Why do men marry ugly and stupid people. Why do handsome men choose ugly women? Why do men love gray mice?

Among my acquaintances there are many such cases, I think many have them. For men, beauty is not the main thing. Yes, this is an important criterion, and they pay attention to it, but not in the first place, often it is in second or even fifth place for them. For women, beauty is more important.

Men are arranged a little differently than the weaker sex, so they choose their life partner according to other criteria. After all, choosing a partner for short-term and long-term relationships is not the same thing. Therefore, a woman who is strongly attracted to men sexually usually has some qualities that men find not entirely acceptable to their wife.

Such women, in their opinion, are distinguished by free-thinking, great preoccupation with sex, a lower level of intelligence, a tendency to vagrancy, and an underdeveloped maternal instinct. Therefore, they are ideal for short-term relationships, but not for long-term ones. And therefore, men, wiser and growing up, choose their future spouse with their heads, and the following qualities become important for them: what kind of mother, friend, what mistress is she, is she able not to nag and be a safe haven, always come to the rescue in difficult times.

I used to be amazed when my acquaintances, who were surrounded by beautiful women, chose much less beautiful and even nondescript as their wives. It all comes over the years, when you are no longer 20, but over 30. First of all, such a choice of a woman is some kind of tribal instincts that tell them that it is time to build serious relationship with a dedicated, loyal and reliable person.

But another reason is also possible - pathological jealousy. A jealous man first of all has an inferiority complex, and jealousy has nothing to do with love, he is jealous, even if he does not love at all. Therefore, in order to calm themselves and insure, they choose a woman who will not be in great demand, although often this does not help them much. Some men even want their spouse to put on some kind of virtual veil after the wedding, become more nondescript and be out of the selection. Having made his wife more nondescript, putting her in the kitchen, men can thereby protect themselves and finally breathe easy.

Naturally, beautiful people- more spoiled, they are used to getting everything they want and get very upset if they don't get something. They need constant confirmation of their beauty and coolness. Often they are extremely unhappy, because they have inadequately high demands and they have an extremely difficult character.

Svetlana Filatova, psychologist

Males choose a female with whom they will not compete. This is biologically justified, they simply do not want to spend their energy and strength on controlling their future spouse. Subconsciously, a man wants the offspring to be his, and he himself would concentrate on a career and making money. A woman should be his support and always behind him.

For adrenaline junkies, things happen a little differently: they choose an equal and continue to fight with it throughout their lives. Men often do not want competition and therefore always try to choose a simpler woman. I would not say that this is due to the complexes. We all have our cockroaches, some have more, others have less. It's just that someone is ready to admit it, someone is not.

How are happiness and beauty related?

They say correctly: do not be born beautiful, but be born happy. External beauty is just a showcase, behind which there can be something insanely beautiful, or not. Inner beauty can sometimes be manifested stronger than outer beauty, and this is precisely what is most important.

Beauty is a relative concept, of course, there are ideal 90-60-90, but still, everyone has their own psychosexual image. Therefore, I see two reasons why men choose ugly women.

The first and most obvious is self-doubt or the benefit of such a relationship: a formal marriage, where the wife is comfortable and serves as a screen to cover up her real life, or even homosexuality, or such a woman guarantees that she will always be by her side, she is less demanding etc.

Another reason is that sex is chemistry, it is born in the brain, not in the genitals, and an absolutely beautiful woman can be cold and repulsive, as if castrating sexual desires, and an ugly woman, but with charisma and inner warmth, can cause an acute wish. That is why beauty is not a guarantee of success in personal life.

If desired, each person finds a mate. Choose someone for beauty, someone for intelligence. Men fall in love with beauties, but marry girls with a rustic appearance, considering them reliable, kind and faithful. Such families live happily, unlike families where the wife is a spoiled beauty.

The beauty and the "ugly girl" have a different attitude to life, they have a different psychology and different behavior in society. One cannot understand the other.

Not a beauty

clings to the man who noticed her and chose her;
justifies and tolerates male behavior;
lives a quiet family life;
agrees with his own unattractive appearance;
often believes in magic.

If such a girl has not yet been disappointed in life, then often:

considers men shy and insecure, and that it is worth taking the initiative on their own;
I am sure that if a man paid attention, then this is sincere sympathy;
does not believe that she is ugly;
I am sure that in life she has the same chances with a beauty.

In general, it is better for such a woman not to rely on love spells, but to work on herself and on herself. By the way, ugly girls sometimes marry very successfully. Why? Just because they know how to develop in themselves the qualities necessary for a man and correctly “apply” them.

