He asks to let her go. My girlfriend left me, but I can't let her go and I want her back. Why You Should Let Your Ex Girl Go

Good day, I have been dating a girl for 2.5 years, we are from different cities, so we only see each other on weekends, and when she had school holidays, we started dating when she was 15 years old for a month to 16, we have a difference of 8 years, now she is 18 sexual we have been living life for more than a year, everything was fine, she went to me, I lived with each other for weeks when we met, she always spent summers in my city, my mother loves her like a daughter. when we had quarrels, I usually came and hugged her after she calmed down, and everything became normal, we often quarreled on the Internet but quickly moved away, when we were very rare in the place, and so she left for the watch, she put a photo in VK not beautiful asked to change it, because it was hard to see it there, etc. she didn’t want to change the password in VK (although we had passwords from the beginning of the relationship, she trusted me with him and I trusted her with mine) so that I didn’t change, we quarreled on this topic. I asked her if you trust me, she said no. I freaked out and added her to the blacklist in VK for a couple of minutes. I quickly move away from quarrels, and she is very touchy, and leaves for a long time. and after 5-7 minutes I added her again and asked for forgiveness, she said that she no longer loves and does not want to see. started ignoring it on social media. when he arrived, he gave a bouquet of bears, she accepted gifts for Rafaelka, and she told me that she didn’t love and didn’t give us a chance to be in the place, she spent the night with them for 2 days, her mother allowed her. we slept in the same bed, but it was impossible to touch it, as soon as I even rub my finger in my ass, I freaked out yelling at the whole house so as not to touch it. I have never hit her in all that time. and now she is behaving in such a way that you can’t touch her, and hugs are very important to me. and so I tried to go to her often during the day, she smiles, laughs, sometimes she allowed me to touch her, but as the throne changed in her face and freaked out, she immediately said that she would not give me a chance. and now I don’t know what to do, she asks for time to sort herself out. She definitely doesn’t have another, I’m sure of this, help me what to do very badly without her and I don’t want to let her go

Sergey, hello.

There is such a beautiful, very wise saying: "you can't be nice by force." This is exactly what you are trying to do.

I feel bad without her and I don't want to let her go

Sergey, it is not without reason that an adult man connects his life with a very young girl. Usually this is due to the emotional immaturity of the man himself. So you do not care about the happiness of the girl, but that you feel good. And how she will be in a relationship with you, it seems, is not very important.

It seems that in order for relationships to improve (at least with this girl, at least with another), you will have to make a cosmic leap - learn to respect the needs and desires of another person. Including keeping personal space from you (passwords from social networks, for example), letting go of the other when he does not want to be with you. This is a difficult task, but this step will help you have healthier and more balanced relationships in the future.

Good luck and awareness.

Sincerely, your psychologist Irina Rozanova, St. Petersburg

Good answer 2 Bad answer 1

Sergey, good afternoon!
I think it's time for a lot of things talk with your girlfriend. In my opinion, a quarrel over a photo on ava is rather an excuse, tension and dissatisfaction has already been accumulated from her, and possibly from your side too. This often happens when people in a couple do not discuss their discontent, plans or wishes for the future.
Think, the best way you now get ready and have a serious talk with your girlfriend about how to improve your relationship. What is important for this:
1. Understand and honestly answer yourself why she is so dear to you, what kind of relationship you want with her in the future. (Do you consider her as a future wife, the mother of your children, if so, after what time do you want to live together, get married, etc. Does everything suit you in a relationship, what do you like and what do you want to change).

2. Arrange a conversation with her - appoint a convenient time, place (even if it is via Skype) and indicate the purpose of the conversation (so that she is not scared).

3. Prepare your list of questions and topics that are important for you to discuss (and ask her and voice your opinion). For example, what in a relationship with you she likes, is valuable, and what does not suit her; how she wants to see the development of your relationship in a year, two - five.

4. And further - the most interesting and most necessary - reach an agreement! This means that in those points where your views clearly differ, you need to come to a common one. Let her tell her the conditions under which she is ready to stay with you together. And you state your terms. I am sure that if this relationship is really important to both of you, you will be able to agree on their implementation.

If one of you insists on clearly impossible terms, or is unable to negotiate, this is a sign that this partner is not interested in maintaining the relationship.

I wish you to discuss all the ambiguities with your girlfriend and agree to live happily ever after! All the best to you!

Maria Efimova,
practicing psychologist, coach, Tyumen

Good answer 5 Bad answer 0

Antipyretics for children are prescribed by a pediatrician. But there are situations emergency care in fever, when the child needs to be given medicine immediately. Then the parents take responsibility and use antipyretic drugs. What is allowed to give to infants? How can you bring down the temperature in older children? What medicines are the safest?

It seemed that you only recently met her, the one from which your heart began to beat in a frantic rhythm, you were swirled with a surge of feelings, and your emotions like a hurricane seized you in the desire to be with her always. She is beautiful, you are happy together, it seems that your love is endless.

But time goes by, and now the moment has come when you see that the relationship has changed, love has changed, and if your love may have grown into a real one, then for the girl time has shown that you are not a couple, her feelings began to grow cold, and she became move away from you.

I don’t want to accept this fact at all, it seems that all this is temporary, and everything will change, you just need to try, and at this moment a man begins to look for reasons and, as a rule, looks for them in himself, in his attitude, behavior.

Often a man loses self-respect for himself, he forgets about his personality, and only his beloved woman comes to the fore. But this does not help, it only gets worse, and she pushes away with even greater force, already quite clearly showing that she does not want to be with you anymore, that she no longer wants your meetings and your communication, but at the same time she does not leave, she does not quit and does not put an end to the relationship, perhaps it's because of pity, maybe it's fear, or maybe it's a habit, but be that as it may, it's already quite clear that it's time to leave. And if a loved one does not have the courage to leave you, then you should do it.

It is much easier and more worthy to let go of the woman you love, and not to be abandoned by a man, so you need to muster up the courage and let go of the woman you love.

