It's easy to be offended by someone who hurt you. But what The best way put everything in its place? What kind of revenge that is served cold are you thinking about?

You are offended, and it is unpleasant.

You want to take it out on the person who offended you. This is a natural reaction from anger and indignation, which causes pain.

You do not want to be "sit on the neck." This seems unfair and you don't want to take it too far.

You want to be respected.

Are you worried about negative consequences your revenge.

So why not do what, at first glance, seems right?

A few reasons why revenge is not best idea

1. Revenge will not make you feel better. The principle of "an eye for an eye" will leave the whole world blind. You will only sink to a deeper and deeper level, falling into a vicious circle of negative feelings.
2. Revenge spoils. You want to lash out at a person out of resentment against him, but by doing so, you will offend him too. Your relationship will deteriorate. You can refer to the fact that “he was the first to start”, but by this you also make your contribution. You can say that you don't care - you don't want to be in a relationship with a person who can hurt you, and you will be right. Just make sure you don't say it in a fit of anger, but are calm enough to be able to make a rational assessment of the situation.
3. You allow yourself to succumb to the first impulse and fear. The desire for revenge is not the desire for a better way out of the situation. It is a reaction, an impulse born in anger. It leads to impulsive decisions and problems such as distraction, procrastination, internet or video game addiction. Instead, it's better to develop the habit of pausing, letting the fear subside, and considering what really is the best way out of the situation. We must not allow ourselves to get caught up in our own notions of what this person has done for us and how wrong he is.
4. Revenge will not make people respect you more. Taking out people in anger or fear is not the way to earn their respect. On the contrary, they will respect you less if your principle is “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”. And they may want to spend less time with you. However, respect is given to people who deal with problems in a mature, measured manner, with equanimity and compassion.
5. You will not become the best version of yourself. At first, that very impulse will create the desire to become something more than you are. In fact, what we can become is, of course, compassionate. She forgives, and does not act on the first impulse of anger. This is not easy, and therefore it is not worth setting yourself the goal of achieving the ideal - it is only a guide on how to act when we are able to look at things with awareness.

So, if retribution isn't the best idea, then what is?

A more humane approach

The compassionate method is better because:

• You become the best version of yourself.
• It helps you.
• You earn the respect of others by being more mature.
• It helps your relationship.
• This is an act of kindness towards another person who is obviously in trouble.
• It makes the world a better place, with every new good relationship.

You can disagree with these statements, but this approach works better.

1. Take a break instead of acting on impulse. Notice for yourself that you are ready to break out on a person in fear and anger. Breathe deeply. Take a time out. Think before you act.
2. Focus on your physical sensations. When you are angry or afraid, the belief comes into your head: “People are doing me wrong!” Instead of dwelling on this story, turn your attention to how it feels physically in the body. Where is this feeling located - in the chest, stomach, neck, face? What physical sensations can you notice? Stay with these feelings for as long as possible, returning to them as soon as you notice that you start repeating in your head “Why do people behave this way?”
3. Expand your point of view to see where the difficulty lies. As soon as you stop dwelling on the arguments that sound in your head, you can understand the position of the other person. Did he have a hard day? Does he go through any difficulties? Feeling fear or anger? This perspective will allow you to feel compassion for the person because of the situation they are in.
4. Ask: What can you do to support yourself and the other person? Is this a heart-to-heart talk? Is this the end of a relationship that hurts both of you? Is it bringing in a “third party” to help resolve the conflict? Is it listening to complaints? There are many options, try to consider those that do not come from your anger or fear, but from compassion.
5. What can you do to start respecting yourself more? No need to become “easy prey” for people who step over you. Compassion does not mean a lack of self-confidence—quite the opposite. Often you need to take action first to protect, or at least stand up for yourself, and then you will not be offended. It is not very compassionate towards yourself to remain silent when you are hurt. But at the same time, you will be able to respect yourself more if you clarify your problems in a relaxed way. Or set your personal boundaries firmly but without anger.
6. How can you show love to another person? It can be an opportunity to listen, to give hugs, to show that you care. But it can also be letting go if your relationship isn't making them happy. Or creating a temporary space so that the person cools down a bit (and you too). There are many options, and the best of them will be the one in which there is room for love and respect for yourself.

