Find out if a person is right for you. The ideal man: how to understand that he suits you

How to understand that he is not the hero of your novel before you find yourself in the registry office, dressed in a white dress? On several grounds.

How do you see the future differently?

You dream of seeing the world or working abroad, but he loves his native places and even goes on vacation only to the country. You want to live in a small house in the suburbs, and he is among the hustle and bustle of the metropolis. You are already ready for a family and children, but for now he does not want to take responsibility at all. With such a difference of opinions and preferences, conflicts are inevitable. Look for someone with whom you will look in the same direction.

You spend little time with him

You are not satisfied with your sex life

The harmonious development of relationships largely depends on sexual compatibility. “During orgasm, stimulation of the G-spot in a woman releases the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for emotional attachment to a partner. High-quality regular sex is a kind of struggle with the period that nature has set aside for the appearance of offspring - three years, ”says Valeria Aginskaya, sexologist and program director of the Secrets Sexual Education Center.

Perhaps, while you have enough romance, you just enjoy the company of your boyfriend and secretly hope that intimacy will get better over time. But if you are initially incompatible in bed, this is unlikely to happen. Moreover, according to our expert, an unsatisfied sexual need must be sublimated into something, and in the case of relationships, it most often spills over into scandals with a partner.

Any comparison is an involuntary search for the best. Do you catch yourself thinking like this? Chances are you're still on the lookout, even if you don't realize it. You are not ready to accept your boyfriend for who he is. And at some point, you will surely make a choice not in his favor.

You can't be yourself next to him.

Maybe you're just afraid that the young man won't love the real you? So you doom yourself to an endless change of masks, trying to choose the one that, in your opinion, will put you in a favorable light? Then you should relax and let go of the situation. If this is your man, he will accept you for who you are. And if not, why bother with it? Remember that each person is unique in their own way. And by playing someone else's role, you can miss the one who really suits you.

Your values in life are very different from his.

It is not necessary that all your life values coincide. Some of the differences are even beneficial, because of them both of you can grow as individuals. Let's say your health comes first. So every day you start with a run. In an effort to spend more time with you, your partner may want to join in. But if most of your views do not converge, this will inevitably serve as an occasion for irreconcilable differences in the future. The result will be mutual misunderstanding and accumulated grievances.

Text: Ksenia Slyusarenko

Entering into a relationship with a man, you need to think about your compatibility with him, of course, if you want to create strong family live together happily ever after. And this can be done by focusing on a few moments in communication. In this article, we will talk in detail about how to understand if a man is right for you.

Main features

According to the advice of psychologists, first of all, you need to focus on several important points.

Respect and mutual understanding

A serious long-term relationship can only be obtained with someone who treats you, your problems and achievements very reverently. Perhaps mutual respect in the family is the most important thing. You can understand that a guy respects his partner by the following signs:

He is willing to give in on certain issues. And this should not be considered a weakness. Only strong people capable of taking a step towards a girl like that. The weak, just, will not yield under any circumstances, because it is very important for them to assert themselves in any situation.
The young man always listens attentively to the girl, shows sincere interest in everything that happens to her. In fact, a man behaves like a real friend
The guy appreciates you and your opinion. This does not mean that he will always agree with you. But it will become clear that he did not let your concerns or wishes pass by his ears.
A man feels very well when something happens to you.
He is truly happy for all your victories.

We emphasize that we are talking about mutual understanding, and not about respect “unilaterally”. Even if a young man shows respect, and you use it and do not respond in the same way, nothing good will come of your life together. Sooner or later he will get tired of it, and he will find interesting woman who will understand everything, take into account and respect his opinion.

Man of dreams

In fact, only young and inexperienced girls, having seen enough of romantic films, try to find the ideal. Experienced women understand that it is impossible to meet a husband from a movie screen for one simple reason: there are no ideals. And if so, how to be?

You need to understand what qualities in a person are most important to you. Let them be few. Perhaps it will be difficult to decide on the go what is the most important thing in a man. Then you can vote. To do this, you need to write down about 10 qualities on a sheet, without which, in your opinion, an ideal man cannot do. We carefully reread what happened and gradually cross out the excess. As a result, we leave 3-5 most important male characteristics. They need to be guided.

