Why do wives cheat on their husbands. Why a woman cheats on her husband - psychology and causes of female infidelity Can women not cheat

In romantic films, young people at the wedding read the “oath of allegiance”, which includes promises to love each other, to be there no matter what. But life sometimes presents surprises in the form of betrayal of one of the spouses.

The consciousness of society is arranged in such a way that men's walking "to the left" is taken for granted. Such behavior is often justified by natural data, the inner essence of the male character - the "conqueror". Therefore, the husband's infidelity is rarely condemned by society.

But women's campaigns "to the left" are considered something out of the ordinary, they are condemned. Statistics show that the number married girls, who cheat on their beloved halves, from year to year begins to grow. What is the cause of female infidelity, how to deal with it?

If we study trips to lovers in the family, then an extraordinary connection can be traced - the reasons for such actions in men and women contain different approaches.

The main essence of female infidelity

Some psychologists believe that cheating is a natural process for men. Simply put, they follow nature, often striving to win over as many of the opposite sex as possible. A woman by nature does not have such a desire. They have another desire - to choose best man. Simply put, in men's adventures, the decisive factor is quantity, for women, quality is important.

If a woman meets a man along the way who is superior to her acting lover, then she will give her heart to a successful representative.

Moreover, her husband can be a worthy person - he provides for the family, devotes time to her, takes care of the children. But the female gender is missing something, she is looking for this unknown something on the side, among other men.

Often there are situations when a wife cheats on a decent man, but does not leave him. What drives her, why does she choose this path? What are the motives of female infidelity? Let's take a look at this rhetorical question.

Reasons for female infidelity in marriage

Having studied the features, differences between male and female infidelities, let's move on to listing the motives that push a woman to take this step. Female adultery, taking into account the mentality of society, is perceived by people aggressively. Therefore, in order to decide to take a step into the abyss, a woman needs explicit arguments.

So what drives a woman to cheat?

1. revenge. Married life rarely runs smoothly. Housekeeping is accompanied by quarrels, scandals. But if for many couples issues are resolved mutually, then for some families, after a quarrel, there comes a moment when the spouse goes to the side. Either the husband simply behaves ugly, humiliates the woman, drinks or dissolves his hands. It will seem strange that the wife does not divorce, continues to live with such a person. Cheating can be an act of protest against a tyrant husband, an offender;
2. disappointment. Relationships change, especially when compared to the courtship period. A man who has conquered a girl calms down, stops paying attention to her. Instead of spending time together, the spouse simply immerses himself in the world of virtual reality or spends time watching TV. A girl who is used to receiving attention from her beloved can find it hard to endure such a change in behavior. It is difficult to pull out many young men from the usual quiet swamp even for a joint walk, keeping silent about visiting entertainment places. Cheating is a way to add bright colors to the gray everyday life;
3. bed relationship. Over time, sex in married people becomes something commonplace. Yes, people have different temperaments. The husband, coming home from work, wants to rest, to be left alone. A woman, especially a sensual one, can hardly endure such changes in her beloved, so she thinks about betrayal;
4. Men don't often show emotions. Especially after marriage, when the wife is at hand, already her own. Many men forget to compliment their soulmate, admire her beauty and other qualities. Most husbands take for granted all the household chores that the beloved bears on herself - cooking, cleaning, ironing. Few husbands are willing to just say "thank you" for what his wife does for him. In contrast, here is a man who is ready to admire every step, her actions, he likes everything - is this not a reason to change?
5. early marriage. In Russia and other Slavic countries, girls still strive to get married as soon as possible. Often such marriages are made hastily, the partners have no time to get to know each other. Because of what subsequently in family life disappointments begin. If a young girl is not satisfied with her husband emotionally, morally or physically, then she takes an example from her unmarried friends - she starts walking;
6. whatever one may say, the saying about the forbidden fruit is still relevant. Over time in a relationship or marriage, many women revisit principles. But if earlier betrayal was not even thought of, then with the advent of time it becomes a desirable action;
7. "herd instinct". No matter how rude it may sound, but often such feelings push a woman to infidelity. Various factors lead to this - statements, actions of girlfriends, mass propaganda of unhealthy behavior through the media, or something else. The result is one - the wife gets herself a lover.

Psychology. Why do women cheat on men

Women's psychology is arranged in such a way that treason occurs as a result of the appearance of feelings. As it happens, the one who is near is annoying, seems unpleasant, annoying. The forbidden man becomes a real treasure for her, which entails inaccessibility. If he still shows truly masculine qualities, the woman begins to fall in love. Such loves eventually pass, bring disappointment. But for a while, the woman is sure that this man is her only destiny.

What is the difference between male and female infidelity:

1. the senses. For men, cheating is a physiological process; they do not need feelings to change. It is different with women, the very fact of physical contact is not so important for them, they cheat on their husbands only because they feel a feeling of love;
2. partner choice. Men's infidelity is characterized by a less picky choice. Simply put, it is enough for them that the mistress was beautiful in appearance. Women do not change with anyone. They make lovers from the list of worthy gentlemen;
3. story after action. Men who have a mistress do not get divorced. It is unprofitable for them - life is established at home, on the side there are vivid emotions, new impressions. Why change everything if everything is great? Women take a different approach. If they are in love, they try to break off relations with an already unloved husband, build new ones with their lover.