All this is not easy. But it is also not easy when the escalation of retribution destroys relationships, it is not easy to cope with resentment and anger at oneself. It is not easier to achieve compassion, but the effort is worth it - it will bring more happiness to each of the parties to the conflict.

We have all heard about the “blood feud”, which is part of the national characteristics of some ethnic groups, and also about the fact that this bitter dish should be served cold. So what is revenge and is it really necessary to take revenge?

Definition

By revenge, psychologists understand both the desire to restore justice (subjective, imaginary), and the desire for inner harmony lost in connection with this or that event. In all cases, this is a complex of strong emotions - resentment, fear, insecurity, hatred, and not rational behavior. Therefore, any revenge is inappropriate and unfair in its methods of implementation.

For representatives of different sexes, the reasons for revenge are different circumstances. There are also different methods of revenge. However, in all cases, according to experts, people who are deprived of self-confidence and attractiveness prefer to take revenge. Self-respecting people choose forgiveness or ignorance.

Reasons for female revenge

Women appreciate the warmth of the hearth, so they avenge betrayal. And, as a mistress, and her husband. There are a lot of ways to "annoy". The less self-confident a woman is, the more insidious her methods are. And often - even more stupid. Husbands are revenged by reciprocal betrayal. Mistresses - and spreading rumors, and damage to property, and custom-made beatings.

For women, the loyalty of friends is also important. If her companies chose to go to a restaurant with a gentleman or bought the very dress that was planned to be purchased from the next paycheck, then there is a reason not to answer the phone, intrigue and put pressure on the most sore spots. And the real reason here is not resentment, but envy.

Otherwise - an abundance of psychological complexes and the inability to honestly come to the desired result.

In addition, the desire for revenge can be attributed not to a specific person, but to the whole world. If a woman has been taken away from a child, parents or a loved one, then in a depressed state she is capable of harming a large number of people. Such a component is singled out, in particular, when finding out the reasons that push women to become suicide bombers.

Reasons for male revenge

Men, as a rule, do not envy. Revenge becomes for them an attempt to regain honor, to get rid of shame. And they do not act spontaneously, like ladies, but take a long time to make a decision. Therefore, the actions are more thoughtful and cruel.

A common reason for revenge is a grudge against adults hidden from childhood. If the boy was suppressed, his feelings and desires were ridiculed, then in adulthood he will not miss the chance to prove to the world that he is ready to stand up for himself. And the reason may be banal.

For example, his advances were rejected and his appearance ridiculed. The answer can be either telling everyone you meet implausible stories that discredit the honor of the lady, or violence. For example, history knows many cases when acid and weapons were used.

In general, the stronger the uncertainty and resentment, the less reason for the actions denoted by the term " revenge”, and the higher the price that the second participant in the conflict has to pay.

The result of revenge

Let's assume that the plan is implemented. The culprit of troubles was overtaken by vengeance. What can this lead to?

• To the final break in relations;
• To criminal liability;
• To the appearance of guilt for what they have done.

And now everyone must decide for himself: is it worth revenge? Psychologists are sure that it is not worth it.

How to behave correctly?

1. Calm down and think again about the words or actions of the opponent. Try to put yourself in the place of the person who offended you. Perhaps in his actions and thoughts there was initially no desire to harm you;
2. If revenge seems like the only sure way to get rid of the problem, imagine that you have already taken revenge. You can write a story with a fictional ending or beat up a pillow that symbolizes the offender. It is important to get rid of negative emotions;
3. Talk and ask specific questions. Most likely, the answers you get will be very different from what you imagined;
4. Analyze your own behavior. There is always a risk that it was you who provoked the person to certain actions.