Commonality of values

This is not about hobbies and hobbies, but about the far-reaching plans and interests of each person in a couple. For example, it is not scary that a young man loves football, and a woman loves shopping. From childhood we are used to: boys play with cars, girls play with dolls.

Here it is worth talking about global issues. For example, who sees the relationship and life together in 5-10 years. Let's say the girl chooses to actively move forward, and the guy thinks that everything is fine, nothing needs to be changed. In such a situation, the man is clearly unsuitable. He will stop a lady who wants to develop.

Intuition

Sometimes, just by listening to your heart, you can say: “Yes, this person is my destiny.” It is difficult to explain the mechanisms by which this feeling comes. No one will argue that this happens - intuition makes itself felt.

You shouldn't trust her completely. However, when you understand with your mind that a man is good, and then your intuition speaks about it, you can safely get married.

Quite a different matter:

horoscopes;
numerology;
magic.

Many girls believe this. Although checking compatibility only by the signs of the Zodiac is somehow strange. This is also true for tests based on the date of birth. There is nothing to say about magicians and sorcerers at all. We do not rule out that somewhere there are those who see the future. Basically, a lot of charlatans.

Be yourself

It is very important in a relationship not to pretend. The man with whom you have love, of course, needs to be respected.

But this does not mean that it is necessary to hide all your shortcomings and stick out your dignity.

A young man must also understand that you are not ideal. So, you need to put up with something, something - help correct and eliminate it.

If you look at it, in life we play too much, and we are not very sincere, real. You should not choose a guy who will not give you freedom in this matter.

intimacy

Above we talked about certain psychological aspects. Let's remember one physical thing: You should be good together in bed. However, everything here is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. You should not completely focus on this sign and look for the perfect partner.

There are examples in practice when, after a date that turned into a “horizontal plane”, a woman realized that a man was not very good in bed. But I gave him a chance, and everything was fine. In addition, it is worth remembering that sexual temperaments and preferences of partners can change over time.

Desire to have children

A traditional family cannot do without a child. At least one, but there should be. On the other hand, there are "childfree" people. It is important that the worldviews of the partners coincide. A girl who wants children, a man who also dreams about it will suit. And a woman who does not want to become a mother needs to pick up a guy with similar views.

The question can be viewed from different angles. Giving up on the idea of having a baby does not always mean that it will never happen. In some cases, it is necessary to regard it as follows: not now, a little later. Perhaps the couple should devote a year or two to themselves, and then deal with the issues of conceiving a child.

Other options

Women try to find out that a man is right for her in a variety of ways:

Answer questions in online tests that are posted online for free. The method has the right to life, if only the tasks were prepared by professional psychologists, and not by amateurs.
Trying to check compatibility appearance and smell. The method is based on several statements. First, good spouses should be somewhat similar to each other. Secondly, compatible people smell the same. As for similarity, it rather manifests itself over time and refers to internal qualities. What we talked about: respect, understanding of each other and the ability to compromise in certain cases. Finding a suitable husband only by photo is unrealistic. There are no reliable data on smells.
They are looking for husbands by the sonority of names and surnames. In fact, it is impossible to determine whether a young man is right for you, considering only this parameter. It's like finding out the weather, focusing only on the day of the week or month. It also rains in December.

Probably the most the best option- choose the type of man, analyzing his psychological portrait.

Ideally, involve a professional in solving the problem. And, of course, if you have already had a relationship, you do not need to repeat the mistakes of the past.

The first few months of the relationship of many couples develop ideally: joint walks, flirting, touching courtship, first kisses. But what will happen next? beautiful wedding and happy living together? Or endless conflicts, as a result of which you part "just friends"? Entering into a relationship with what is your person?

Why do many team up in pairs not with "their" people

Going on dates can be pleasant with almost any member of the opposite sex (if, of course, he does not cause antipathy): sunny weather, cozy atmosphere in a cafe or cinema, melodious music create the illusion that you are well together. Often there is no time to reflect on the question: "How to understand that this is your person by fate?" Should you worry about tomorrow when you can enjoy today?

However, a long romance with a partner whose outlook on life is very different from yours can hardly be called happy. Gradually, both sides begin to realize that they made a mistake. The guy and the girl notice flaws that they cannot reconcile with. Breaking up a relationship is often painful for both.

