pot, cosmetics, groceries or household items. Since the girl uses all this, the guy does not need them, the woman buys the pan. He will regard the proposal to divide the expenses for the common life in half as an encroachment on hard-earned rubles.
  7. Savings at the expense of women's money. The meanest and most impudent thing that a person who loves only money can do is to exist at the expense of his woman. Not only that, a man does not pay utility bills and saves on household expenses as much as possible. He happily manages to draw up an estimate of his girlfriend's salary. His money is inviolable finances, a woman's salary should go to the development of the family and home. Some manage to support a mistress on his wife's money.
  8. Reports on each spending per day. For every penny, including a loaf and an electricity bill, the girl must report. The greed of a man knows no bounds. If the miser considers the costs unnecessary, a scandal may occur.
  9. Often there are phrases about love without money. Money can not buy happiness. Such phrases are the main weapon of a greedy person, they love him for who he is, and not for money. Otherwise, the woman turns out to be mercantile and of easy virtue, who is sold for rubles.

If a guy avoids any expenses both at the first time of dating and in further relationships, he can be safely considered greedy. Such signs emerge already at the first stage of acquaintance, you need to carefully look at your new friend.

Marriage or the birth of a child will not affect his miserly nature. With such a person, money will always be in 1st place. How to recognize a greedy man? It's easy, you need to watch his attitude towards people around him and, above all, towards children.

If the husband was stingy

A woman who has connected her life with a greedy guy needs to find out several options for the development of such a union. A father from a greedy man will not work, all financial costs will fall on women's shoulders. A woman will have to pull repairs and utility bills on her own.

If this is not enough for a girl, and she marries such a guy, then only she can help herself. Few psychologists, relatives or friends can convince a husband to change his views.

Beloved husband turned out to be stingy, but the woman categorically refuses to give up and decides to firmly bite her teeth into this marriage. It is necessary to clearly realize that a loved one, being married, will not improve.

There are no tricks or psychological tricks to get rid of greed. The wife will have a real war for her happiness with her beloved, long and painstaking. There is nothing harder in the world than trying to change another person.

Having assessed your emotional strength and taking a sober look at the situation in the family, you can get to work. Change should be slow and careful, step by step. Situations are different - a husband can save up for something expensive or he has problems with debts.

The roots of greed can go deep from childhood, when a mother told a little boy not to share with anyone. When parents every day told their son about saving finances. Also, negligent parents could instill in the guy the idea “Girls throw money into the wind.” This mental attitude is the hardest to work with.

How to deal with the greed of a man

There are several psychological tricks on how to overcome this quality in a man.

Sincere conversation

An open sincere conversation helps to convey the essence of the problem to a loved one. No need to be ashamed of your claims and grievances. A man is not a telepath and will not guess about the existing problem. Avaricious husbands cannot even understand why his wife is offended. Do not blame for stinginess and greed, the conversation should be calm and comfortable. Everyone can load and saw, but it will not bring any result. It will even make the situation worse.

Need money to spend

It is not easy to convey this idea to the male mind if his parents have hammered into him all his life: “Mine.” If a guy is saving, you need to find out what he is saving for and when he plans to buy it. Without a clear purpose, such accumulation can be called a mental disorder. If the goal is really worthwhile, you can help your husband by investing a little of your strength in his goal.

Family spending is a family matter

Often men argue that family finances go into the void, unnecessary female costs. To solve this problem, it is worth making an estimate of the necessary costs on the part of the wife and husband. To plan a general family budget.

Help from a psychologist

In extreme cases, you can contact family psychologist. There is nothing shameful and shameful in this, you just need to try together to solve the existing problem.

This means that you have come across a manipulator who cares only for his own comfort and his personal savings. It is impossible to encroach on men's money. But if the husband does not spend them on general coziness and comfort, many psychologists advise getting a divorce, it is very difficult to re-educate such a person.

Next to which women men are greedy

What kind of behavior can a woman attract a greedy man? With such guys, you can see those very notorious girls who are ashamed of their body and behavior in public.

Persons who do not yet fully understand the role of a man in a family and relationships, noodles on their ears “Money is not the main thing, the main thing is love!” hangs proudly for a long time. Such girls often call themselves the wife of a Decembrist - she is with him, no matter what, as long as her parents provide for her life.

It is difficult for girls to recognize a greedy man, because they have nothing to compare with. The psychology of a guy is not always easy and simple, but everyone wants to be in a pair. Parents teach girls to be faithful and beautiful in order to attract a worthy young man. Therefore, the girl says to everyone around: “My boyfriend saves!”, Instead of admitting to herself that greed goes beyond all limits.

Not everyone can test for greed. And if he decides, he asks to take her to the cinema or to a cafe. The stingy young man immediately changes in his face. He becomes depressed and broadcasts about the commercialism of a girl who sold out. Every woman wants to be good, faithful and loved, this is what a man gives her. And money is his personal.

Desperate women who dream of strong family and children. More often, the psychology of such women is driven by one idea to get married. A woman very much wants to get married, she does not care with whom and when.

The bride, inspired by the wedding, does not have time to think about her future fate. Male greed pops up after the wedding. Often, at the beginning of such a marriage, the wedding was arranged by relatives or the event was held at the expense of the woman.

Conclusion

Living with a greedy person is very difficult, sometimes even impossible. In relation to money, a man will always be more careful than to his wife or children. Any attempt to change a man ends in failure. Sooner or later, the wife leaves, taking the children and leaving the money so dearly loved to the man.

