How I got my husband back How to return a beloved husband: proven means and methods Is there anyone who was able to return her husband

According to statistics, almost half modern families breaks up in the first years, the percentage of divorces is very high. Men leave families, often leaving children behind. Divorces provoked by a woman are not as common as divorces initiated by husbands. Men leave, but often return. A woman who finds herself in such a situation can do a lot to resume her former family life with her beloved man.

Before deciding what exactly can be done to return a man to the family, it is necessary to analyze in detail the reasons for his departure. As a rule, a woman implicitly knows what exactly provoked the departure of a man. However, if there are doubts about this issue, it makes sense to consider the main reasons why a man can leave, because in fact there are not so many of them.

Boredom and routine

A common reason for parting is a man's recognition of the fact that he is simply tired of a woman. At the same time, family life, the usual way of life, and routine can get bored. The cooling of relationships, associated precisely with boredom, can begin already in the first months of married life, while others find this phenomenon after years of marriage.

But in any case, there is something to oppose to such a problem. The main thing is to feel the problem and the state of the husband in advance. You can diversify your life together in many ways that will arouse the interest of both parties. Going to events, a new joint hobby, a change in lifestyle - all this will help to eliminate the fading of feelings due to boredom and because the woman is tired.

material problems

Another reason why not only women, but also men leave. But the specifics of men's experiences in this regard are somewhat different. After all, they take responsibility for the well-being of the family, and in any case it is hard to endure situations when they cannot earn enough and meet the expectations of their beloved woman.

Feeling that he cannot earn enough, that he cannot reach certain heights in life, a man needs moral support that can multiply his strength. This support should come from a woman, in the form of affection, kindness, faith in his strength. But instead, a man usually begins to saw. As a result, he feels even worse and chooses to leave.

intimate life

This is an extremely important aspect of married life, and in the understanding of men, it occupies one of the upper steps. A husband always wants his wife to see a man in him, to want him physically too. Lack of intimacy or rare, routine married life can inspire a man to look for a mistress.

Difference in character

Another reason why any relationship breaks up. If people can treat each other with respect, marriages usually last despite cultural and any other differences.

However, if the difference in character and temperament causes constant quarrels and mutual misunderstanding, a man may feel that a break in relations is the only way out of this situation. A man stays with a woman and does not run away from her to friends or a mistress only if her presence in life brings him comfort and joy, and not vice versa.


Wife's neglect

Sometimes a man loses interest in a woman, and then completely abandons her because of her appearance. Men tend to love with their eyes, they want a woman to always remain beautiful, while some women, after getting married, simply stop looking after themselves. And this creates certain problems in relationships.

It’s always worth keeping an eye on your appearance, and besides, it’s not superfluous to at least sometimes change your image, use cosmetics and dress up, even if you are almost constantly sitting at home.

Other relatives

Problems with other relatives, and especially with the mother-in-law, also often cause bad marriage. If you can find mutual language with all the relatives with whom your husband maintains relations, then even in the event of a quarrel, they will try to reconcile you. But if the relationship is conflicting, the situation may not be in your favor, and at any time.

wife leadership

The issue of leadership is another topical issue in relationships. Every man by nature wants to lead. And if a woman rudely snatches the reins from him, he either leaves or becomes a rag that the woman herself ceases to need. Open leadership is not a woman's path, although no one prevents a woman from ruling from the background, using wisdom and cunning.

Treason

And another reason for the breakup of families and established relationships is treason. It is not worth talking about it separately, because it arises due to one or more problems from the list already listed. Cheating is a situation when a man, for one reason or another, has chosen another woman and has already begun to build relationships with her, moving away from his family.


What can not be done after the departure of her husband?