It would seem that the scenario of unhappy love is familiar to everyone. No one wants to get into it. Why, then, do many girls and guys make a serious mistake - enter into long-term relationships with partners that are not suitable for them? There are many reasons for this, the most common being:

1. Fear of public opinion. Many girls fear that if they remain alone for a long time, the environment will consider them "flawed" and "unnecessary". Giving too much importance to the opinions of others, they are in a hurry to enter into a relationship with a new partner without understanding their feelings properly.

2. Pressure from parents. Most mothers and fathers find it difficult to resist criticizing the "wrong" behavior of the child or giving him "good" advice. It is difficult for young boys and girls to distinguish between their own and their parents' opinions. Therefore, they often choose partners that are attractive to the older generation, and not to themselves.

3. "Love" in any one quality of the second half: wealth, spectacular appearance, popularity. At an early stage, a partner's positive trait may seem so significant that numerous disadvantages go unnoticed for a long time.

4. The conviction that the creation of a family needs to hurry. Many girls who have “stayed up in brides” are ready to accept a marriage proposal even from an unloved person.

5. Unplanned pregnancy. The future birth of a child often forces lovers to register their marriage as soon as possible. The groom is the father of the baby, who will be born very soon. Therefore, girls in this situation often do not already think about the question "how to understand that this is your man."

6. There are many young men and women who in their hearts consider themselves unworthy of love and happy marriage. They do not want to part with unsuitable partners, because they think that they will not find anyone else.

What does "second half" mean? She is one?

Among romantic girls and boys, it is widely believed that a person can have only one real love. Is it really? In fairy tales, there is often a plot: an extraordinary beauty is destined to be the wife of a handsome prince. Having met, they understand at first sight that they have been waiting for each other all their lives, and decide to get married.

AT real life However, there are many rebuttals to the fact that a person has only one “second half”.

Firstly, women and men most often fall in love more than once throughout their lives, and with each partner they are happy in their own way.

Secondly, young people do not usually have to travel around the world in search of "the one" or "the only one." A loved one is usually found in hometown: visiting friends, at work, on the street.

Thirdly, it is difficult to recognize "your" man or "your" woman in the first minutes of acquaintance. Relationships develop gradually. Again and again we have to ask ourselves the question: "How to understand that this is your person" in life ""?

In addition, psychologists say that for every guy and girl on the planet there are at least several thousand people with whom he or she can be happy in marriage. Thus, the myth of the only "second half" cannot be considered consistent.

Signs that he is "your" person

When entering into a romantic relationship with a member of the opposite sex, pay attention to:

what feelings do you have towards him;
how he behaves with you;
how relationships develop.

At first glance, it may seem that you are mutually in love. But how to understand that this is your person for life?

The following signs will indicate this:

Together you are easy and comfortable. You feel sympathy for each other.
There is a commonality of interests and hobbies. Your views on life are very similar.
The second half is not indifferent to your opinion.
You understand his motives.
It is pleasant for you not only to talk together, but also to be silent.
You are not annoyed by your partner's shortcomings, he is also calm about your "quirks".
In general, you are confident in the feelings of your loved one. You don't have to think about why he behaves the way he does.
You give each other roughly equal amounts of attention.
Your relationship begins to resemble a marital relationship: common deeds, plans, similar points of view on various issues appear. You easily negotiate with each other.
People notice that you and your loved one are similar in appearance. You yourself see it.
Style and his are similar.
You feel that even if your loved one is seriously ill or out of work, he still will not lose his attractiveness in your eyes.

Signs that the relationship is not likely to work out

1. He openly flirts with other girls in front of you.

2. Some features of the chosen one are very annoying, I want to “re-educate” him.

3. You like any special quality of your partner, such as a spectacular appearance or wealth. But deep down you understand: he will cease to be attractive in your eyes, having lost his advantage.

4. He regularly fails to keep his promises to you.

A guy can be very handsome, but neither at school nor at universities do they explain how to understand that this is your man. The psychology of relationships, however, is a full-fledged science. Researchers in this field know many methods and tricks to help find the answer to an important riddle of fate.

Try, for example, using the following methods:

1. Imagine that you already live together: in the morning you greet each other, start a new day. Pay attention to the details: who takes the bathroom first, what do you eat for breakfast? Imagine how you solve everyday issues together, agree on plans for the evening, distribute the budget, relax? As you visualize a possible future, pay attention to how you feel about it.