The article tells how to live with a greedy husband. It is described what are the reasons that a man becomes greedy, how to deal with greed, advice is given to those women who have chosen a greedy husband as their husband.

When a woman first meets a man, when she goes through a period of falling in love, she does not notice his negative qualities at all, everything around is perceived in pink color and this period can last for a long time.

Even if there are any errors, the woman thinks that if a man is only hers, then he will become perfect, all his shortcomings can be corrected.

But if a woman notices signs of greed before marriage, then you need to beware that in the future this quality does not become the reason for divorce. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to recognize a greedy man in the early stages of a relationship, because a real prudent person opens up much later, after he has won the feelings and affection of a woman.

Therefore, many are concerned about the question of how to live with a greedy husband while married. It is worth noting that some men show this quality rather quickly. They can carefully choose products in supermarkets, ask the price, pay attention to current promotions.

A woman should be very careful, because if the chosen one comes on a date empty-handed or does not invite you to the cinema, but prefers outdoor recreation, you should not rush to conclusions. Perhaps at the moment he is faced with a difficult financial moment, he may have lost his job, but he is afraid of losing his girlfriend, so he is afraid to save the relationship by all means.

Therefore, it is necessary to understand what greed is, what kind of property it is and why it arises. In fact, greed is one of the many character traits and can be inherent in both a woman and a man. But the husband perceives his wife's greed in a different way, he hands over the management of the family budget to her and rejoices that his chosen one is economical and economic.

If a woman hears the phrase, greedy husband, she immediately has a lot of negative emotions about this. These emotions arise because a woman believes that if a man is generous, then he loves and appreciates her, fulfills all her wishes, she thinks that for her beloved will be ready for anything.

When a woman hears about a greedy man, the following portrait is immediately drawn before her eyes: the man is quite magnificent forms, of course, with a cigarette in his mouth, who hides huge sums of money in his pockets, but at the same time regrets buying a small bouquet for his wife. He constantly thinks why buy flowers if they have to be thrown away anyway.

Interestingly, many women determine the value of love by the price of a gift, the more expensive they are, the stronger love. But this is an erroneous opinion, and reasoning in this way is absolutely unacceptable.

In fact, greed or stinginess are exceptional personal qualities that can be inherited. For example, you can watch the family members of this person, everything will immediately fall into place.

Not often this quality appears after a person has experienced a difficult childhood in material terms or he was given bad Education. It happens that personal qualities may depend on the location of the planets at the time of his birth, in other words, on the sign of the zodiac.

Psychologists distinguish the following types of greed:

  • Pathological greed, when a man constantly thinks that everything is not enough for him. The extreme degree of such greed is hoarding. Most often it is caused by insufficient attention in childhood.
  • Congenital greed, as mentioned above, was inherited by a man from his relatives.
  • Greed for others, but not for yourself. The husband does not follow how the wife looks and what she needs, he only worries about ensuring that all his needs are met.
  • Selective greed is a very difficult kind of greed, when the husband strictly controls every penny, and suddenly after a while it turned out that the husband has a mistress who absolutely does not need anything. Such a husband should be immediately abandoned, despite his good qualities.

In fact, it is very difficult for a woman to make a greedy man become generous, you can try to slightly correct this quality. There is one condition for this - a woman must love her husband very much.

After all, she married him because she noticed in him many good qualities that covered all the bad traits of character. Maybe he acts as a loving father and an attentive, caring man, a good lover.

Therefore, you should not focus your attention only on the material side, it is better to try to praise him for showing love and care for all family members. It is worth noting that the husband became greedy not in order to cause suffering to someone, you need to accept the fact that it is difficult for him to part with the money earned by his honest work.

Harmony and mutual understanding in the family will help to return only a frank conversation with her husband. You need to choose the right moment, a calm environment and tell him about your love, that relationships between a man are built not only on the principle of “take”, but also “take and give”. You also need to invite your husband to share his feelings and grievances with him.

He needs to be taught to share what he has. Let it be love, care and time devoted to their loved ones, while he needs to explain that sharing is not difficult at all. It is very important that this conversation does not turn into continuous claims, but ends with kisses and hugs.

It often happens that a man is stingy not only with money, but also with emotional emotions - warmth, affection and care. This also needs to be talked about, because it is rare to meet men who guess everything themselves.

He needs to show the border between where thrift goes, and where excessive stinginess, you can even shame him a little, let him be ashamed that a woman gives all her best to please him, and in return does not receive anything.

In no case should a woman tolerate the fact that her husband constantly shows his dissatisfaction with women who waste money earned by their husbands, and his wife is engaged in disinterested charity, washing his shirts, preparing impeccable dinners. She has the right to demand in full measure both going to a restaurant, and buying the things she needs, and even a pretty ring for her wedding anniversary.

When the stinginess of a man has spread to all family members, when the wife walks in the same boots for the third winter in a row, and the children do not see sweets for some time, at a time when the husband managed to buy himself a gun and an inflatable boat, then it is worth considering whether there is such family understanding and love. In most cases, such a person loves only himself, and only cares about himself.

There are also types of men who are afraid to make various expenses because they are worried about being left without money at all. In this case, the woman should also act wisely, distributing the family budget clearly.

You can purchase several envelopes and put on them the inscriptions "Food", "Repair", "Black Day" and so on. Then he will be sure that the Black Day envelope will not be opened unnecessarily.

It is also necessary to know that stinginess of incredible proportions cannot be cured by ordinary talk or means, like a cold. Only the help of a real specialist will be appropriate in this case.

Aug 11, 2015 tigress…s