How does childhood influence personality development? Comes from childhood: how childhood affects our lives How bad parenting affects a person’s life

In the texts for preparing for the exam in the Russian language, there are often problems related to education. We have combined them in this work, selecting literary arguments for each problematic issue. All these examples from books can be downloaded in table format (link at the end of the article).

The problem of childhood and its role in the formation of a person's personality is clearly displayed in the novel. I.A. Goncharov "Oblomov". Reading about the childhood of Ilya Ilyich Oblomov, we begin to understand why this hero behaves this way in adulthood. In their native Oblomovka, everyone did nothing but eat and lie down, everything in their native estate breathed serene laziness. Mother protected little Ilyusha, he grew up like delicate flower. And so Ilya Oblomov grew up as an idle, completely unadapted person who could not even dress himself.
The significance of the childhood period in the development of a person's personality is shown in "Dead Souls" N.V. Gogol. Throughout the entire work, the reader gradually recognizes Pavel Ivanovich Chichikov. And a kind of completion of the disclosure of the image becomes a description of children's and youthful years hero. The father teaches the boy to save a penny, to please the bosses. Young Pavel listens to his father and puts his orders into practice. Chichikov, deprived of many benefits in childhood, seeks by all means to catch up and get everything from life. It is in the childhood of the character that we find the roots of his adventurous nature.

The problem of fathers and children

A textbook example of the disclosure of the problem of relationships between generations can be a novel I.S. Turgenev "Fathers and Sons". Arkady Kirsanov and Yevgeny Bazarov represent the camp of "children", in opposition to them are the Kirsanov brothers (Nikolai and Pavel), who represent the camp of "fathers". Bazarov brings new moods of youth, nihilism. And the old people, especially Pavel Petrovich Kirsanov, do not understand the ideas of denial. The main problem is that the characters do not want to understand each other. And this is the main conflict of generations: the inability and unwillingness to accept and hear each other.
Tragically reveals the theme of relationships between generations in the drama A.N. Ostrovsky "Thunderstorm". The boar has long subjugated everyone in her house to her will, she does not even realize that her children are suffering. Daughter Barbara has long learned to lie and be hypocritical, she has adapted to life in the house of the Kabanikhi. Tikhon wants to escape from the house where his mother runs everything. There is no understanding or respect between mother and children. They are in different opposing camps, only the struggle of the "children" does not come to the surface. Varvara's rebellion in her double life: she says one thing to her mother, thinks and does another. Tikhon decides to say his word after Katerina's suicide, and until that moment he will strive to get out of the house that is suffocating him. The conflict of "fathers" and "children" leads to suffering on both sides.

family problem

M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin in his novel The Golovlevs clearly showed how the specifics of upbringing within the family is reflected in the future life of already grown-up children. Arina Petrovna Golovleva is a mother, she divides children into hateful and favorites, gives them nicknames, which eventually crowd out their names. Children live from hand to mouth, although the estate is quite rich. None of the children of Arina Petrovna grew up in such conditions into a decent person: Stepan, the eldest son, squandered his fortune and returned to Golovlevo at the age of forty, daughter Anna ran away with a hussar, who soon disappeared, leaving a girl with two children, Pavel drinks, Porfiry (Judas) grows up as a cruel, petty person. No one became happy, because there was no happiness and love since childhood.
French writer François Mauriac in "The Monkey" shows how cruelly relationships within the family can affect the life and worldview of the child. The heroine hates her husband, she transfers this feeling to the child because of her unfulfilled hopes. Little Guillou, whom his mother calls "Monkey" grows up in an atmosphere of constant scandals, tantrums, and cruelty. He understands that he interferes with his mother, he is not needed here. And the child commits suicide. In the family of an aristocratic family, de Sernay did not care about the boy, he was a “bone of contention”, the cause of conflicts, and therefore the ending of the story is so tragic.

Right and Wrong Education

L.N. Tolstoy in his epic novel "War and Peace" draws several families. The Rostov family can be considered one of the exemplary ones. Rostov's mother brings up feelings of kindness and justice in her children. They grow up as decent people, ready for a feat, self-sacrifice. In the Kuragin family, completely different values were invested in the upbringing of offspring, therefore both Helen and Anatole are immoral inhabitants of high society. So, Helen marries Pierre only for his money. Thus, what kind of values are invested in the upbringing of children depends on what kind of people they grow up to be.
In the novel "The Captain's Daughter" A.S. Pushkin the father bequeaths to his son Peter Grinev to protect honor from a young age. These words become a guide for Peter. He checks his every step according to this main testament of his father. That is why he gives a rabbit sheepskin coat to a stranger, does not kneel before Pugachev, remaining true to himself to the end, for which the rebel respects Grinev, leaving him alive. So, thanks to proper upbringing, the hero was able to remain a highly moral and decent person during the terrible peasant revolt.

