Education in fear. Excessive maternal anxiety
Psychoanalytically oriented therapist
Anxiety for a child is a feeling familiar to every mother. At first glance, everything seems to be very clear - the mother is worried about the child. But often mothers, behind maternal anxiety, mean completely different things from a psychological point of view.
If you listen to moms and read the relevant forums, you will notice that many women talk about anxiety, but according to the description, it is more likely to look like intense fear, guilt, or even the symptoms resemble a panic attack. And this is not surprising.
If you think about it, anxiety is a kind of danger signal, often a situational emotion that seems to say “something is wrong.” And after some time after its occurrence, anxiety may disappear if the situation is resolved, but it can develop further and turn into fear, panic, despair or something else.
Anxiety is normal
Anxiety is an unpleasant emotion, but at the same time absolutely normal for every mother. We can say that this is a kind of mechanism aimed at protecting the child. Worrying about your child helps you prevent dangers. Anxiety makes the mother sensitive to the physical and psychological state of the child.From birth, the mother is, as it were, “tuned” to the baby, like an antenna that picks up the most subtle signals. A small child cannot show where it hurts, talk about his condition, and the mother listens in alarm, peers at her baby to understand if everything is okay with him, and what she should do in case of this or that problem.
Anxiety helps the mother, for example, not to miss the child’s illness and to help him. Mothers are worried and take their children to the doctor, dress them warmly in cold weather, feed them good food, get up at night to see a crying baby... So maternal anxiety is generally a useful and necessary feeling in parent-child relationships.
The emotion of anxiety in itself is not pleasant; it puts the mother into mobilization mode, when all body systems are under tension, so anxiety takes up a lot of energy resources. But at the same time, when the disturbing problem is solved, the anxiety goes away along with it.
Another point is environmental conditions. Some psychoanalysts notice that modern mothers are much more anxious and restless than representatives of the older generation. There may be many internal factors, but the external situation also plays an important role.
At every stage, even from the moment of pregnancy, a modern woman may experience a feeling of anxiety. Screenings, choosing a maternity hospital, establishing breastfeeding, different stages in a child’s development.
We now live in a world in which there are many points of view on the same issue. If you listen to the older generation, you can understand that our mothers and grandmothers lived in a more “unambiguous” world.
Now women have a huge responsibility to navigate a contradictory world where there are many different answers to the same question. This is especially alarming when it comes to the health and development of a child.
Childbirth at home or in the hospital, just breastfeeding, breastfeeding with a bottle or just a bottle, or the very painful question of whether or not to vaccinate, etc.
For every important issue, there are several “camps,” and mom has to use her head, intuition, decide which expert to trust, and at the same time, she most likely will not be completely sure that she made the right choice.
For example, the situation. The child is sick, and two doctors prescribe different treatment regimens and different medications, and there is also a friend who believes that it is better to be treated with homeopathy. As a result, all responsibility for the choice falls on the mother, who in this situation cannot help but feel anxious.
Anxieties are also fueled by the media, which constantly broadcast stories about kidnappings, pedophilia, abuse of children in kindergartens and schools, and much more. So the modern mother has something to worry about. And more often than not, her anxiety will be completely justified and will help protect the child. But there is a line beyond which anxiety goes beyond the norm, and we’ll talk about this further.
When anxiety is excessive
So, anxiety is normal if it is essentially constructive. It helps solve problems, it takes energy, but overall it does not interfere with life, it helps the mother take care of the child and protect him from external dangers. But often the anxiety is excessive, and it brings little benefit to both mother and child.Thus, many anxious mothers talk about how they constantly scroll through scary “pictures” in their heads, situations of all sorts of dangers that threaten their child. And here, rather, we are no longer talking about anxiety, but about constant, often causeless fear that interferes with life.
There is anxiety that the child will get sick, that something will happen to him, there is anxiety about leaving the child with a nanny or grandmother, anxiety about the child’s future, etc. The child gets sick, and the mother feels anxiety, and then fear, and panic, and helplessness, and despair.
