"ideal" parent. Subjective opinion - e classes

Ideal parent: What is he like?

A person is arranged in such a way that he cannot but be concerned about the thought of how others treat him, what they think of him. We constantly interact with each other: at work, at home, with strangers, therefore, we are not indifferent to how our words and deeds are evaluated.

And we parents are no exception. The ideal parent... What is he like? What kind of parents do they think we are? We addressed these questions to the children of our school, went to websites where family relationships are discussed, asked the students of our school to write essays about their parents .. This material formed the basis parent meeting.

The problem of “fathers and sons” has always worried the minds of people. Why find mutual language Is it sometimes more difficult with your own child than with a stranger? Each new generation is trying to find its own answer to this question, its own way, not like the one that was before it. At the same time, new values, new views, new priorities arise.

It is proud that it is a generation of advanced ideas, gets used to them, they become the basis of the worldview of our children. This is how the guys answered the question: “Why is it sometimes difficult for parents and children to understand each other?”: “The difference in age, tastes, worldview interferes”, “It is not easy for parents to understand modern children”, “Too different understanding of the real world”.

Yes, this problem is as old as the world. But today it is sharper than ever. Why? We see that our children, denying the values ​​to which we are accustomed and consider them immutable, not only do not listen to our opinion, but also cease to respect us, to reckon with us. And respect, honoring parents has always been a law, something holy and indisputable, despite all the disagreements. In this regard, I would like to give examples of the answers of the guys .

So, why is it sometimes difficult for parents and children to understand each other?

“They don’t agree, parents consider themselves more experienced and smarter”

“Because they have different views on the same problem and ways to solve it”

“Because children, especially teenagers, want freedom in all respects, while parents want to take care of their children in everything”

“Because we are from different generations, what is clear to us is not clear to them”

“Parents and children have different ideologies, that’s why they conflict”

“Children are hindered by the youthful maximalism present in every teenager”

“Because we are brought up in the 21st century, and parents are used to the old fashioned way”

“We are similar in character, but we live in different times”

“Parents judge us by their time, and we begin to prove to them that this is old-fashioned”

“Parents have lived and know more than children, children try to prove their own and are often wrong”

On one of the sites (teacher of Russian language and literature Tatyana Anatolyevna Denisova.) I found the thoughts of the guys about why conflicts arise between parents and children and how to avoid them.

Sveta, 11th grade:"Fathers and sons" - the problem of relations between parents and children is as old as the world. I think that it is always necessary to find contact with parents, because they are the closest, dearest people. Everything that is sacred for a person is passed on to him by his parents…” – 62.5% of the children surveyed in our school think the same way.

Yanina, 9th grade:"In our time, there is a great lack of communication between close people. Often, communication difficulties arise in those families in which one of the parents works far from home and is forced to live separately from the family. But sometimes parents, although they live at home, go to work when the children have not woken up, but come back when they are already asleep... Of course, there are days off and holidays... But if you do not see your family for the whole week, it is impossible to catch up over the weekend...

Natasha, 9th grade"Our parents and we were brought up at completely different times, maybe that's why many conflicts arise in the family. It seems to me that in most cases the children are to blame. Of course, if you go ahead in battle, you can only achieve misunderstanding. But sometimes it happens, that you are trying to explain something to your parents, but they don’t even try to understand you and firmly stand their ground. Of course, parents have the right to forbid you or refuse something, but they should not go too far with the child’s patience ... "- the same thought can be traced in the answers and our children. (48.3%).

Maxim 11 cells:"Ever since I can remember, I hear from my parents:" We want you only good, only good. "Then why are they trying to infringe on me in everything? Or does it just seem to me? Yes, maybe my friends are not perfect, but after all, both children and adults have shortcomings! Actually, I understand that living with parents in peace and harmony is not so difficult. How many times have I been convinced of this! However, no matter how good it is, everything grievances and resentments also happen.And while we are children, and we will be them, while we live with our parents, there will be conflicts for the reason that parents have already made their mistakes, and we, in their opinion, are simply obliged to learn from them and not make your mistaken moves."