The problem of parental responsibility for the fate of children

DI. Fonvizin in the comedy "Undergrowth" showed how parents themselves raise stupid, ignorant, spoiled children on their estates. Mitrofanushka is used to the fact that everything in this life revolves around him: the best caftan, and the teachers were chosen so as not to tire the child, and the bride you want. Mrs. Prostakova understands the mistake of her upbringing only at the end of the work, when her native Mitrofanushka tells her: “Yes, get rid of it, mother, how it was imposed ...”.
A.S. Griboyedov in the play "Woe from Wit" using the example of Molchalin, he shows how the covenants of parents are reflected in the character of a person. The father taught Molchalin to seek profit everywhere, and the son, having learned the advice of a parent, enters life as a pragmatic, cunning person. He silently endures Famusov's neglect, plays love with his daughter Sophia, and all this for the sake of one goal - career advancement. The author demonstrates that such people appear for a reason, their nature is formed in childhood under the strict guidance of their parents.

Hello! Today is about children, about the importance of the consciousness of parents, about 4 factors influencing the fate of a child.

For a child, relationships with parents are very important, parents for a small child, a baby, are like God, they are authority, he absorbs everything without judgment, like a sponge, like a blotter, perceives everything as it is, he still does not have a separation, is it bad, is it good parents what something they say, they do, it absorbs everything as it is, everything is recorded in the unconscious. Mommy and daddy are the best, they are an example! Moreover, through this prism of relations with parents, he builds his relations with the Divine Father and Mother, with God, and so he begins to perceive them. If he feels that his mom and dad love him, then, growing up and revealing his worldview, he will feel that he is loved and led by the Higher powers, there will be trust, if there is fear, distrust in the family, he feels that he is not needed, just the same is transferred to the world, to people, to the relationship with God, you need to be afraid of Him and do something so that you do not punish, and not out of love for Him ...

Now a lot is said about the fact that the garden, school, street spoils children, but in fact, the most important role here is played primarily by parents - mom and dad. Parents now maim their children more than anything or anyone! This is sad…

Why? Simply because there is no knowledge, a lot of scenarios and traumas that are inherited from their parents, they are also their children. And so on, until at least one in the family wakes up and consciously begins to see and work out his attitudes and scenarios that are stored in the unconscious and guide his life.

And if this is about you?! Mom or dad, future or present, and want you and your children to be truly happy and successful, the first thing is to work on yourself first. Leo Tolstoy once came to the conclusion: Education seems to be a complex and difficult matter only as long as we want, without educating ourselves, to educate our children or anyone else. If you understand that we can educate others only through ourselves, then the question of education is abolished, and one question of life remains: how should one live?

What actually affects the fate of the child? There are four main factors, and you will be surprised, few people think about it in our time, although until recently all this was the norm in Rus', in the East.

So, 1 factor: the consciousness of the parents at the time of conception.

This is the very first important factor! The state of mind of the future mom and dad is very important! If they conceive a child in an alcoholic dope, then, excuse me, what they wanted, then they got it, if a woman is offended by her husband, in fear, this will also affect, etc.

Conception is a sacred act, when the soul enters the womb of a woman through the seed of a man, which soul will be attracted depends on the consciousness of the parents at the moment. If you want good healthy beautiful children, you need to be in a blessed, happy state, even prayerful, to call the soul out of love from the abundance of the inner state. Build a healthy, trusting, sincere relationship with your husband and wife, love each other. There is much to be said here. And yes, the soul comes at the moment of conception, and abortion, even at an early stage, is murder!

2nd factor: mother's consciousness during pregnancy.

The child lives everything that the mother lives. Writhes in pain if mother eats too salty, sweet, bitter food. The mental body of the baby is destroyed by the negative emotions of the mother. I'm not talking about smoking alcohol, everything is clear, I hope. Therefore, the atmosphere in which the mother lives, her mood, her attitude to everything that happens, her reactions, her relationship with her husband is important. Everything the child absorbs.

