True love involves mutual feelings, but sometimes emotions go unanswered. Many people have experienced unrequited attraction in their lives. Most easily passed through suffering and let go of the object of worship. But often unrequited love becomes an unbearable burden, a strong feeling does not let go. Psychologists give advice to break the one-way relationship. How to survive unrequited love?

Causes

To know how to deal with unrequited love, it is worth finding out the reasons for this feeling.

1. Internal state. Fatigue, depression affect the overall energy, and disappointment in love becomes an addition to the general emotional background.
2. Low self-esteem. Self-doubt is reinforced by attitudes: “I’m too ugly for him”, “I don’t match him”, “No one will ever love me.” The lower a person evaluates himself, the more difficult it is for him to achieve reciprocal feelings. There is a strong belief that "I will always be worse than others."
3. Benefits of unrequited love. Sometimes such feelings have advantages, but the person is not aware of them. This is a way to hide from life, subconsciously a person does not want to be in a relationship, and a one-sided feeling allows you to get away from them.
4. Illusion of love experiences. Unrequited love creates a vivid picture of emotional life. It contains suffering, hopes, internal events associated with the object of love. I don't want to get out of this illusion into a problematic reality.
5. Usually people who did not see a model of happy relationships in childhood do not cope with falling in love. Parents did not show them an example of trusting relationships. It is difficult for such a person to imagine mutual love, it seems to him that intimacy does not exist. The consequences of this are the choice of an unrequited feeling or a complete closure from love.

These reasons may not be recognized, but accepting them can answer the question, “How do you deal with unrequited love?”

Unrequited love is like an addiction

If a person cannot for a long time, then psychologists sometimes use the term "love addiction" or addiction. Love addictions are often compared to alcohol or gambling addiction, only instead of alcohol or games - a living person. When he is not around, the dependent person experiences real torment. He can get sick, get fat, lose weight, looks exhausted. Depending on love, a person directs all his thoughts and actions to the object of passion. He can write letters to him, guard him at home, follow him on social networks.

Signs of love addiction:

• a love feeling arises for a person who experiences indifference;
• a woman or a man experiences unhappy love for a very long time, sometimes for years;
• along with love for the object of worship, a range of feelings is experienced, from jealousy to resentment.

With a severe form of addiction, a career suffers, hobbies and friends leave. Psychologists note that often people come to the reception with the request: “How to cope with love addiction?”. In most cases, their condition is already very serious. Unhappy love is often sung in literature, the most striking example is Petrarch and his Laura.

On a note! Psychologists recommend using love addictions writing down suffering, thoughts, keeping a diary is one of the methods of psychotherapeutic practice.

First experience

In youth, many are faced with unrequited love. The first experience, an attempt to build relationships and feelings, is usually accompanied by self-doubt, increased emotionality, idealization of the object of worship. Sometimes unrequited love is useful for outgrowing most of the complexes and fears in adolescents. But it happens that young people are disappointed, first love leaves a negative imprint on all subsequent relationships. Unhappy love is hard to forget, you always return to it with your thoughts.

What to do? How to survive first love? To begin with, it is worth thanking life for the lessons, love comes to us for a reason. We learn to build relationships, observe, become better and improve for a loved one.

You should also sift the wheat from the chaff. No need to stick the flaws of former lovers on a new lover or beloved. It is useful to break the habit of comparison. Yes, it's not easy to do. Negative experiences often pop up in memory, but you need to thank the universe that you found out who you really need.

survive rejection

Sometimes, in order to get reciprocity, you need to make a confession. It's scary to confess your feelings, get rejected and kill hope. How to survive rejection? But psychologists recommend not to be afraid to talk about emotions. It's better than dreaming about reciprocity for years and not making an attempt to be together.

Open recognition allows you to get out of the vicious circle, to get a mutual relationship. Even if the answer is no, then you need to enter a new stage and build a different level of relationships, taking into account all past mistakes. Don't forget to praise yourself for your courage!

Video: psychologist Natalya Tolstaya about unrequited love

How to help yourself

But how to survive not mutual love? We will analyze the advice of a psychologist. The Masters of Psychological Science recommend the following actions.

Investigation of the cause

If you cannot cope with unrequited feelings for more than 6 months, then there are reasons that incline you to love one-sidedly. Try to answer the questions honestly. What makes you continue to suffer? What is the reason behind the unrequited feeling and desire to be loved? Maybe the reason for this is the fear that you will be offended or the lack of confidence in your own attractiveness? What is the main fear in a relationship? If you managed to find out the reason, then you need to deal with it.

"Scatter the fire"

The poet Ovid advised unhappy love to be treated by throwing fires. Reception today is advised by psychologists. May you have many resources that will allow you to escape from an unrequited feeling. New job, hobby, hobby, volunteer help. It could be yoga, dancing, driving classes, a reading club, anything. If you scatter the firebrands of a love fire in this way, you can soon see that it has gone out.

This powerful tool helps to reduce stress, as the feeling of melancholy disappears with sweat - adrenaline is produced. In this way, Nadezhda Babkina and many other stars cope with stress.