Andrey, 10th grade:"Talking about learning and behavior is the most frequent conversation with children in a family. But if all communication between parents and children comes down to control and supervision, it can do little to educate a person ... In social studies lessons, we studied that rudeness, intolerance ", the desire to do the opposite - most often this is just a kind of protection for adolescents from adult encroachment on their personality. I agree with this, as well as with the fact that this is a sign of the wrong attitude of parents towards their maturing son or daughter. "

Nelly 9 grade"For example, a teenager asks his parents to go to a disco, and they start saying:" In my time, I went to dances from the age of 18, etc. "This song sounds in almost every home. It's just that parents have outdated views on life"

Danil 11 cl.“You can’t blame children for all conflicts. There is such a reason for quarrels - parental vanity: they often reproach us for not being as good as they would like to see us ...”.

Ivan grade 10"Conflicts between parents and children are inevitable. Take, for example, school, because of which I often have skirmishes with my parents, as they simply do not understand how difficult it is for me when they give a lot of lessons, and I stay up late trying to understand, for example, a problem in physics... Whatever parents they may be, they will still remain parents, and without them, we, children, will hardly be able to live on our own in the near future, because they are what no, but still our support and hope in life.

Svetlana grade 9 "The best way to avoid conflict is to silently listen to the opinion of the parents.

Stepan 10 cells“I believe that it is impossible to completely avoid conflicts between adolescents and adults, but it is possible to significantly downplay the tension on this“ battlefield ”it is possible. Our“ recklessness ”usually confuses parents.

For example, this afternoon I was going to go out for a walk, and just put on my favorite T-shirt, as my mother says, so that I take it off and put on a warm jacket. And here, it would seem, from scratch, a serious battle flares up, often turning into a barely restrained cry. I go for a walk in a T-shirt, pleased with my victory. Before going to bed, as always, I restore the chronology of the day and write down the events in my diary. And suddenly I realize that in fact the conflict was absolutely trifling: it was cold on the street, and I was wrong. I did not benefit from a quarrel, my mother did not talk for half an evening, I had to ask for forgiveness. I decide not to do this in the future and solemnly swear this to myself ..

But there are conflicts that are really important: the choice of friends, places of study, professions, etc. Here the chances of expressing the only correct point of view are equalized and it is necessary to carefully listen to each other and decide who is right, to find a compromise.

I recall the amazing phrase of Mark Twain: "When I was 16 years old, it seemed to me that my father was a complete fool, when I was 20 years old, I began to think how this fool had grown wiser in a short time, and when I was 30 years old, I realized what a complete fool I was at 16 and 20 years old."

Ideal parents ... This topic affects everyone and everyone, because each of us is someone's parent and each of us is someone's child. When children are small, parents are the height of perfection for them, they accept the ideals and values, norms of morality and behavior of their parents. With age, there is a change of significant persons, a restructuring of relationships with adults. How older child the more critical his attitude towards his parents.

We, parents, sometimes impose excessively high demands on children: children must unquestioningly obey and fulfill the requirements of their parents, why does he (she) deceive me? Is it really that hard to study well? Whatever you ask to do, they will surely forget. And we forget that this applies to almost ideal children. Have we ourselves never forgotten anything, never deceived, always studied well?

Children when answering the question: Which parent can be considered ideal? showed great forbearance. This is how they imagine the ideal parent.

What is the ideal parent like?

9th grade

“Who can listen, understand and accept”

"Kind, understanding, not setting strict prohibitions, able to listen"

"Good, not forbidding anything not hazardous to health"

"Calm but demanding, kind but strict"

“Kind, sensitive, sympathetic, smart, he will never betray, he is always there”

"Loving his children and his family"

"who understand you"

“This is the one who will let you make a mistake and then give advice to experience this mistake for yourself and not repeat it again.”

“Who doesn’t swear and doesn’t force you to do homework”

“Ideal parents are my parents, they are the best!!!”