3 Factor: an example of parents up to 7 years.

What parents show, what experience of love they give, the atmosphere, behavior, thoughts, actions, what an example they give to a child under 7 years old. Until the age of 7, the first center opens - the muladhara chakra, or the root of life, the entire life force of the child in the first chakra, the main emotion is fear, "I appeared in an unfamiliar world, I am afraid, because they feel that I am not from here, not my world, alien, I am spiritual, the world is material." In a good way, the child should from the first moment begin to experience unconditional love. That is, it is important how a child is born, how they are received immediately, with what attitude, now in maternity hospitals more often they immediately inject something, take something out, the atmosphere of nervousness, violence, etc., is excommunicated from the mother for a long time. And all you need is a mother, her love! A child, like a blotter, absorbs everything from the atmosphere in the house at a subtle level. If you had a fight, even if he was not at home, and you pretend that everything is fine, he came and counted all these emotions and was saturated with them, everything was recorded.

And only in 4th place is the factor: the child's own karma from a past life. What he came into this life with his lessons.

IN ancient Rus', Vedic, it has always been believed that first spouses must create relationships with each other, a space of unconditional love, and only then do they receive the moral right to conceive a son or daughter.

Now people meet in passion and ignorance, in a state of incompleteness, complexes, misunderstanding of themselves, others, no contact with themselves, no relationship, they conceive it is not clear how, and, as a result, the world is full of unwanted children. The world of unhappy and unsuccessful, unloved, crying, wounded children.

A child is a gift from the Almighty, it is not a by-product of sex, it is a responsibility, he came to us for love, to teach you unconditional love as mom and dad, to take care of him as a person, to help him become real, to understand Who He, where He comes from, and where He goes, and why all this. And for this we need to understand first: "... How should one live?"

…where the living heart is…

Thank you for attention!

Psychologists say - all problems from childhood ...

Events that occur in childhood can have a huge impact on the child and his future destiny. They are involved in shaping the character of a growing person. Joyful impressions of childhood give strength and inspiration. The benevolent attitude of parents is remembered on the subconscious and helps to creative disclosure of personality. Negative memories can develop insecurity and complexes, aggression and reticence. The main thing is to know exactly what events are the cause of failures in adulthood. Psychologists have described 12 main factors of childhood that affect the rest of a person's life.

Moms take note!

Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me, but I’ll write about it))) But I have nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too ...

If parents do not recognize an independent personality in a child, do not take into account his desires and aspirations and make all decisions themselves, then this can lead to him growing up helpless. Such children suffer from their own lack of will and are dependent on the opinions of others. It is important for parents to learn to trust the actions of their children. It is wrong to consider the baby helpless and in need of permanent councils.
If a boy is raised by a loving and caring father, with whom the son has a close emotional connection, then such a baby will grow up to be a real man, able to build healthy and fulfilling relationships with the opposite sex. Dads who have soul contact with their sons can teach warm feelings for a woman, sensitivity, compassion, attention and kindness. This can be the key to a happy family life boy in the future we read: ).
Constant parental supervision in childhood can lead to the fact that children grow up stubborn. For them, stubbornness is a defense mechanism with which they try to resist the decisions of their parents. Growing up, they do not lose this trait.
If a child watches TV too much, it can lead to suppression of his communication skills in the future. Psychologists recommend watching TV no more than two hours a day. The rest of the time it is desirable to spend on communication, reading, drawing or joint games.
If a child is allowed to watch programs in childhood that contain scenes of violence, then this can lead to the development of aggressive character traits and various mental disorders in the future, because. children involuntarily copy the behavior of the characters and remember this model as normal.
If children imitate their parents, copying their behavior and actions, they grow up open to communication. They have sociability and easily share their opinions with others without experiencing difficulties in dialogue.
If a child is often punished, he may grow up secretive. Such children, in order not to get caught, will try to outwit or hide the results of their bad behavior, which can lead to the development of such negative character traits as stubbornness and vindictiveness. We also read: to punish or not a child for random misconduct? —
If parents suffer from addictions to alcohol or use drugs, then their children are more likely to grow up serious and responsible. They are often deprived of childhood and become parents themselves for their unlucky father or mother.
Psychological trauma of childhood can lead to obesity in the future.
Child abuse can lead to depression and depression later in life. These conditions are observed in such children twice as often. We also read:
If a child grows up in poverty, then in the future he may have problems with short-term memory. This memory plays a huge role in daily activities and in the formation of long-term memories, as it is associated with the ability to remember several events at the same time.
If parents separate when their children are aged 3-5 years, then the further life of such children is characterized by tense relations with their parents, especially with their father.

good parent By raising a child, educating yourself! Therefore, sometimes they say that children bring up their parents.

Everything ingenious is simple - this is also true for education! The main principles are love, personal example, consistency - just great tips in articles on raising an "ideal" person! At the same time, it is necessary to know not only general recommendations, but also the influence of parenting style on the emergence of both desirable and unforeseen character traits.