Make lemonade

A good method was recommended by Carnegie. He advised making lemonade out of sour lemon. The feeling of love can be directed to the creation, and not to the destruction of oneself. There are many examples of people coping with stress and rising above their experiences.

Looking for flaws

Feelings for a man or woman are often based on idealization. A loved one is endowed with only positive qualities, only good things are seen in him. Try to go the other way. Write on a piece of paper all the shortcomings, remember all the flaws, even if they are fictional. This powerful tool is suitable for people with a developed imagination.

Video: psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, about unrequited love:

Conclusion

The feelings of a person experiencing one-sided love are similar to hopelessness. It seems that there is no way out of the situation. If you have fallen in love and do not know how to survive unrequited love, you should consider contacting a specialist. Can help in severe cases family psychologist or a psychotherapist.

Love and infatuation

24.06.2017

Snezhana Ivanova

Unrequited love brings a lot of suffering. It can be so painful to realize that the most sincere aspirations, tender care for another person remain misunderstood, and expectations are deceived.

Unrequited love brings a lot of suffering to its owner. It can be so painful to realize that the most sincere aspirations, tender care for another person remain misunderstood, and expectations are deceived. Unfortunately, unrequited love is not some rare phenomenon that should not be paid attention to, but a very common situation, although quite understandable. No one can be forced to love. A person cannot be tied to a partner either by common children (if they were previously married), or even by common interests. Feelings are such a sphere of a person's life that generally lends little to any explanation. It is impossible to understand why you were not appreciated and loved. Most likely, it's not about you, because they love not for something, but often contrary to all reasonable arguments.

There is an opinion that unrequited feelings are most often experienced by immature individuals who still have a lot to learn in life. This is not a completely correct statement. An unrequited feeling can visit anyone, and especially the one who needs it the most. The difference between maturity and inexperience is only that an older person looks at events wiser and rarely gets depressed. He wants to give more to his soul mate, albeit without an answer. Young people, on the contrary, strive to receive a portion of attention and strive for reciprocal feelings. In any case, it is worth understanding that in every situation there is a lesson that needs to be learned. This problem requires individual and close attention.

The problem of unrequited love

Everyone dreams of meeting their soul mate. To find happiness in love is the dream of anyone who strives for harmony and integrity. Most people do not imagine their life alone and do not want to be alone. Having reached a certain age, we all want to build honest, trusting relationships with the opposite sex. This is a natural desire that nothing can drown out in oneself. The problem of unrequited love is familiar to many. Both young and old people suffer from it equally. No one is immune from the fact that his affection will not be one-sided. In fact, the person you fell in love with so passionately and passionately will not necessarily begin to experience similar feelings for you. Shared love is happiness, even a miracle, which must be appreciated. What is the problem of unrequited love? Let's try to figure it out!

Inability to open your feelings

A person in love is easy to deceive, because he is looking for confirmation of the reciprocity of his feelings in everything. At the same time, you can always understand how the other half is sincere towards you. An unrequited feeling brings a lot of suffering. When it becomes clear that the attachment is one-sided, the lover in most cases begins to guess about it. Then it becomes very painful, visited by despair and hopelessness. Some people, confident that their feelings are not mutual, unconsciously begin to avoid the opportunity to open up to their soul mate. They experience a tremendous sense of embarrassment and do not want to be rejected, so they often do not even try to explain themselves. Fear creates the impossibility of opening up precisely when the most suitable conditions seem to be created for this.

Internal stiffness

The problem of unrequited love lies in the inner constraint. Such a person begins to underestimate himself. He feels like no one will ever truly love him. Even a single failure in love can cause people to despair. The advice of psychologists is aimed precisely at cultivating an inner sense of satisfaction. Inner constraint over time leads to strong self-doubt. And now the lover begins to live in illusions, constantly rushing between despair and hope. This is a terrible state, a vicious circle from which one must be able to get out. Sometimes it can be very difficult to do this on your own, so competent advice from psychologists is required. Only a specialist will be able to suggest a worthy way out of a difficult situation when the person himself does not see it.

Manifestations of unrequited love

A person who loves not mutually has the same features of behavior and experienced emotions. In many ways, these changes are due to dissatisfaction with their lives and the desire to somehow change it.

The feeling of uselessness is the first thing that a person begins to experience when faced with the experience of unrequited love. It begins to seem that everyone has left you and no one really needs you. Even one careless word, casually uttered by a completely outsider, can offend. Sometimes a feeling of hopelessness and a certain tragedy that cannot be corrected is added to it. A person literally experiences the pain of loss. In some cases, thoughts of suicide even come to mind. The person does not see a way out of the situation and needs outside help.

Fixation on the problem is another important characteristic of unrequited love. A person rejected in love cannot think of anything else for a long time. It seems that all his aspirations, desires and opportunities are focused only on the object of his strong attachment. Such a person should work on himself.