The mother lives in a mode of constant mobilization of resources, she is always in tension, because something is about to happen, and it is very difficult to get rid of this obsessive state, because the brain constantly draws pictures of terrible danger.
Mothers can be in constant fear and irritation, which will deprive them of energy, they can lash out at loved ones, and overprotect and control their children. It’s bad for the mother, it’s bad for the child, who cannot help but feel the mother’s constant anxiety and lives in a world where anxiety is a constant background.
Separately, we need to talk about excessive anxiety, which turns into panic and corresponding somatic symptoms, that is, tachycardia, stomach problems, obsessive states, panic attacks, etc. appear.
In this case, when the condition is severe, there are physical symptoms, and you feel that you cannot cope emotionally, you need to consult a psychiatrist, psychotherapist or psychologist.
How to cope with anxiety
There is no recipe for how to cope with anxiety. Anxiety disappears by itself when the danger goes away. For example, a child has a fever, the mother is anxious, she calls a specialist who prescribes treatment, the problem begins to be solved, and with it the anxiety goes away.If you tend to sometimes fall into an anxious state, you can listen to yourself and understand what helps.
But the methods mentioned are unlikely to help if you have high anxiety or initially, from the moment the child is born, there are a lot of internal fears and tensions that do not go away and interfere with your life. Then we can say that maybe it’s not just a matter of concern for the child. Maybe a child is something like a “channel” into which anxiety flows, which is initially so much inside.
That is, for some reason, initially there is strong anxiety, and this interferes. In this case, you need to contact a psychologist. In therapy, you can better understand what is happening to you, in what situations anxiety develops, what fears are behind it, it will be possible to understand the original causes of your condition, find ways to relieve and overcome anxiety.
So, maternal anxiety is a normal feeling inherent in nature, but in large quantities it can become a problem.
Normally, anxiety goes away when the situation perceived as dangerous goes away. Anxiety doesn't have to define all your feelings and behavior. If you feel that there is too much anxiety, you can’t stand it, it takes up too many resources and interferes with your life, seek psychological help. After all, a child needs a psychologically healthy and prosperous mother for normal relationships and development.
When a baby appears in the house, the family is faced with fundamental changes in their lifestyle, habits, and routine. New difficulties, problems and questions arise, and with them new concerns.
Young mothers are more susceptible to anxiety attacks for their baby. This is due to changes in hormonal levels after childbirth, physical and emotional stress. In addition, the mother spends more time with the child and is responsible for him.
It’s absolutely normal to worry about your baby and his upbringing, but what to do if fear poisons your life? He is capable of exhausting and nullifying all the pleasure of being with the child. The body, already experiencing significant stress, may even respond to this with illness and insomnia.
The fear of harming the baby can appear even in the hospital room. No matter how much she wants, a woman does not yet know all the intricacies of handling a child. You also need to learn how to be a mother.
How to feed, swaddle, bathe - you only know from theory. There is something to worry about. From the many “I can’t, I don’t know,” numerous “I’m afraid” arise.
These are the shortest fears, because the mother quickly gets used to feeding and holding the baby, begins to feel why he is crying and how he can be calmed down. But in the first days after childbirth, such fears can significantly complicate life.
While the woman is in the maternity hospital, you can ask the staff and roommates, among whom there are experienced mothers, about everything that worries you. How to take a baby, how to swaddle him, how best to breastfeed, etc. It was in the maternity hospital that all fears of this kind arose and disappeared. When people with experience tell and often show how to properly handle a baby, it becomes much calmer.
For this reason, at home, many young mothers prefer to have another woman nearby - their grandmother. But you must admit that this is not always possible and useful for the family. It is enough if she just visits you.
Do not refuse to visit a visiting nurse if this is provided in your clinic. This will relieve fears that the child will suddenly get sick, worries about heat rash, tone, healing of the umbilical wound and many others. I am still grateful to the nurse - an “old school” woman who came and announced that everything was fine. “And in general, did you eat it yourself?” - she completed the examination. - “Well, eat quickly and don’t forget to rest, the child needs a healthy and cheerful mother, not a shaking chicken!”