2. Tell your boyfriend stories about problem situations (real and imagined) from different people's lives. Ask unobtrusive questions to understand how your chosen one would act under similar circumstances.

3. Gently ask how your loved one has had relationships with girls in the past. For what reasons did he break up with former passions? You should not, however, raise this topic in conversations more than once.

4. Invite the chosen one to do something together, for example, invite friends over and prepare in advance for the party. Pay attention to how you both feel and behave in a situation where you need to do something together.

From the point of view of the Orthodox religion

How to understand that this is your person? Orthodoxy recommends turning to the Holy Scriptures for this. The plots of the Bible indicate that a person does not choose his half, that God sends it to him.

The clergy remind:

When making a choice, it is important to remember God and God's Will.
You can turn to the Almighty in prayers with a request to help you make the right decision.
Young people should be faithful to each other, live in sincere love and harmony, not commit adultery even in thoughts. Therefore, the choice of a spouse should be taken responsibly.
Christianity does not approve, but does not strictly condemn marriage with a person belonging to another faith. It is highly undesirable to marry only an atheist.
You can not choose a life partner, focusing only on his physical attractiveness or property status. When choosing a couple, it is important to take into account the commonality of worldviews.
Marriage should be based on consent, respect and cooperation.
It is important to find out how a loved one relates to religion. The right family life, according to the laws of Christianity, is when a husband and wife honor God together, get to know him through their love, and pray together.

How to understand that this is your person by fate? Orthodoxy helps to make the right decision.

From an esoteric point of view

Many people, in order to solve important life problems, do not turn to religion, but to other knowledge. Of course, how to understand that this is your person by fate, esotericism will not immediately give an exact answer. But, turning to this teaching, you will learn to “order” the Universe to fulfill your desires.

Esotericists recommend pronouncing words, addressing them to the Higher Power in which you believe and from which you expect help (angels, the Universe): “Please make sure that I know for sure whether this is my person.” Specify the time period during which you would like to receive a response. Many people who practice communication with a Higher Power have reported that a clear and distinct "response" from the Universe came to them already in the first minutes after the request was formulated. The answer came in the form of an overheard phrase from a conversation, a fragment of a TV show, a brief advice from a stranger, an unusual event.

However, the answer of fate may not contain an unambiguous "yes" or "no". The “Universe” may recommend, for example, to reflect on a problem on your own or talk to someone about an exciting topic.

Signs of fate

If you believe in fate and pay attention to its signs, you will immediately feel if something special begins to happen in life. When you enter into a relationship with a guy, you want to know how to understand that this is your man. Solving this difficult task, pay attention to whether your connection has the following signs:

Many times you run into this guy on the street or visiting friends, not striving for it at all.
He seems to be like one of your old, long-forgotten friends.
If you have a desire to leave, new circumstances arise that clearly interfere with this.
You get amazing hints from fate that you will be together. For example, you accidentally come across an article in a magazine or a movie whose plot resembles the history of your relationship.

It should be borne in mind, however, that if fate brings you together with a guy, this is not at all a guarantee that your relationship will subsequently be happy and last a lifetime. It is possible that the universe needs your connection for a short period. For example, in order for an unusual child to be born as a result of it.

Dream analysis

How to understand that this is your person if you regularly see and remember specific dreams? Night visions can provide a lot of valuable information. How to work with her?

When you wake up, immediately write down the dream. Record on paper all the details of night vision: the sequence of events, the relationships of the characters, the furnishings that you remember, your feelings. It is especially important to note the “strange things” that could not have happened in reality. Often it is in them that the key to the meaning of night vision lies.
In order to interpret a dream, you should re-read what you have written. By the way, people often understand the meaning of night vision already when they fix its content on paper.
Do not rush to turn to dream books. Most often they contain an incorrect interpretation of the characters. Pay attention to how professional psychologists and fortune tellers analyze the plots of dreams on the Internet. Try to learn from their experience.
Think about what area of \u200b\u200blife the night vision concerns: love relationships, careers, creativity, health? Girls, for whom the question of how to understand that this is your man by fate, is very important, often have dreams about the relationship between men and women.
Come up with a title for your story.
Write down the characters you met in your dream. Think of names for strangers and creatures. Try to guess why they could appear in your night vision.
Pay attention to awkward situations and feelings that arose in a dream

Analyzing night visions, you will understand a lot about your relationship with the opposite sex.