Secrets of SUCCESSFUL Parenting

The same parenting style in relation to children with different psychotypes also forms completely different character traits. That is why those parents who think that by adhering to some kind of rigid upbringing scheme (albeit an experienced teacher), one can get a predictable result, fail. Education is a constant creative process of interaction between parents, educators, teachers, surrounding adults, and children. The socio-historical period in which a person was born and develops is also important.

The basis of personality, of course, is laid in the family. Further, the child in society strings his personal life experience on this basis, sometimes conflicting with the attitudes that are laid down in the family and declared by the media.

Harmony is a balance of internal attitudes, attitudes, beliefs with what is happening in the family, at work, in the country, in the world! Therefore, our movement forward is a search for balance, including in education.

Children differ from adults in that they act impulsively and directly. This main feature a healthy and trusting preschool child.

If this does not happen, then most likely there is an unfavorable situation in the family, internal conflict (problems) of both or one of the parents, scandals, inconsistent upbringing of the child, reinforcement of individualism and selfishness, money-grubbing, ignoring the opinions of all family members alone, suppression of the child’s initiative, poor discipline, disorganized leisure, or, on the contrary, lack of free time in children due to excessive training load and overprotection, excessive control over every step.

In early childhood, the baby does not know how to express his own emotions, therefore, reflects the emotions of the people around him. Thus, if the unique system of relations between the child and the environment is regulated by positive emotions, then it is obvious that the motive of desire for joy will become the norm for him. And this is exactly what parents want for their children - happiness in life!

Let's now look at a few parenting styles that are possible in a family. This will help you understand more specifically how our relationships prevent the child from optimally adapting in society. What you need to try to change in the family and in yourself in order to develop your child as a healthy and positive person. A good parent, raising a child, educates himself! Therefore, sometimes they say that children bring up their parents.

Parenting styles and their impact on adult life

"Detached Parenting Style"

Perhaps the absence of a head in the family, shifting their parental responsibilities to educators, teachers, inability or unwillingness to orient and support the child for successful activities, constant voicing of complaints by parents about hard life. This style of parenting can form a person with low self-control, low self-esteem, inability to learn from a problem situation, inability to manage oneself in difficult situations.

Conclusion: it is necessary to clearly allocate roles in the family, duties between family members, including the child, we monitor their implementation, explain to the child what “necessary” means, stop “whining” and scaring the child with difficulties.

"Parental Parenting Style"

Directive parenting style, where the child is completely formed under the influence of the parents' attitudes and control over their implementation. Common in patriarchal social societies, considered conservative. Forms, as a rule, good performers who strive for achievements through development, possessing strong-willed qualities.

At the same time, if the child is sensitive, with basic anxiety, then this parenting style can lead to nervous breakdowns and unconscious negative reactions, aggression. If the performer finds himself in a leadership position, then it happens that he is extremely impulsive and unpredictable due to constant stress, because it is difficult for him to make an independent decision.

Conclusion: trying to understand why we educate this way? Is it an imitation parental family, or the fastest way to get the appearance of order, regularity, which means there is a reason to sort out your fears and goals. In any case, you should not expect happy laughter and high achievements from a child with such a parenting style.

"Rejected in a large family."

The upbringing of a personality in a large family with a general friendly environment, high income, but a lack of understanding of the child and preference for brothers and sisters by the parents is manifested in the child's opposition of his interests in relation to the rest of the family. It forms an enterprising personality in resolving conflict situations, and if the child is inquisitive, sensitive and manageable, then it is very focused on positive social values. However, in a difficult problematic situation, it cannot withstand high stress loads, and breakdowns are possible.

Conclusion: in a large family, we distribute attention and support, if possible, according to age and equally.

"Depressive states against the background of financial problems"

Being raised by parents showing depressed mood and conflicting over financial issues. Forms a manifestation of the desire for self-affirmation without the ability to manage oneself in difficult life situations.

Conclusion: improving the general culture of communication, joint search for solutions to financial problems. Even if there is no reason for fun, the child does not have to share adult problems with parents. Otherwise, grow antisocial; personality.

"Maternal education with elements of indulgence"

Suppresses the strong-willed qualities of the child. Forms a child's passivity, not the ability to realistically assess their desires and capabilities. Great claims to the world.

Conclusion: give the child more independence, such as choosing clothes for a walk, asking about food preferences, etc. where independent decision-making is supported on the basis of desires (without fanaticism). Mom deal with their fears, the reasons for distrust of the world.