When you have someone nearby, even if not all the time, who exudes confidence, this is very important. The young mother often misses her. Therefore, if you are tormented by fears, stick to confident people, listen to professionals and those who say that everything is fine.
Many mothers are afraid to bathe their baby. You can do this first together with a more experienced person, gradually taking the initiative into your own hands. As soon as you see that everything is working out no worse for you, the anxiety will no longer be so obvious.
Fears of becoming a bad mother
This conditional category includes anxiety about not delivering something to the child, or doing something wrong. Several advisers immediately appear who contradict each other, mom reads various techniques, the recommendations of which diverge and fear begins to grow.To overcome such fear, you need to accept yourself. No one can be perfect and follow all the advice at the same time. Choose for yourself the technique that you like, you can diversify it with something, but don’t try to do everything. This will not benefit either the mother or the child.
The same applies to household chores. Highlight for yourself the main responsibilities that need to be completed, create a rough daily routine. While your baby is sleeping, try to rest. If you iron one diaper that you need right now, and not a heap, you definitely won’t become a bad mother and housewife. If you don’t wash the dishes because the baby is naughty, and sleep when he finally calms down, this will also be right, because the baby’s mood depends on the mother’s well-being.
"Unclear" fears
Very often our fears are half-conscious. I had a fear: “something will happen to the child.” And often mothers are visited by just such an incomprehensible anxiety, which seems to have nothing to do with anything, but can ruin their sleep and poison joyful moments with their baby.Try to take some time to think about what exactly you are afraid of. When the experience takes on a more concrete form, it is easier to deal with it. Perhaps the basis of fear is not one experience, but several. You will have to work with each of them separately.
In my case, fear was decomposed into components - “I’m afraid that the child will become seriously ill,” “I’m afraid of sudden death syndrome,” “I’m afraid that he will fall.”
In the first two cases, studying the literature and consulting a local pediatrician helped. When you know the likelihood of a certain situation occurring, and your first actions in this case, it becomes easier.
With the last fear everything turned out to be even easier. While my son was very small, I placed an armchair or chair in front of the sofa, and when he grew up, I laid out the mattress. You can protect both yourself and your child from many accidents by using various precautions.
If you are afraid that the baby will hit you, use corner covers; if you are worried that he will stick his hand through the bars of the grill, use the sides. Plugs for sockets and door stops can also be good helpers in the fight against fear. When we are able to do something to prevent danger, we feel calmer.
Fear that something is wrong with the child
After six months, another fear appears - “what if the child is developmentally delayed?” The comparison of the child begins with the “standard” from the book or another baby. Here, as in the case of a medical reference book, “symptoms of the disease” will definitely be found. As a rule, authors write average indicators for children of a given age. After a month, the child can not only catch up, but also overtake his peers, and then “lag behind” in some ways.It’s better to look at a “smart” book to get your bearings, remove all the words in it: “the child owes” and understand that he doesn’t owe anything to anyone. Children develop differently. My son was not yet a year old - he liked to crawl. This also caused fears and anxieties, but it turned out that it was simply more convenient for the child.
If you cannot overcome the fear, of course, it is better to show the baby to a specialist. This will dispel most of the parents' concerns and obtain additional useful information.
Fear of becoming unattractive
One cannot ignore experiences that are not directly related to the life and health of the child. The fear of losing one's attractiveness after such fundamental changes in the body and one's own life is common to many women.Some people are very worried that they will never be the same as they were before the birth of the child. And this is true, you won’t be able to become “the same.” You don't worry about never being a teenager again. There have been physical and emotional changes, they must be accepted. And this does not mean at all that you have become unattractive and uninteresting.
It is difficult for a woman with a child in her arms to find time for herself, but it is worth doing. Our awareness of our own attractiveness depends not only on our appearance, but also on the efforts that we “put into ourselves.” Become beautiful for yourself now. Buy shower gel with a pleasant aroma, beautiful home clothes, pamper yourself with masks at least sometimes.