How to deal with unrequited love

A person who suffers is always interested in how to get rid of this oppressive feeling. It is sometimes not so easy to do this, especially taking into account the fact that a lover drives himself into a corner with endless worries and doubts. It is necessary to understand each situation individually, but still, there are some general recommendations. They may turn out useful topics who are suffering and looking for a way out of an unenviable situation. How to survive unrequited love? What should be remembered? Help actionable advice psychologists.

Unrequited love for a girl

Love for a girl inspires many men to exploits, makes them commit rash and unpredictable acts. It's hard to even imagine how insulting it is to get rejected by your girlfriend. If you have been visited by such a feeling as unrequited love, you need to take into account the following points.

prone to manipulation. It is sometimes found in the fair sex. It is important for them to feel that they impress men. For this reason, some girls may use feelings young man who shows signs of attention to her, in his own interests. It is worth remembering that loving person will never play with your feelings. The lover will do everything not to hurt, will try to protect from suffering as much as possible. If a girl is manipulating, then she does not love you. You should not hold your attention on it and waste time on the possibility of changing the situation for the better someday later. Most often, such expectations become a burden and do not lead to anything good.

If there is a refusal to love, you should not run after a girl in the hope that she will suddenly change her mind. Many women, guided by the best of intentions, transfer their potential boyfriends to the status of friends, but “forget” to tell them about it themselves. No one wants to lose sight of good man, a reliable friend who you can always rely on in difficult times. Therefore, it is unlikely that a girl herself will refuse the company of a young man whom she rejected, if he knows how to be good friend. How to survive rejection in love? Here you already need to choose a man: do you want to suffer for a long time? Don't let yourself be played. Find the strength to let go of exhausting relationships.

How often girls humiliate themselves in front of men, trying to attract attention! By such behavior, they only repel potential boyfriends from themselves. Unrequited love often haunts those women who are extremely insecure about their femininity and external attractiveness. The problem of unrequited love is aggravated over time and leads to the fact that the girl ceases to believe in the possibility of finding happiness. She even begins to feel that she is unworthy of such benefits. Remember that if love for a man brings you nothing but suffering, then something is wrong in your behavior or self-perception. A woman should not humiliate herself in front of a man, it is contrary to her nature. How to survive this state?

Self-respect is the first thing to remember when you are going to get rid of unrequited love. The sooner a girl begins to think about herself, the more chances she will have in the future to create a full-fledged relationship. It must be understood that female nature does not imply humiliation. You need to learn to appreciate your own personality, not allowing anyone to offend you. If there is unrequited love, you need to try to accept this fact as soon as possible. This is not so easy to do, but it is necessary. Self-esteem will protect you from additional experiences. Otherwise, you can spend your whole life in suffering.

No matter how painful it is, you should try to take time for yourself and your personal growth. There is no point in torturing yourself daily with vain experiences. You can't waste your life on a person who doesn't appreciate you, who doesn't need you. It is very sad to look at young girls who, under the influence of unrequited love, abandoned themselves. It is necessary to strive for self-development, not to allow someone else to control your life. Self-development and personal growth really help to start treating oneself with the greatest attention. The achievements that have appeared will help to abandon the obsessive desire to win the attention of a person who does not even think about you.

A person who fulfills his destiny in life can be called truly happy. Such a person does not wait for anyone's approval, does not strive to please everyone. The presence of a favorite thing makes life interesting, bright, rich. According to psychologists, the best cure for unrequited love is doing what you love. Each person is talented in some way, unique. That is why you should use your own gift to your advantage. Instead of running after a man who does not appreciate you, you should pay attention to your own personality. A girl needs to learn to love herself. It is in this case that she becomes extremely attractive to others.

A favorite thing gives a person a certain charm, makes her more confident in her own abilities. It is in this case that the future will no longer seem so foggy, sad and uncertain. Favorite business always inspires a girl, captivates with her head. Believe that you will soon simply have no time to think about the guy who rejected you or preferred another to you. One has only to accept on faith that you deserve all the best in life, as an unrequited feeling will recede and stop bothering you.

Thus, unrequited love is not a reason for a strong upset, but a reason to reconsider the values ​​​​of your life as soon as possible. It is necessary to change the attitude towards one's own personality for the better, stop dwelling on the past and start looking to the future with hope.

It probably makes no sense for an adult audience to talk about what unrequited love is. It's like a one-sided game. One team tries, gives all the best, spends all its efforts - and nothing in return! The same thing happens with a person who has fallen in love, but does not receive reciprocal feelings in return. Remember how in that song "we choose, we are chosen." So, it turns out that the object of our suffering, who did not choose us, is absolutely indifferent to us. Even worse - he is passionate about another person, for whom he is ready for anything.

We often witness a feeling without reciprocity, as it is presented on screens in huge numbers - films with strong and unrequited love occupy the first lines of hits. But, unlike cinema, in real life such stories, unfortunately, sometimes end very badly. The leading positions of suicides are occupied by those that were committed precisely because someone did not share the feelings of a suicide. Especially dangerous is the "diagnosis" of one-sided love in adolescence or young age.