When this situation happens, the nerves are usually on edge. But at this point, you must in no case make the following mistakes:

  • If the husband’s departure has already taken place, he slammed the door and went to friends or relatives, you should not panic. Even if it happened violent quarrel, men in the heat of the moment do not leave forever, this step is pondered for a long time. At such moments, you should not chase him and call, look for him, run towards him. Such actions will cause a backlash, he will want to leave even more.
  • In no case should you beg your husband to return, whine, sob, threaten suicide, pretend to be sick, and so on. Asking for love like charity and humiliating yourself is not the way to a happy relationship.
  • Do not fall into depression, hysteria, feel sorry for yourself. The departure of a man is not the end of the world, and there is no need to kill yourself. Continue to live your normal life, take care of yourself, go to salons and play sports. In addition, additional interesting hobby It will be very useful, it will help to cope with sadness and distract yourself.
  • You can not try to take revenge on her husband, even in the case of treason. And it also makes no sense to sort things out with a rival, even if she knows perfectly well that she is dating married man. Threats, swearing will not lead you to anything good, rather, on the contrary, they will further alienate you from each other.
  • You should not look for an opportunity for treason in response, to get acquainted with other men.
  • There is no need to discuss the situation in circles of acquaintances, to tell unpleasant things about her husband. It is worth calming down and trying to live a normal life.

How to get your husband back?

Consider several situations that may affect the departure of a husband from the family. And we will try to figure out what to do in a given situation.

Argument

After a fight, everyone needs time to cool down and calm down. Depending on the temperament and the situation, it may take an hour or several days. Only after this time, when the person calms down, you can analyze the situation and find a solution that will suit both.

In a quarrel, a man may leave, he may not be at home for some time, and you need to take this calmly. When he calms down, he will return himself. If, after a quarrel, he decided to leave forever, then this was the last straw, and you need to figure out what was the original and most significant reason that he decided to take such a step. Depending on this reason, you need to think about what to do next. Perhaps, having decided it, the husband will want to return. If not, then read the situation below.

Husband fell out of love and left

First of all, you should not hold him, you need to let him go. If you try to keep a person against their will, it will cause even more quarrels and scandals, and reduce your chances of getting the person back later.

You need to leave calmly, without tantrums, threats and other emotional aspects. You also need time to think about whether you need this man. Without it, the world will not turn gray, on the contrary, you will have new perspectives and opportunities, free time. And if he openly says that he fell out of love, made a mistake, and so on, then it would be quite reasonable to let him go and leave him alone.


If you are determined to return it, then the right time for this will come in a couple of months. He must miss you. During this time, you need to change your wardrobe, image, find new hobbies, and generally change dramatically, carefully analyzing what exactly did not suit your man. Then you can casually appear with him in general circles of acquaintances, places where he happens. He should see you beautiful, in a good mood, hurrying somewhere.

If he saw you, but did not pay attention, was not interested, did nothing and did not offer. Then do not react to it, continue to live your life, work on yourself. Focusing on yourself, new hobbies will help to cope with thoughts about him. Under no circumstances should he be forced to. If he does not show interest in you even at this time, then he does not want to be with you. And nothing can bring him back. Even if you make him do it. Sooner or later, he will leave anyway. You can't cry and beg for love.

If he is interested in your changes, offers to meet and talk, then this is a good sign. It means that he needs you and there is a chance to return the relationship. But even in this case, do not rush to return him home. Look at his actions. Let him first make an effort to restore a relationship with you. After all, by leaving he hurt you and should not get you back too easily. Otherwise, this may happen again, as he will know that in any case you will accept him.

Cheating husband

Cheating is a more difficult situation, and here you also need to first of all forget about emotions and calm down. And then you should consider whether you need this person at all. Even if you stay with the children, even if you depend on him in one way or another. Can you completely forgive his betrayal? Are you ready to make an effort to save your family?

According to psychologists, it is possible to forgive adultery for the first time if a woman is ready to do it. The second time - never!

If the husband went to his mistress, then in no case do you need to beg him to return. You should, on the contrary, cut off all contact with him. You can communicate only on issues related to children, if you have them. Do not look for meetings with him, do not go to your mistress. Isolate yourself from any information about him. Forbid yourself to think about him. If this is difficult to do, pray. If your husband wants to talk to you, ignore him. You are offended and do not want to see him. This should be the main message for him. He must understand that he has lost you forever.