Walking briskly with a stroller is not a bad exercise, nor is rocking a child to sleep. If time and condition permit, add small physical activity. This will calm you down, invigorate you and make you feel that everything depends on you.
In this case, the husband’s attitude plays a big role; share your concerns with him and ask for support.
How to deal with fears as a young mother
Let's summarize. Worrying about your baby is absolutely normal. Anxiety in yourself cannot be simply suppressed. They often say: “be joyful, calm, drive away bad thoughts.” But where will you drive them out? Back in the head and hidden in a distant drawer so that it all ends in a nervous breakdown and nightmares? Nature initially built into a woman a mechanism of fear for her offspring. The baby will grow, and the mother's fears will change.You need to learn to interact with the new mechanism that has turned on, and not let your experiences control you.
The following can help you cope with your fears:
- advice from specialists and senior mentors;
- adequate rest;
- the opportunity to take some time for yourself;
- physical exercise;
- listening to calm music;
- aromatherapy;
- walks in the open air;
- attentive attitude of loved ones;
- various psychological techniques, for example, visualizing your fear through drawing and sculpting;
- creative activity - in it you can express and throw out your anxiety;
- turning your fear into action aimed at preventing the situation.
If you cannot cope with your fear, you can contact a psychologist. The baby needs a happy mother who gives him her joy, warmth and care. Children feel changes in mood and emotional state. Your baby’s behavior, anxiety or tranquility depends on your calmness and confidence.
Yesterday we picked Anya up from the maternity hospital. Daddy with a bouquet and a smile on his face, friends clicking cameras, videographer, commander: “Mommy and baby, come out again!” and, of course, mommy herself, tired but peaceful. Everyone knows that Nikita is hiding in the little bag, but they haven’t looked there yet. At home, advice and comments will already begin: how to bathe, how to swaddle, funny stories from different years. The poor mother, gradually realizing the burden of responsibility and the heap of unfamiliar problems, begins to panic. It is not possible to cope with it alone.
The presence of experienced relatives and friends saves the situation, but also creates additional reasons for fear. “Don’t swaddle tightly, otherwise you’ll be bow-legged!” - Aunt Sveta shouts. “I read on the Internet that this is a myth!” – Anya objects. “I found something to believe in! How did people live without these things before? “We lived poorly!” - friend Masha, who gave birth to two children, enters into an argument. The Internet was her main adviser. And now there is a new fear - not to be conservative, but also not to miss out on something new. Doctors discover things all the time, argue and contradict. Manufacturers are releasing new “lotions” for feeding and development. What's good and what's bad? Whose opinion is trustworthy: an “experienced” woman or a progressive friend?
What are fears?
In fear itself, paradoxically, there is nothing terrible. This is a natural mechanism for survival. The feeling of anxiety about children never lets go of a woman. At first we worry about feeding him on time, placing him in the sling correctly, and not spoiling him. Then - so that he doesn’t get hurt in a yard fight, doesn’t stay late from school, doesn’t get sick. It is important to learn to understand and manage fears. Psychologists and philosophers like to say that a person should be guided by emotions, and not by them. To take the first step, you must first accept your fear and stop worrying about whether it is normal.
“Mommy fears” can be divided into two categories – general and personal. Some of them are common to almost everyone or most. Everyone has their own personal ones. Common fears usually concern the child’s physical health and handling skills. Own – psychological nuances: education, communication, development. Some people are worried about sex education, while others faint when they discover places in the house that are unsafe for children. Also distinguished are “animal” fears and so-called “info-fears” - the consequences of living in a huge information field. The same Internet. “Animal” fears sometimes take the form of all-encompassing horror, and to cope with them, it is not enough just to read and think. “In the first two weeks, my biggest nightmare was the fear of losing my baby. I was just afraid that he would die, without thinking about why and how this could happen. I wanted, like a cat, to grab him and just not let him go!” This horror ultimately left my friend Olga. But this took her a lot of effort. “I tried to be distracted, turned on funny, upbeat movies in the background while I was feeding the baby, listened to music, and talked to my husband only about pleasant things.”