Another thing is when love without reciprocity for a person is like a gift. Thanks to which he improves, finds topics for the development of his creativity, career growth, etc.

But for now, we will talk about the main situations that arise against the background of the topic we are studying.

Who is prone to unrequited love

Why do people suffer for years because their feelings are not shared. Why do some couples have a feeling immediately and, as a rule, on both sides. And others must languish and suffer? Psychologists point out that there are factors that encourage suffering from unrequited love. And, as it turns out, it is formed in people who are not self-confident, suffering from the following problems:

1. The stage of acquaintance with the surrounding society has not been completely passed. Someone has unpleasant memories in their memory, a person is fixated on the bad moments of his life.
2. There is no certain level of self-worth, self-respect. Often one-sided love is subject to those who from childhood were brought up not in an atmosphere of positive, but in a negative attitude towards the world, life.
3. Unrequited love is most often the lot of those who are afraid to open up to the “world”, to feel the fullness of mutual feelings. Because of their fears, they are more likely to experience love and suffering in their thoughts than to confess to the opposite sex.
4. Children suffering from unrequited love dysfunctional families in which there was no cult of happiness, joy, mutual understanding. Take on a role happy person it is difficult for them - the habit of suffering requires a state of loneliness, torment. Sometimes such persons voluntarily choose an object, obviously realizing that he will not respond with love to their feelings. unrequited love in adolescence- for this category of persons the norm. This is how their relationship with the opposite sex begins.
5. Often people of a conservative disposition are tormented by unrequited love. They do not want to change anything in their lives and are not ready even for the sake of love to change their principles, foundations, decisions. So a one-way feeling is like a one-way traffic. Everything is going according to plan and nothing can disturb them. There is no answer to love - and okay, everything will be as before.
6. Persons who have not figured out their feelings, sensations and desires. For this reason, they cannot decide on the choice of a partner. The situation is quite common with unrequited feelings in adulthood.

What is unrequited love for a man

We all know from childhood that the main feeling on Earth is love. And the state of being in love can be compared to wandering in the clouds. A loving, enthusiastic person feels so easy, pleasant and happy. But as soon as this feeling becomes not mutual, then all the above epithets are completely turned over.

Instead of joy and happiness, the lover feels himself in a pitch hell, his condition can be compared with a nervous breakdown, depression, shock, and all this in one “glass”. A state arises in which the will, desires and actions are completely paralyzed. A person is not able to focus on work, study, and even banal life.

All he can do is stare blankly at one point, seek meetings with the object of his dreams and yearn, suffer, cry. What to do in such cases?

Immediately consider a situation in which a person in love suffers because of another, but at the same time is afraid to approach and reveal the truth to his beloved, even if he sees him every day. Psychologists strongly recommend not to suffer until you have heard the word “no”. Yes, and then it is not necessary, but we will talk about this later. In the meantime, there is no point in crying and suffering from mental pain if you have not yet dared to confess your feelings to a man.

Who knows, maybe he is also interested in your special and will only be glad of a close relationship. It so happens that a girl makes ends meet and on her grave the one who made her take such a step cries the most. He claims that he did not know about her feelings and dreamed of being with her, but she hid everything. So draw your own conclusions. It may also happen that this person does not know you well and is embarrassed to approach you. Believe me, there are more modest and “blushing” people among the stronger sex than among women.

Men themselves are not big fans of stress and are afraid to admit their feelings, especially if you know your worth - beautiful, stately, successful.

You fell in love unrequited - how to survive

It must be said right away - in no case do not give up. There are two ways out - to survive and suppress this state in yourself or to take steps to achieve the location of the object of desire. In the first case, there is nothing special to add - the main thing is to control yourself and:

1. distracted by interesting work, hobby. You can plunge headlong into the project and make it successful. So you will feel an increase in your own self-esteem and understand that there was no point in suffering for someone who underestimated you.
2. Wedge wedge - get carried away by another person, for this you do not need to sit at home and suffer over a photograph of your loved one. Chat with friends, make new acquaintances, fall in love, get carried away. So it will not take even a couple of weeks, as there will be no trace of your unrequited feelings.

The second option - to achieve the location of the object of love involves the following actions.

Don't be unapproachable. Only in rare cases, men seek to achieve the one that is unattainable. Although in life there are such cases.

History from life.“Galina and Alexander met about one month before her brother's wedding, and Sasha was his friend. A little flirting, jokes - then nothing. But she was carried away by this man, but nothing from him. And he, apparently, noticed the ambiguity of her views in his direction and, just in case, joked, “You are like a sister to me.”

For Gali, it became clear that this person would never be carried away by her. Well, so be it. But here's an opportunity, on the day of the wedding, Sasha quickly became interested in the bridesmaid and, apparently, a close relationship developed before their eyes. What was it like to see the one who fell in love with him and was much better than her rival. What to do? And nothing, do not notice it anymore and that's it!