« The ideal parent is a mentor who helps in everything »

“Kind, fair, there is strictness in him, he will always advise and help”

“Kind, strict, a little cheerful, knows the moment when to stop”

"With a sense of humor"

“Very kind, to let him go for a walk every day and not scream because of any nonsense”

“I can’t imagine it (but mine are still the best in the world)”

“The ideal parent is when he takes care of children, plays, goes for a walk, Buys sweets. And when it doesn't swear"

“Allows not to do homework and watch TV as much as you like, every day he buys cakes”

11 B A lot of answers: kind, caring, good listener

" My parents. I love them no matter what!”

“Who has managed to raise a child so well that it is not difficult for him to live in modern world»

"Kind, caring, able to listen, help"

"Moderately demanding, attentive, forgiving everything"

“Parents are not chosen, the ideal one whom God has given”

“Kind, loving, helping in any situation, these are my mom and dad”

"Kind, strict in moderation, modern"

"If he can replace best friend will understand and help, I will be happy "

"My mom is my ideal"

And here is what the guys wrote in their essays about their relationship with the closest people - parents:

Angela, 16 years old:“Of course, I don’t complain about my own, but my parents are still far from ideal. Firstly, I believe that ideal parents should be people who in no case behave in such a way that the slightest disagreement between them and the child develops into scandals (it happens in my family). Secondly, I believe that parents are simply obliged to consult with their children when issues regarding the children themselves are resolved (it happens that parents decide for me).

Victor 17 years old: My parents are almost perfect. I can always turn to them with any question, we often discuss current events with them, we have almost complete mutual understanding. They don’t force me to do anything, I always have a choice, the only thing I don’t like is that they allow themselves to open letters that come to me, read my notes without asking, try to control my leisure.

Olga, 14 years old: Loving, understanding, caring - this is what an ideal parent should be. I have an example in my life: this is my aunt. She always speaks and argues with me on an equal footing. She understands me perfectly, and we can talk with her on any topic. She loves her children, her husband, all her relatives. She has an open soul, and now there is almost none of that. People have become closed, they love only themselves, but there are no others.

Judging by the answers, not so much children need from their parents. Like any person: understanding, kindness, attention, sensitivity, the ability to accept as it is and forgive. And next to this is what parents want so much: strictness, advice, upbringing.

Of course, we want them (our children) to take only the best from us. Yes, we are all not perfect. Probably, everyone has a time of sadness, periods of doing nothing or irritability that is even disgusting to himself. This is fine. To be not an ideal and a superhero from the cover, but a living person. I think our children want to see us like this

We also asked the guys: What, in their opinion, most irritates parents in children?

35.5% of the children surveyed believe that stubbornness irritates parents most of all in children, 32.9% - failure to comply with instructions and requests from parents. 87.6% of children are sure that nothing irritates parents so much as disputes on any issue and disobedience, 76.5% - poor school performance. 28.4% see the cause of quarrels in the fact that children, according to their parents, do not think about their future. The difficult nature of children is a frequent cause for conflicts, according to 23.1% of the children who participated in the survey.

We were interested to know the opinion of children on how they should be brought up.

36.8% answered - by personal example of parents, 31.1% - by advice. Using the carrot and stick method - 18.4%, 13.7% believe that the best thing is to provide a certain freedom with subsequent responsibility for actions.

Most of the time, we give advice to our children ourselves. The teacher Vsevolod Petrovich Kashchenko, however, believed that only he can become a good teacher who tirelessly educates himself.

Here are some of his tips:

Being a parent means going through a great school of patience.

Children should be for us, first of all, not potential athletes, musicians or intellectuals - they should be just children.

If we love them, regardless of whether they behave badly or well, then children will sooner get rid of habits and antics that irritate us.

If we do not learn to rejoice in children's successes, they will increasingly feel their incompetence, they will become convinced that it is useless to try - demanding parents always need more than the child can.

What matters is not the amount of time spent with the child, but the quality of communication.

The last question of the questionnaire: Do you want to be like your parents?

The vast majority of children answered that they would like to be like their parents – 72,9 % (I want to be like my mother, I admire my parents: they are smart, beautiful, successful people, my mother is far away, but she is always aware of my affairs), 14.8% - believe that each person is individual, and you need to be yourself. 12.3% would not want to be like their parents.

What is the best way to build relationships with the people we love the most? How to achieve the respect of our children, despite all the difference in worldviews and views?

