How to meet girls in different countries: real stories. How do they say hello in different countries? Customs and traditions Greetings in Russia

More and more often we hear sighs of disappointment from the inability to meet the right person. The study ended long ago, and the work and daily routine absorb so much that there is no time and opportunity to meet even with old friends. Wonderzine asked girls from different countries about where they usually meet, what phrases guys use, and how things are in general with the opportunity to meet the love of a lifetime.

elina chebbocha

Poland

Katarzyna Velec
24 years old, student

In Poland, we do not have such a problem - there are a million places where both young and not so young people can meet and get to know each other (perhaps more than once in order to please each other). The most popular places are obvious: clubs, pubs, bars, mostly with a dance floor as a guarantee to showcase sexy moves. To be honest, I myself don’t understand this phenomenon at all, because I hate dancing, but most of my friends assure me that they won’t date a guy who can’t dance. It is quite a likely story - to meet in a fitness club, dance classes or even jogging in the park. Many successful couples have met each other through mutual friends or at house parties. The Internet helps a lot too - I met my fiancé at a gathering of browser game players, and this is not as rare a situation as it might seem. As it turned out later, we saw several couples there who met in the same way.

There is no expected or obvious tackle. In fact, if you use certain phrases, you will look very strange. For example, all sorts of expressions in the spirit of "Hi, my angel, when did you fall from heaven?" are considered incredibly dumb. Guys who talk like that are associated with dresiarze, and this is definitely not a plus. Or the Erasmus guys from Southern Europe who just want to crawl into your underpants and forget you the next morning. I would say that The best way to start dating a Polish girl is to be as relaxed and natural as possible. But don't overdo it: I got really pissed off when one guy ended every sentence addressed to me with the word piekna (meaning beautiful). He probably wanted me to feel special, but he achieved exactly the opposite - it seemed to me that I was definitely not the only one he called that.

Finland

Kirsi Hämäläinen
24 years old, support specialist

Dating is a problem in Finland. Most often, everyone intersects either in bars (sometimes in clubs and at house parties), or on the Internet. I think it has to do with the shyness of Finnish guys (and girls too) who are too shy to talk to a person without alcohol or the anonymity that the Internet provides. They just roll up: either they invite you to dance, or they talk to a girl when she tries to order something at a bar. In any case, girls are "caught" when they are away from their friends, as getting to know someone from a large group is usually more difficult. And even in bars, those you meet will turn out to be friends of friends. On the Internet, everything is 50/50 - from expectations to reality. Despite the stereotypes about Finland, girls are not the first to get acquainted with us, but guys need to be especially brave and make the right first step. This makes them vulnerable and open to rejection. Girls don't like to feel vulnerable, so they are never the first to approach. Well, it’s worth recognizing that the guys don’t say any special nonsense when they try to get to know each other. The first step is already difficult to do, so they say little, to the point and look as natural as possible.

Now I am dating a Swede and even moved to Sweden to be with him. It doesn't say anything about Finnish guys, by the way, it just happened. We met in an online game, as both gamers, it all started with flirting, continued with long dialogues in a personal, and finally a meeting in real life nine months later. The culture of Sweden is much more positive than ours, people are more social and, for example, it is normal for them to ask how you are. We don't do that in Finland.

Spain

Esther Robledo
25 years old, insurance specialist

Spanish relationships can start anywhere. Usually these are places where both of you often go: at the university, at parties with acquaintances, at a language course, or at a fitness club. In general, any place that guarantees a substantial amount of time together can break the ice. Of course, there are also obvious places like nightclubs. Depending on the location, the guys might come up with random cheers, usually incredibly stupid - we ignore them, laugh among ourselves and continue to have fun. And more extended versions of catch-phrases like “I think I saw you somewhere”, and here it’s already how lucky. If it doesn’t seem to us that this is an obvious “I want to get into your panties”, then we will probably continue the conversation, although some girls continue it, even if they foresee a one-night stand, and there is no explanation for this. Such acquaintances can end with anything and in any way: long-term relationships, weddings or just friendship. Young people simply omit conversations: it all starts with an invitation to dance, and then it all depends on the girl. But the best way to start at least a semi-serious relationship is to participate in a general party at someone's house or in a bar where everyone knows each other, and thanks to a combination of music, a relaxed drunk atmosphere and the fact that you can ignore anyone, everything is like - it gets better on its own. Most of the couples I know have met this way. Of the most terrible, or rather, incredibly sad approaches to me personally, I remember one where a guy begged me to sleep with him. That is literally: "Well, please." True, it was very funny.