Baby, I'm afraid of you!
"Fear of fear." One of the most insidious. Irina says: “You look at this defenseless little man, whom you carried under your heart for nine months, and you think: “What horror! I'm afraid of my child! I don't know what to do with it and I'm afraid of causing harm. Where is my maternal instinct? Later, memories of awkwardness in handling the baby bring a smile. But thoughts about your worthlessness cause a lot of anxiety.
Children's doctor, psychotherapist, family consultant Anna Zarembo comments:“This fear would be more accurately called “I’m somehow wrong.” We are sure that the body of a “correct” mother is equipped with a special program. She knows how to bathe, feed and think the right thoughts. And it turns on when two stripes are detected on the test. In the past, motherhood was almost the only task of a woman. Today everything is different. You need to tell yourself: “You can learn to be a mother. And I will learn!”
Fear of not being able to do something in time. If there is a “well-wisher” nearby who repeats: “Oh, what kind of mother is she!” We are incompetent, not our mother” - this phrase will work. We recently picked up Lera...let's say, from a sanatorium. For six years she was not left without children even for a day! Mostly, entertainment was limited to family trips to the shopping center. As soon as she left the house, she was overtaken by her mother’s call with questions about how long Lera was going to be away. “It seemed to me that I was missing something for the children.” The result is a nervous breakdown.
A.Z.:“The feeling “I am a mother echidna” is the most common among mothers. How to deal with this? Remember two formulas: “Happy mother - happy children” and “A child does not need and is even harmful” for an ideal mother. Time for ourselves, small joys give us satisfaction. This is how we “charge the batteries” and are again ready to give, share heat. Android mothers have not yet been invented, reacting with lightning speed to every movement of the child. And thank God. This is what gives him room for development.”
Fear and horror! A friend of mine dropped her puppy when she was a child. Nothing terrible happened to him, but the incident was memorable. “I tried not to pick up the children,” she shared. – When I became pregnant, my first thought was: what if I drop him? Then Zhenya gave us such heat that we had no strength left for fear!” The category of “physiological” fears also includes worries about the baby stopping breathing. It’s no less scary to think that doctors didn’t catch some terrible disease.
A.Z.:“Such fears are some of the most difficult. They are irrational, so they are not easy to get rid of. Having met them face to face, try to reduce them with rational actions. Do you jump up to check whether he is breathing or not? Place your baby's crib nearby or put him next to you. Create conditions in which there is no room for worry."
Fear of misunderstanding. Why is he crying? Does he want to eat, drink, does something hurt? We have not yet learned to understand our child and are afraid of harming him. In overcoming these fears, instinct and experience gained through trial and error come to the rescue.
A.Z.:“Crying is a way for a child to tell our world what he thinks about him. There are a lot of different words in this language that you have to learn. You won’t even notice how you will begin to understand this “Swahili”. Don't neglect feedback either. The sooner you start talking to your baby, the faster he will master the language that you understand.
Fears “about yourself”. A separate category. They also torment mothers with nightmares. “I dreamed that I was covered in huge stretch marks!” – says Marina. Some are afraid that they will not be able to bring themselves back to normal, others miss the lost size. And most people worry about sexual attractiveness in general. “For a long time I was afraid to have sex because of the stitches,” says Inna. Many are worried that the relationship with their husband will deteriorate - damaged beauty, fatigue, inability to devote enough time to the man.
A.Z.:“I will never be the same again.” This category is really broad. It’s scary that you will no longer be as slim and sexy. Horror comes from the fact that “the brains are soaked in milk” and there is no usual feeling of flight of thought. Instead of a busy life - nursing pillows and breast pumps. Protruding veins, stomach - is this forever? Yes, you will never be the same again, but you have a chance to become different. Don't push yourself. You are building a new relationship with the child’s father. Ask yourself what is important to you right now?”