Remember: your resentment may be far-fetched, but the results of revenge are always materials. Do not complicate your life by communicating with unworthy people and committing ugly deeds!

Each of us has been in this place - victims of cruel or unfair treatment - and we wanted to "revenge". I hope these moments are mostly left in childhood, and as adults, we left them behind.

But it doesn't always happen that way. Sometimes our grievances are so deep that deep down we want our "offenders" to suffer the same way we suffered. We want to see that they "received what they deserved", and even hope that the words "as you sow, so shall you reap" apply to our enemies. We believe that evil should come to evildoers as justice.

There are countless stories, books and films about a poor cowboy (or insert any other hero here) who finally finds the one who killed his brother (father, sometimes mother) and takes revenge on him with pleasure. Only then - as we think - the injured party can breathe easy.

There is only one problem: in real life this does not happen.

Back in the 1960s, psychologists conducted studies proving that people who managed to get revenge on the offender, in fact, did not end up feeling better. This is due to the fact that revenge increases aggression. As we replay in our minds and grind over the injustice that has happened, its size seems to grow larger and larger. We take care of our wound until it spreads throughout the body and infects it.

Experts also noted that revenge can create a vicious circle. Inevitably, the person you're taking revenge on doesn't think it's proportionate at all - you obviously overdid the punishment, it turned out to be much more than the "crime" itself, and now he believes that he must do something to balance the scales. And so on, until, as Gandhi said, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Psychologists have also found that people don't feel better when criminals finally die. The family members of the bombing victims remain as heartbroken as ever. And the more they think about revenge, the worse they feel. They may say, "I'm glad he got what he deserved," but there is no peace and joy in their description of how they feel. In those moments when they are alone with themselves, they still suffer. They are still crying. "Revenge" does not bring desired results. Wishing death or suffering for another only makes you like your enemy. And, deep down, it does not bring joy and satisfaction.

People stuck in the teen mentality may feel that settling scores will somehow preserve your honor and show the world that you won't back down so easily. This will make it clear to others that "he who jokes with the bull will fall on his horns." But this offensive, distrustful, ready to fight position does not bring deep and lasting happiness.

In her book, The Power of Forgiveness: Why Revenge Isn't Satisfying, Judith Orloff says, "Forgiveness is the act of mercifully letting go of the desire to punish someone or yourself for a crime." And while it is natural to feel angry, “revenge makes you worse, it puts you on the same level as the evil people we claim to despise. In addition, studies have shown that revenge increases stress and undermines health and immunity. Of course, if someone hits you with a stick, you have a desire to hit him back, which is the basis for war. In order to evolve personally, and as a human race, we must confront this unpredictable desire for revenge, and strive to rectify the situation in a more positive way. This is not a show of weakness; it is simply a refusal to act in the habitually destructive way that leaves all peace. As Confucius said, "Before you embark on the path of revenge, dig two graves."

This does not mean that we continue in abusive relationships, or let drug addicts ruin us. Obviously, we will act to protect ourselves. But in our hearts, we must act as Jesus Christ instructed and turn the other cheek. We may seek to understand how badly this man was brought up, or what severe traumas he must have endured that made him so cruel. Often pity can take the place of resentment.

If we can't find a path to forgiveness, we will essentially let the villain continue to poison our lives. As President Henry B. Eyring said:

“We must forgive in order to be forgiven. To wait for others to repent so that we can forgive and repent is to allow them to choose for us a delay that could cost us our happiness here and in eternity.”

If we choose better way then we can then invest that energy into positive growth, into filling our lives with things that truly bring joy. It's hard, but like many hard things, it's worth it.

Instead of giving in to the suffering of the victim, we can turn our backs on injustice. We can refuse to turn parody into tragedy.