The second day of the wedding was very curious. Alexander and the bridesmaid spent the night together - this became immediately clear to everyone. But at the table, Galya never looked at the one who disdained her feelings. By the middle of the party, he could no longer restrain himself, approached her and asked, “Did I offend you with something?”. "Of course not!" Galina answered and did not even show that her pride was hurt.

Further worse, he tried to invite her to a dance, but she agreed to another guy. It got to the point that he approached and openly confessed his feelings to her. And this is after he spent the night with a frivolous bridesmaid, after the suffering of Gali. Of course, he fell in her eyes, and she replied, “You are like a brother to me!”. And so the matter ended.

It turns out that if a girl behaves like a touchy and does not notice a man, then a true hunter is born in him, chasing his prey. Still, don't tempt fate. It is much easier and better to give a man the opportunity to get to know you better, about your feelings. So there will be more chances for a close acquaintance and the beginning of the process of harmony, mutual understanding, common interests.

Psychologist's advice: in no case be imposed on the one you have feelings for. So you will only scare him away - what is the prospect of dealing with an eccentric woman who wants to build relationships with her throughout her life. Such behavior of a woman is rather annoying than attracting. Each of us needs our own, personal space, into which not a single alien foot “enters”, even if it is the foot of a loved one. And if your relationship is only at the initial stage, step on the “throat” of your attraction and keep your distance.

Try to follow his interests. Yes, you will have to be patient a little, give up your own desires, but since you love it, be kind. But this does not mean that you should be spinning "under his feet" and arrange supposedly random meetings. Believe me, a person in love does not hide his feelings well and your unexpected encounters in a store, in a cafe, on the street and other places will look very fake.

But if you periodically get there, you will be able to understand what are the interests of your loved one, what he is fond of, what he lives. But even in this you should know the measure and preserve your own individuality, piecework, so to speak. Do not forget about your preferences, show them. If there is a headless doll in front of him, following him with an “open mouth”, he will not only lose, but also will not have interest in your person.

Work on yourself. Do not throw your affairs, be sure to be active. Go in for sports, sign up for a yoga studio, shaping and other sections that will help improve your appearance and figure. It is also important to grow above yourself - to learn languages, to get involved in interesting sciences, modern trends.

Personal care. No man will look in the direction of a woman with tearful eyes, unkempt skin. Modern representatives of the stronger sex are very pretentious. They have seen enough of the beauties and want the object of their interest to be no worse. And even if you don’t succeed in terms of relationships, after a while he must remember your beautiful face and understand what “firebird” he missed.

But no matter what you do, nothing helps. Well, here, as they say, bribes are smooth from him. You should not put an end to your life, you need to move on and wait for your person to appear on the horizon.

Unrequited love for a man - what not to do

Most women in love under the yoke of their feelings make stupid and sometimes fatal mistakes. And of course, their actions do not lead to the fact that there are no reciprocal feelings on his part, but on the contrary, they scare the person even more.

You should never assume that the object of your desires will “switch” to your side if you reshape your character and appearance to suit him. On the contrary, you will lose your exclusivity and disappear into the crowd of those who look like everyone else, act like everyone else. Remember the behavior of modern girls who want to please a man. Someone really “holds on” to his individuality and, in any scenario, remains himself, with his respect and dignity.

But what are those who do terrible things for the sake of a loved one. They go under the plastic surgeon's knife, disfigure themselves, turn into stupid "giveaways" that you can't look at without longing. He will play with such a toy a maximum of 1-2 times and leave. You will become uninteresting to him!

Do not try to captivate a man with cunning, insidious intrigues, do not build a “fence” of traps around. And even if you manage to attract attention to yourself, make it your property, very soon he will hate you. It is impossible to live with a person you do not love, especially under the yoke of circumstances, the loss of freedom. You will destroy both your and his psyches and you will not be able to return to normal relations.

Forget about the saying "One love is enough for two!". This is not true! No matter how strong your love is, without reciprocity it has no power. You can't give all the time and still get nothing in return. This is especially dangerous if your feelings are strong and sincere. Giving all of yourself to his desires, you risk losing time, self-respect.

Unrequited love for a girl

Men are advised to immediately understand whether this is really an unrequited feeling or it just seems to him. Do not forget that girls tend to hide their feelings. Sometimes her behavior, indicating inaccessibility, a complete rejection of relationships, in fact, is fraught with quite the opposite. Let's first find out how she treats you. What do I need to do:

1. Approach the object of your desires and openly confess. Tell her how you feel about her and wait for a response. If she says "No" - do not rush to be upset. Often the feminine "No!" means "I'm embarrassed to say yes right away!". To put an end to this issue - invite her to a rendezvous, arrange a beautiful evening, bring delicate bouquet and order her favorite dishes, take a walk in the evening park. If she really feels something in relation to you, she confesses in response.
2. Come to the rescue at the right moment. You don't have to be an "on-duty" assistant. Let her turn to you. Your constant presence in difficult times will do the trick. She will need your person when she fails, when she needs support.
3. Watch yourself. Women love neat men. She will definitely pay attention to your pleasant perfume, stylish clothes and purity of the skin. Subconsciously, she projects your persona onto your future spouse, as all women do. And she will be pleased to see in her thoughts a clean, well-groomed and smart father of her children and a spouse.