They say: "They meet by clothes, but see off by the mind." Beauty is nothing if the girl is stupid, bitchy, rude and does not respect the opinions of others. More often, beauties do not know how to cook and do household chores.

Men in a woman like kindness, intelligence, the ability to cook, the ability to empathize and listen carefully. Both the beauty and the “gray mouse” are able to possess these qualities. It is only necessary that these qualities be noticed.

To get noticed, you need self-confidence. And the main thing here is not beauty. Men pay attention to attractive and interesting women. No wonder there is another saying: "There are no ugly women, there are lazy ones." This is the famous phrase of Coco Chanel,

To do this, it is worth working on the image, creating an individual image. For this purpose, elegant, graceful clothes and proper makeup are used.

A well-chosen wardrobe will hide figure defects and highlight attractive sides so that you get a model, and not a stooped and fat young lady. Do not be afraid to stand out and be different from others.

The habit of looking after

What she, appearance, can be seen only in her youth. With age, what remains is what the girl learned from her youth, what she did for her appearance.

If a woman is accustomed to watching her figure, regularly performs fitness exercises, eats right and takes care of her skin, then preserved youth is an adornment.

And with a full figure, ladies look charming if they don’t buy clothes, but sew them to order from an experienced craftswoman. The fact is that standard clothing does not take into account the features of the figure.

A skilled craftsman will take into account where to reduce, where to add, and where to drape or fold. The main thing is that the outfit looks elegant, elegant and different from standard dresses.

Everyone understands and sees beauty in their own way. So you can't say, "This person is beautiful and this one is ugly." Some like wide eyes, others like small ones. One admires the upturned nose, and the other admires the aquiline nose.

Properly applied makeup will turn your face into what you would like to see. Cosmetics will mask unwanted features and highlight beneficial aspects. In case of inability, it is worth asking for help from makeup artists-stylists.

Girls who are not endowed with beauty are constantly fighting for a "place in the sun." As a result, they get:

Self-discipline, trying to constantly look neat, well-groomed and attractive.
Confidence that they have not lost their beauty with age, because it was not there.
The courage to experiment with your own appearance.
The ability to be different from others.
Strength and fortitude of spirit - they have to learn from school to repulse offenders and not to become discouraged.

Although it happens the other way around - they become angry and do not trust anyone. As a result, it becomes clear why men choose ugly women - if the girl did not sink into the abyss of despondency, but made herself, then she will be able to attract anyone.

Some "ugly girls" are offended by life and do not expect anything good from it. They are always dissatisfied, angry and gloomy, and such men are bypassed. Attractive, regardless of external beauty, satisfied with life and feeling their own dignity.

Cheerful, cheerful, with a mischievous gleam in their eyes and loving themselves for who they are. Men consider such women inaccessible and seek attention.

No man likes it when a woman swears badly, speaks unflatteringly about others, or gets into a squabble with her own kind. A real one who knows how to be gentle and sweet, soft, kind and does not start quarrels.

Each attractive woman is distinguished by individuality, something that others do not have. Not everyone likes it, but a few do.

It is not true that men choose stupid girls. On the contrary, they like smart and versed in business, understanding humor and attentive interlocutors.

Men have their own male interests and habits, which girls often do not understand and do not perceive. You should not try to change the guy, you will have to get along with it and, rather, hide your own discontent.

People are more often drawn to those that radiate happiness and love, this is reflected in the appearance and decorates.

Any woman looks unattractive if she:

boasts of intelligence and beauty, humiliating others;
shows frank disappointment and despondency;
angry;
deceives and pretends - it is reflected in the eyes.

Conclusion

And among unhappy ladies there are both. Just like “you can’t order your heart”, they love both of them. Only happiness is achieved by each in its own way.

So, let's sum up. Why do guys choose ugly girls, but successful ones, handsome men marry ugly women? Because to become attractive to the opposite sex, it is not necessary to be a beauty. You have to be a real woman.

Men fall for external beauty without internal content in several cases:

For show
Foolishly
Out of boredom.

For life, smart, accomplished men choose according to their inner beauty.

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Why do men marry ugly people?

Well, let's take a more neutral option for the name, and see what's wrong here.

Why do men marry ugly and stupid people? Why do men marry ugly people? I did not want to write this, but it is in such formulations that many girls are looking for the answer to such a burning question.

So, let's look at the direct and indirect reasons why men / guys / young people often marry seemingly ugly, if not completely scary girls / women.

Reason number 1. Communication with very beautiful girls causes stress in a man.

As we perfectly understand, not all men are hand-written handsome men and Apollo Belvedere.