Only in this case, he will really think about how much you are dear to him. If he still has any feelings for you, he will start to get nervous. The mistress will lose ground, because she is with him, he is fine with her, which cannot be said about you. And then he may become desperate, he will begin to pursue you. In this case, you do not need to give up positions, be adamant. When he starts asking to return to the family, be cold. Let him know that you will return to him if he accepts your conditions: he must leave his mistress right now, even if she still has his things, no longer communicate with her, do not answer calls. And if you find out that he violated the conditions, then you immediately file for divorce. Be persistent and don't let yourself be pushed.

Cheating wife

But when it comes to female infidelity, there is a different situation. Any man will react sharply to information that his woman is cheating on him. This is a blow to pride, a betrayal, after which it is difficult to restore trust. It is rare to restore such relationships, and the chances of this are especially small if there were constant quarrels and scandals, people did not suit each other initially.


If we are talking about a friendly couple, where people have been together for a long time, and really brought joy to each other, there is such an opportunity here. If there was a betrayal, but there was no deceit and attempts at manipulation, the man is more willing to reconcile. But in any case, it will take time, this is not an instant process. Only after a while, the emotional wounds begin to heal, and you can again look for communication with a person in order to further establish a relationship with him again.

After 2-3 months, you can try to return his friendship, then start dating. These relationships will be problematic, a woman will need a lot of patience for her husband to forgive her. And it doesn't always work out at all.

Divorce

Can I get my husband back after a divorce? This is quite possible if:

  1. you are determined to return it;
  2. you parted not as enemies;
  3. married life was generally harmonious, you were interested in each other.

Only if all these points coincide, it makes sense to return the man, because otherwise you risk returning a bag of problems that you have already forgotten about. If the memories of a past married life are not encouraging, it is better to move forward and look for a person who is more suitable for you, and with whom you will have a better chance of lasting and joint happiness.

If the married life proceeded evenly and smoothly, the divorce episode could well have been a mistake, and it is possible that the man himself will begin to regret what he did in the near future. Moreover, divorce and subsequent marriage to the same spouse is a very common practice, many stars have had this. But you should not openly declare your desire to reunite, you need to act silently, but decisively.

Appearing before his eyes in a spectacular form from time to time, you will stir up interest. If you have children, it will be easier to return the relationship, because these chores will bring you closer, and besides, you will see each other more often. You should not bet on romance or intimacy, seducing ex-husband you won't solve the problem. He must have a desire to conquer you.

How to return a husband with prayers?

There is also a mass folk ways return the man. First of all, these are prayers. Someone believes in them, someone does not, however, many women claim that prayer helped them return the family, or at least easier to survive the moment of parting with their spouse. They pray to Orthodox saints, primarily to the patrons of the family and lovers.


You can pray to the Holy Mother of God, who will protect the family, will not allow the woman to remain in grief, and the children orphans with a living father. You can also pray to the Holy Matrona, Peter and Fevronia. For respect for his wife and restoration of feelings, they pray to Gury Samon and Aviv. When love disappears, they pray to Natalia and Andrian. You can read prayers in the church and at home, they usually pray in front of the icons, lighting a candle before that.

Daily evening prayers help to remove the negative and feelings associated with the family situation, allow a woman to find balance in herself, to understand that she is not alone in this world. They help to move away from the situation and get exactly the resolution that will be best.

What to do if the husband left (video)

From the video you will learn what can help you get your husband back if he left the family, and what you can’t categorically do in such a situation.

The departure of a husband from a family is a tragedy for any woman. However, do not succumb to this, shed tears and worry. You need to give yourself time and think about whether you really need this man. Maybe with his departure your life will change for the better. And if you firmly decided to return it, you will cope with this task if your desire is really strong.

The apartment was empty, the soul was sad. And in my head there is only one thought - how to return my husband home.

Don't make new mistakes

There is always a chance for her husband to return to the family. The faithful is still marked in the passport as a legal spouse, and we have the right to communicate with him. No need to wave your passport when you meet in an attempt to reason with him. Or constantly call, beg for forgiveness, try to pity. The seal can be easily removed if the wife behaves too aggressively. And prayers instead of sympathy can cause contempt and neglect.