Your efforts were in vain and no matter what you do for her, she rejects your love. Well, there is an unrequited feeling that you need to either fight or forget about your beloved forever.

How to forget her

Yes, if there is no hope that the relationship will develop, everything must be done to distract from unrequited love, to forget about it.

Kick wedge with wedge. Do not sit at home and do not suffer over a photograph of the one who rejected your love. Immediately go with friends to a party, to a club, disco, out of town for a picnic. In any case, it is necessary to dilute your life, and new acquaintances will especially help in this. Do not get hung up on unpromising relationships. Pay attention around - how many beautiful and cute girls are ready to decorate your life.

Immerse yourself in work, study. You can even get carried away with some extreme sport, hobby. Your thoughts will gradually be diluted with exciting ideas, projects that require special concentration.

What not to do for a man

Just like the fair sex, guys also make a lot of mistakes in pursuit of the location of their girlfriend. We will study carefully the moments that not only will not cause reciprocal feelings, but will make the girl simply hate you.

1. Pursue her. It is categorically impossible to limit the freedom of a person and control his actions. Who will be pleased every now and then in all corners to see the one who dries behind you? Do not, under any circumstances, follow her. And if you do arrange “random” meetings, then try to do this as little as possible. At the same time, you can’t refuse to relax with friends where she likes to have fun.
2. Try to buy it as gifts. To accept a gift means to agree to courtship. And the girls are well aware of this. It is inconvenient for her to refuse your gifts, and if something is warm in her towards you, then it should grow naturally. Constant and obsessive attention can scare away the girl's feelings and she will become indifferent to you.
3. Don't be too pushy. Rudeness is the main mistake of men. A self-respecting girl will not agree to build relationships with a rude and impudent. Be polite and educated. A little out of reach. Pay attention, but don't get carried away.
4. Be yourself. For the sake of the girl, it is not worth turning into her “slave”, ready to fulfill any of her desires. A woman loves a man, not a woman in "pants". As soon as you turn into her shadow, and run like a trained shepherd dog on any of her orders, interest in you will be exhausted.
5. Act like a man. In no case do not dissolve nurses and do not suffer in front of her eyes. Every single woman wants to see a strong, strong person who knows how to control himself next to her. Who needs a crybaby who cries because of unrequited love? Nobody!
6. Don't give up even strong love from their beliefs, ideas and interests. A person must be self-sufficient, responsible. And under no circumstances should you lose your self-respect. You will continue in the same spirit and demand respect for yourself - a smart girl sure to inflame feelings in your address.

Unrequited love - how to live with it

Of course, it's easy to say - forget about love and get carried away by another. But life is not so simple. Correctly say "You can't command your heart!". If you could deal with strong feelings at will, then there would be no sad love story in the world. And so, we now and then face grief and problems caused by unrequited love.

What to do? To live on! The saying "Time heals" refers specifically to the issue we are studying. Dear readers older age, let's remember how we suffered, cried and suffered because someone did not respond to our pure and strong feelings. And now we believe - "What a fool I was!", Or "What a fool I was!"

Yes, from the height of adult years it is easier to look back and look after the past with a smile and irony. Much worse for those who are in captivity of unrequited feelings. It seems that life has lost its meaning and there is no longer any need to continue to exist on this Earth. Stop and don't even think! Believe me, it will take just a couple of weeks, and you will be able to look at the world with different eyes. The main thing is to control yourself and listen to the recommendations described above. And time will do its job - you will gradually begin to forget about your suffering. And most likely, you will meet and get acquainted with someone who will share your feelings and make you a happy person.

Valeria Protasova

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Unrequited love is a dangerous feeling. It can drive a weak-minded person into a corner and lead to suicide. Depression, constant thoughts about the object of adoration, the desire to call, write, meet, although you know for sure that this is not at all mutual - this is what causes unrequited love.

Chase negative thoughts away and listen to the advice of psychologists if you suffer from unrequited love .

How to get rid of unrequited love in 12 steps - a guide to finding happiness

• Get rid of internal conflict with yourself : realize that there can be no future with your object of adoration, you can never be around.
  
  
  Understand that your feeling is not mutual and mentally release your loved one.
• Immerse yourself in study, work . Think of a new hobby: dancing, cycling, yoga, English, French or Chinese courses. Try to make sure that you simply do not have time for sad thoughts.
• Try changing your social circle. If possible, rarely meet with friends who, even by their presence, remind you of a loved one.
• Change your image. Get a new haircut, get some new fashion items.
• Help solve problems to your relatives and friends. You can sign up to volunteer for a charity or help workers at an animal shelter.
• Do not accumulate negative emotions and thoughts in yourself, let them come out. The best remedy from the negative - this is a sport.
  
