Is it worth it to forgive betrayal? Mandatory conditions! When and to whom - you should not forgive treason

Question from our reader - under what specific conditions can one forgive treason, and in what cases should this not be done in any case? Good question! I am sure that it occurs in many people who have been cheated on by their loved ones.

In fact, the answers will be of interest and useful to absolutely everyone - those who have been cheated on, those who have cheated, and those who have not been in such a situation, but want to save themselves from this fate.

Some good sayings about and :

Intelligence and courage are an empty sound if devotion is forgotten. Visakhadatta

Cheating on a friend is a crime
No excuse, no forgiveness. Lope de Vega

The loyalty of the rascals is as unreliable as they are. Pliny the Younger

Traitors are despised even by those they serve. Tacitus

When it is worth forgiving treason - 7 basic conditions!

1. Sincere repentance. If the one who changed - sincerely repented, if his conscience torments him and he deeply regrets his vile act, that is, he realizes the evil done - he can be forgiven.

2. Awareness of your sin! Ask a traitor (traitor) - what's wrong with committing treason? And listen to his (her) answer - it should be serious and deep, it should feel regret and repentance. If the betrayer really understands that betrayal is evil, he can potentially be forgiven.

3. The ability to keep a given word! Honesty! Look at the reputation and background of this person - whether he keeps his word or takes back his words when he wants to. If his word can be trusted, and he promised that he would never betray again, he can be forgiven.

4. It only happened once! If a person stumbled once, then the previous three conditions follow - he can be forgiven. And if he has cheated more than once, even if not to you specifically, he will continue to cheat, you should not forgive him, and you should not believe his promises.

5. You love him very much! If you don't like it, say goodbye to him without regrets. If you truly love, there are deep feelings, then you need to understand - analyze the previous four points.

6. He or she (the one who cheated) - loves you! If a person has changed because he loves another, and accordingly he no longer loves you, say goodbye without regret (even if you still have him). If he loves you and wants to correct the error, then there is a chance (see the previous paragraphs for further details).

7. A person has changed or is doing everything to change and become better! If a person does not want to work on himself, he cheated on a loved one out of weakness or because of a vice living in him - he has no chance, he will betray again! So that there is no more betrayal, so that a person can be trusted, he must change (work on himself), eliminate the cause of betrayal in himself (weakness, vice) and form devotion and reliability in his own character.

And if you want to find out more precisely for a specific person - is it worth it to forgive him and try to revive relationships with him (family) - work on this situation with. Write to me, we will help!

When and to whom - you should not forgive treason!

1. Someone who betrays regularly (more than 1 time)- you should not forgive, you need to say goodbye to this.

2. The one who does not understand why Cheating is evil and is not capable ofrepent, that is, does not want to admit what harm he causes by his betrayal - you can’t forgive. To forgive the unscrupulous is to indulge Evil.

3. Anyone who does not love and respect you is not worthy of forgiveness!

4. The one you no longer love! That is, these relations no longer have prospects.

5. Lustful males and harlots - do not forgive! They are afflicted with vice, and if for them the meaning of life is sex, not something higher and more worthy- nothing good awaits you in relationships with such people, they are more animals than people.

6. Those who do not change and do not want to work on themselves - do not forgive! A person may understand that cheating is bad, but he is too lazy to work on himself (eliminate his vices) or he is so weak that he is not able to resist temptations and his own lust - these need to be driven in the neck, they do not deserve either forgiveness or your attention . They never change.

7. Those who accuse you of committing treason, speaks - “It’s your fault (guilty)!”- do not forgive! With such a person in everything and always - you will be to blame! Do you need it?

I will say the following! That treason and relationships in general are very complex issues, often requiring individual attention, analysis of the entire situation piece by piece. Therefore, I always recommend in such situations - individual counseling, so that the Healer or Coach can understand what happened in more detail and take into account all individual characteristics. The right decisions are very unexpected!

Now I'm telling you who is who. Katya is my only friend, she is like a younger sister to me ... I have known her for a hundred years (our mothers and I are friends). Jonik is my friend...I love him very much (as a friend of course) he is very good, funny and kind to idiotic. And Sasha is Jonik's girlfriend, they have been together for almost 2 years and I always thought that they were just the perfect couple. Well, since I recently stopped walking with them, Katya became very friends with Sasha ... Sasha always says that Katya is very close to her, that this is the only person she trusts 100%.