We understand that this is not easy, but for some it seems impossible, so on the Love-911 website we will try to consider this situation and understand what to do and how to let go of your beloved.

You know that there are always ups and downs in relationships, there are both storms of emotions and a chill that gradually destroys them. But the thing is that if two people have feelings, then when the chill starts, everyone understands how they don’t want to lose each other, a certain awareness comes, and feelings intensify again, both partners do everything so that these relationships are revived again.
And we must understand that if this struggle is only on one side, then this is a meaningless struggle.
Plus, when you start fighting for relationships alone, stop remembering yourself as a person, trying to please your beloved in everything and running after her, two very destructive things happen:
First: the girl stops respecting you, appreciating and cherishing you. Why it ceases to respect, probably, it’s clear, it ceases to appreciate and cherish, because you don’t even give her the opportunity to feel what it means to cherish you, because you are always at her feet, at her every call you are already with her, any problem - you are here like here.
Second: gradually you will begin to hate yourself for humiliating yourself in front of her, for the fact that she “made” you experience such pain. Actually, this is already enough to understand that in order to continue living, you must let go of your beloved.

How to let go of a loved one

1. Accept her feelings

Accept the fact that a girl may not feel the way you would like to feel for you.

2. Closing some doors, life opens new ones.

hard breakup

How to let go of an ex girlfriend

Suffering and sadness.

Beginning and first steps.

Don't go to her page.

Don't go to "your" places.

Her girlfriends.

Negative.

When will I let her go?

print

How to let go of an ex girlfriend

Bring back the girl

How to let go of an ex girlfriend

Not all of our relationships lead to happy marriage and not all of our relationships are destined to end on a happy note. Based on this, we can say that each of us in life will experience several unfortunate breakups with girls, and some of them will forever remain in our memory.

And we all need to solve one big and fateful task: to transfer memories from the category of "painful" to the category of "we were young, happy and stupid." And to achieve this state, you can use the three stages through which every guy with a broken heart has to go through.

Why You Should Let Your Ex Girl Go

We knew a lot of guys who suffered for their ex-girlfriends for several years. They constantly tried to return past relationships, tried to get in touch with the girl, looked for her face on the street in the crowd. But most importantly: they refused other girls, even if they were worthy and attractive girls. The guys actually put themselves in a cage of empty hopes and spoiled their lives.

It is for this reason that it is necessary to let go of your ex-girlfriend so that she does not occupy the place in your heart reserved for new feelings and emotions. This is the only way to enjoy life again, to have an interest in girls again and to improve your sex life.

If a guy wants to be happy again, he must let go of his ex and forget about the dreams associated with her forever.

How to let go of a girl - steps

Suffering and sadness. If the guy really loved the girl, then after parting there comes a moment when the holes in his heart begin to remind of themselves more and more. And the situation takes the form that only in the company of friends or at work can a person live, and as soon as he is left alone with himself, he is swallowed up by melancholy.

Even for everything ready girls, friends and alcohol are unable to help the guy avoid this stage in his life. Anyway, sooner or later such a wave will cover him, and he will suffer!

And this stage will last until the guy empties himself completely, when there is no one left inside who would be sorry. A person who could enjoy life and love will die inside!

Beginning and first steps. After such a devastation, a man will again come out into the light and begin to learn step by step to live without his girlfriend. He will understand that time can be spent with friends, and not necessarily with a girl. He will understand that many girls communicate as sweetly and romantically as his ex-girlfriend. He will start looking for new acquaintances, he will start looking for new warmth in people that he missed so much.

And the danger at this stage is excessive cowardice and weakness, because it is so easy to get back into your dark world when other people burn you with their energy and emotions. Only the one who conquers the fear of the unknown in himself will be able to let go of his girlfriend and go forward to a new star!

Recovery and new love. As soon as a man can get on with his life without a girl in his life, he will realize that he has a lot of free time and energy for new feelings and emotions. Someone completely devotes himself to a new hobby, someone improves his skills and abilities, and someone sets off on a sailboat of love to new shores.

This is a whole new world, which is open to the guy, a world in which there is no more room for suffering, pain and emptiness. And that's exactly what a guy should aim for.

Letting go of the anchors of the ex-girlfriend

An anchor is any thing or emotion that connects your feelings and emotions with an ex-girlfriend. For example, a mug that a girl gave for an anniversary, or common photos that you took together. These are all the things that first make you a little happier, and then plunge you back into the darkness of suffering.

Delete all photos of the girl. Many of us love to look at photos of our girls, especially if they are sexy photos. But to make it easier for you to get rid of the girl, you need to completely remove them all. Of course, a few days after the removal, you will reproach yourself for this step, you will try to restore them or somehow find them again. But, find the strength in yourself, and delete these photos!

Don't go to her page. Put yourself a block or somehow punish yourself so that you cannot go to the page to your ex-girlfriend. Almost all guys after breaking up begin to spy on their ex-girlfriend, and also spy on a guy who is somehow connected with her. Do not look for connections, do not torture yourself with various thoughts, just give it up.

Don't go to "your" places. Absolutely all the guys after breaking up with a girl begin to go to common places, or start walking near the girl’s house, hoping to see her at least for a moment. Believe me, you will just waste your time, and such a chance meeting will give you absolutely nothing! Spare yourself this.

Her girlfriends. You do not need to discuss your girlfriend with your mutual friends and ask them to convey something to her. If it happens that a girl gives you another chance, you will be the first to know about it. Asking friends to spy on your girlfriend or give her something: stupid and useless, don't waste your time on this.

Negative. Sometimes guys get so upset about a breakup that they start saying a lot of unflattering words to their ex-girlfriend, and then realize that it was said in vain. As a result, they set themselves the goal of apologizing for these words to the girl, creating an additional debt-anchor for themselves! It is better not to do stupid things initially, rather than somehow justify yourself to yourself later.

When will I let her go?