Do not hesitate to build a new world in such a way that both you and your loved ones feel comfortable in it, then it will be good for the child too. Such a tiny creature cannot occupy the entire universe. In the new world there should be a place for you, for a man, for the two of you as a couple, for loved ones and friends.
We are so different!
As you can see, there are many fears. Using the advice of psychologists and more experienced mothers, each of us is also looking for effective ways to fight it.
There are pleasant exceptions: mothers who are not afraid of anything. “Everything was so natural for me! There wasn’t even a thought about any fear!” - Tatyana is surprised at my question. While Lena gives a non-stop tirade: “What was I afraid of? At first I thought when the suture would heal where they were giving birth. Most of all I was worried about the child. He eats and sleeps, and screams in between. And if he ate and slept - why? What am I doing wrong? How to figure out what this creature, the most dear and beloved, wants? What kind of mother am I if I can’t feel my baby? What to eat besides potatoes and pasta? I was confused about how to breastfeed: on demand or in order.” She barely stopped her.
We are all different, but we love our children and are ready to overcome any fears for their sake. Even if we come up with them ourselves.
Yaroslavna Zvereva
Young mothers’ fears of their children are often understandable, and some even have certain advantages; the only problem is that many take them too seriously. It seems that we managed to overcome it quite recently and now there is a new wave. Well, he will learn to fight them. As for the advantages, they help you become the most loving and caring mother.
1. I am afraid that the child will fall when I pick him up.
This is the first maternal fear, which passes very quickly. Moreover, in reality there is nothing to worry about, even without the slightest idea, you will do everything as needed. Maternal instinct and love for a small miracle will help with this. And a newborn is not so fragile.
It is true that children fall, but this most likely happens when they are left unattended. This is something worth working on, never leave your baby alone on the changing table or bed, even for a minute.
2. The baby does not have enough milk
You are not alone, this is one of the most common fears of new mothers. It is often a cause for concern. At the slightest deviation from the specified values, panic begins and weighing 10 times a day. It is enough to understand that these are average indicators, and your child is individual. What you really need to pay attention to is his well-being and behavior. If the baby is cheerful, active and looks healthy, there is nothing to worry about. Go regularly and everything will be fine.
3. The child constantly cries because I do everything wrong.
Crying is a way to attract attention, just as a baby can talk about a wet diaper, a feeling of hunger, or a desire to get more attention. Read about the most popular ones and stop blaming yourself. Your love and tender care can work wonders.
4. A pacifier can ruin your bite.
Children have a need to suck, and this is a purely psychological moment. If breastfed babies receive breastfeeding on demand, then artificial babies eat on a schedule and need a pacifier (read). If she doesn't, fingers or something else will be used. And in this case, the chances of ruining the bite are much higher. Better look for a modern model that helps prevent tooth deformation.
5. Dirt and bacteria are everywhere
Another fear of young mothers, which is extremely popular. It leads to cleaning several times a day and attempts to achieve almost sterility in the house. This should not be done, this approach is only justified for the first 20 days, then cleanliness is needed, but within reasonable limits. In order for a child to fully develop immunity, he must have contact with the outside world. Let him pet pets, communicate more with other children, play in the sandbox...
6. A child may choke in a large bathtub.
7. He's freezing
Young, inexperienced mothers are often afraid that the child will be cold, and fanatically wrap him in several blankets. At the same time, forgetting that constant overheating can weaken the immune system. At a temperature of 20°C, the child will not freeze; on the contrary, such a temperature has a beneficial effect on metabolic processes.
8. Disposable diapers are dangerous
Moreover, boys are often the object of concern. But, firstly, today there is no data confirming such statements, and secondly, the temperature in disposable and gauze diapers is the same. You just need to change them more often and arrange air baths.
9. Something can happen to a child in a dream
This is a fairly strong fear of many young mothers, which forces them to run to the playpen every half hour in the middle of the night and check if everything is in order. Of course, such cases are known, but their percentage is negligible.