In the great 6th chapter of the Gospel of Luke, where Christ teaches us to turn the other cheek and be merciful, He says: “But to you who hear, I say: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who despitefully use you” (from Luke 6:27-28).

A ray of sun breaks through the tightly drawn curtains, it's time to get up. The motherland is waiting. A day is like a day, ordinary, like thousands of days that have already passed and thousands of days to come. The wife is still sleeping, or pretending to be asleep, she just doesn't want to show signs active life. Okay, I will not wake up, let him continue to pretend. The usual procedure for morning exercise, brushing your teeth, putting your hair in order and other small, but such important actions. Through the noise of the water I hear how my wife went to the kitchen, the boiling kettle whistled, the apartment was filled with the smell of coffee.

Good morning, dear, is a light kiss that does not allow you to use it to the detriment of business and arrange an unscheduled day off instead of work. – The space for self-expression is free.
I head to the kitchen, where the aroma of freshly brewed coffee spreads in waves, against the background of the gloomy smell of the apartment waking up from sleep.

An exclamation comes from the bathroom:
- How many times can you say that you would close the tube of your toothpaste, I don’t use yours, I have a woman’s.
Damn, I forgot to close again.

Take it and close it, why again start the morning with the distribution of duties. Is it really just impossible to do something instead of me, without discussion? - Uel, already got these nitpicks. Say something else - I'll put this cap in her .....

Some kind of disgusting coffee today, or disgusting now it’s supposed to be written, what I demonstrate today: intelligence and a high level of education, or I don’t demonstrate anything. I don’t want to tell my wife about this, the day didn’t work out anyway, or rather, I just want to, but I won’t add additional irritants.

I leave the entrance, the driver drives up.

Again, the wheels of the car are dirty. How many times will I talk about this - I already tell my driver.
- The sink is being repaired, I didn’t have time, - he answers. “While you are in the office, I will go to the nearest one and wash it.”
- Let's go to the office. We are late, come on within the limits of the permissible and possible - quickly.

The city, as always, is packed with cars, so the limits of what is possible are very limited.

Be careful, you cut the car on the right, and it flew into a big puddle. It's a Mercedes General! Where are you looking! You don't know the General's car. We're leaving faster, maybe they didn't have time to look at our room, otherwise I'll have more problems that day.

The work day has begun. Secretary Svetochka enters:
- The General asked you to come in.
- Why didn’t he call, what’s with his mood.
- Angry as hell, someone drove him into a puddle on the way to work, a gray MERCEDES, like yours.
Did he remember the number?
- His secretary says no, I don't remember.

I am met by a gloomy General, nervously pushing a half-smoked cigarette into an ashtray.
“What happened?” I ask.
- Some idiot cut on the way to work, my driver flew into a puddle. Gray Mercedes, like yours. How did you get to work today? Not along Mytnaya?
- No, of course, I was driving along Leninsky, - it passed, I think.
- Okay, let's get to work. I gave you an order a month ago to find a new supplier, did you fulfill it? Will you all finally work or will you pretend to work? Olga, where is the coffee? Twenty minutes ago he said do it! What a day.

It began ... An ordinary day, of which there are many, is no worse and no better than other days.
Or maybe you should go back to the bathroom, kiss your wife behind the ear, as she loves it, and close the cap of toothpaste yourself?
- Sorry, dear, I forgot to close it again.

Or she might just as well have done it herself.
Revenge or forgive? How to make a choice from the available options, which is easier?

An unscrewed cap of toothpaste, as an irritant object, generates the spread of two waves of negative psychic energy from one apartment in a big city, after all, the hero's wife also went to the city as a result. How many such apartments are in the city and how many such caps, which become the last drop, the fall of which on a mirror of water, generates the spread of a wave in all directions. And there is also the interference of waves, as a law of physics that describes their addition. As a result, a few unscrewed caps - and the city is ready to stop from the surging irritation and the desire to pass this irritation on, get rid of it, get relief and restore balance. If there is still a city outside the apartment, then there is nothing outside the city. Of course, there is a country, but the city does not have a direct connection with the country, there is only a communication connection, and the wave will definitely use it, but it will take more time. Therefore, the wave "reflects" from the walls of the city and goes in the opposite direction. It covers everyone who got rid of irritation by passing it on to their neighbor, a second time and everything repeats again ....