You will be ready for a new relationship when all the memories and feelings about an ex-girlfriend turn into something distant, pleasant and completely unnecessary. Then you will be ready for new feelings and accomplishments. You know, it's hard, but it has to be done.

We have been dating for 8 months, at first we went through many trials, we did not understand each other, made compromises to each other, made concessions, when we went somewhere, gave each other reports, set a certain time, she recently began to say that I set the framework, I said: let's somehow agree differently! Although, to tell the truth, I set limits, argued, swore, quarreled, we talked every day by phone, via sms, saw each other almost every day, everyone envied our relationship, but we often had quarrels when we quarreled, when I was to blame or when she is guilty, I always took the first steps, it happened that I ran, made various beautiful gestures, flowers, gifts, cards, candles, made surprises, nice things, everything was fine, we had a fight 3 days ago, she said she wanted to be alone, I love you, I didn’t love anyone like that, I love you very much, but I’m tired, you put pressure on me, I want to be alone! I said: okay, I won’t press, she says: no, it’s too late, my patience is over, and so I tried, and so I tried to talk, her best friend I thought that we would make up, she talked to her and told me: she loves you, she has no one, she’s just tired and wants to be alone, we saw each other, she said everything, what she was tired of, what I was crushing, I told her , I understood everything, I said, I promise it won’t happen, she cried all the time, she said, I love you, but it’s too late, I want to be alone, let me go, I decided everything, I don’t want any relationship with anyone at all, I want to be free and that's it!
My friend said that she was used to the fact that when you swear, you run after her, so she shows her character, her friend says: don’t communicate with her yet, don’t put pressure on her, then it will be seen!!! please give me some advice what should i do???? I want to return it.

Jakha, Tashkent, 21 years old

Psychologist's answer:

Hello Jaha.

She is probably tired of pressure and constant stress (conflicts, quarrels, clarifications). It is necessary to take a break from each other and then reconsider the ways of interaction.

Sincerely, Lipkina Arina Yurievna.

Getting a girl back can be tricky, especially if your relationship ended on a minor note. However, if you think that there is an incredible connection between you, then it is worth collecting the cooled coals and trying to rekindle the extinguished flame. If you want a girl to want you back, give her time to remember and realize how amazing you are. And to understand how to do it, just follow the next steps.

Steps

Temporarily step aside

1. Give the girl some freedom. Perhaps you think that The best way to return the girl - to fight for her with all his might and by any means, in fact, it is better to give her some respite than to immediately rush into battle. Unless she's tied up serious relationship with another guy and you're determined to break them up, go easy on her, give her time to heal and evaluate the relationship with fresh eyes.

   • This does not mean that you need to cut off all ties, unless you think that is the best thing to do. But you should not write to her every five minutes or ask her to walk with you all the time, as you will only push the girl away.
   • If you leave her alone, she will most likely think of you too. She will think that she has not heard a word from you for some time. For a girl, this will mean that you are fine without her. This will intrigue and make her think about how you are doing there.
   • If she initiates meetings fairly early, that's good. But don't rush to get too close when you're together.
   • Giving a girl some freedom will make you look more mature. This will make her want you back even more.
   • Of course, you should not delay with active actions. Give the girl enough time to heal her wounds, but not too long to forget all the wonderful moments associated with you. Cases are different - trust your intuition. However, there is a general rule: give it at least a couple of weeks, but no more than two months.

2. Think about what went wrong. When giving a girl some freedom, don't sit back and watch the clock move. Instead, think about why things fell apart between you. If the reason is obvious, like you didn't spend enough time on it, great. But if the situation is more complex, for example, you did not let her know how much you appreciate her, and you spent too much time on parties, then you need to pinpoint the problems that caused feelings to cool down.

   • If the girl was the initiator of the breakup, then the problem is more serious. Think of all the reasons that could have pushed her to break up. If everything ended abruptly, look through your mail and text messages to find possible cause parting.
   • If you ended the relationship, it's a completely different matter. You need to convince the girl that you will not break her heart again.

3. Make a plan to solve the problem. Do you understand the essence of the problem? The decision is yours. If there are several problems, it is necessary to find several solutions, or one comprehensive solution that will solve each of them. If the relationship ended because you spent too much time with your friends, find ways to give the girl more attention by having weekly date nights and looking for more things to do together. And if the reason was your inability to communicate normally, bring honesty and empathy into everyday relationships.

   • First of all, you need to work on yourself. It's clear that you were not perfect in a relationship.
   • Change your attitude towards the girl. If her passion for horses is driving you crazy, find a way to not get so annoyed by it before you move on.
   • If there are many problems, draw up a long-term plan of action, whether it refers to psychotherapy, withdrawal from addiction, or a kind of overhaul of the soul.

4. Work on yourself. Even if you think you've pinpointed the problem and found a solution that will instantly get your girlfriend back, nothing comes easy. Better work on becoming a more attractive person in general. And when you again appear in front of the girl, she will feel the difference. We are talking about both internal and external work on oneself. New hairstyle is unlikely to impress a girl, but the cheerfulness and conscious changes that you make to your image will make her pay attention to you.

   • Devote more time to your favorite hobbies, whether it's cycling or mechanics. When a person devotes himself to what he likes, he becomes more positive, and it becomes much more pleasant to communicate with him.
   • Develop a more positive attitude towards life. If a girl feels happier just by being around you, chances are she'll want to see you as often as possible.

   Make a girl want you back

   1. Show the girl that you are fine without her. If she finds out that you are completely unhappy, crying in public and shouting her name on every corner, she will forget about you faster than you can say that you miss her. Instead, let her know and see that you're having a great time every day without her. She will see you as an active, vital person, and will begin to wonder why you do not openly show that you miss her more and more.

      • Have fun in places where you are likely to meet her. Show that you are having fun with your friends, let her see you laughing and having fun, but don't overdo it.
      • When you see her out in public, like at a party, don't drop everything to run and ask how she's doing. Ultimately, approach her, but let her know what an active social life you have without her.