Running around girlfriends in search of support and help is also not an option. Firstly, each person has his own view of the problems. What suits one often harms another.

Secondly, one of the friends may start hunting for someone else's husband. Yes, he will say nasty things about his wife. And we ourselves in our hearts are able to tell about the faithful that outsiders do not need to know.

Try not to yell at your spouse, do not throw tantrums. Aggression is not the best companion in building relationships. All that you will achieve by such behavior is to assure your husband that he did the right thing. Gain strength and courage to behave calmly in this situation.

No need to tearfully beg him to come back, do not humiliate yourself. He will feel sorry for you, but pity is not love. Make it clear that you are not one of those who are easily broken, that you are a strong and wise woman. This will at least earn respect from her husband.

Do not blackmail him with children, an apartment or other common values. Men can't stand being pressured. Even if you force him to return by this, you will no longer have a normal life.

Don't ask him about your rival. He is in love. With foam at the mouth, he will protect his mistress, and remember all your sins. Don't torture yourself.

Do not try to take revenge on your husband by cheating. First, you won't feel better. Secondly, if the husband finds out about this, he will no longer want to return to you. Men treat their own betrayals easily, but women do not forgive.

It’s better to be alone for now and figure out why the spouse left. And then make a plan of action. It will also depend on the reason for the breakup, the situation in the family before leaving, and on the character of the husband. Each case requires different actions, but there are general principles.

To get your spouse back

Try to look at the relationship in marriage from the perspective of an outsider. It is advisable to contact a psychologist for this - it is difficult to be impartial in such a situation. It is necessary to understand whether what happened is a pattern or a spontaneous outburst of emotions.

Perhaps the marriage had been cracking at the seams for a long time, and we refused to admit it, did not try to do something. If so, then everything is normal. Parting sooner or later would have happened as a natural stage in the relationship. The couple needs to understand how much they need each other. And then it remains to wait and maintain a good relationship.

If you still want to return your husband to the family, he must know that his half is yearning and waiting. Otherwise, the spouse may decide that he is not needed. And do not return, even if he himself goes crazy in separation.

There may be other reasons for the gap. The couple lived as usual: they discussed family problems, argued, quarreled, reproached each other for something. But before the man was angry, he could be silent or scream, but he did not leave.

It turns out that the intensity of emotions has become too strong. Who is to blame is not so important. You need to keep a man from rash actions. In this state, he is able to file for divorce. Or start an affair to blow off steam and get revenge. Then it will not be easy to return the relationship. So, you need to find a husband, caress, apologize. Let him get angry at first, but he will begin to calm down and will not commit reckless acts.

When family relationships break down, it is especially important not to forget about children. They suffer most from the fact that dad is no longer around. Overcome your own weakness, become a support for them. But in no case do not set up against your husband. Children really need a father. Losing love, respect for him is too difficult a test for a child's psyche. Let them see each other. In addition to taking care of the children, this is another point in our plan to return the husband home.

During the breakup, try to become what you were before you met him. After all, he was once in love with that woman without memory. Take care of yourself, devote more time to caring for your appearance. Go to visit friends, visit the fitness center, update your wardrobe. You are doing all this for yourself, not for him. You just have free time to regain the chic that you had before you were mired in family life.

Be confident. When meeting with your husband, behave in such a way that he understands that he offended you very much, but do not take on the appearance of a victim. Smile, talk calmly, but slightly aloofly. Now he probably expects a violent reaction from you - accusations, screams and tears. Show that you have pride and live happily without it.

During life together Surely you have a common circle of friends and acquaintances. When the husband leaves, friends are divided into two camps: one is on your side, the other is on the side of the husband. Do not lure mutual acquaintances to your side. Do not elicit from them the details of his personal life - this will become known to the husband and will only turn him away from you. Communicate with everyone as if nothing had happened. Avoid talking about breaking up - you will surely have other topics to discuss.