The Holy Scripture says: "Educate a child in his way." This means that it is necessary to seek contacts with him, to influence him through his own interests. If we understand the needs and desires of children, the questions that torment them, and start at least trying to find answers to them together with them, then our problems will be solved by themselves.

Today, dear parents, we looked into the hearts and thoughts of our children, found out what they think of us, how they want to see us. However, how difficult it is in our daily life to follow these simple commandments, how difficult it is to meet the high-profile standard - the "ideal parent"!

And yet it is necessary, because what is at stake is the fate of not abstract, but real, our one and only children. Let our relationship with them be harmonious and let our children proudly say to others: “My parents are perfect!”

In the minds of many people, there is a myth about the "ideal parent", about how he should raise his children, what he should and should not do at the same time. In this article, I set myself the task of dispelling this myth and explaining why such "ideality" in education does not bring anything good, is very harmful for children, and how it all affects the authority of parents.

Imagine two ideal parents. They do everything for their child: they devote a lot of time to their child, invest in him all their strength, money, they try to be an example for him in everything and save him from the hardships of life, yield to him, do not punish, wish the best for him , sometimes unrealized in life by them ... It is this picture that arises before the eyes of many non-ideal parents, which they would like to achieve in education. Sometimes such ideality is imposed on them by parents, friends, colleagues, other families with children ... And parents, by all means, begin to put an "experiment" on their family and decide to become ideal, because it is so "correct". Then everything begins to develop according to two opposite (and, sometimes, somewhat similar scenarios):

1. The ideality of parents brings up in the child such a quality as perfectionism, which they carry through the rest of their lives. Such children, as a rule, set high standards for themselves in many areas of their lives and try to live up to it. There is an undoubted plus in this - to achieve more in life, set goals and realize them, study well, be an example for future children in your family, etc. For this, they pay with fears of falling, making mistakes, getting a three or four, being not up to par, stress, poor health, and this does not bring happiness.
2. A child who sees the ideality of his parents in everything may find it hard to endure it and feel like a nonentity in such a family. " After all, his parents are so ideal, and where can I be up to them! Therefore, I will not even try to achieve something in my life, because it will not be so right / good anyway". Life according to such a scenario for a child passes in constant fears and anxiety, low self-esteem, self-doubt. Even if a child tries to prove that he is good, that he is worth something, he will not feel loved. And, most importantly, he will never be able to satisfy his parents, even though he will try his best. Ideal parents will each time strive for greater and greater ideals, at one moment they will not have enough of what they used to be happy about and what they were proud of. This behavior sucks them in, and they have little understanding of what their children need, what their needs and desires are, and what kind of parents they really would like to become, despite the prejudices of others. And both sides suffer here. educational process because it does not bring happiness to parents either.

Based on these two directions, we can conclude that the child should see manifestations of the non-ideality of his parents. That is, their negative experiences in life, their fears, their mistakes in life that they made as children or adults. Just do not overload the children with this, but act in accordance with the situation. So it is easier to live and accept your non-ideality, to have the right to make mistakes and not feel shame, guilt or anger at the same time. This contributes to the creation of a real, adequate self-esteem in the child, he will not be afraid to make mistakes in life, trying again what he does not succeed. Here I would like to add important word"sorry" in a relationship with a child that parents should teach. On the one hand, it shows the imperfection of parents, that they have the right to make mistakes, even as adults, experienced people. On the other hand, the child learns to apologize not only for his misdeeds, to respect the boundaries of another person, to be educated, but also thanks to this to accept his imperfection, while not feeling flawed. A few years ago, in my personal therapy, I received an invaluable experience when, as part of a consultation, I learned to apologize to my parents - sincerely, with love and acceptance of myself and them. And I knew that I could bring this experience into the lives of my children, because if we do not learn to apologize to our parents, our children will never apologize to us and will not be able to do it. I think it will not be difficult for anyone to answer the question why this is necessary.