  
  Visit the gym and dump all the weight of your pessimistic thoughts on the machines and punching bags.
• Get your inner world in order. A broken heart needs to be healed by reading educational literature about self-knowledge and self-improvement. This will help you look at the world in a new way, it will make you rethink life values ​​and set priorities correctly. Read also:
• Mentally put an end to the past and start making plans for the future. Set new goals for yourself and strive to achieve them.
• Boost your self-esteem. There are many affirmations and meditations on this topic. Do not focus on one single person who did not appreciate you. Do not forget that you are a person created by God for joy and love. You have a lot of positive qualities that you can easily identify in yourself, and there are flaws in everyone. Work on yourself, get rid of bad habits, improve yourself.
• Probably, you remember the proverb "a wedge is knocked out with a wedge"? Don't stay at home! Visit exhibitions, cinemas, theaters.
  
  
  Who knows, maybe your fate is already very close and, perhaps, soon you will meet true mutual love, which will bring not suffering, but a sea of ​​\u200b\u200bhappy days. Read also:
• If you feel like you can't do it on your own, then it is better to consult with experts . Contact a psychologist who will individually help you solve this problem.
• Appreciate yourself and know that your mutual love and fate will surely find you soon!

Psychologists' advice on how to survive unrequited love and never return to it again

Unrequited love is familiar to many. Here are the requests and questions that specialists receive, and What do psychologists advise? :

Marina: Hello, I am 13 years old. For two years now I have liked a guy from my school who is now 15 years old. I see him at school every day, but I hesitate to approach him. What to do? I suffer from unrequited love.

In this situation psychologists advise find this person on social networks and chat with him. From this virtual dialogue it will be possible to understand what actions can be taken in real life.

Vladimir: Help! I seem to be going crazy! I love a girl who just doesn't pay any attention to me. I am tormented by nightmares at night, I lost my appetite, I completely abandoned my studies. How to deal with unrequited love?

Psychologists recommend doing the following: imagine that you are looking at the current situation from the future, with a time interval of two years. After such a time, this problem will not have the slightest significance.

You can travel in your fantasies into the future, several years, months ahead, or into the past. Tell yourself that this time was not very successful, but next time you will definitely be lucky. By moving mentally through time, you can discover and develop a productive attitude towards the situation.

Even these negative situations will bring positive to the future: experiencing not very good events now, you will be able to better assess the components of the future life, gain experience.

Svetlana: I am in the 10th grade and I love unrequitedly a 17-year-old boy from the 11th grade of our school. We met with him in a common company four times. Then he started dating a girl from his class, and I continued to wait, hope and believe that soon he would be mine. But he recently broke up with ex-girlfriend and began to pay attention to me. I should be happy, but for some reason my heart became even harder than before. And if he offers to meet me, then I will most likely refuse - I'm not going to be an alternate airfield. But I also really want to be close to this guy. What to do, how to forget unrequited love? I do my homework, I go to bed - I think about him and torture myself. Please give advice!

Psychologist's advice: Svetlana, if the guy you sympathize with could not take a step towards meeting you, then take the initiative into your own hands. Maybe he's shy, or thinks he's not your type.

Try to start a conversation first. Find him on social media and text him first. This way you can establish initial contact and find common ground in interests and other topics.

Take action. Otherwise, you will experience unrequited love. Who knows, maybe he's in love with you too?

Sofia: How to get rid of unrequited love? I love without reciprocity and I understand that there is no prospect, no hope for a joint future ahead, but only emotional experiences and suffering. They say that you need to thank Life for what makes it possible to love. After all, if you love, then you live. But why is it very difficult to let go of a person and forget unrequited love?

Psychologist's advice: Unrequited love is a mirage. A person draws an image in his imagination and falls in love with this ideal, and not with reality. an existing person with its shortcomings and advantages. If love is unrequited, then there is no relationship, as such. Love is always two, and if one of them does not want to take part in a relationship, then this is not a love relationship.

I advise everyone who suffers from unrequited love to analyze their feelings and decide what specifically attracts you to the object of adoration, and for what reasons or factors you cannot be together.

What can you tell us about ways to get rid of unrequited love? It is very important for us to know your opinion!

Almost everyone at least once in their life was overtaken by unrequited love: what to do, where to run, how to cope with the feeling? Not everyone finds the answer - sometimes people cannot stop loving someone who does not pay attention to them for years. But we know what to do! We share ways of what to do if love is not mutual.

You don't have to do anything for a man who doesn't like you. Better pay attention and choose from those who like you. Source: Flickr (Alessandra_Papagni)

What to do if you fall in love unrequitedly?

First, let's figure out what true love is. Do you think you love a guy, but he doesn't love you? We hasten to dissuade - you just like it. True love is always mutual. Why?

Love is a feeling that is formed in a couple that has gone through all the stages of a relationship. The first is love, passion, the peak of emotions. The second is satiety, when a guy and a girl got a little tired of each other, began to spend less time together and spend it on their hobbies. The third is disgust. At this stage, many break up. It seems that love has passed, and the person next to you is an absolute stranger. In fact, love has not yet begun. Disgust is followed by patience - the stage when it seems to the couple that only habit binds them. And already after the stage of love, spiritual friendship begins.