Make new friends, surround yourself with interesting people. Go without him to the cinema, theater, to some events. Look for entertainment opportunities, fill your life with new events. But it's not worth starting novels just yet. First, make sure that your husband is not returned. Or that there is no longer any need for his presence nearby.

Don't think about running around fortune tellers and psychics. Their services are expensive and their services questionable. As a result, in addition to an empty house, we get an empty pocket.

The best tactic is to wait. If a man lives with another girl, he will not necessarily be better with her than with you. The first romantic feelings will soon subside. They will be replaced by gray everyday life: dirty socks, tasteless dinner, unpleasant habits of each other. You lived with him for a long time and probably learned how to make his life comfortable. You know exactly what he likes for breakfast, how many suits to put him on a business trip, what medicine to give for a runny nose. Your opponent has no such advantages.

He is accustomed to a well-established life, and to build new family It means getting used to the new rules. Not every man can survive such stress. So in most cases, husbands who leave their wives for their mistresses return home.

In any case, in order for a man to want to return, you need to talk to him. Calmly, kindly, frankly. If the spouse is too offended or furious, he may not go to such a conversation. You should not insist. Please try again after a while. The main thing is that he can at least listen without answering anything. And it is important for a woman to choose Right words. Let's say it will be a monologue, but the husband will remember it. He will comprehend everything, draw conclusions and, most likely, return to the family.

The return of a man is possible even after a divorce. The main condition, without which the further development of normal relations is impossible, is forgiveness. Only if you sincerely forgive each other can your family exist. Omissions, resentment and mutual reproaches are the first path to defeat.

If the husband has an affair on the side

The husband does not leave, but you know for sure that he has another. He deceives you, and you feel that you are losing your man. Do not tell your husband that you know everything. Otherwise, you will either have to crush the offense and live with it further, or demand a divorce. But you want to return your husband to the family.

First of all, stop self-deprecating. You're not scary, you're not stupid, you're not fat. The husbands of even the most beautiful women make mistresses.

Do not try to follow him, read SMS, ask your friends about who your rival is. In any case, he will find out about your behavior, and this will cause him either pity or disgust. And if it comes to a showdown and he has to confess everything to you, it will be difficult to contain his emotions. This will be another pebble in your garden: you are a nervous hysteric, and she is a gentle, wise woman. If after all these events you stay with him, then he will understand that you cannot live without him, and will cheat, almost without hiding.

Having learned that her husband has an affair on the side, it is better to go somewhere under a fictitious pretext. Give vent to emotions and cry enough, And upon returning to act calmly.

All you have to do now is draw his attention to yourself. Change your habits. If his evening delays usually end with an interrogation, start ignoring them. If you have been busy with everyday life all day, then you should relax and devote more time to yourself personally. Do not constantly think about how to get your husband back, just live for yourself.

Urgently take care of your appearance: change your hairstyle, style of clothing. Don't forget sexy lingerie. But if before you chose black satin sets, then try on something red, or pink, with lace. Let him see you by chance in new underwear before you go out. This will make him think that you are interesting to someone other than him. Jealousy is a rather serious reason to leave a successful relationship on the side for a while, and seriously take on a wife that is “escaping” from the hands.

Just do not really have a lover just for the sake of revenge on the offender. Maybe some of the men will shake it up, but usually they do not forgive betrayal. This can be a great reason to break up with you officially.

Think about the mistakes you make in your life together. Maybe you are too repressive of your husband. Or maybe you seem so helpless and inept to him that you only annoy him. You know your husband very well and will be able to understand what was wrong with you. Try to change internally - it cannot go unnoticed.

It is unlikely that a man will leave you during this time. Usually, such decisions are made for a very long time. Unless you push him by kicking him out of the house. Let him remember that you are the same woman he fell in love with years ago. This should be a powerful incentive to look at you in a new way - especially if you change internally for the better. And you yourself will be able to decide during this time whether you need this person, or you can safely let him go to a new attachment.

Talk 8

Similar content

The story I'm about to tell is real. It happened with my best friend Alexandra (name deliberately changed). I, as a psychologist with a certain experience, decided to try to help her. What came out of it - read on.