Many parents, in order to conform to the ideal position, often resort to lying in relationships with their own children. They believe that petty lies and major quarrels in the absence of a child will save him from the hardships of life, make his life easier, bring him joy and happiness. But no matter how paradoxical it may sound, such "good, good" deeds do not bring children anything good. Children perfectly distinguish lies, even petty ones. And when parents put on a mask of happiness, joy, when in fact everything is the other way around in the family, and for behind closed doors tension, irritation and constant stress reign, children feel it. So authority and trust are replaced by other feelings. Children begin to feel abandoned, deceived. What seems small and insignificant to parents can be very important for a child. This is how authority is lost, and in order to restore it, parents may need more than a year of relationship. Sometimes authority can be lost forever, because the authority of peers, idols, colleagues, friends eventually replaces parental authority.

Some parents, dissatisfied with their own upbringing, get so hung up on the bad sides of parenting that they forget about the good things they have done and invested in their child. The paradox is that the feeling of guilt for one's imperfection makes it very difficult to build the right relationship with the child. Every time a mother promises herself not to punish her child cruelly, a father promises to devote more time to his son or daughter, other mothers and fathers try for years to correct mistakes made in upbringing, instead of raising their child "here and now". Guilt reinforces the wrong, unreasonable behavior of parents, does not bring anything good. It is very difficult to break the vicious circle - "holding in emotions - relapse - guilt" and stop making promises to yourself that " I will never do this again". Such promises are a way to punish yourself. For what? For not keeping promises, for wanting to raise a child differently than parents, for repeating the script parental family. And for such a parent, not keeping his word, not proving something to the world, to his friends, to himself, to his parents means to fail.

Where does this ideality come from in consciousness? Above, I have already mentioned public opinion and the environment that influences parents, but for many, the idealization of themselves as a parent and the idealization of a child appears ... even before the birth of the latter. For many future parents, an image of the ideal child arises in the mind, which they are waiting for, which will be born. This is something new for them, exciting, indefinite. And, as you know, everything unknown likes to be "drawn up" in the mind: how this child will look, what he will do or not do, how he will behave, what kind of character he will be, what expectations he will meet. And here a baby is born, who first cries at night, then begins to explore the world, then he can answer with a rude word ... And any discrepancy with the image of an ideal child causes anger in parents. Because in this case, they are also not ideal parents. Child psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott introduced the concept of a "good enough mother", explaining that a child does not need an ideal mother and an ideal father. He has enough "good" parents. And remember, don't raise your children, they will still look like you. Educate yourself.

Education is constantly going through some kind of reforms, restructuring, undergoing innovations. But, for some reason, so far not a single school, not a single university has answered the question of parents: “What to do, how to raise a child so that he is successful in life? How to be the perfect parent? Not an evil mentor, but a friend? And most importantly - what to do so that the baby grows up to be a happy adult?

The psychology of an ideal parent should be, first of all, aimed not at making the child successful in this life, and not at making him happy. Why? Because the concept, as a rule, is very different for parents and for grown-up children. Someone sees their happiness in the family, and parents aim at a career. Therefore, you should not make and sculpt a successful person from a child. Your task as a parent is to do everything possible so that the child, even in his failure (according to your criteria), feels happy.

The ideal parent should make their child happy, not successful.

You, as a parent, have probably already read more than one article about modern society. Each of the authors-psychologists and educators offers his own method of education and ideal parenthood.

Definition of Parenthood

For some, the ideal parent is someone who does not deviate from the standard pattern. That is, he gives the child to Kindergarten, takes him to the doctor if he is sick, then teaches lessons together at school, helps with exams at the university. It is these points that are the main criteria for an ideal parent. Moreover, in such a model of parenthood, time is not given to the development of the house, to communication, to making friends with the child.

But, and The ideal parent is not the one who feeds, clothes, shoes, and sends to the doctor. This is the one that will dig deeper - into the psychology of the child and into his needs.

To be an exemplary parent, you can not force a child to do something by force, resorting to threats. It is enough to simply explain why this should be done. You will be surprised, but your miracle can do a lot - from eating food on your own at one year old, ending with homework without a mother at 7 years old.