Most of them are quite ordinary human beings, whose beauty is hidden somewhere in the depths of their soul and does not manifest itself in any way from the outside.

Therefore, a man who objectively sees that he is an “ordinary average peasant”, and nature, in addition, has not endowed him with a certain reserve of impudence, may well feel uncomfortable when communicating with a beautiful girl.

Moreover, this pattern also applies to rather "cool peppers" - they also often fall into stress and feel very uncomfortable.

And all why? The possibility of being rejected.

Yes, men, on average, are still cowards and are afraid that a mega-beautiful girl will simply blow them off. Yes, and not just, but with a special cynicism to show him who he is and where his place is.

This kind of refusal for a man is the strongest blow below the belt. It does not matter that he, for example, is a very successful comrade in the social or material hierarchy.

The sphere of relationships is another world that needs to be “conquered”, and if a man does not succeed, he feels defeated and worthless.

Reason number 2. Beauty takes a lot of time

Beautiful women are not always naturally beautiful.

Many girls would look much “greier” and more boring if it weren’t for a bunch of financial and / or time expenses for various kinds of manicures, pedicures, peelings, masks, painting, massages, fitness, etc. Events.

Do you agree? Agree.

And now the question is: And where will all the time that is spent on putting oneself in order and bringing it to perfection come from?

It is obvious that it needs to be “torn off” from something. And, most likely, a woman will tear this time away from a man - well, she won’t be able to do a hair mask or manicure right on a date.

From here, the man draws a very simple conclusion: since she is already disappearing to all sorts of salons and beauty centers, or (economy option) spends hours at home, what will change if she becomes his wife?

Never mind. So it will be zealous in the same direction.

And what's wrong with him? Yes, nothing good - either the “always busy” wife at home, or the forever absent, who can hardly devote time to his beloved and run the household.

I'm not talking about raising children, which, in a good way, is a separate "full-time job" ...

Practice shows that "salon beauties" are much less likely to be at home and restore home order and comfort, which so attracts men striving for family life.

Do not confuse beautiful with well-groomed

Many are trying to find a contradiction - they say, how not to be beautiful, because men first of all look at appearance.

Of course they are. Appearance is important. And that is why it is necessary once and for all to draw a clear division in your head: a woman may not be a beauty, but well-groomed. It does not interfere.

It is clear that greasy hair, acne all over the face and untidy clothes do not contribute to attracting men, so you need to take care of yourself.

Well-groomed works wonders even with the so-called "gray mice", while neither the natural nor acquired beauty of a girl can guarantee that a man will give preference to her.

Reason No. 3. Indirect connection "beautifully looks - higher demands"

Not always, but it can also be intimidating. And normal men too. Not only those who are looking for easy ways or make ends meet.

Even if a man is quite wealthy financially, he may consciously not want to deal with a very picky person.

Yes, this is not a problem for him - he can provide a dozen like her.

In his heart, he is looking for a modest, unpretentious girl. This is often the case.

And among poor men, oddly enough, there are also good people who will be great husbands and fathers...

Reason No. 4. Subconscious desire to love imperfection

I thought for a long time how to name this reason, and this formulation seems to me the most accurate and capacious.

A man, without realizing it, feels that it is favorable for his soul to learn to love not so much everything beautiful and ideal, but that which has some flaws.

He feels that love for the beautiful and impeccably beautiful seems to deprive his soul of an incentive to develop - it's like eating sweet, sweet cake all the time for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Something tells him that, having learned to love the "ugly" or "ugly girl", he will reveal in his life a completely different layer of awareness and understanding of everything that happens.

Something tells him that he will come to an understanding of something really fundamental and important in this life.

This does not mean that a man cannot get the same transformations with a beautiful woman - not at all. He can. It will just be much more difficult.

Reason #5. Beautiful girls are more likely to have a bad temper

It is authentically known that excessively beautiful women in general have a more bad character (at least for the time being) than women with an "average appearance".

Why is this happening? The fact is that beauties tend to use their beauty as a "bribery tool."

Beautiful girls, therefore, more often have to overcome the subconscious conviction in themselves from the “everyone owes me” series and work to improve their character.

"Ugly girls" cannot rely on their appearance, and she herself life initially teaches them to focus not on beauty and external attractiveness but on good human qualities, which are highly valued by men.

Considering all this, we come to the conclusion that a woman can certainly be a beauty with a wonderful character, but the statistics, alas, do not speak in her favor. As a consequence, many men will choose not to take risks.

All men like beautiful women, but not everyone will build a serious relationship with them.