   2. Let her friends know that she needs you. Here's a fact for you: it's impossible to get a girl back if her friends don't stand up for you. If your friends don't like you because you've been too controlling, neglected, or just because you're a bad guy, then your goal is to convince them that you're not so bad, and then they will pass on this information. girl.

      • When addressing her friends, take the trouble to start a nice conversation and not seem too intrusive.
      • When communicating with her friends, do not immediately mention her. Although you can casually ask how she is doing and really let them know how hurt you are if you are able to be so vulnerable.

   3. When the time is right, slowly approach her. When enough time has passed and you are back in her field of vision, you need to slowly begin to return to her life. When you run into her, stop and talk for a couple of minutes, or at dinner casually place your tray next to her, or even text her if you know her favorite show is on TV.

      • Keep calm. Be nice to the girl, making it clear that you just want to remain friends. Do not bombard her with compliments on the second date after breaking up.
      • Once you start talking again, up the ante slightly. Offer her something simple, like coffee or preparing for a class in the library together. It's not the time for romance yet.

   4. Show how you have changed. Screaming "Look how I've changed!" - no need. Just spend more time with the girl so that she understands that you have changed your attitude towards life, if necessary. If she thought you were too messy, work on your appearance. If she's criticized you for being late all the time, make an effort to show up early for your next coffee date. Do not focus on what you have changed in yourself. Let the girl see for herself and she will be truly impressed.

      • Change should come naturally to you. Don't change anything just to appease the girl, otherwise everything will return to normal at the first opportunity.
      • If you feel like you actually hurt a girl when you dated, it's never too late to apologize. She will be touched that you thought so much about the relationship after it ended.

   5. Price yourself. Yes exactly. Even when you think you almost got the girl back, even when she finally realizes what a tidbit you are, it's not yet the time to declare your love. Instead, cast the line so that she understands that she still has to fight for your love, and not just throw herself into your arms. As you start seeing each other more and more often, don't forget that you don't have to be available all the time.

      • Disappear for a few hours and let her think about where you are. Yes, she's going crazy.
      • After dates, mention them without too much detail, and she will think that she can really lose you.

   6. Make sure she wants you back. Once you feel like you've got her attention and made her jealous, it's time to make sure she really wants you back before confessing your feelings. You don't have to be 100% sure about her feelings, but the more confident you are, the less you'll have to blush. Here are some signs of her desire to rekindle the relationship:

      • Pay attention to her body language. When you talk to her, does she lean closer to you and look into your eyes? Does she look down every time she gets embarrassed?
      • See if she's jealous. Does she ask if you're dating other women, or does she seem upset when you're with girls? If so, then she wants you to be with her only.
      • Watch, maybe she has started treating you like her boyfriend again. Does she hug you, compliment you, and ask you out with special enthusiasm?

   7. Confess your feelings. Once you've made sure she shares your feelings, there's no point beating around the bush. Find a time when you can be alone and a romantic place with the right atmosphere. Now look her in the eye and tell her how much you missed her and how much you want to be together again. You should not be humiliated, but you need to show that you thought a lot about the failed relationship, and now you are determined to change everything for the better.

      • Be persuasive. Show how much effort you put in to change instead of making empty promises.
      • Give her time. If she turns you down at first, don't get angry or disappointed. Remember, even if the girl wants you back, her emotional wounds may not have healed yet.
5. Don't take relationships for granted. Just because you're dating again doesn't mean you shouldn't rush to show the girl how much you love her.
6. Take your time. Treat the relationship like it's new instead of diving back into the old relationship. Do not spend all the time together, even if it was before the breakup.

7. Don't repeat mistakes. You don’t need to constantly think about unsuccessful relationships, but you need to be aware of what caused the breakup last time. If the reason was that you were spending too much time with your friends and you find yourself doing it again, settle down a bit. And if it all ended because of the girl’s act and everything repeats, have the courage to talk about it.

   • Remember how terrible you felt after making mistakes the first time. You don't want to feel that pain again.
   • If you feel like you can't be yourself without dooming the relationship, then you need to rethink your priorities.
   • Be confident. Remember, the girl loves you, not the meek version of you that needs her attention.

• Be shrewd. Evaluate your ex-girlfriend before doing anything - perhaps she has changed for better or worse. One way or another, you will either not like such changes, or it may become easier to return it.
• When spending time alone with your ex, don't openly insult her new boyfriend, as this will make your true intentions obvious and embarrassing.
• Put aside all disagreements and leave no issues unresolved before embarking on this mission.

Getting a girl back can be tricky, especially if your relationship ended on a minor note. However, if you think that there is an incredible connection between you, then it is worth collecting the cooled coals and trying to rekindle the extinguished flame. If you want a girl to want you back, give her time to remember and realize how amazing you are. And to understand how to do it, just follow the next steps.

Steps

Temporarily step aside

1. Give the girl some freedom. You may think that the best way to get a girl back is to fight for her with all your might and by any means, in fact, it's better to give her some respite than to immediately rush into battle. Unless she's in a serious relationship with another guy and you're determined to break them up, go easy on her, give her time to heal and evaluate the relationship with fresh eyes.

   • This does not mean that you need to cut off all ties, unless you think that is the best thing to do. But you should not write to her every five minutes or ask her to walk with you all the time, as you will only push the girl away.
   • If you leave her alone, she will most likely think of you too. She will think that she has not heard a word from you for some time. For a girl, this will mean that you are fine without her. This will intrigue and make her think about how you are doing there.
   • If she initiates meetings fairly early, that's good. But don't rush to get too close when you're together.
   • Giving a girl some freedom will make you look more mature. This will make her want you back even more.
   • Of course, you should not delay with active actions. Give the girl enough time to heal her wounds, but not too long to forget all the wonderful moments associated with you. Cases are different - trust your intuition. However, there is a general rule: give it at least a couple of weeks, but no more than two months.