From an astrological point of view

Is it possible, having studied the secrets of the stars, to obtain reliable information as to whether you will be together? How to find out that this is your person by date of birth? Do not rely only on this method and take forecasts too seriously. However, you can play with numbers and find out what makes your relationship with your loved one unique.

Write down your date of birth and the date of birth of your partner in numbers.

If the result is a two-digit number, its digits must be added again: 5+2=7.

1 - you are both leaders and subconsciously always fight over who is in charge.

2 - relationships are based on a material basis. Such families, as a rule, are very wealthy, because a business partnership develops between the spouses. Even just by talking to each other, you can generate ideas on how to increase the common wealth. But passion and sensuality in such unions is not enough.

3 is the number of impermanence. Partners communicate a lot with each other, but irregularly. They can repeatedly pair up and part again.

4 - the number of home comfort, warmth, comfort. It is very easy for partners to be together. However, uniting, they aim not at cooperation, but at a joint vacation. Fours often hinder each other's professional development.

5 - a very romantic union, in which there is a place for gentle kisses and heart-to-heart talk. They say about such people: "They married for great love."

6 - both partners are ready to jointly strive for financial prosperity, help each other solve problems of various kinds. The number is favorable not only for marriage, but also for the joint creation of a business. Often men and women in such couples, even after parting, continue to communicate with each other as comrades and partners.

7 - a girl and a guy agree perfectly with each other. Each behaves diplomatically towards the other. But the “seven” is characterized by some optionality: lovers often do not fulfill the promises made to each other.

8 - between people in such a union there is a strong mutual attraction, but at the same time one partner always manipulates the other.

9 - the relationship of two "philosophers". A man and a woman influence each other in such a way that both "fall out" of real life. Their favorite pastime is to talk for a long time about pipe dreams.

Is your boyfriend a mystery? But now you know how to understand that this is your person by fate. By the date of birth of both of you!

Magic rituals that allow you to recognize "your" person

How to understand that this is your person by fate? Divination has helped our grandmothers since time immemorial. There are rituals that help determine whether you are destined to be together.

Try one of the magical rituals described below:

"A Conversation with a Higher Power"

Light a candle. Say the words: "Angels of love, reveal the truth to me, ... (your name), will I be with ... (name of the chosen one)." Breathe in the scent of the candle. After that, you need to go out into the street and ask the first person you meet any question that implies a yes or no answer. For example:

Do you have a watch?
Did a man come out of this entrance now?
Did you choose this beautiful costume yourself?
Do you live in this house?
Do you have a brother (sister)?
Have you ever vacationed in Bulgaria?

If the person answers positively, you are destined to be together with the chosen one. If negative, then you are likely to break up.

"Pendulum of Fate"

Take a small object that can play the role of a plumb line (bolt, pebble, heavy button, needle), tie a thread to it. Take the resulting pendulum in your hand. Wait until he freezes. Ask the "pendulum" if he is ready to "talk" to you. If an object tied to a thread began to sway, then approaching you, then moving away, this should be interpreted as an affirmative answer. If it moves from left to right and vice versa, then the answer is no. At the moment when the pendulum is ready to “talk”, you can ask any questions about the chosen one.

"Magic Conspiracy"

This method was used by our great-grandmothers, who always knew how to understand that this is your person by fate. The conspiracy will help if you pronounce it over melt water.

First you need to prepare such water. To do this, pour non-carbonated mineral water into an ordinary glass glass and put it in the freezer. Wait for the liquid to completely freeze. Then take a glass of water out of the freezer and wait for the water to thaw. When only a small ice cube remains, remove it from the glass and discard. Water from a glass can now be used for a spell.

Leaning over her, you need to say the words: “Higher power, give me, ... (your name), to know for sure whether this is my person. Reply within 24 hours. After that, drink water. The answer will come soon.

Some magicians claim that a conspiracy in poetic form is more effective, for example this:

Leaning over the water

I call: to my house,

Angel of Light, come

Stand behind me, behind me.

And hours later ... twenty

Let me know please:

Who has a bolt on the heart

Mine can break.

If you are already dating the guy you like, how do you know that this is your man? Listen to yourself and your feelings. If you are destined to be together by fate, then all doubts will very soon disappear by themselves.