Rules

Do you really want to be the perfect parent? After all, the easiest way is to fulfill the standard generally accepted obligations to your child - to feed him, dress according to the weather, if you get sick - see a doctor, buy a toy and that's it. It is more difficult to talk with children, explain your point of view to them and try to understand what the baby really wants. The ideal parent should:

• Respect children;
• Give the little person complete freedom of action;
• Do not perceive the child as incapable, limited, small, etc.;
• Treat children as equals;
• Ask the baby more often what exactly he wants, and not dictate his own rules;
• Do not punish, do not raise your voice, do not use physical violence.

Skills and abilities

What should an ideal parent be able to do? What skills do you have?

• Be a real optimist and believe in your baby. You should encourage any undertakings of children, arouse enthusiasm in crumbs, help to reveal such a quality as “purposefulness”. Children who are believed in and loved (and do not forget to tell them about it) are statistically much happier and more successful in life.
• Help the child solve the problems and problems that he faces every day. If your children are angry about something, then show and explain to him how to deal with feelings of anger, what to do in conflict situations. If the baby is afraid of something, then help him overcome these. The secret is that you learn to talk to the child, to listen to his thoughts.
• Sympathize, empathize, embrace. Recent studies in neuropsychology have shown and proved that the lack of empathy, empathy and even some pity for their own children affects their learning process, and also determines their position in society and regulates relationships with others.

The task of the parent is to determine what their child wants. He doesn’t want to eat - he doesn’t need to, he doesn’t want to learn lessons - why, he wants to walk - it’s good, he doesn’t want to go to school - for what reasons, who offended him, how relationships with children and teachers develop.

Respect the child

The "old" upbringing tells us that a child must be punished if he does bad things. If he naughty, broke something, got nasty, then the place for such children is in the corner. It turns out that the parent does not know exactly how to explain to the baby that one way or another it is impossible to act and chooses the most easy way- punish. Bad behavior parent is transferred to the child - everything is very simple.

The ideal parent in terms of psychology, pediatrics, and parent-child relationships would not use a whip. He will talk, explain what was right in this situation and what was not very good, and together with the child he will find ways to solve the problem, if there is one.

Children do not need to be punished, they are not animals, they need to be respected and loved!

Help

Help the baby not only in small matters and assignments, but also in life in general. System modern education is aimed at the fact that a small person should be like everyone else - study well, not get sick, run / jump, not be naughty, not be rude. But what if the child does not succeed in studying well? If he wants to spend more time active games, and for example, to become an athlete? The ideal parent will help their child develop their abilities, and not follow generally accepted standards like "study well and do not stand out from the team."

Already in childhood, you can understand which aspects of the personality need to be developed in a small person, and which ones should be left alone. Remember! Both a small and an adult person should do in his life what brings him happiness.

An ideal parent is not just a beautiful phrase, it is a lot of work not only on children, but above all, on yourself. You need to learn to perceive a small person not as your property, but as a full-fledged personality, in which already at 1.2 years old and older, your own character is manifested.

Many people in the process of growing up, and especially when they have their own children, begin to understand that not everything was smooth in their childhood. They realize in what situations it was difficult for them and begin to understand what their own parents did wrong. They discover their wounds, heal their psychological traumas.

I think it's wonderful. There is a healing process. Finally, a person understands what should be (that is, should have been) an ideal parent for him. Often this is a collective image taken from books, films and communication with various good people. Most often, this is someone kind, strong, accepting, but at the same time wise and clear. The one who is near at the right moment and can always devote time to the child. Beautiful, self-sufficient and advanced parent.

But at some point, all these adults who have realized their childish needs do the same thing. They take this perfect image parent and go with him to real parents, trying to "pull" this image on them. They tell what was wrong, cry, get angry, blame, shame, express grievances and much more. They call and hang up. They begin to communicate less, try to prove something.

It rarely happens that parents honestly admit that they were wrong, ask for forgiveness and are ready to somehow correct the situation together. And big respect to such parents. I know few such examples. Such claims often turn out to be almost unbearable for parents, and therefore cause fierce defense in the form of reciprocal attacks, indifference or depreciation. And real parents can be understood. too much sore spot it is parenthood to openly listen to attacks and accusations. Or even resentment and tears. Too much responsibility and very personal.