Romania

Ramona Barbu
25 years old, project manager

In Romania, any place is used as a good excuse to hit on someone, although everything is obvious with the most successful ones - these are clubs, bars, parks. But in the first place are the beaches and clubs on the street during the summer. Guys still use the usual hello phrases like "You're too pretty to be alone tonight. May I offer you a drink?" In any case, the current generation does not really need some phrases for dating, but you need to be able to get the girl out of the stage of ignoring everything that is happening around. Most guys play innocent, and if a girl quickly rejects them, they use manipulative techniques. For example, they say that they are just trying to be friendly and nothing more, making the girl feel guilty for "judging by clothes." The dumbest trick I heard from a guy was, “Hi. Did you know that 95% of girls masturbate in the shower? And the most embarrassing tackle was from a guy who came up to me to ask about my girlfriend. After finding out that she was in a relationship, he approached me again and tried to "take off". It was pretty stupid and I strongly recommend that the guys who read this avoid such actions in every possible way.

Tunisia

Hanin Bo
31 years old, chemist

In Tunisia, everything is not the same as everywhere else, as our society is full of contradictions. For example, girls should be friendly and open, but not too much, otherwise they will seem vulgar or even stupid. This can be a real test. In my experience, there are no particular difficulties in communication and dating here, flirting is also common, but it is almost impossible to maintain such a relationship. The university environment is a good source of acquaintances, but everyone studies for the sake of knowledge, and not for the sake of acquaintances. Tunisian men and women are not shy, so we, too, have all the signs of the times. But the fact is that we are much smaller than Russia, so it is much easier to establish relations here.

USA

Harmony Mitchell
31 years old, analyst

In the US, there is a tendency to go somewhere else to study after receiving a basic 4-year higher education, in such places people, as a rule, get to know each other. They also meet at the parties of mutual friends, but bars and clubs definitely do not work as a guarantee of a long meaningful relationship. The one-night stand culture has broken down by region. For example, now I live in the south in a rather party city, so dating for one night is quite the norm. In the northern part of the States, where I lived for a while, this is unacceptable. There, for new acquaintances, they use all sorts of things like Meetup for social events or even dating sites. The frequency of mating there was, of course, much lower.

By the time people here reach the age of thirty, the obsession with finding a partner becomes unbearable. When a suitable option appears on the horizon, guys lose their heads. But tackles vary depending on the region of residence. I had friends who were silent for years about some kind of interest and admitted it only after I got married. At the same time, in New York, people can literally say the following: “I like you. Let me take you somewhere." This is the beauty of New York - people there are good at showing that they are interested in you. They will call you on a date without any obligations, just for mutual pleasure, and then how it goes. When I lived in Harlem, men called out to me all the time on the street, and it was wonderful. One of my favorite stories happened when I was walking to the post office. I was walking down the street and a guy looked out of his car and said, "How are you, pretty?" I smiled at him and shook out my hair, after which he said: “Oh, that smile. This is exactly what I wanted to see. WHERE IS THIS RING ON YOUR FINGER, BABY? WHERE IS THIS RING?

September 19th, 2016 , 08:00 pm

How men from different countries meet

As soon as I left the “green corridor” of Domodedovo, the Motherland met me with such relatives, such touching words: "What beautiful boobs!"

So warmly, at home, one of the taxi drivers greeted me, after sticking his nose into my neckline. Didn't push hard. Childish. With sincere admiration.

“Well, here I am at home,” I thought.

Photo: Getty Images

Somewhere in America, such behavior would be completely impossible. For a man trying to sell his services to a woman to compliment her breasts along the way? Unthinkable!

Americans stopped harassing women half a century ago, having concluded a new social contract among themselves: openly flirting with women and staring at them is unacceptable.

American tackles are more friendly than sexy. During acquaintances with them, a woman does not feel like meat. An American will look into your eyes, not in your neckline, and talk about general topics, and not about how sexy you are.