The beginning of a new relationship can drive both sexes into a panic. But if young people are relatively calm about such romantic changes in life, then girls often plunge into deep thought. It seems to them that the person they like will not be a prince on a white horse at all, and not even a simple one. nice guy. They are tormented by the main question: “how to understand that a man suits you?” You don’t need to go into heavy thoughts once again, you just need to read this article and decide for yourself whether this is the right person, or it’s worth looking a little more.

Psychological ways to understand that a man suits you

Knowledge psychological aspects the difference between a man and a woman will give ease in relationships and the ability to "not bother"

The similarity of the way of thinking of a man and a woman, some features of the character of the chosen one and the attitude of the girl towards them - all this determines the psychological side of the question of understanding the "suitable partner". At the same time, to assess compatibility, it is not at all necessary to have special knowledge from the field of scientific psychology, it is enough to look at some details of his behavior and the girl's reaction to them.

Joint conversations

It happens that after meeting somewhere on the Internet, people agree to meet, but the man cannot say a word, does not support any conversation. At this point, you should not draw conclusions, they are most likely to be erroneous. If a person was cheerful in electronic correspondence, then sooner or later he will become the same in live communication. He's just shy, somewhat confused!

People live in a society, therefore, by the ability of a person to communicate, one can determine the degree of his socialization.

But if over time the situation does not change, and the conversation does not stick, then life with such a man will be hard and boring, you need to run away from him. The reasons for this situation lie in:

lack of common interests;
isolation of a man;
desire young man to hide something (it happens very rarely).

If you really like a man, you should try to bring him into a frank conversation about the reasons for constantly avoiding the conversation, but this is unlikely to lead to anything: it's one thing if he's just embarrassed to talk, and another thing is the lack of common interests.

Comfort

Sometimes, in the presence of a person, a woman feels completely safe, under the cover of protection and guardianship, surrounded by tenderness. This is the highest degree of so-called comfort. This also includes a sense of security from himself. Yes, on first dates, a timid girl may be afraid of a new man, which is quite rare, but if the feeling of anxiety does not go away for a long time (after 3-4 dates), then this man is definitely not suitable.

If there is a persistent feeling that something is going wrong at the beginning of living together, then it is better to leave

A young man may not pose a real danger to a girl, she just does not relax with him. A man can be 1000 times good, handsome and smart, but if there is such a flaw, then you can safely forget about relations with him, this will not lead to anything good. By the way, there is a direct connection with the general topics of conversation mentioned above - if they are not there, then there will be no comfort.

The opportunity to spend time in silence

The search for the ideal is a long and difficult process.

Well, if we are talking about the “candy-bouquet” period, constant communication is not only inevitable, it will only be a joy for both! But with the advent of joint family life the situation is changing a little - in the evenings you want to sit in silence, and no one has yet canceled work at home. It is necessary to assess whether a man is able to keep his distance, that is, not to violate his personal space for some time. If a young man constantly shows signs of attention, needs constant communication, and it annoys you, forget about him. This is not his fault, it's just that your need for communication and attention does not match.

Thrift

Joint life includes not only a holiday, fun and sex, it is also a joint life. If a partner cannot even drive a nail into the wall, then he is not the best partner, although this cannot be called a determining factor - what if a young man earns very well, and is he able to hire a specialist to “drive in a nail”? But if this is not the case, then you should think hard, because a woman will have to take on some of the frankly male household duties. Moreover, you need to think if a man "can, but does not want to", that is, is lazy. It is almost impossible to deduce this character trait, and it is not necessary, let him live his lazy life.

Housekeeping is a parameter by which a future partner should be evaluated at the beginning of family life

Another thing is helping a woman in her affairs, for example, cooking, cleaning, washing. Refusing to help? It's not a question, but let him earn enough to have enough for a normal life, and to facilitate the performance of typical female functions, for example, in the form of buying a good dishwasher. If you can't, then help. Separation of duties is the right way for an accomplished couple. Unambiguously assert about typically female prerogatives in everyday life in modern world stupid. Whoever has the time and skills cooks or cleans. This path will greatly facilitate mutual understanding and allow the couple to spend more time with each other.

We are talking about the ability to save money, and not about outright greed. Proper distribution of the budget is implied. This is especially noticeable if a man does not turn over millions, or even is poor - he earns little, but lives well. This means that the young man is able to direct his money in the right direction, he can be trusted. And the career prospects of such men are much more pleasant than those of a spender.