The case can reach a serious conflict, in which one side fiercely accuses, and the other also fiercely defends itself. Often both parties can come out of this process even more traumatized than they came in. Parents go deeper into their defenses, and adult children are once again convinced that everything is useless and there is no hope for happy childhood even if you know how it should be for you.

But there is another way...

The ideal image of a parent is not formed in order to teach a real parent to be better. Not at all! The real parent did everything he could, based on many circumstances: his experience, external conditions, his knowledge and feelings. He already I've done everything and don't have to change anything.

The ideal image of a parent is formed in order to become a parent to oneself. Thus the ideal parent. As supportive as needed. At the same time strict, accepting, kind, smart, courageous, caring and whatever. Just the way your inner child needs it.

And then everything falls into place. We stop pestering our physical parents and getting hurt about them, because inside we have our personal collective image, which is ideally suited to us in all respects. And we begin to see our parents as just people who did everything in their power. We ourselves learn to love ourselves, take care, soothe, pamper and delight. We stop being the children of monster parents or nobody's abandoned children and become our own beloved and long-awaited cubs. We psychologically carry ourselves, give birth and grow. And only this can bring happiness and inspire people around to change. Maybe even our real parents. Who knows...

* 1) Must love his son (daughter);
2) Be attentive to him, his problems;
3) Help in all matters;
4) Do what his child asks, of course, according to his abilities;
5) Take care of your child (dress, feed, etc.);
6) Work at a good job to provide him with everything he needs;
7) Give a good education;
8) It is good to educate (i.e. do not dissolve yourself, do not come home drunk, etc.);
9) Do not spoil the child.

*Non-drinker, non-smoker; with higher education; always ready to help in difficult times. Caring, not annoying, well provided everything necessary for his child. Kind, thoughtful, funny. The parent should arrange different activities, not very often, but should show interest in knowledge; if the father is strong, courageous, if the mother is hardworking, not annoying.

*I think that there can never be an ideal parent, because only the child of his parent knows this. Maybe my friend's parent is perfect for me, and my parent is perfect for him. I think that my parents are not ideal, because I sometimes do not find common ground with them. Maybe that's how it should be, because that's what they're parents for. For example, if I want to go to a disco, and my parents won't let me in for no reason, then I don't think of them as ideals at all. Also, a parent should give his child time when he is healthy, and not when he is sick.

* An ideal parent should understand his child, be moderately strict, be interested in the needs of the child, kind, caring, not force him to do anything.

* An ideal parent should first of all love and understand their children, be responsive, pay enough attention. He should also love his wife (husband) and treat her (him) with understanding. He must know different aspects of life, have life experience. An ideal parent should not have bad habits (do not smoke, do not drink), should not scream and scold their children. Must be educated and be able to talk on various topics, must be able to enter into the situation of the child, help him with advice or action. I think my parents are perfect.

* Of course, I don’t complain about my own, but my parents are still far from ideal. Firstly, I believe that ideal parents should be people who in no case should behave in such a way that the slightest disagreement between a child and his ancestors does not develop into scandals (it happens in my family). Secondly, I believe that parents are simply obliged to consult with their children when issues regarding the children themselves are resolved (this also happens). Well, everything else is standard.

* Parents should understand their children, be patient, kind. An ideal parent is a parent to whom you can talk about your problems. Must comply with all requests. Should love to receive friends and guests, should not choose friends for his child. Must accept all of your child's friends. Ideal parents should dress, feed and educate their child well. They should give the child a good education, give the opportunity to do what the child himself wants. They do not have to decide anything for the child. To some extent, they should be given freedom of action or given independence.

*My parents are almost perfect. I can always turn to them with any question, we often discuss current events with them, we have almost complete mutual understanding. They don’t force me to do anything, I always have a choice, the only thing I don’t like is that they allow themselves to open letters that come to me, read my notes without asking, try to control my leisure. But still, they don’t forbid me anything, they don’t choose my friends, university, future profession. If they do not like what I do, they do not impose a ban, but simply express their opinion.