We, in Russia, have a different social contract: a man will suck on you with a lustful look and allow himself ambiguous statements about you, but only on the condition that you are alone. If a husband or boyfriend looms nearby, our boys will not climb. When a woman is busy, they understand this purely as a man and respect the right of another male to her.

In France, they will stare at you without looking away, regardless of whether you are walking alone or with a man. Words will not be said, but they will look, and they will shit on your boyfriend. At the same time, they will not fly.

All the men there need is to admire the sexy woman. And even if you are walking alone, they will most likely limit themselves to looking after you. In order to get to know a woman, a Frenchman needs a go-ahead from her: an invitation with a look, a smile.

Unlike the French, neither the Americans nor the Russians need such a go-ahead. An American will approach you even if you are not looking at him. It will fit and rub in something neutral-friendly. A Russian will knock you down only if you are without a man. And you will have to make a lot of efforts to get rid of it.

Neither Germans nor Austrians stare at women. Their views are discrete: he looked and immediately looked away, looked furtively and again stared at his coffee. These guys, like the French, need a special invitation to get to know you. Smile at him and he will come.

The Spaniards, sorry for the stereotype, are hot, but they don’t stare at a woman for a long time, they don’t study her. Did you like it? The Spaniard immediately bases, afraid to miss the prey. He might go on a first date already with a gift in an attempt to stake you out.

A Jew will not allow himself anything frivolous, but if he likes you, he will approach you anywhere at any time. For example, at an intersection while you are crossing the road. I had this every day when I went to the beach in Tel Aviv. Rejected? It's OK. The Jew will roll off without problems. It will not be imposed and frisked after you.

Closest to ours are the Italians: they stare and talk all sorts of frivolous nonsense. And even if you go with a man, they are unlikely to resist a compliment. True, they address it not to you, but to your man: “Oh, what a clear woman you have, dude! Keep it up!"

Girls, tell us about your experience of dating men from different countries. Who gets to know each other?

Guys, how do you meet the women you like?

Before leaving for an unfamiliar country, it would be nice to find out something about its customs and norms of everyday etiquette. How not to screw up, folding decent and not so gestures from fingers. Now let's deal with greetings in order to reach out in time and not grab for an inappropriate kiss.

Handshake

Where?
Europe, USA, Australia, some countries in Africa, Asia, Arab countries

Habitual for us, shaking a familiar person by the hand at a meeting is one of the most common forms of greeting in the world. Even medieval knights stretched out their hands to each other, as if saying: “my friend, look, there is neither a sword nor an ax in my hand.” And it was a real sign of trust. Among the ancient Greeks, the handshake was an expression of friendliness and hospitality. With such a pleasant meaning, it has survived to this day. But do not rush to pull your hand forward to everyone and everywhere - there are still nuances.

Today, almost all Western Europeans shake hands. The British have slightly distinguished themselves in this matter: they prefer to slightly nod their heads, and only good friends allow their precious hand to be touched. In the UK, it is generally accepted to touch the interlocutor as little as possible.

In the United States, most often they shake hands in a formal setting or when they first meet. Making a round of the office to shake hands with everyone on a normal working day is not accepted here. Just like constantly shaking the hands of all the other people you often see.

And, if you still think that a handshake is an exclusively masculine gesture, then you are deeply mistaken. In the US and Western Europe, women often shake hands with each other and with men (in situations that are conducive to this). So here it is important not to get fooled and not be considered a person who is unenlightened in the topic of gender equality. But Eastern Europe is a little behind in this regard: here a woman herself can reach out for a greeting if she wants to. Men, on the other hand, most often do not reach out to women first.

As for Asia, handshakes here cannot be called a traditional form of greeting. But, seeing a European, a friendly Japanese is likely to shake his hand in a Western manner.

In Arab countries, after shaking hands, men usually press their right hand to their hearts, which expresses respect and friendliness. Well, if very close people met, it’s not out of place to hug and even kiss twice. Arab women they don’t shake hands, but forget about kisses and hugs right away.

kisses

Where?
France, Belgium, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Sweden, Turkey, Latin America, Arab countries

Greeting kisses are also completely different: from hot with passionate hugs to continuous imitation with minimal cheek kissing. Most often, well-known people kiss when they meet, so don’t hope (or, conversely, don’t worry) - no one is going to kiss you right off the bat.