2. Think about what went wrong. When giving a girl some freedom, don't sit back and watch the clock move. Instead, think about why things fell apart between you. If the reason is obvious, like you didn't spend enough time on it, great. But if the situation is more complex, for example, you did not let her know how much you appreciate her, and you spent too much time on parties, then you need to pinpoint the problems that caused feelings to cool down.

   • If the girl was the initiator of the breakup, then the problem is more serious. Think of all the reasons that could have pushed her to break up. If things ended abruptly, look through your email and text messages for a possible reason for the breakup.
   • If you ended the relationship, it's a completely different matter. You need to convince the girl that you will not break her heart again.

3. Make a plan to solve the problem. Do you understand the essence of the problem? The decision is yours. If there are several problems, it is necessary to find several solutions, or one comprehensive solution that will solve each of them. If the relationship ended because you spent too much time with your friends, find ways to give the girl more attention by having weekly date nights and looking for more things to do together. And if the reason was your inability to communicate normally, bring honesty and empathy into everyday relationships.

   • First of all, you need to work on yourself. It's clear that you were not perfect in a relationship.
   • Change your attitude towards the girl. If her passion for horses is driving you crazy, find a way to not get so annoyed by it before you move on.
   • If there are many problems, draw up a long-term plan of action, whether it refers to psychotherapy, withdrawal from addiction, or a kind of overhaul of the soul.

4. Work on yourself. Even if you think you've pinpointed the problem and found a solution that will instantly get your girlfriend back, nothing comes easy. Better work on becoming a more attractive person in general. And when you again appear in front of the girl, she will feel the difference. We are talking about both internal and external work on oneself. A new hairstyle is unlikely to impress a girl, but the cheerfulness and conscious changes that you make to your image will make her pay attention to you.

   • Devote more time to your favorite hobbies, whether it's cycling or mechanics. When a person devotes himself to what he likes, he becomes more positive, and it becomes much more pleasant to communicate with him.
   • Develop a more positive attitude towards life. If a girl feels happier just by being around you, chances are she'll want to see you as often as possible.

   Make a girl want you back

   1. Show the girl that you are fine without her. If she finds out that you are completely unhappy, crying in public and shouting her name on every corner, she will forget about you faster than you can say that you miss her. Instead, let her know and see that you're having a great time every day without her. She will see you as an active, vital person, and will begin to wonder why you do not openly show that you miss her more and more.

      • Have fun in places where you are likely to meet her. Show that you are having fun with your friends, let her see you laughing and having fun, but don't overdo it.
      • When you see her out in public, like at a party, don't drop everything to run and ask how she's doing. Ultimately, approach her, but let her know what an active social life you have without her.

   2. Let her friends know that she needs you. Here's a fact for you: it's impossible to get a girl back if her friends don't stand up for you. If your friends don't like you because you've been too controlling, neglected, or just because you're a bad guy, then your goal is to convince them that you're not so bad, and then they will pass on this information. girl.

      • When addressing her friends, take the trouble to start a nice conversation and not seem too intrusive.
      • When communicating with her friends, do not immediately mention her. Although you can casually ask how she is doing and really let them know how hurt you are if you are able to be so vulnerable.

   3. When the time is right, slowly approach her. When enough time has passed and you are back in her field of vision, you need to slowly begin to return to her life. When you run into her, stop and talk for a couple of minutes, or at dinner casually place your tray next to her, or even text her if you know her favorite show is on TV.

      • Keep calm. Be nice to the girl, making it clear that you just want to remain friends. Do not bombard her with compliments on the second date after breaking up.
      • Once you start talking again, up the ante slightly. Offer her something simple, like coffee or preparing for a class in the library together. It's not the time for romance yet.

   4. Show how you have changed. Screaming "Look how I've changed!" - no need. Just spend more time with the girl so that she understands that you have changed your attitude towards life, if necessary. If she thought you were too messy, work on your appearance. If she's criticized you for being late all the time, make an effort to show up early for your next coffee date. Do not focus on what you have changed in yourself. Let the girl see for herself and she will be truly impressed.

      • Change should come naturally to you. Don't change anything just to appease the girl, otherwise everything will return to normal at the first opportunity.
      • If you feel like you actually hurt a girl when you dated, it's never too late to apologize. She will be touched that you thought so much about the relationship after it ended.

   5. Price yourself. Yes exactly. Even when you think you almost got the girl back, even when she finally realizes what a tidbit you are, it's not yet the time to declare your love. Instead, cast the line so that she understands that she still has to fight for your love, and not just throw herself into your arms. As you start seeing each other more and more often, don't forget that you don't have to be available all the time.

      • Disappear for a few hours and let her think about where you are. Yes, she's going crazy.
      • After dates, mention them without too much detail, and she will think that she can really lose you.

   6. Make sure she wants you back. Once you feel like you've got her attention and made her jealous, it's time to make sure she really wants you back before confessing your feelings. You don't have to be 100% sure about her feelings, but the more confident you are, the less you'll have to blush. Here are some signs of her desire to rekindle the relationship:

      • Pay attention to her body language. When you talk to her, does she lean closer to you and look into your eyes? Does she look down every time she gets embarrassed?
      • See if she's jealous. Does she ask if you're dating other women, or does she seem upset when you're with girls? If so, then she wants you to be with her only.
      • Watch, maybe she has started treating you like her boyfriend again. Does she hug you, compliment you, and ask you out with special enthusiasm?

   7. Confess your feelings. Once you've made sure she shares your feelings, there's no point beating around the bush. Find a time when you can be alone and a romantic place with the right atmosphere. Now look her in the eye and tell her how much you missed her and how much you want to be together again. You should not be humiliated, but you need to show that you thought a lot about the failed relationship, and now you are determined to change everything for the better.