* Loving, understanding, caring - this is what an ideal parent should be. I have an example in my life: this is my aunt. She always speaks and argues with me on an equal footing. She understands me perfectly, and we can talk with her on any topic. She loves her children, her husband, all her relatives. She has an open soul, and now there is almost none of that. All people have become closed, they love only themselves, but there are no others.

*Not prying into a child's private life Able to understand difficult situations. Forgiving some miscalculations and mistakes. Values ​​the child's personal opinion. Allows some freedom, but not permissiveness.

*In my opinion, the ideal parent should have the following qualities:
-understanding;
- trust in your children;
- patience;
-he should be not only a parent, but also a friend to his child;
- the ability to find a common language with the child;
- the ability to put the child on his feet;
- of course, first of all, he must love his child;
- Don't leave it to chance.

* Kind, good-natured, simple. Not stupid. Without particularly visible habits. Polite. Happy. Understanding your child well. Not very strict. Nervously balanced.

*The ideal parent, from my point of view, should be understanding and loving their children. Most importantly, in my opinion, he must understand the situations in which their child finds himself, give advice, if necessary. You can not limit the actions of the child completely, but you can not give complete freedom of action. If the child wants to do something with which the parent does not agree, he should not order him not to do it, but try to convince him.

*“Ideal” parents are parents who bring up their children well, take care of household problems in addition to work, teach the child to be independent, and also help him figure out his problems. "Ideal" parents should not spoil their child and should not "leave" him alone. If there are animals in the family, parents should pay more attention to the child than to a cat or a dog ... Their task is to prepare the child for the future life.

*"Ideal" parents are human who understand your problems and difficulties, who are able to help at the right time without imposing their help, setting a good example for their children, having material wealth, accepting my tastes, interests, supporting mainly those that would be useful in my future life (professions ), people who can help determine its choice.

* The goal of parents is to raise a full-fledged offspring. For me, “ideal” parents are people who can instill in me some necessary moral standards, rules of conduct, but at the same time, these are parents-friends with whom I could feel absolutely comfortable. Parents should take care of their child, help in difficult times. There are, of course, such conditions: a good sense of humor, good financial support, good looks. But it seems to me that this is not the most important thing.

*This is a difficult question. Every child who has a prosperous family is sure that he has the best, ideal parents. Naturally, the word "perfect" is combined with kindness, generosity, attention, care, etc. for everyone. I never thought about whether my parents were perfect or not. I grew up knowing no need. Parents love me. For me, the word "perfect" means that my parents love and care for me.

*Perhaps these are parents who understand their child well. They give him freedom of action, choice, but at the same time they make sure that he does not fall into any bad story. They should never use corporal punishment, instead they should talk to the child, understand his feelings.

* They say: "Parents are not chosen." This is true, but every child wants to have kind, sympathetic and understanding parents. Not all families have an atmosphere of kindness and affection. Parents should not quarrel and sort things out in front of their children, because any rude word spoken to another can hurt the child. Parents should pay as much attention to their child as possible, help him solve all his problems. Without parental affection and care, children grow up as "moral freaks." Parents should not quarrel with their children, they should find compromises in all situations.

*If there were "ideal parents", then, firstly, it seems to me, they would have to be close to their children. They should understand their problems and interests, try to help or find a way out of difficult situations, spend more time with them. They should also love and respect both their children and each other. They must create a home for the children. Now it is also important that parents make good money to provide for their families.

* The "ideal" parent is the person who does not compromise the principles of his child's life. A person who can achieve complete understanding between himself and his son (daughter). This is one of the main characteristics of the "ideal" parent.

*The "ideal" parent is a person who fully understands his child. He (she) is aware of all the events and facts taking place in the life of his child. In principle, I see the complete ideal of a parent in my mother, although she is so soft and kind person which sometimes leads to undesirable consequences. I have a more “strong” character, and often she just doesn’t want to mess with me. A mother should tell her daughter all the smallest details of women's and men's lives, and father to son. Children should learn, for example, about sex from their parents, not from friends. A parent should allow a child a lot, but within the limits of what is permitted. You can't force a young creature to be an exact copy of itself, which some moms and dads want to do; you can’t watch him, you just need to simply trust your child.