So what if the guy doesn't love you, but you love him? Understand that your sympathy for him is a temporary phenomenon. That this is not a great feeling of a lifetime, but a fleeting infatuation. To realize that the world is full of other "princes" is a thousand times more worthy. Do not impose and do not admit: remember Tatyana Larina - the women's initiative does not end with anything good.

Important! If you are not ready to understand that unrequited love is not love at all; if you want to continue to cherish in your thoughts the bright image of your beloved without the hope of reciprocity; if you like to suffer and cry - our advice will not help.

Do you love him, but the guy doesn't notice you?

What do you do if you like a guy but he doesn't like you? Nothing! You don't have to do anything for a man who doesn't like you. Better pay attention and choose from those who like you. Of course, you can start making plans to win your lover, think over a strategy of seduction. But we guarantee - it will not lead to anything good. Even if you start a relationship, you will get a man who does not appreciate you, who is inactive and unloving.

What to do if you fell in love unrequitedly is absolutely not necessary:

• Confessing love to him is a 99 percent chance that you will be rejected.
• Impose - write, call, invite on dates first.
• Sitting at home, thinking about him, crying and getting discouraged.
• Figure out how to please him - fall in love even more, and he will still be indifferent.
• Send friends to him with questions.
• Try to get him drunk and seduce him.
• Trying to show how perfect and good you are will not appreciate.

It is interesting! The man is a hunter. He appreciates and loves what he got at the cost of colossal efforts. And he is not interested in what falls into his hands.

Your availability, tearful confessions, constant calls and SMS will cause nothing but irritation. But if you suddenly have a couple of fans, you will disappear from his field of vision, you will look happy and inspired - perhaps he will notice you and want to get you.

A woman who loves herself will never be puzzled by the question: “what should I do if someone doesn’t like me.” She does not notice those who do not see her beauty. Source: Flickr (Katherine_Lind_Photography)

How to forget non-reciprocal love

What do you do if you like a guy but he doesn't like you? Delete him from the list of worthy candidates for the role of your life partner! Remember: a girl should choose a man for herself from those to whom she likes. The one who put the most effort into winning her heart. Only with such a person will you be happy. And not with someone who will only allow himself to be loved.

Note! Do not expect that sooner or later your knight will mature and understand what a beautiful girl has been around all this time. This does not happen in men - they begin to realize when they lose. Therefore, first of all, disappear from his field of vision. If the loss does not notice - forget it. If he understands, he will begin to take steps towards.

So what to do if love is not mutual:

• Have an affair with yourself - start treating yourself the way you would like men to treat you. Treat yourself with gifts, delicious food. Write a list of compliments for yourself. It's great for boosting self-esteem.
• Always look good. Dress, manicure, painted eyelashes and neat eyebrows - a must! Don't let yourself leave the house a slob.
• Take up a hobby. What do you like to do? Sing, draw, dance? Choose any activity that you enjoy and give yourself to it! If there is no hobby at the moment, try everything in turn: sign up for a gym, dance, art school, cutting and sewing courses.
• Go on dates and get compliments. Accept worthy courtship from all the guys. male attention- the best medicine.

You should only come home to sleep. Hammer your free time to the limit - then there will not be even a minute left for sad thoughts and constant introspection. Love this life, fill it with what inspires you. Then you will forget about the guys who are not interested in you.

You can! Ways to get rid of unrequited love

What to do if unrequited love? The best way to stop thinking about a man is to start a relationship with someone who deserves you. Therefore, if you have already completed the tips from the previous section, start looking for a new lover:

• Register on a dating site (SZ). The myth that there are “only maniacs and perverts” is fundamentally wrong. If you met so many guys in real life, for 100 people a couple of perverts would also be found. Therefore, the contingent in the NW is no different - it's just that there are more opportunities there.
• Go on dates 7 times a week. Yes, it's practically your job now. The more options before your eyes, the higher the chance to meet your destiny. And when you have 7 dates a week, there is no time left to think about who liked you and who did not. Those who like you will begin to cut off the phone themselves.
• Do some sports. During physical activity Endorphins are produced in the body - hormones of happiness. You will be less sad, and the figure will tighten up.
• Get creative. creative pursuits incredibly fill a woman with energy. Draw, sing, dance, sculpt with clay.
• Take care of yourself. Don't know what to do? Make a manicure, face or hair mask, body wrap. If funds allow, go to beauty salons, spa centers and massages more often.

A woman who loves herself will never be puzzled by the question: “what should I do if someone doesn’t like me.” She does not notice those who do not see her beauty. Therefore, first of all, love yourself and stop wasting time on people who are unworthy of you.

Let's summarize: The best way get rid of unrequited love - take care of yourself. There should be no free time for sad thoughts! Please yourself, find a hobby, meet friends more often, go on dates. Start a romance with yourself and fill your life with positive - then the object of dreams will finally pay attention to you or free your thoughts.

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