10. I'm a bad mother
Similar thoughts come to mothers after they notice that they are very often irritated and nervous. These are stereotypes, nothing more. Only in the movies can you see a mother who always manages to do everything, never gets tired, solves any problems, and also manages to look like a model. In life, everything is different and we all get nervous, things don’t go well for us, and we can make mistakes.
“At least nothing happened to him. Oh, what a tall staircase, he might fall! Someone sneezed in the crowd, he could get infected! He ran out onto the road and could be hit by a car! He’s been gone for a long time, it’s like something happened!”
Do you think such thoughts often occur to mothers? I'll tell you a secret - almost always. A mother’s fear for her child is as strong a feeling as love for him, and therefore most mothers completely dissolve in their fears, thereby poisoning not only their lives, but also the life of their child.
And most importantly, it all starts before the baby is born. Yes, yes, imagine, the child has not yet been born, and the expectant mother is already afraid for him! Being in an interesting position, every second woman is tormented by thoughts: “Is everything okay with my baby?”, “Is he developing correctly?”, “He hasn’t moved for a long time, something must have happened,” “He moves all the time, something is probably bothering him!” » . And so on ad infinitum. Fear takes over women's hearts once and for all even during pregnancy!
It is known that fear is our subconscious’s way of avoiding pain, suffering and failure. That is, theoretically, fear has a very noble mission, because it provides us with a safe existence! But in practice, alas, it poisons our lives. Judge for yourself.
If during pregnancy a woman is afraid for her baby, then she is not helping him at all, but only harming him. When we are afraid, our heart begins to beat faster, blood circulation increases accordingly, everything inside contracts, adrenaline is released, which is responsible for survival in extreme conditions. The baby feels it all! He also shrinks all over, his heart also begins to beat faster, his entire nervous system works in stress mode. Not to mention the fact that energetically, fear carries encoded information that this world is full of dangers, it is completely unfavorable for life. All this is deposited in the subconscious of an unborn child!
When a child is born, the mother’s fear only increases, because the world is so big, and her baby is so small! Due to constant stress, she loses milk for feeding, and the child begins to have all sorts of problems in the form of diathesis or intestinal colic.
Now he has grown up a little, and his mother, only out of good intentions, tells him at every step: “Don’t go there, a car might hit you there. Don't touch the dog, it will bite you. Don't pet the cat, you'll get shingles. Don't put your hands in your mouth, there will be worms! Don't climb so high, you'll fall. Don’t touch, you’ll get hurt!” From the outside, this can be heard very well; all mothers try to protect their child from all sorts of dangers of this world. And their intention also seems to be noble, but, unfortunately, such behavior carries direct information for the child: “The world is cruel, dangerous. There is more bad than good here. And this bad thing must certainly happen to you.”
Needless to say, such a child will grow up unsure of himself, full of fears and doubts, indecision and complexes. Such a person will never take risks, express himself, or live the way he wants. He will not be able to be happy, since the beliefs laid down in childhood by his mother will interfere with the revelation of his personality. Yes Yes. The reason for everything is fear of the mother.
But maternal fear lives with her to the end. Even if she finds out what harm she is doing to her child, it will be very difficult for her to get rid of him and release him. He grew attached to her soul and became her constant companion. It only transformed over time. Now she is already afraid of other things. That her son will not be able to realize himself in life, that her daughter will marry unsuccessfully. A mother's heart will suffer at the sight of a tortured, already adult child, who spins day after day like a squirrel in a wheel. She will look into his eyes with hope, wanting to see sparks of happiness there. But there will also be fear in his eyes. Fear for yourself. Fear for your children. And so on in a vicious circle.
To prevent this from happening, let's release our fear now! Let's learn to trust the Universe, trust fate, life, higher powers, our Guardian Angel. Trust your intuition, which, due to fear, has completely lost its voice and quietly whispers to us: "Don't be afraid! Everything will be fine!" . The child who came into this world thanks to you has his own mission, his own destiny, his own destiny. Trust his soul, which chose this path! And when it happens, you will see not only the happy eyes of your child, but also breathe a sigh of relief, it will become so much easier for you to live.