Any outstanding wave is no longer distributed according to the laws of psychology, but according to the laws of physics.

AT Soviet times it has always been customary to consider extreme options for any situation, for example: what if he was carrying cartridges or - what if tomorrow there is a war... destruction. Horror ... it's good that there is no longer an installation: what if there is a war tomorrow ..... Or maybe they just began to tell wives where their husbands work? And then - secret physicists, secret chemists ...

The form of communication of the Count of Monte Cristo with his offenders is revenge, a term that no one doubts. An unscrewed cap of toothpaste - needs something, or an exclamation in line: you were not standing here. How to designate a response? Also revenge? Does the scale of the intended consequences affect the terminology? If the consequences are catastrophic for the offender - this is revenge, if they are insignificant - is this still not revenge or is it no longer revenge? Most likely, in all cases, this is revenge, and you should not invent anything: inflicting physical or mental harm as a response to the received. Is it possible to convince a person not to take revenge on his offenders? Yes, of course, just like not killing them. There are 10 commandments for this: “do not kill”, “do not steal” ...., there is no prohibition on revenge. Therefore, there is nothing to keep a person from revenge. This is his personal choice. We have to wait for the next trip of Moses to the mountain and receive an additional 11th commandment.

And yet, what to do with verbally or non-verbally received psychic energy of an irritating nature, causing a feeling of resentment, without considering the causes and mechanisms of its occurrence?

Option one: transfer it back to the source, after amplifying it. Guided by the principle: if you have been offended, what prevents you from taking revenge and offending the offender in return is a sacred thing. Of course, we are not talking about the passions of the level of the Count of Monte Cristo and the answers that destroy the life of the offender. It is quite enough to answer the phrase “twist the cap”: “I could twist it myself” - the ball is already on the field of its launcher. And then the verbal ping-pong begins. The one who answers last, or answers stronger, wins. If the forces are equal, both will lose and go looking for weaker players on the side.

Option two: do not transfer it back, dissolve it in yourself. Oh, how not easy to wrap the cap yourself, if others have already been told 10 times that it needs to be wrapped. Or having heard 11 times - come, kiss your wife behind the ear and wrap - forgive such a minor offense as a phrase said with irritation.

What is easier - to repel the "strike" of psychic energy, or to dissolve it in oneself? Or not one or the other, but to find a third way: skip the blow past yourself? But how?

This is not aikido, you cannot direct the force of the opponent’s blow against him, as a rule, the “death fight” is not with a real “distant” opponent, but with a “near” ally who temporarily turned out to be on the enemy’s side.

Dissolve the blow in yourself? Health is not iron, if this is done hourly. Where can I get the strength for this, not to mention - where can I get the rules for performing such a technique for this? "Thou shalt not kill"? So no one was going to kill anyone, the situation is simpler - who will twist the cap?

Maybe the door of the apartment with a key, at the computer, into the network. On the avatar - a photo of a small nocturnal animal with large eyes bulging from fear, instead of a last name and first name - an arbitrary phrase, and go ahead, comment on posts, distribute the received for the day negative energy in waves coming from superiors, people who are physically stronger, from everyone to whom it is impossible to transfer it back. And in the network - who will catch me? Here I am an elusive avenger, I will bring everyone to clean water, I will explain to everyone where the crayfish hibernate and Kuz'kina's mother spends the night. But what peace will come as a result .... grace ... And tomorrow back to work and all over again.

Now what are you tapping on the "clave"?
Another comment: “That’s why I don’t like the discoverers of banal Americas, there is no practical benefit and help from them, only snot.” Maybe not worth it? This is clearly not the third, but the first way.