The ability to set aside funds and allocate a budget is an excellent quality for a potential partner

It's important to remember that some guys try to show off on the first date. They lead to an expensive restaurant, give an expensive bouquet. At the same time, money for the event was accumulated for about a week, after the end of the meeting the man will remain “empty”. It is impossible to calculate it right away, but after two or three dates everything will fall into place. And here the main thing is not to make a mistake - this is a show-off or a desire to make it pleasant. If the latter, then the person is most likely good, but not economical, and you need to run away from the first.

Sex

What is a relationship without intimacy? But it is important to understand the intentions of the young man. From the first hours, or even minutes of acquaintance, does he talk about sex or hint at it? Then this is clearly not the case, although if a woman is not against such connections, then you can take a chance. But with a focus on serious relationship such a rush should be alarming. Probably, this man needs a girl only for sex, and it’s good, if not a one-time. Another option - the young man is just preoccupied, it can even be dangerous!

Own feelings, sympathy, skills - the criteria for choosing most girls

And here it is - the first romantic evening. There is only one criterion - it's good with this person or not. Just by feeling. But you can’t do without emotional sympathy, if it doesn’t exist, then it’s unlikely that you will be able to get pleasure from communication. But the mastery of a man in bed in the first place can be ignored, perhaps he is simply inexperienced. Difficulties with erection on the first intimate date can also be forgiven, a man is worried, and this is even good - it means that he is serious. But if this continues all the time, then problems may arise over time. Talk to the man, find out if this has happened before and make a decision. You may need treatment, but most likely you will just need to get to know each other and "get used to it."

Astrological signs of compatibility

Synastry is a kind of "science" capable of determining the compatibility of a man and a woman by date of birth, zodiac sign and some other astrological indicators. Within the framework of one article, it is simply impossible to talk about all the criteria, but in general terms, the information is quite clear.

Compatibility of people by the arrangement of stars is a subjective sign, but many believe in it

Date of Birth. This indicator determines compatibility in terms of prospects for the development of relations. It is about the desire to change and start a new life. If a woman, according to this astrological criterion, does not want intimacy, but craves windy connections, then the male opposite will not be able to do anything about it.
Zodiac sign. This is the most common and important criterion. It determines compatibility in communication, at home, in bed and even in joint rest. It must be said that in the past few years, the signs of the zodiac have ceased to play such a serious role in determining the personality of a person - modern living conditions force us to adapt to almost everything.

It is not recommended to make compatibility horoscopes on your own. An inexperienced "user" can make a bunch of mistakes in the natal chart, which will invariably affect the correctness of the decision when choosing a man.

It is better to seek help from professional astrologers, who are now divorced a lot. There are a lot of scammers among them, so before you carry money to the "stargazer", check out the reviews about his work. There are also online horoscopes that check the compatibility of a man and a woman. Their accuracy is minimal, and they require a lot of money. Do not draw conclusions based on such tests!

Signs that destroy the future

The main criteria that determine the compatibility of a man and a woman were discussed above. But there are still a few additional signs that, although they hardly appear at an early stage of a relationship, can become a serious problem in the future.

For each person, the list of “compatibility” criteria is different - no need to sacrifice principles for the sake of passion

The man loves to drink. If a potential chosen one cannot imagine a vacation without a glass of vodka or a glass of beer, then in the future there is a risk of developing alcoholism.
The man is quick-tempered, easily goes into conflict. A balanced, calm partner solves all problems peacefully, using force only as a last resort, and never goes over to shouting. If now he is “dusty” due to minor conflicts, then with the beginning of family life, especially after the “crisis of six months”, he can begin to dissolve his hands.
The young man is trying to show his importance by constantly throwing dust in his eyes. This is what he will do, instead of growing above himself, and pushing his family forward. In addition, such an approach to life will quickly ruin the relationship of a potential soulmate with the girl's relatives and friends.
A man has no purpose in life, a hobby. ANDa woman will go out all her life together with him. In addition, such men like to drink "from nothing to do", this has already been mentioned above.
The man does not like children. If the girl herself does not plan to give birth to a child, then there is nothing wrong with that, on the contrary, she will not constantly pester with talk about the “heir”. Otherwise, the future will not work. Even if the baby is born, the discord will only be a matter of time. However, after the appearance of the first-born, some men dramatically change their attitude towards children.