      • Be persuasive. Show how much effort you put in to change instead of making empty promises.
      • Give her time. If she turns you down at first, don't get angry or disappointed. Remember, even if the girl wants you back, her emotional wounds may not have healed yet.
5. Don't take relationships for granted. Just because you're dating again doesn't mean you shouldn't rush to show the girl how much you love her.
6. Take your time. Treat the relationship like it's new instead of diving back into the old relationship. Do not spend all the time together, even if it was before the breakup.

7. Don't repeat mistakes. You don’t need to constantly think about unsuccessful relationships, but you need to be aware of what caused the breakup last time. If the reason was that you were spending too much time with your friends and you find yourself doing it again, settle down a bit. And if it all ended because of the girl’s act and everything repeats, have the courage to talk about it.

   • Remember how terrible you felt after making mistakes the first time. You don't want to feel that pain again.
   • If you feel like you can't be yourself without dooming the relationship, then you need to rethink your priorities.
   • Be confident. Remember, the girl loves you, not the meek version of you that needs her attention.

• Be shrewd. Evaluate your ex-girlfriend before doing anything - perhaps she has changed for better or worse. One way or another, you will either not like such changes, or it may become easier to return it.
• When spending time alone with your ex, don't openly insult her new boyfriend, as this will make your true intentions obvious and embarrassing.
• Put aside all disagreements and leave no issues unresolved before embarking on this mission.

The question of how to understand that it is time to let a man go is never asked in consultations. And this is more likely due to the fact that women are often afraid to see the real picture of relationships, they are afraid to understand that there is really nothing to save and restore. And, as a result, they are afraid to change their lives.

In fact, fear in 90% of cases - main reason for which people are unhappy. Of course, this applies not only to relations between a man and a woman - it can be work, business, etc. But, no matter how scary we may be, sometimes (or rather, even very often) the “life lesson” of meeting with this particular person lies precisely in letting him go in time. So, let's deduce the formulas of signs together, when it's time to ... let go.

Man wants you to change

And not just changed, but changed for him.

A person should always strive for the best, for the ideal, for self-improvement. But we must do this according to the will of our own soul, according to our own desire, sensation. If a man begins to change you for himself, you lose, in fact, yourself. A wise decision would be to let go of such a man, while remaining herself, and not to save the relationship and play, at the same time, someone else's role for the rest of her life.

Words are just words. Every person is judged by their actions.

Often I have to hear the phrases: "he says ...", "he said ...". I have a question for you - what did he do from what he said? Dear women, remember: a man is judged by his actions! Just like that, and nothing else! Let him say whatever he likes, but if he did absolutely nothing of what he said, his words are worthless! And worthless for such a man. Drive him out of your life, because he will not bring anything good into it!

He said he wanted to leave... Maybe I should try to get him back?

Girls, women, girls, remember: You can't make a man love you! And they shouldn't do it. Stop humiliating yourself, stop making him love you. If a man loves, he will never let you doubt his feelings. Any person can enter your life and say "I love you", but not everyone is ready to prove it in practice. And very few are ready to carry this feeling through life. Moreover, if a man wants to leave, he will leave sooner or later, and no one and nothing will hold him back - neither you, nor your joint children, nor a joint business, nor a stamp in your passport.

Relationships are based only on physical intimacy

Here, many may object - they say, all relationships are built on this at once. And I agree - this is so ... After all, a man on a first date will never sincerely admire your three educations and knowledge in the space industry - all this, of course, is important, but now he will have only one thought inside him - whether he wants you or not, you attract its sexy or not.

However, now we are not talking about the first date - we are talking about relationships that have already taken place for more than one month or even a year. And here I want to tell you: if after 3 months of meetings a man is not interested in anything other than the sexual sphere, then it will always be so! And physical intimacy is the only thing that interests him in principle in you. If you need only this, it's not a question, of course. But if you are counting on the emergence of great love, I recommend that you take off your rose-colored glasses!

Trust is the basis of relationships

A full-fledged relationship is trust between partners. If your trust is constantly betrayed, there can be no relationship. And there is no need to look for excuses: he could not, it happened, but okay, etc. Don't be fooled! Run from this man!

Man underestimates you

Every person should know his own worth. And you should know it! You let a person into your life and gave him a piece of your soul, but he does not respect you, does not appreciate you, he thinks, as it often happens, that “Who needs you besides me - I’m out there, and you ...”, etc ... Do not allow yourself to be humiliated, do not allow yourself not to appreciate! Remove this person from your life!

And talk ... heart to heart?

This postulate must necessarily be true in a good relationship. If you don’t talk heart to heart with a man, if you don’t share your thoughts, experiences, the relationship will gradually come to naught. Remember that conflict, in which true feelings are expressed, can save relationships, and silence, on the contrary, can destroy them. Therefore, if there is no “direct dialogue” between partners, such relations should not be maintained.

One goal game: I am everything for him, and he is nothing for me

If a man does nothing for you, and you endlessly sacrifice your happiness, why keep such a relationship? If you allow him to take more from you than he gives, the harmonious balance in the relationship is rapidly violated. Relationships are work. Moreover, it is a joint work of two people. Therefore, it is better to be alone, but at the same time maintain pride, balance and energy, than to remain in a relationship that requires constant sacrifice from you!

Analyze your relationship with a man, look at them soberly, know your worth, respect yourself, and then you can move forward calmly! Do not waste your time on stupid relationships, and most importantly - believe that one day, the puzzle of your life will turn into one picture, and it will be filled with happiness!

The girl offered to leave ... Maybe - she was joking, she said in her hearts, in a temper? At this moment, a lot of thoughts run through your head - from high-flown "life has cracked" to everyday "there is no one to iron shirts." Turn on cognitive analysis and figure out what the girl means and how to proceed.

exponential gap

pause in relationship

parting true

Dating site selection

The girl offered to leave: what does it mean

If a girl wants to break up, the idea of ​​getting drunk or getting lost in the arms of another is a good idea, but not the best. First, wake up a psychologist, analyst and strategist in yourself to understand the reasons, which can be at least three.

exponential gap

With the words “That's it, I'm tired, we need to part,” which have flown from the lips at the moment of the fuse, they do not leave, but demonstrate emotions. The content of such “we need to leave” can be anything - I want to handle, I want a fur coat, there is little sex. Or corny PMS with its unmotivated destructive desires. Or a girl is testing you for manipulability. Or develops the practice of training (she left, you rushed after to fulfill the Wishlist).