After our conversation with Katya, I felt somehow uncomfortable. Somehow it became disgusting ... After all, Katya ... She could not ... Although, as they say, "a bitch does not want the cable will not jump up." An abomination... And if Sasha finds out? What will happen to her? She loves Jonic very much, every quarrel with Jonic is very hard for her... I see it. And then there was betrayal from both sides ... But at that moment I didn’t think about Sasha at all. I thought that I could no longer trust Katya ... because she could do the same with me. It's all complicated... And I don't know what to do... How to warn Sasha to keep her distance from Katya? She is still a child ... this maximalism of hers ... I'm afraid that he will kill her ... I'm afraid that she won't survive if she finds out ... So I want to save her ... Protect her. But how?

Final essay on literature 2018. The theme of the final essay on literature. "Loyalty and betrayal".

Loyalty and betrayal- these are two complex social concepts that are of great importance for humanity.
Loyalty, as we understand it, is a positive characteristic. Change, in turn, has a negative connotation.

It is worth considering loyalty and betrayal not only in the prism of a love relationship between two people. These concepts are universal.

Loyalty- a moral and ethical concept, according to Ozhegov's dictionary: perseverance and immutability in feelings, relationships, in the performance of one's duties, duty. Infidelity is treason.
"Loyalty is devotion to someone or something; it is immutability in one's promises, words, relationships, in the performance of one's duties, duty. Loyalty is based on responsibility, perseverance, honesty, courage, sacrifice. Similar qualities: dedication, immutability, firmness, steadfastness Opposites: treachery, betrayal, unfaithfulness, betrayal, deceit.

Synonyms: devotion, constancy, endurance, immutability, firmness, steadfastness, zeal, diligence, honesty, accuracy, serviceability, conscientiousness, accuracy, correctness, infallibility, justice, reliability; Love,; certainty, infallibility, orthodoxy, commitment, indisputability, evidence, certainty, self-evidence, reliability, undistortedness.

Treason- infidelity to someone or something.
Synonyms: betrayal, treachery, infidelity; fornication, strikebreaking, adultery, a knife in the back, adultery, adultery, apostasy, adultery.

FIPI commentary: "Within the framework of the direction, one can talk about fidelity and betrayal as opposite manifestations of the human personality, considering them from a philosophical, ethical, psychological point of view and referring to life and literary examples. The concepts of "fidelity" and "treason" are at the center of the plots of many works of different eras and characterize the actions of heroes in a situation moral choice both in personal relationships and in a social context."

Since these concepts are quite broad, we will consider them in a different context.

1. Loyalty / betrayal in the broadest sense.

3. Loyalty (treason) to the Motherland, public duty

4. Loyalty / betrayal in relation to a friend, comrade, person who trusted.

5. Loyalty / betrayal in relation to oneself, one's moral principles, one's vocation, goals, word, religious beliefs.

6. Loyalty of animals to their owners.

Quotes for the final essay in the direction "Loyalty and treason".

1. Loyalty/treason.

Trust is a sign of courage, and loyalty is a sign of strength. (Maria Ebner Eschenbach)

You can forgive betrayal, but you can't forgive. (A. Akhmatova)

How can you deal with someone you can't trust? If the wagon has no axle, how can you ride it? (Confucius)

Who never swore allegiance, he will never break it. (August Platen)

Happiness needs fidelity, misfortune can do without it. (Seneca)

Only once do we lose life and trust. (Publius Sir)

Constancy is the basis of virtue. (O. Balzac)

To be faithful is a virtue, to know loyalty is an honor. (Maria Ebner-Eschenbach)

Without constancy there can be no love, no friendship, no virtue. (D. Addison)

A noble heart cannot be unfaithful. (O. Balzac)

The slightest infidelity towards us we judge much more severely than the most insidious betrayal towards others. (F. La Rochefoucauld)

In this world, I value only loyalty. Without it, you are nobody and you have nobody. In life, this is the only currency that will never depreciate. (Vysotsky V.S.)