If you still have kisses, it is important not to overdo it with their number. So, in Belgium and Italy they exchange two kisses, in Spain - three. In the Netherlands and Sweden they kiss three times, but in Germany social kissing is not accepted. In France, acquaintances (and even unfamiliar ones) release from two to five alleged kisses into the air, touching each other alternately with their cheeks. In general, in France, the number of kisses varies so much depending on the region that there is even a special interactive mapso as not to kiss indefinitely.

In Turkey, when meeting, men who are related to each other or friends usually kiss. In Arab countries, greeting kisses of men are also quite a common thing. But kissing with the opposite sex here, as we have already noted above, is an absolute taboo.

Embrace

Where?
Latin America, possible in Spain, Italy

Latin Americans usually express their emotions violently. This also applies to everyday greetings. So, if you are happy to see you here, in addition to standard handshakes and kisses, expect hot and sincere hugs. Most likely, only those who are seen for the first time will not get hugs (and even that is not a fact).

And yet remember that hugs are a rather intimate thing, it’s better not to be the first to hug in foreign countries. Well, you never know.

Bow

Where?
Japan, China, Korea and other Asian countries, India

In Asian countries, all these ceremonial things are loved, and bowing is still an integral part of everyday culture here. You can bow in different ways, depending on who exactly you are going to bow to.

So, the Japanese, seeing a friend or acquaintance, lean forward quite a bit, by 15 degrees. Deeper bows are usually intended for very respected people. Europeans in Japan usually shake hands, but it's best not to rush into physical contact with the first person. Personal space is a very important thing for the Japanese, and violating it on one's own initiative is not a good idea.

In China, it is not very customary to bow to everyone - this is considered an exceptionally respectful gesture not for every mere mortal. The Chinese bow for everyday greeting is something like a normal nod of the head. Well, the handshake is becoming more and more common here, especially if you need to say hello to a person of European appearance.

You can also be greeted with a slight bow in Korea and Singapore. In India, women usually bow with their closed palms pressed to their chest, but men have already mostly switched to handshakes.

If you get lost and forget everything

We understand that it is difficult to remember the traditions of greeting all countries in the world. Therefore, if you suddenly get confused - just act according to the situation and do not make sudden movements. You don't have to be the first one to hug and kiss another person unless you're sure it's appropriate. But a friendly smile and a willingness to lend a hand to a new acquaintance will help you get out of most awkward situations.

In Iran, love affairs are monitored by the cultural police, in Japan young man you need to ask for official permission for the first kiss, in France women are ready to pay for dinner in a restaurant themselves - The Village learned from residents of different countries where they meet, how they flirt and whether relationships result from this.

Akiko Takakura

Tokyo, Japan
marketing manager

In Japan, most often a young man has to take the first step and invite a girl on a date: in a cafe, in a movie or in a shopping center. As the relationship develops, it is customary to ask the partner for permission: “Can I kiss you?” "Can we now be called a couple?" "Can we have sex tonight?" If the girl agrees, only then the young man decides to go further. The day when a young man proposed that you officially become a couple is called kokuhaku kinebi. This day is usually celebrated by the couple every year.

Love hotels are also very popular among young people. Couples come here to have sex. For the simple reason that most often they have nowhere else to do it. Until the age of 22 (or even more), many live with their parents. In Tokyo, there are entire areas of love hotels, of various kinds: with water or moving beds, with toys, with films.

Sveta Kuzmenko

Berlin, Germany
online marketing manager

Berlin is an ideal city for short-term intrigues and love adventures. There are few people who succeed in taking relations to a serious level. But if this happens, then the couple quickly begins to live together, and the candy-bouquet period is practically absent. I think this is due to the fact that in this city it is quite easy to rent an apartment.

Berlin is a free city, including in everything that concerns flirting. Same-sex relationships, sex in a club in front of everyone is commonplace, and the word kinky (playful, perverted) is present in the everyday life of ordinary Berliners. It's hard to flirt in clubs, because it's not easy to strike up a flirtatious conversation under techno and electro. Therefore, for love adventures, it is better to go to a bar, where the atmosphere is more conducive to acquaintance. The Germans believe that the first step should not always be taken by a man - this is convenient, as it significantly expands the choice and freedom of action.