You need to be a sensitive partner who knows how to understand the moods of his “half”. If, on the whole, the relationship is prosperous, without “mutual pains, troubles and insults,” as Mayakovsky wrote, there is no threat. How to get out of an awkward situation when you were kicked with a heel, we'll talk below.

Pause in a relationship

If the girl suggested breaking up, saying "We need to take a break, live separately, sort ourselves out," don't panic. It probably is. Women are brave and straightforward creatures. They say what they think. Pause means pause. Now, for some reason, she does not want to continue the relationship, but for some reason she cannot put a dot over the i.

Only you know why the girl took the toothbrush (but left some things) and went to sort herself out. It could be quarrels from scratch. Or she got bored in the company of your hopeless attempts to diversify her leisure time. Perhaps you bent your line and did not take into account her opinion. In general, say thank you that you didn’t stick a note with the words “I can’t take it anymore, I’m sorry” and didn’t sink into oblivion, like one of Carrie’s suitors from the Sex and the City series, but honestly talked to you, although she left behind a feeling of slight understatement.

parting true

Sometimes girls decide to break up seriously, having accumulated enough reasons for a break in their memory or, worse, having met a more convincing male. Here it is important to understand the following. A girl going nowhere is tormented by doubts to the last. And at this very moment, while she weighs and analyzes the correctness of the act, everything can be changed. There were stories when a man became and a girl got attached tightly.

If the reason for leaving was a competitor who, apparently, beat you, there is practically no chance. At least until they have a candy-bouquet period. But something can be done even in this hopeless situation.

The girl asked to leave: how to act

So, she staged an exemplary breakup by turning on the “you are to blame” option. If you are really to blame, and she appetizingly ate your brain out about it, take note of the entire list of reproaches, lower your eyes and hug her. In principle, the incident is over. The question is - do you need such a bitch who will continue to point to the door for every misconduct or slam it loudly? Need - bend over. Admit your fault. And if not, get better, stronger and taller. If tricks with leaving occur regularly and out of the blue, report that the door opens in one direction.

Do not take her irrational lamentations to heart, but pay attention to real claims. In the absence of real claims, firmly and confidently stop manipulation.

Now about the pause in the relationship. Remember this: a pause is not just a pause. If a girl says “we part for a while”, it should be understood that after this time her ideas about you will not fundamentally change. The problem will not resolve itself. The past with all its grievances will not go anywhere. Therefore, right now, during a pause, it is important to tighten up in order to revive the relationship. And if you continue to be a “mattress” and a “male dog”, even the feeling that flared up again after separation will evaporate faster than boiling water.

Find out what caused the "pause". Admit you didn't live up to her expectations. Let them know that you value the relationship and want to keep it. During the "pause" continue to be attentive, sympathetic and caring.

In half the case, the suspension of relations ends with their complete termination. However, 50% is a good chance not to give up.

If a girl wants to leave forever and reports this not in the process of beating the services, but over a cup of coffee in a cafe where she invited you herself, she probably nurtured the idea for a long time and thoroughly. Approximately three months, psychologists say. It is important to understand whether the horse is dead or not. It's time to get down or you can spur. But there is no need to go too far, turning from " young man ordinary" into a written boyfriend who shows the highest degree of care and attention. Maintaining the degree of maximum return (time, money and effort) will not work for a long time, and she will still leave, having, of course, enjoyed your gentlemanly agony.

If another young man became the cause of the breakup, save face, wish her happiness. Show that you respect her choice. Let me know if you're ready to rekindle the relationship. Give thanks for everything.

Saving face in any situation is a quality that many modern men lack. “Saving face” means looking like a winner even when you actually lose.

Broke up with a girl: how to forget and start living

Let go of the past, get the future. This is the answer to the question "what to do if the girl broke up with me." Start small - delete her phone number, unfriend her on social media, and stop following her there. And here's a couple more practical advice in the heading "broke up with a girl, how to forget."

• Scientists have found that the gap provokes the production of adrenaline in the body. This is a genetically determined reaction to stress with accompanying symptoms - headache, fatigue and anxiety. Getting rid of excess adrenaline is easy - lace up your sneakers and go to the gym.
• Do you feel empty? Load the fridge with delicious food. Tryptophan products, found in cheese, fish, meat, mushrooms and nuts, will help to cope with depression and blues. Caffeine, vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids have antidepressant properties. A cup of coffee with chocolate, a good steak or grilled salmon is what you need right now.
• In general, congratulations. You are the lucky one who had the opportunity to start life from scratch and do what he wanted to do before, but it didn’t work out due to a banal lack of time (the relationship of the resource is time-consuming). It's called freedom. Enjoy it, old man.

So, if a girl offered to leave - do not believe, do not be afraid, do not ask. “I respect your decision, but I want to save our relationship,” such an answer from you will at least discourage her. And even if everything is serious, and she really leaves, remember, there are no dead ends in life. There are traps that we drive ourselves into. And only the one who looks up, conquers the peaks.