And if he still carried cartridges

Methodical development class hour on the topic

"Forgiveness or revenge?"

1. Explain the impact of resentment on relationships.

2. Identify the reasons for unforgiveness.

3. Encourage forgiveness and build relationships with each other.

Equipment

computer, multimedia projector.

classroom plan

hours

1. Organizational moment

2 minutes

2. Reporting the goals of the class hour, updating and motivating students' activities

5 minutes

3.Main part

30 minutes

4. Behavior of the results of the class hour, reflection

3 minutes

Class hour progress

Organizing time

Game "Yes - No"

Classroom teacher asks questions, and students answer positively or negatively in the answer sheet that lies in front of them.

Do you like jokes?

Have you ever played a joke on your friend?

You don't like being teased?

Did you get nicknames?

Do you know the continuation of the phrase: "Put up, put up and more ..."?

Have you ever asked for forgiveness when you offended someone?

Have you ever been wrong in an argument?

Do you agree that “they carry water on the offended”?

Do you respond to malicious words with a joke?

Did you forgive when you were offended?

Summarize: what is more “yes” or “no”.

Reporting the goals of the class hour, updating and motivating students' activities

Classroom teacher:

Relationships between people are rarely smooth all the time. Every now and then resentment arises. In some cases, this happens by accident, in others - people offend each other intentionally. Resentment hurts. How to deal with it? How should I treat people who offended me, especially if it happened intentionally? We will talk about all this today at the class hour, the theme of which is “Forgiveness or revenge?”.

slide1

Main part

Classroom teacher: First question . What are the reasons for unforgiveness?

slide2

Answers can be displayed on a slide and asked to explain the mainthe reasons :

1) selfishness (a person perceives insult as an insult to his personality, this revolts him, offends him, infringes on his self-esteem, all thoughts are directed at his person, busy with his feelings, experiences, believes that the offender should be the first to come up and ask for forgiveness);

2) pride (this feeling requires retribution, retribution, revenge);

3) thirst for justice (until the offender has been punished, the person considers himself entitled to be offended by him);

4) pride (before forgiving, a person wants the offender to run after him, begging for forgiveness, suffer as he suffered, experience the same pain, etc.);

5) low self-esteem (for such people, to forgive would mean lowering the bar of self-esteem even lower, as well as losing the sympathy of others);

6) pain from hurt (the very thought of resentment hurts, a person does not want to remember this pain, especially if the wound is too deep and you want to forget about it, hiding the pain far inside yourself);

7) the opinion of others (there is a misconception about forgiveness in the world, the surrounding life is full of negative examples of retribution, which is even more cultivated in movies, friends justify non-forgiveness as support, consider this attitude fair);

8) attitude of friends (a person is afraid that if he forgives, friends or people around him will not understand and reject him);

9) inability to forgive oneself (a person tends to transfer criticism from himself to other people - what you don’t like about yourself is difficult to perceive in others);

10) inability to forgive (a person does not know what forgiveness is, he may be mistaken, believing that he has already forgiven, but in fact, he still harbors resentment in the depths of his soul).

Classroom teacher: - What is forgiveness?

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To explain, you can go from the opposite: to find out what forgiveness is not:

1) understanding the motives, explaining and justifying the actions of the offender (this is not enough for forgiveness, it is necessary to make a decision, release the pain from the heart);

2) forget everything (some people think that over time, the offense itself is erased from the soul, it is forgotten, especially if you don’t think about it; but burying pain in yourself does not bring spiritual healing; time cannot forgive instead of a person, it only helps to cope with the offense, but does nothing on its own.)