You can put up with one of these signs, since over time it is really possible to cope with such a disadvantage. But if two or more are combined, then, unfortunately, you should not start a relationship.

A girl does not need to take building relationships and choosing the man of her dreams lightly. Least of all attention should be paid to astrological criteria, in some cases they simply do not work - "star" features come to naught under certain conditions of life. But here the psychological moments should become a basis of a choice. If a woman is not comfortable with a man, he does not give her personal space and does not want to put up with her cockroaches in her head, then the best solution would be to find another life partner!

The next stage that I want to talk to you about in this article is the beginning of a relationship!

Acquainting and getting to know men, you gradually choose the one with whom you will seriously continue the relationship. At this final stage, you also have to take three important steps.

The first step is to determine your type of man ...
and take a look at its opposite

If you start to remember what type of men you like, attracts your attention, causes sympathy, attracts - often this type repeats the images of previous relationships or the image of the father.

Moreover, it happens that we have, for example, a childish stereotype that a man is cold, aloof, and we are looking for the same men, we like it when they are so cold, mysterious. But in fact, it is not drawn to him, but to the image that emotionally sunk in childhood, and it is completely unrelated to building family relationships, but is connected simply with the childish image of the father or another man.

You probably noticed that you like about the same type of men. Think about what attracts you in this type? It often happens that this type does not have the right qualities for a long-term relationship.

Or it can be a very active and sexually attractive, energetic, lively man, and you like that he is so sociable, active. But this can also resemble some kind of image from school, when you liked such a boy-leader, but he did not pay attention to you, and you are still trying to complete it subconsciously.

Therefore, specifically begin to recognize and pay attention to the type of men who have not attracted you before. Take your time to say no, go a little further, get to know this man a little closer.

I will give an illustrative example. One of my clients said: “One guy invited me to a restaurant, I sat and talked with him, and I got so bored, I didn’t even know what to say to him, and he asked me, was interested, looked.
And suddenly it dawned on me that at that moment I was thinking about a man who does not pay attention to me, but I want to turn him around and win him over. But right now, a man is sitting opposite me, who gives me attention, care, is interested in me, treats me with great respect.
And that's exactly what I need."

We sometimes unconsciously choose the type of men who repeat our old story, and we do not see that in our environment there is a man who can give everything that is important to us. He just doesn't fit into the type that we've been trying to win so far. Therefore, at the beginning of a relationship, it is important to begin to be interested in men of a different type. ?

Step two - listen to the man

Indeed, at the stage of meeting and starting a relationship, it is important to learn to be sincerely interested in men and listen to them in order to see a man, and not your own cliché. Because often we immediately form some patterns, draw conclusions, but we cannot see a living, real man behind these patterns.

Just at this stage, you will need sincere respect and a vision of the virtues in every man. Learn to recognize a man, ask questions, listen carefully. Be interested, curious, as much as possible.

Really be surprised that such a unique person is in front of you, and let this interest be joyful for you, and not like an exam, let it be learning something new. Behind each person is a whole Universe, you can recognize a person endlessly.

He, too, changes every day, and the men with whom you began to get acquainted, in three days can open up from a completely different side. Most importantly, avoid templates, do not jump to conclusions. Give yourself time to get to know the man, but do not enter into sexual relations until you get to know him more.

Communicate more, avoid virtual communication. It happens that communication over the Internet, SMS goes on for a very long time - if this goes on for too long, close these relationships or encourage the man to meet, and it is in a personal meeting on neutral territory, always in a public place (in a cafe, on the street, but not at home ).

Get to know a man, ask him any questions, be sincerely interested, understanding that he is the whole Universe. He has passed a whole life path, he has some understanding of life, some goal, he also wants something in a relationship.

Be very careful of his inner world and at the same time curious. Show respect and interest, be attentive to him, but remember and accept that he has advantages and disadvantages.

Sometimes you can take the initiative and invite him somewhere. This is great because you want to understand it more. If he asks: "Why do you need this?" You can say it directly: “I'm interested in understanding you. You are really interesting to me as a man. I really want to understand what is important for you, interesting.

It's really interesting to understand both a man and any other person.

To be continued...

Irina Petrova(www.irinapetrova.ru)

Lead Trainer GRC Relationship Centers. For more than 15 years, he has been training in relationship building and leadership.