Question to the psychologist:

Hello, my name is Alexander, I'm 21 years old. I have not been very lucky in my life: my mother died after 3 years of battling kidney failure when I was 13; my father drank and beat me constantly, gave me no rest; I had 3 close people who helped me: my aunt (mother's sister), a childhood friend with whom I lived in the same house and a friend from school. I have been dating a girl for the last 3 years. We met at the university and it so happened that we studied at 1 faculty in 1 stream. I fell madly in love with her. For the first half of the year, we talked a lot, shared our opinions, talked about eternal questions , then they began to spend more and more time together and decided to meet. At that time, she was in a hopeless relationship with a guy she had been dating for 3 years, they had not seen each other for weeks, did not communicate, he offended her, etc. I helped her get out of that relationship and entered into a relationship. A period began when we did not see anyone but each other, I spent almost all the time with her and I liked it. I was crazy about her and often she came to my house and at one time even lived. Her parents also took me very well and therefore I spent all the holidays and events in her family. This went on for more than a year, until I fell into a severe depression. A lot of negative events happened at one moment: my father went into a binge and began to attack my grandmother (his mother), my mother's sister was in the hospital and the doctors said that nothing good could be expected, a very close friend moved abroad, a friend got married and her husband forbade her to communicate with me, I also realized that I look very bad, that, in fact, I can’t do anything, any of my attempts to do something ended in failure. There was also chaos at home: a neighbor from above flooded me and a small fire broke out in my apartment. I understood that these were my problems and did not want to share them with the girl, fearing that she would not want to meet with me after that. I drove myself and thought about committing suicide, then I didn’t even tell about my intentions and she said that she wanted to come, but I refused, saying that if she came, I wouldn’t open it for her. This hurt her very much and she took it as a betrayal (she said so). I got over it all thanks to her, but she no longer wanted to talk. I began to come up with plans for how to make peace with her and how to continue the relationship. Then I decided that I would come to her with flowers and ask for forgiveness. For the future, I made a plan that immediately after the university I would offer her to move in with me and marry me. A month later, I was able to reconcile with her, but everything changed a little: we began to see each other less, talk less, she began to pay more attention to other people, our meetings very often turned into just intimacy. I felt very bad, I did not know how to find a place for myself. I didn't know what to do. Without realizing it, I began to reproach her for the fact that we began to communicate less, she pays less attention to me and stuff like that. I walked around very upset and felt bad, she didn't seem to take it seriously. Then a new semester began and I stopped talking to her there, she constantly spent time with her friends, but still we talked when I went to her house. This was the case until mid-December. In mid-December, she was offered to participate in a development project. She dreamed about it for a long time, I knew it and gave her complete freedom. New Year we spent together and it seemed to me that this project breathed into our relationship new life. But I now understand that she only liked the project and her improvement in relations with me was simply due to her mood. We began to see each other and communicate even less. There were only 2 in the new semester school days and she was constantly at home and doing the project. I visited her, but she did not react to me in any way. I decided to talk to her about it, she offered to choose a time for our meetings, but for some reason I refused. I couldn’t cope with negative feelings in myself and seeing her 2 times at the project, I just demonstratively left. The second time she stopped me, I realized that I was doing terrible things and asked for forgiveness, reassured her and somehow we reconciled. She continued to work on the project and I did not get into it until I found out that she was traveling to Moscow with the guys from the project. I was very jealous and had no idea what to do. On Thursday I found out that she was going to some concert with some guys and decided to talk to her. We talked for several hours, walking down the street, I raised the topic of our relationship, once I even said that we needed to leave, she said that she did not know what was happening to her and she needed to think about the reasons for this. After this conversation, we went home, she did not go to the concert. On the bus, I realized that I shouldn’t have done this, because this is her favorite pastime, I tried to rectify the situation, but she said that she needed to think. And then on Friday evening ... she gave the answer that she could not forgive that betrayal and no longer felt anything for me. I did not believe what I read and went to her at night. Arriving, she began to talk about all this in tears, I could not answer anything concretely and simply asked her not to part with me. We talked all night. I was either filled with anger and resentment, or love and desire to return her. I said a lot of things, most without even realizing it. In the end, she said that she did not want this to happen again, that she did not believe me and did not want to date. In the morning I went home almost crying. I didn’t know what to do and wrote her different thoughts that I love her, that she is the most precious thing for me, that I can’t imagine life without her, that I can’t let her go. In the end, she decided that if her parents give us a chance, then she will allow, but no ... They said that they should have left during my depression, that they didn’t like my attitude to things, that I pulled very hard and I couldn’t interest her, that I lost it and we need to leave. My conversation with her father went smoothly: I explained the situation, he said that he had nothing against me, but his daughter's well-being was important to him. I told her that I love her very much and I can not let go. Today I am in complete despair, I feel very bad. I wrote to her about this, that I couldn’t do it without her, to which she said that it’s hard to be with me, I have a very complex character that she doesn’t understand. That I have chances for the future and do not ruin them. That after parting with her, I will become stronger, smarter. That I will find more people who will appreciate, love and respect me. I don’t know what to do, I love her very much and don’t want to lose her, I can’t imagine how to live without her. I began to think about suicide again and continue to write to her about my feelings, but she says that it's too late. Without her, I'm completely alone. How can I deal with this situation? How to return the relationship? Or how to forget about them?

The psychologist Ekaterina Alexandrovna Markelova answers the question.

Good afternoon, Alexander. Yes, yes, it’s kind, and that’s exactly what every day should be for you! Life is something for which it’s worth waking up every day, smiling and enjoying it. LIFE IS ONE AND IT WILL BE WHAT YOU MAKE IT...

At the very beginning of the letter, you say that you were not very lucky in life, but if you look at it from the other side, this may not be so. Of course, the loss of a loved one is always a trauma for our soul, but there were people close to you who We were able to support and comfort you.

I re-read your letter several times, and most importantly, those questions that you would like to find an answer to. Breaking up a long-term relationship is always painful, but the main thing is to stop and drive yourself into a corner. friend, lived with each other, breathed the same air, and suddenly something broke, something went wrong. But this is life and no one is to blame. she will want to find out how you are doing. Try to devote more time to your favorite business, relax, meet new people, reconsider your attitude to the current situation.

And most importantly, you are still so young, you have your whole life ahead of you! Appreciate this time, there is only one youth! Life is priceless, be above your thoughts, appreciate life!

4.4 Rating 4.40 (5 votes)