Someone is afraid of being rejected.

Someone is only interested in the female body and sex. Women want to take advantage of the beauty and put a tick in their “diary of a hunter”.

Someone is afraid that he will fall into bondage and will not be able to meet the high demands of such a woman (and they are usually still the same).

Someone is afraid to be an “accessory” with such a woman.

And these are far from all the reasons why very beautiful girls find themselves in an ambivalent position.

On the one side, their beauty is an "unfair advantage" over other women.

With another- this is the risk of having a less prosperous fate in the field of relationships and family.

Outcome

Men do not marry scary, ugly or ugly.

They marry kind, sweet, feminine, modest, sincere, understanding, sympathetic, attentive, faithful girls.

Smart and mature men and guys (there are also those) marry those with whom they want to live their whole lives.

They choose a woman based on well-known sayings: "Do not drink water from the face" and "Do not look for beauty, but look for kindness."

It is wonderful when beauty and favorable character traits are combined in a woman, however when choosing a wife, priority will always be given to spiritual qualities.

I repeat once again that a mature and reasonable man does this, and ignoring these principles by him jeopardizes the future marital union.

Dmitry Olegovich Naumenko,
Love Without Compromises.

How often can you see similar situation: a couple is walking down the street, and people are looking around, and are perplexed that such a pretty, seemingly successful guy found in this gray mouse, or could find someone more interesting for himself. Many looking at this question arises, why do men marry ugly women? The answer may be different stories. To many, they seem to be quite understandable, while others are only perplexed when they observe something similar in real life. Situations, of course, are completely different, but you should always understand for yourself why men marry ugly women, and beautiful women do not attract or interest them, although they themselves look more than interesting.

People say: "Don't be born beautiful, but be born happy." Quite often, men in their youth attach great importance to appearance and give preference to bright, spectacular, attractive and really beautiful girls. When it comes time to start a family, as a rule, closer to thirty years, they opt for ordinary, unremarkable women.

Why do men choose for a family and marry ugly

Most psychologists call the main reason for this phenomenon hidden complexes that do not allow the stronger sex to connect their lives with beautiful woman. As a rule, marriage for a man is a feeling of calm and comfort. When a very beautiful wife is next to him, there is always a threat that someone will try to “take her away”. Constantly need to be on the alert, that is, nervous. It is much easier to hide your other half behind a pile of family affairs, immerse yourself in caring for children and yourself, and bask in the family hearth. In addition, beautiful well-groomed woman must be appropriately maintained, well dressed and provided with everything necessary. This is another serious cause for concern: will I manage? That is why many men marry ugly women.
The second reason why men prefer women who are not very attractive, psychologists call doubt. beautiful, bright, successful woman cannot be an economic, caring wife and a good mother. Many people nowadays have such a negative attitude, that is, a large number of men think so, and prefer in their lives that it is better not to take risks. All of a sudden you can't handle it. Probably, this opinion is also based on the prototype of the mother, the guardian of the family hearth. Previously, families were very large, there were many children, and women did not have a minute of free time. There was no beauty at all. This is another reason why men choose and marry ugly women.
Other men, with the standard choice of their life partner, rely not on her external attractiveness, but on her rich inner world. We all know that pretty beautiful picture it’s nice to show in the light, but living with her constantly in the same apartment is rather boring and not even interesting. After all, often girls who are obsessed with their appearance worry very little about intellectual development and don't care about the man himself. For men, this is important. This is the third reason why men marry ugly women.
Also, quite often there are married couples in which the spouse generally takes on the role of the head of the family: independently makes decisions, acts, and solves various family problems. This, in the end, is the main criterion for choosing a life partner. A man usually takes a more passive position, we can say that he accepts everything as it is. It's so much easier for him. This is his completely conscious choice. The role of "henpecked" suits him quite well.
There is another widespread opinion, which once again crosses out everything that has been said above. It has its place. Love is a chemical reaction that occurs between people and underlies the unconscious choice of a sexual partner. The main goal laid down by nature is the continuation of the human race. In this case, neither personal values and attitudes, nor fears, nor principles play absolutely no role. In general, we can say that in fact, nothing depends on us. Which of the expressed opinions should be considered a priority, which one to choose, and which one to rely on, is a personal matter for everyone.
However, we can only say the main thing, if you saw something close to yourself and now you understand why men marry ugly women, then this can be an excellent motive for your work with a psychologist. Such work will help you fully understand the true reasons for building certain relationships by you. You will be able to recognize your negative script and undo it. After such work, nothing can prevent you from making the very choice that will be the best and most attractive of all possible options for you.