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Alexandra has been living with her husband for five years. He is a positive man, he never gets drunk, he brings all the money to the family, he treats his wife with respect. They have an adorable three year old daughter. At first glance, they are a wonderful family.

It all started suddenly. Suddenly, the husband began to preen before going anywhere alone, although before that he had not paid too much attention to his appearance. Suddenly, the husband began to hide his phone, pages on social networks, although before that he had never had secrets from his wife. Suddenly, the husband showed himself not from the best side: he began to criticize Alexandra's cooking, her style of dress, and so on. And once their mutual friends noticed him in a restaurant with an unfamiliar woman. Alexandra came running to me in tears, it hurt her very much. She really loves her husband very much and she didn't want to be left alone with a small child who needs a father. I promised Alexandra that we would bring her husband back to the family. To do this, she began to follow these tips:

  1. The main thing is to calm down. It's not the end of the world. Still can be easily fixed. You need to set yourself the right mood. Of course, it hurts a lot if a beloved man cheats on you, but it is important to accept one bitter thought: many men cheat, although they love their wife at the same time. There are many reasons. A fleeting impulse, a desire to try something new, to prove something to yourself, to diversify your life, to take part in a kind of adventure. A very small percentage of men leave their wife and go to his mistress.
  2. Pretend you don't know about it. It’s hard, but in this case you can’t make scandals, by doing this you will only “denigrate” yourself. And if the husband suddenly himself admits to his misconduct, you need to be treated with understanding.
  3. Be perfect and be the best. In all areas. Start to pay close attention appearance. Do It new hairstyle, buy a new sexy dress, go to a beauty salon. Prove yourself as a great hostess. Arrange absolute comfort in the house by buying new decorations for the house. Start cooking new dishes that he has never tried before. Be playful in bed. Never refuse intimacy, and if he does not offer - take the initiative in your own hands, and more often!
  4. Praise your husband and compliment him. He needs to feel that you love and appreciate him. It will be very flattering for him. Give him some surprises, surprise him. Arrange dates for him, as it was before marriage. Revive your relationship with mystery and intrigue.

Overcoming pain and resentment, Alexandra carefully followed the above points. As a result, the result became noticeable even to others. Their relationship with her husband sparkled with new colors, they behaved like teenagers wildly in love. He admired his wife, who suddenly became so beautiful, sexy and economic. Gradually, all signs of betrayal faded away. No one saw him again with a strange woman.

16.07.13 OLGA33

And I loved my husband, but he used me, then he beats me, then caresses me, then he leaves somewhere suddenly, and then it turned out that he had a mistress on his side, I suffered, it seemed like we had lived ten years in marriage, and then my husband I was going to get a divorce, I didn’t want to live, and then I decided to turn to a magician. At first I turned to some charlatan, since I didn’t have time to pay the money, exposing him, and the second time I turned to a professional Fatima Evglevskaya, I won’t write the site, if you suddenly need it, you will find it on the Internet. And she agreed to help me! I saw the result in the second week, when my husband suddenly returned home and began to ask for forgiveness, he simply begged me to forgive, promising that he would never raise his hand again. And he keeps his promise, we have been together for two years, we live in happiness and joy.

It's a little strange to read some of the recommendations given that the article was written by a psychologist. I'm just interested in psychology and observe what is happening around, analyze how it was in my life. In general, I try to draw a conclusion from my own mistakes. Of course, sometimes no knowledge of psychology can protect against these same mistakes, especially when you love with all your heart. But you should never sacrifice yourself to a loved one. Maybe she didn’t say it right to the end, but living in order to try to please him in everything will most likely give the opposite result. A woman needs to become beautiful for herself during this period, to increase her own self-esteem. Maybe the reason for going to the left of her husband was a midlife crisis. I agree that a man needs the admiration of his woman.