Dasha Semyonova

New York, USA
designer

New York is not much different from Moscow: all the same dynamics, speed, everything is on the run, including flirting with acquaintances. The main rule that I can note is that everything happens here and now, no one is waiting for another occasion.

People can date for months and still not consider themselves a couple. So more often there are frivolous relationships just for fun. Therefore, no one remembers monogamy here. Due to the saturation of everyday life, people do not seek Serious relationships only because they need to be worked on too. This is why OkCupid and Tinder are so popular. Most of my acquaintances who have been dating for a long time came to New York as a couple.

Seper Sami

Tehran, Iran
architect

Love and relationships in Iran, just like in the rest of the world, are closely related to class, opportunity and circumstance. The fact that you can get arrested for kissing a girl in a cafe will never stop you. This only fuels interest and desire to go against the system and the conservative family. Some girls and young people never meet on the street, but meet each other at private parties, ski resorts and underground concerts. In general, on the street, of course, you can come up and get to know each other, but this should take place according to the norms adopted by the cultural police. You can approach a girl in the market or in the library, ask for her phone number. But your first meeting will be preceded by long nights of phone conversations.

At first, online chats were popular in Iran. Chats were used not only as a means of flirting and communication, they also organized offline meetings, sometimes in groups of up to 100 people. These meetings were quickly stopped by the cultural police, but this did not stop people: they simply became anonymous and moved from public places to hotels and cafes.

Claudio Corubolo

Butrio, Italy
architect

In Italy, it is customary for a man to take the first step. A man asks for a date, flirts more, pays for everything and surrounds her with increased attention. Perhaps that is why Italians are considered masters of flirting. But in fact, we do it simply because in Italy, otherwise you will not be able to draw attention to yourself. Here girls are waiting for the first step from a man. It seems to me that in other European countries it is easier for men: girls often take the initiative there.

There is another stereotype about Italians - that men cheat. I don't agree with him. It is rather more pleasant for men to know that he is able to seduce a girl, and the fact of infidelity does not interest him. Maybe there are men who cheat, but I don't think there are as many of them as they like to say.

Alex Smith

Sydney, Australia
scientist

Flirting and dating in Sydney is highly dependent on your lifestyle. For many, every day is filled with a bunch of things, then it is very difficult to get to know someone. Simply because there is nowhere. You can't meet girls in bars, they go there in groups and approaching them is a whole operation. Many pubs and clubs in Sydney close at midnight, so home yard parties are the best place to meet. Here you meet new people, but at the same time they are most often friends of friends, that is, the circle closes. And among friends of friends, everyone is either busy or crazy. I used to be busy, now I'm crazy.

On the other hand, people are more open at parties because they have a certain circle of acquaintances. You can approach anyone, start a conversation, flirt, ask for a phone. Australians are very open about sex. And most often the first sex happens on the second or third date. Online dating is wildly popular right now. My friend told me that if she decides to date a guy she met online, chances are high that they will sleep right away. Well, only if in reality he does not turn out to be a completely different person.

Dunya el Guasmi

Biarritz, France
HR director

The country of love, France, has recently been developing new rules for communication. Adopteunmec.com, Tinder, Meetic - it seems that today social media has become the main place for flirting, finding love or simply PQR (French for sex friend). Speed ​​dating is officially dead. But the Internet for any girl in the region of 25 years has become the main source of inspiration. You just need to work on the profile, photos and figure out how easy and simple it is to start a conversation with a stranger. What's more, most, if not all, of the people I know google the guy they're going on a date with.

There is a stereotype about French women that we are all avid feminists. Of course, we fight for our rights, but this does not apply to personal relationships. French women still desperately believe in romance. They expect a man to ask him out, pay for dinner, text him after. Of course, I'm not saying that locks should be hung - symbols of eternal love on the Pont des Arts. But it's worth keeping up the spark. By the way, free nature is still one way or another manifested. In France, it is considered normal if a girl takes the first step. And on the second or third date, we are ready to pay for ourselves.

June Wine

Boracay, Philippines
Chef

The Philippines is the most Catholic country in Asia. And high religiosity affects the culture of flirting and communication. At the same time, the strong influence of the West is felt here. Filipinos are very humble by nature. Most often, it is easier for them to get acquainted with the help of online media, gadgets and chats. At the same time, rarely will anyone talk about their adventures on the Internet. Only if you have an official couple, are you ready to show your passion in public. Boracay Island is a completely different story. This is an island of parties, flirting and free relationships. Of course, there are completely different rules here. You can get drunk, sleep with someone and not even remember the next morning. This extends to the gay community as well.