Betrayal originates in the heart before it manifests itself in action. (J. Swift)

Readers can change the writer as much as they like, but the writer must always be faithful to the reader. (W. H. Auden)

Betrayals are committed most often not by deliberate intent, but by weakness of character. (F. de La Rochefoucauld)

Loyalty, which can only be maintained at the cost of great effort, is no better than treason.
(F. de La Rochefoucauld)

Traitors are despised even by those they serve. (Tacitus Publius Cornelius)

2. Loyalty / betrayal in the love sphere.

In the demand for fidelity - the greed of the owner. We would willingly give up a lot if it were not for the fear that someone else would pick it up (O. Wilde)

Faithful love helps to endure all hardships. (F. Schiller)

If your wife cheated on you, then rejoice that she cheated on you, and not on the fatherland. (A.P. Chekhov)

People often cheat for the sake of ambition, but then they will never cheat on ambition for the sake of love. (F. de La Rochefoucauld)

Constancy is the everlasting dream of love. (Vauvenargue)

They love those who are going to betray, but they hate those who have already betrayed. (Dm. Arkady)

One cannot hope for female fidelity; happy who looks at it indifferently. (A.S. Pushkin)

When you love, you do not want to drink any other water than the one you find in your favorite spring. Loyalty in this case is a natural thing. In a loveless marriage, in less than two months, the spring water becomes bitter. (Stendhal)

The basis of love, its first condition is faith, unconditional fidelity and devotion. True love she is not blind, on the contrary, perhaps for the first time she opens the eyes of a man. The slightest betrayal of a loved one, if it happened sooner or later, is a complete betrayal of everything, from the very beginning, it destroys not only the future, but also the past, because this means that every day of a life full of trust was a lie and the heart was deceived. Anyone who has been unfaithful at least once has never been faithful. (David Scott)

3. Loyalty/treason to the motherland, public duty.

Treason to the motherland requires extreme baseness of the soul. (N.G. Chernyshevsky)

There is only one crime that cannot be redeemed - this is treason to one's state. The motherland cannot be changed, it can only be betrayed. A person who truly loves the Motherland always knows its price ... To express your opinion, it is not necessary to be a famous person ... (E.V. Gushchina)

Ignorance, selfishness and betrayal - these are the three irreconcilable enemies of patriotism. (Garegin Need)

There is no higher idea than how to sacrifice your own life, defending your brothers and your fatherland. (F.M. Dostoevsky)

You can't be a hero fighting against your homeland. (Hugo W.)

Is it possible to run away from yourself by leaving your homeland? (Horace)

If the holy army shouts: “Throw Rus', live in paradise!”, I will say: “Don’t need paradise, Give me my homeland.” (S.A. Yesenin)

Everyone's duty is to love their homeland, to be incorruptible and courageous, to remain faithful to it, even at the cost of life. (J.-J. Rousseau)

I understand loyalty as loyalty to the homeland, and not to its institutions and rulers. Motherland is true, lasting, eternal; the motherland must be protected, one must love it, one must be faithful to it; institutions are something external, like clothes, and clothes can wear out, tear, become uncomfortable, stop protecting the body from cold, illness and death. (M. Twain)

4. Loyalty / betrayal in relation to a friend, comrade, etc.

Be loyal to the one who is loyal to you. (Plat)

And in friendship, and in love, sooner or later, the time comes for settling accounts. (D.B. Shaw)

A betrayal of a friend is much more painful than a betrayal of a loved one, because you expect it less from him. (Etienne Rey)

Cheating on a friend is a crime

No excuse, no forgiveness. (Lope de Vega)

Loyalty is the commandment of friendship, the most precious thing that can be given to a person at all. (E. Telman)

Half friend, half traitor. (V. Hugo)

An unfaithful friend is like a shadow that follows you while the sun is shining. (K. Dossi)

A devotee to you is a friend; betrayed by you is an enemy. (A. Nadanyan)

5. Loyalty / betrayal in relation to oneself, one's moral principles, one's vocation, goals, word, religious beliefs, etc.