3) a lack of understanding that someone is offended (perhaps the offense has long been forgotten, but still affects the mental state, interferes with relationships with people, creates internal complexes, tightness, anxiety, etc.; such, for example, there are grievances caused in childhood by the bad attitude of parents, etc.);

4) denial of the fact of resentment (when a person does not even admit to himself that he was offended by someone, as if nothing had happened, but suffers on a subconscious level because of unforgiveness living in his soul);

5) the words “I have forgiven you” (a person can say this, but continue to be offended; some people think that thanks to their confession, resentment and pain will automatically go away, but this most often does not happen).

slide4

Classroom teacher: - What does it mean to forgive? Unforgiveness refers to the inner state of a person. It wounds the most offended, causing him pain, even if sometimes he does not realize it.

slide5

Unforgiveness brings unrest and anger that poisons the soul and leads to revenge. Unforgiveness destroys communication with people and prevents them from being established.

Classroom teacher: Second question . How do I know if I have forgiven the offender or not?

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Take out with the groupsigns unforgiveness:

1) chagrin (if this feeling arises every time a case of insult is remembered);

2) complaints (a person often recalls a case of insulting in order to complain about the offender);

3) despondency (dissatisfaction with life circumstances leads to this feeling, and the reason may be hidden in unforgiven resentment);

4) alienation (lack of desire to communicate with the offender - a person begins to avoid meeting with him; the presence of someone who once hurt is simply unbearable; a person says: “I forgave you everything, but don’t come near me again”, this indicates unforgiveness);

5) claim for damages (when a person is ready to forgive only if the damage caused to him is compensated, for example, the offender must pay money or purchase some thing, give a gift, publicly admit his guilt, kneel, etc.; if this does not happen, the offense is so and continues to sit in the heart).

Classroom teacher: Third question . Do I have to forgive all wrongs? Or are there transgressions that should be punished by me?

slide7

Additional questions can be asked, such as:

How to treat terrorists or rapists? What if my close relatives and friends suffered as a result of their actions? Is it possible to forgive if severe physical or moral damage has been done?

As a moral absolute, forgiveness affects any act without exception. Since it concerns condemnation and punishment, no one has the moral right to take retribution himself. From this point of view, one must be able to forgive any offense, any offense, even if it caused irreparable damage (for example, disability, death of a loved one, etc.). Forgiveness is necessary first of all for us, for our peace of mind. Otherwise, the spiritual wound will never stop hurting.

Classroom teacher: Fourth question . How to learn to forgive insults?

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1. We must try to see unforgiveness in ourselves behind our dissatisfaction and spiritual discomfort and sincerely wish to be freed from it. Forgiveness is a voluntary decision of a person.

2. Think and remember the cases when I myself hurt other people in the same way that they hurt me now.

3. If in return I cause a person the same pain that he caused me, then I am no better than him and worthy of no less contempt than he.

4. Talk to a friend, someone about the existing problem and emotional conflict. Sincerity and honesty are very important in this conversation.

5. Try to reconcile with the person who caused the pain, improve relations with him, saying that he forgave him. Take the first step.

Behavior of the results of the class hour, reflection

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Classroom teacher: - In conclusion, I want to give you the words Paulo Coelho is a Brazilian prose writer and poet who said: “To forgive means to be able to go beyond revenge and justice…”

Slide 10

Remember! Unforgiveness is harmful, first of all, to the person who is offended. In his soul there are many unpleasant feelings that poison life. Therefore, having noticed an offense behind you, you should try to forgive your offender as soon as possible and reconcile with him. The decision to forgive or not is up to you, no one else will do it for you. Boomerang rule.

slide11

Learn to forgive conflicts and tears
For the loss of love, for crazy dreams,
And the actions of enemies that poisoned your life,
For the words of those people who loved, but lied.

Learn to forgive by letting go of resentment
Far from myself, so that they sail away forever,
So that they don’t scrape in the soul, like cats with claws,
Let the winds carry them far away.

Do not carry suitcases with stones,
Time sometimes heals those wounds with forgiveness,
That insults are branded on the heart,
Learn to forgive, it will be easier, believe me.