11.06.15 Lina

Hello girls! As soon as I tried to return my husband myself, nothing came of it. Psychologist Vladimir Pashuk helped me understand myself and return my beloved. Now my husband treats me with special trepidation, appreciates, respects and loves me. I advise him not only as an intelligent psychologist, but also as a good and reliable person. Here is my story: http://smogla-vernut.ru/

4.02.16 Mariusha

How to get your husband back is a very popular question and request on the Internet. It is understandable. This share is passed by a much smaller number of women, much more of those who have experienced the pain of losing a beloved man. Breaking up relationships is not at all joyful and rarely calm. This is pain, this is fear, and this is the search for an answer to the question “what to do”. I have my own successful experience. And I studied this issue deeply for myself, and then to help other women. Therefore, in this article I will tell you how I got my husband back after a divorce.

And I advise you to do everything in order. Read the text below carefully and watch the video at the end to reinforce what you have read. And then, the post is not a transcription of the video.

Situation

I'll start by describing the situation, because it is important point.

Your beloved, even if you still live together, your thoughts are no longer with you. That is, he no longer considers you his woman, the one for whom he wants to conquer the world, get a mammoth and protect from "enemies".

He decided:

  • Or he has one for which he decided to take responsibility.
  • Or he decided to start new life where you won't be. Of course, you are, and there are your children. But in a new life, you are definitely not his woman. Perhaps a friend. And well, if so. But more often you are the mother of his children and nothing more. He's tired... of you.

Your man does not believe in you. Your relationship does not suit him so much that he is ready to build new ones again, which, by definition, adds work. Yes, not all men think about it at the moment of making a decision. And if yours is one of them, you're in luck. And if not? Sometimes a man's roof just blew away from passion for a new passion. She is not necessarily younger than you and her legs are from her neck, but she certainly gives him more than you.

What does she give him such that he stopped receiving from you?

It just stopped receiving. That is, you had it, it is possible that you still have it. Because if it wasn't, then there wouldn't be a relationship. There would be a short-term connection. But we are talking about the collapse of the union that existed for more than one year, right?

So here - it is ENERGY that he no longer sublimates from your relationship. And how without it? Keep this in mind as I move on to the "return of the prodigal son" steps.


What for?

Why do you need this man?

The question is not idle. And the most important or the first, to which you are simply obliged answer yourself honestly. I know it's difficult. This is fine. Not everyone is able to answer right away, not everyone is honest. Most likely, the answer will be unpleasant for you. But, as they say, a bitter truth is better than a sweet lie.

Most often, a woman does not want to let go of a man and put up with a break for mercantile reasons. Mercantilism consists both in the desire not to lose material wealth, which will obviously become less with his departure, and in the unwillingness to break the emotional attachment and the subsequent emotional emptiness. I would like to continue to receive the fortunes that this man gives birth to and gives. Loneliness does not give these states. It is truly a drug. Yes, in problematic relationships we get less and less of such states, and more and more negative ones. But we remember and feed on hope. And sometimes, as it was in my case, we do not notice. So it's easier.

There's little love in all this. If she exists at all. And there is a hellish flame of selfishness. “I, me, with me, with me” - it is these parts of speech that prevail in thoughts. With the pronoun "he" only negative definitions and verbs are used.

We ask ourselves the questions “why?”, “How could he?”, “Why is he doing this to me?” ... A scoundrel, a scoundrel, a traitor, an egoist!

The truth is that the answers to such questions, even if they are found, will not solve the problems. From the word at all. As long as we drown ourselves in self-pity, in hatred for him, then in self-hatred, in pity for the past, a man goes further and further and will eventually find himself at the point of no return.

All. You won't get it back. And don't work on your mistakes. The next time, even after many years, the same thing will happen, and you will find yourself alone again. Depending on the answer to the question “why”, we choose our further actions.

I want ME

When I asked myself the question “why do I need my husband”, and with it “why do I feel so bad without him”, I discovered my selfish desires.

I did not want to let go of a man with whom I was comfortable and comfortable.