Be true to yourself, and then just as surely as night follows day, loyalty to other people will follow. (Shakespeare)

Be true to yourself, and then just as surely as night follows day, loyalty to other people will follow. (Shakespeare) To be authentic means to be true to yourself. (Osho)

The liveliness of the mind does not paint a person too much if it is not accompanied by the fidelity of judgments. Not those watches are good that go fast, but those that show the exact time. (Vauvenargue)

The word "loyalty" has done a lot of harm. People have learned to be "faithful" to a thousand injustices and lawlessness. Meanwhile, they should have been true only to themselves, and then they would have rebelled against deceit. (M. Twain)

Traitors betray themselves first of all. (Plutarch)

6. Loyalty of animals to their owners.

White Fang did not like Gray Beaver - and yet remained faithful to him against his will, his anger. He couldn't help himself. This is how he was created. Loyalty was the property of the White Fang breed, loyalty distinguished him from all other animals, loyalty led the wolf and wild dog to man and allowed them to become his comrades. (J. London)

Loyalty is a quality that people have lost, but dogs have retained. (A.P. Chekhov)

Not a single dog in the world considers ordinary devotion to be something unusual. But people came up with the idea of ​​exalting this feeling of a dog as a feat only because not all of them, and not so often, have loyalty to a friend and fidelity to duty so much that this is the root of life, the natural foundation of the being itself, when the nobility of the soul is a self-evident state. (G. Troepolsky)

A lot has already been written about dog loyalty, but no one seems to have said yet that loyalty is happiness. Whoever serves the one he loves already receives his reward. (L. Ashkenazi)

Whoever has experienced affection for a faithful and intelligent dog, there is no need to explain with what warm gratitude she pays for this. There is something in the unselfish and selfless love of the beast that conquers the heart of anyone who has more than once experienced the treacherous friendship and deceptive devotion inherent in Man. (E.A. Poe)

Direction " Loyalty and betrayal"is included in the list of topics for the final essay for the 2017/18 academic year.
Below are examples and additional materials for development themes of loyalty and betrayal in the final essay.

Composition on the topic: Loyalty and betrayal

Loyalty and betrayal are two opposite extremes of the moral and ethical image of the individual. Considered from a literary point of view, "fidelity" and "treason" in most works vividly and accurately characterize the actions of the characters. Whether it's "Anna Karenina" by L. Tolstoy, "Eugene Onegin" or "The Captain's Daughter" by Pushkin - everywhere the problem of fidelity and betrayal is acute and multifaceted.

If we turn to modern reality, then on the one hand, noble behavior takes its basics from early childhood in a family atmosphere, on the other hand, human moral character is a full reflection of a person’s thinking and nature.

Of course, do not forget about loyalty to your family, relatives, loved ones and close people. Our inner circle accepts us for who we really are. This circle includes the closest people who will support us at any moment of our life, sincerely share the joys and troubles that have happened. Will definitely give advice and share their own personal experience. We must respect the people close to us and cherish them very much, as well as their presence in our lives.

Therefore, native people, like no one else, deserve a faithful and devoted attitude. We must always support them and never betray them. As various literary sources say, even our ancestors sang in folk art the significance, strength and indivisibility of the family circle. Every person who has a number of those people who love, appreciate and respect him is considered rich. He seems to grow wings from the support he receives and he wants to conquer new heights.

Every person who has an adequate consciousness must necessarily possess the qualities that are inherent in fidelity. This concept decorates and greatly exalts the appearance of a person. It is also worth noting that all these feelings cannot be forcibly instilled. Tedious notations and moralizing are not helpers in this issue. The concept of "fidelity" is born in the very depths of the soul at the birth of each person. And his fidelity can be judged by the actions he performs, the train of thought and, in general, by the chosen course of life, discarding all eloquent sayings. But, you should not consider loyalty as a kind of starting position in life position. In fact, loyalty is a generous tribute to sincere and genuine love.

Only love is capable of reviving in the human soul endless respect and complete readiness for self-sacrifice. Own thought contributes to the formation of individuality. Thanks to the fact that you have your own position, you can significantly stand out among the crowd and not succumb to public opinion. In this case, no one will be able to impose other people's thoughts on us. That is why it is very important to be true to yourself.