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"Liberal parenting style"

The child is allowed to express his desires as much as possible, with the exception of life-threatening situations. Forms a vivid manifestation of feelings, moods, thoughts. Demonstrative type with a desire for self-affirmation. He exaggerates any negative situation and reacts very emotionally and painfully to it. There may be a lack of understanding of personal and social boundaries in the child. It will be difficult for him to resolve problems without conflict, which can lead to non-constructive forms of behavior.

Conclusion: reasonable boundaries are still needed. Parents need to express their emotions and opinions where the child violates the boundaries of others.

"Education by Corporal Punishment"

Manifested in the passivity and manageability of the individual. Easily follows the lead of another stronger person both physically and mentally. If by nature the child has leadership inclinations, then it becomes very aggressive towards the weaker ones.

Conclusion: stop violence before we turn a child into a potential perpetrator. If parents love each other, even with a low income, then the personality of the child is formed with a focus on self-development, high achievements, self-realization.

These are just examples, as you understand, there can be a lot of options. You probably noticed from the styles described above that Personality formation is most influenced by such factors as:

Family structure: complete or incomplete, several children or one, here we can add that the presence of the older generation in education has a positive meaning. In working with clients, it is one of the resources for restoring a whole and successful personality after crisis periods in life, since grandparents are less critical of their grandchildren than parents and the child, feeling unconditional love, retains a sense of acceptance of his personality for the rest of his life, even if he forgets about it. Therefore, a kind, wise nanny for a baby, communication with an elderly good neighbor, if there are no grandmothers, is highly desirable.
Conflict resolution methods and their types: avoidance, aggression, conversation, indifference, complaints…
Formation of independence: overprotection or, on the contrary, indifference.
Participation of family members in the control over the child: it is best if the roles are distributed in this matter: for example, mom controls the implementation of sanitary and hygienic procedures, and dad is in order in the children's territory.
Methods of punishment: the consequences of violence are described above, an adequate punishment is commensurate with the misconduct, for example, if a child breaks a cup, then simple regret and explanation are enough, and not violent indignation, because the child himself is upset because of awkwardness. This is how trust is formed when the baby knows that he will always be supported and understood in the family!

Trust between family members creates a safe environment for the formation of personality, a sense of support for any undertakings in the future.

Conclusion: we love each other, have more than one child. Average income is quite enough to raise a successful person. The main thing, as it was said at the beginning of the article: learn to love and be consistent!published .

Erika Kartveli

Modern psychology attaches great importance to the process of growing up and education. After all, it is during infancy that a person lays down many programs that will guide him in life in the future.

Instruction

Assimilation of the principles of the adult world begins from birth. The child, not yet able to walk and talk, understands perfectly well what is at stake. He absorbs not words, but the reaction of parents to some things. For example, the relationship between mom and dad becomes the standard for later life. Their behavior will change later, but it is worth looking at them when the baby is not yet walking and seeing what kind of family the baby will build in the future.

In childhood, many psychological traumas occur, for example, fear, deep resentment, which affect a person’s whole life. Having experienced this once, he will no longer be able to think like before. For example, the divorce of parents, the death of one of the relatives can be such a moment. Because of this, a huge guilt is formed in the soul, a feeling of abandonment, which will manifest itself in various aspects of life.

At a very young age, attitudes towards money are formed. Even before a person receives his first ruble, he will see and understand what his mother thinks and feels about this. If she has a fear of money, she considers it evil and a threat to security, then her descendant will definitely receive the same attitude. It may not be obvious, but remain in the subconscious, but if such an attitude exists, then there will still not be much money in the life of an adult person. There is a transfer of generic energy, which interferes with realization. You can find out about its presence at psychological trainings or at an appointment with a specialist.

In childhood, the attitude to work is formed. If the kid is constantly busy, he has duties around the house, then he grows up hardworking. He has an understanding of the need to do something in order to be successful. If the child is pampered, protected from work, then in a few years he himself will avoid it most different ways. There are many examples when a family tried not to burden their child, and then they had to feed him until old age, because he did not want to do something himself.

Certain occupations also form responsibility. If a child takes care of animals, helps in the upbringing of younger children, he begins to understand that this creature depends on him. In the future, this will help build relationships in the family, with their own kids. At the same time, the girl learns to show maternal qualities, while the man begins to realize his strength, takes upon himself the protection of the weak. The absence of such experience deprives a person of the possibility of realizing that others need guardianship, are helpless.

A child usually perceives much better not what adults tell him, but what he sees himself. He takes an example from those people who live nearby. All the images received in childhood form the worldview. And it will have an attitude to the most different things, and even those that the parents never mentioned.

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