We have in common - children and grandchildren, social circle, business, real estate. I'm interested in him, he is unusually good in bed. So take it and lose everything? Give another? No, I deserve the best, and even more so, my husband. And she, this homemaker, who is she? She went with him all of our "Crimea-eye"? He wants to get ready, impudent! And I went along the path of excommunication of the homeowner from her husband. A dead end path full of pain, resentment, hatred. The fact that I myself launched a boomerang, I will not describe. My negative states have harmed me physically. The main thing is that this path leads far, far away from a man. That is, if you want to return a man, never do this.

Of course, these are perfectly valid questions. Only they are not about love. At the same time, there is no need to moan “I love you can’t” or “I gave everything to him, youth, beauty, I gave my life to him, and he!”, “Who can love him like me?”.

Tell yourself honestly: "I want this man, because I feel good with him." There is nothing seditious in this. You just want happiness for yourself and only for yourself. It's about you.

What's next?

And then try to answer the question "does the man want to return to you." At first glance, the answer is immediately negative. Of course, he doesn’t want to, since he has either already left, or has practically left, that is, he behaves like a free man. However, the answer is negative only at first glance. Try to find the true reasons for his departure.

I warn you! No need to look for reasons in order to find the culprit. No one is guilty or both are guilty. Which is essentially the same thing. Think, at the dawn of your relationship, could someone have a desire to create an alliance that was doomed to break in advance? Or did either of you deliberately make mistakes or want to break up? Absurd, right?

A man craves love and understanding in a relationship no less than a woman. This means that the reason appeared later as a result of certain errors. And we must try to find them calmly and objectively, and then treat it reasonably. It's hard, it takes time. However, I know and affirm that every woman can do it if she is not her own enemy.

In general, the reasons come down to one thing - a man does not believe in your love for him. What does this mean for a man? And the fact that you are an ordinary egoist whom he sponsors to no avail. You want to take what you need from him without giving him what he really needs.

Harmonious Relations It's always an equal exchange! People in a relationship exchange valuable, useful and important especially for each person.

You don't have to see it with your own eyes. Look through the eyes of a man. Are you giving him what he really needs and appreciates?

I want HIM

When I realized what my husband was not getting from me, I felt uneasy. Honestly. Intentionally, but more often unintentionally, I showed him my superiority over him. Like: I'm a woman - and I'm right about that. It turns out that I did not respect and did not honor his masculinity. Rest assured, this is the most painful thing for a man. When they do not believe in him, as a man - the king of nature. I realized something else - he is important to me, he is valuable to me, he is a really real and cool man! I just have to prove it to him!

You may have other errors. But it was the mistakes that led to the fact that the man does not believe in your selfless love. Love is not for something, but just like that. Real love it can only be this - disinterested or unconditional. It has nothing to do with addiction and the suffering associated with it.

It is worth returning your husband to the family or restoring your love union only if you sincerely love your husband and wish him happiness. You understand that you owe your husband and want to repay this emotional debt.

How can you do it?

  • stop making a scene, act like a victim
  • stop crying and suffering in public, but rather in secret


How do you think a man feels when he sees your tears and hears your wailing? Your emotions are not clear to him, he has a different physics. Behind your moans, he hears his own, something else: to do what? how to stop all this or resolve it peacefully?

Very often, women, trying to regain the favor of a man, choose to suffer. Because he will see how unhappy I am without him, how much I suffer and suffer, what bags I have under my eyes ... But it doesn’t work. Men are far from being so empirical. And when they see other people's suffering, their heart does not open, but closes. Tightly. And the result is the opposite. Alas.

Olga Valyaeva

  • stop manipulating, manipulation always involves personal gain
  • let go of a man in peace, without clinging to him
  • sincerely wish him happiness without the hope of an equivalent answer

Once, he fell in love with you, took responsibility for you and future children, wished for happiness and was like that. You both wanted the same thing - to build and enjoy a long-term union. But over time, both of you, no matter who is bigger, have made a lot of mistakes. Passion passed, then understanding, and with it the emotional intimacy began to melt like snow in spring. Your man no longer wants to endure it and wait for the weather by the sea. He stopped getting love from you. Love in its own, male understanding of this phenomenon.