An unusual bazaar takes place every weekend in the People's Park of Shanghai: brides and grooms are sold here. No, do not think, brides are not stolen and are not openly traded. They sell acquaintances in order to create a family. Modern Shanghai people are very busy, some people are just unlucky: they entrust their fate to marriage agencies or bored pensioners.

Why are the Chinese the most different ages use the services of matchmakers, and do not get acquainted on the streets or on the Internet?

*published again*

1 Dating bazaars used to be all over China. And this one, Shanghai, is also very old. There was no internet at all, and the Chinese needed to multiply. Where can I find the right pair? How to guess who your soul mate is?

2 No way! Entrust this task to others, and they will select the ideal spouse according to your data. And they won’t forget to check in the city!

3 Thousand ads! Maybe even tens of thousands hanging all over the park! How to deal with all this?

4 First, the questionnaires are clearly structured. Age is indicated by two digits of the year of birth. Growth is also important, but not a single questionnaire says about sizes and parameters. Photos - at units. But do not worry, when you are interested in a particular person, they will show you. Many simply do not want to "shine" in public. Education is also very important, if it exists, they will always write about it. Profession is a secondary matter, the main thing is a diploma! And the annual income, the presence of their own apartment or car: the Chinese are very interested in the viability of their future passion, regardless of gender.

5 The people sitting at the tables are representatives of marriage agencies. They have all the information, but just like that they will not give it to you. You need to show real interest, then you will see the photos. Did you like it? Then there are two options: either they give you contacts, or first they will be interviewed and photographed, and shown to the one who posted the questionnaire.

6 Usually the one who places pays. I saw several photographs of Chinese young ladies: there are very good looking ones, with apartments, cars, money. Do they really suffer from loneliness so much that they run to the matchmakers? In fact, they either simply do not have time to meet, or they want to guarantee communication with a person of their circle. And it's indecent to get acquainted on the streets in China.

7 In addition to agencies, there are many "private traders", they are even the majority. Such people usually have two or three proteges, whom they try to attach.

8 It is always very clear who is interested and who does not care. And it's not about the money, it's just the people. Naturally, you should contact only those who carefully look at passers-by, and do not mind their own business.

9 There is only one questionnaire, but there are many of you!

10 This grandfather and his ward are not lucky. I think I saw him in other photographs taken a few years ago. Still the same old man, still the same profile. Or maybe he just comes to hang out, attaching his young photo to the umbrella?

11 Sometimes they decide collectively by studying photographs. Is a girl suitable for a guy?

12 The coolest and most elite acquaintances are with foreigners. Many Chinese women dream of getting married and moving to Europe or America. In addition to knowing English, they usually have nothing to offer. Those who have an education and a good job hunt themselves.

13 And the park is beautiful!

14 Strange Art. Some Bin Laden!

15 Where do you have speed dating here? I'm late for the train! :) By the way, about sex. For the Chinese, this is practically a taboo topic, it is not discussed in society, and cohabitation without marriage is condemned. But this does not prevent them from sleeping with each other, after all, they live in the twenty-first century. But, unlike European culture, here you have to hide even for friends. For a foreigner, they say, the easiest way to "remove" a girl: everything will happen on the first date. True, in a couple of weeks you can suddenly be abandoned, even after meeting your parents.

16 The candidates themselves come to the park infrequently, only to "private grandmothers". Agencies receive all information via the Internet.

17 How do people find each other? For searches, you also have to hire a special "agent" and pay him already. So this market is for intermediaries.

18 But the girl came by herself.

19 There are no statistics, but since the market exists and gathers thousands of people every Saturday and Sunday, this is still relevant.

20 Another reason for popularity: specifically in Shanghai, it is believed that before thirty it is early and young to get married, but when it hits thirty, it's too late! How to do everything, and build a career, and love?

21 The main thing is not to oversleep everything in the world.

22 How are you, married? Would you take advantage of such a market? Or are dating sites better? Where do they get acquainted today in Russia? At work? At the disco? On the bus?