After betrayal, you no longer want to trust anyone, a devoted person begins to look for a catch in everything. It is worth focusing on the behavior of the traitor, how he behaves. Does it explain why this happened? Does he ask for forgiveness? Everything happens in this life and no one is immune from mistakes. It may even be that, due to life circumstances or under the influence of someone else's opinion, we do not deliberately substitute another person. The most important thing is to come to your senses in time, sincerely repent and ask for forgiveness. If you can really find an excuse for the perfect, then you can forgive a person, giving him one more chance to fix everything and return honest and trusting relationships.

No need to close, life goes on, so you need to move on. First of all, we are all human and should be patient with each other. Our life, so, is filled with all sorts of difficulties of a different nature, so you need to treat loving and beloved people with great respect and reverence.

In the context of this open direction, it would be appropriate to think of loyalty and betrayal as radically opposite manifestations of human nature. It is recommended to analyze the categories of betrayal and fidelity from the moral, ethical, philosophical, psychological points of view, as well as referring to everyday realities and works of literature.

The categories of "fidelity" and "treason" occupy a key role in the plots of many works of different eras and characterize the thoughts and deeds of heroes in situations of moral choice, both in personal relationships and in the social aspect.

Topics and questions that can be considered within the framework of the direction "Loyalty and betrayal"

What does loyalty mean?
What does betrayal lead to?
How do you think loyalty and love are related?
How do you think loyalty and friendship are related?
What is the danger of cheating?
Confirm or refute W. Churchill's statement: "The man who never changes his mind is stupid."
Can betrayal be forgiven?
What are the causes of betrayal and betrayal?
When does a choice arise between loyalty and betrayal?
How do you understand the word "loyalty"?
Is it important to be true to the word? What pushes a person to cheat?
Do you agree with the statement: "A traitor and a coward are a berry of the same field"
What qualities should a true friend?
How do you understand Plutarch's saying: "Traitors betray themselves first of all"?
How does betrayal affect relationships?
“Is it possible to run away from yourself, leaving your homeland?” Horace What is the worst betrayal?
Do you agree with the statement: “Trust is a sign of courage, and loyalty is a sign of strength”?
Do you agree with the statement “Whoever has never sworn allegiance will never break it”? (August Platen)
Can a noble heart be unfaithful?
Is it possible to deal with a person who cannot be trusted?
Confirm or refute the words of F. Schiller: "True love helps to endure all hardships"?
How do you understand the words: “In order to preserve love, one must not change, but change”? (K. Melikhan)
Do you agree with the statement of N. Chernyshevsky: "For treason to the motherland, an extreme baseness of the soul is needed"?
Is it possible to be a hero fighting against the motherland?
Is it possible to call a dog the most faithful friend?
Why is cheating on a friend much more painful than cheating on a loved one?
Do you agree with Lope de Vega's dictum, "Cheadying a friend is a crime without justification, without forgiveness"?
Can it be argued that the loyalty of a friend is “the most precious thing that can be given to a person at all”? (E. Telman)
How do you understand the saying of V. Hugo: "Half friend - half traitor"?
How do you understand the meaning of the saying: "An unfaithful friend is like a shadow that drags behind you while the sun is shining."
Do you need to be true to yourself? Is the statement of L. Sukhorukov true: “Who is faithful only to himself, is always unfaithful with others”?
Do you agree with the saying: “He who never changes his mind loves himself more than the truth”? (Joseph Joubert)
Why do you think traitors betray themselves first of all?
How do you understand the saying: “To be authentic means to be true to yourself”? (Osho)
Do you agree with the statement of A.P. Chekhov: “Loyalty is that quality that people have lost, but dogs have kept”?
Do you agree with folk wisdom: "A true friend is better than a hundred servants"?
Is the statement true: “Whoever has experienced affection for a faithful and intelligent dog, there is no need to explain how gratefully she pays for it”?
Can loyalty bring disappointment to a person?

More topics:
Patriotism is loyalty to the motherland.
Can you be true to others while still being true to yourself?
Loyalty as the basis of honesty and honor.
Treason - is it betrayal or loyalty to your interests?
Forgiveness of betrayal - is it a recognition of the correctness of the traitor, your own weakness or love?