How to prevent female infidelity in the family?

Women's adventures are made when a new feeling arises. Therefore, if adultery has already been, it will be difficult for the spouse to return everything back, to achieve the former idyll.

A woman, most likely, will already be ready to break off relations, plunge into new feelings with her head. To be honest, few men are ready to forgive their beloved betrayal.

The opinions of psychologists on this issue converge, it is better not to bring the situation to an extreme boiling point, to mutually start working on relationships. The methods are different. But in one aspect, all psychologists agree - if you leave family life, as it is, with mutual claims, insults, it is unlikely that you will be able to maintain a relationship.

Here are the main tips for men who, without visible effort, will help to establish contact with their beloved and significantly improve family ties:

1. make time for your loved one. Undoubtedly, the work is exhausting, when you come home, you only want one thing - to rest, so that no one touches you. But if you take a few minutes to your wife - ask how she is doing, what's new happened during the day - it will take a little time, but it will restore contact and soften the heart of her beloved;
2. be more to her than a passport spouse. In order for a married woman to be as attached to her husband as possible - become her friend, father, lover - in general, she should receive all types of male help from you. If you can listen to her, give practical advice, nail a shelf, give affection and tenderness, she will not want to look for another gentleman on the side;
3. quarrel. A family in which all claims are hushed up, swallowed up by the parties, will not live long. It is impossible to accumulate resentment without exploding one fine day. Therefore, all psychologists unanimously repeat: there is a problem - it needs to be solved. Speak grievances, try to find a solution together. And remember that you also need to be able to quarrel. Ugly screams, insults and obscene swearing will not lead to a solution to the issue;
4. talk openly about the intimate side of life. Many couples are embarrassed to discuss their sexual problems with each other, which they enjoy in bed. General dissatisfaction negatively affects relationships. Against this background, it seems rather strange that cheating with a stranger seems to many people a normal way out. Despite the fact that with his half there was not even an attempt to talk. In practice, couples who dare to discuss intimate life, discovered their partner in a new way, breathed bright colors into relationships;
5. respect is the foundation of a relationship. Remember this, try to pay maximum attention to respect. If a person does not respect his beloved, then the marriage is doomed to failure. Listen to your wife, say that you expect the same from her;
6. do not plunge into the abyss of everyday problems. An established lifestyle sucks, deprives of any desire to embark on adventures - that's the problem. This reason leads according to statistics to the mass of divorces. Arranging a small surprise just like that is not difficult, but so pleasant. Such moments are remembered best of all, heal the situation between the spouses;
7. don't be overly jealous. Unfounded suspicions, constant nit-picking and total control are no help for healthy family relationships. A woman will get tired of receiving accusations of non-existent treason, and will commit it in practice.

Note! Female adultery is an action that is preceded by a long preparatory period. Women do not go “to the left” out of fleeting emotions; they are realized after a thorough analysis of the situation and many hours of painful thoughts.

Why do wives like to cheat?

Much has been said about the causes of infidelity, the components and differences in approaches to infidelity between men and women. It is worth noting that all ladies can be divided into two large categories:

1. those who changed once by accident and are tormented by this;
2. those who see everyday life in treason and constantly make lovers.

There is one key difference here. There are women who get all these feelings without violating personal boundaries. But there is also a category that is not able to diversify life without trips to lovers. Every day their need for diversity is ever higher.

Why does the wife want to cheat?

Among women, there are also many who commit adultery, not only because of feelings or cooled family relationships. Among the weaker sex there are ladies who are ready for infidelity, for the sake of:

1. careers. There are many examples when a big boss gets girls who are ready to do anything for a promotion;
2. wealth. The desire of the beauties of the XXI century to live on a grand scale is not always realized in reality. The average man cannot provide a monthly flight abroad, holidays in resorts, shopping and other delights of life. When a rich lover is a classic for all time;
3. just because she likes to feel adrenaline, to change men. There are women like this too. At the same time, she is comfortable living with her husband, who belongs to the class of spineless.

Consequences of female adultery in marriage

Everyone knows that change is bad. Few people are ready for such a development of events. But you can never give up. Complicated Relationships with her husband, a business trip, at a meeting with classmates or relaxing alone in resorts - there are a lot of options, but the result is the same. A woman is left alone with betrayal and does not know what will happen next, how to deal with it.

Consider the consequences of female adultery from the point of view of two sides - the state of a woman and a man.

What are the consequences of infidelity for a woman?

It doesn’t matter for what reasons this happened, after infidelity, many questions remain - to tell your husband or not? How to behave and what to do next? What to answer if he asks? Psychologists agree that it is by no means worth talking about this, especially if the betrayal occurred one-time, in other words, “accidentally”.

You are not interested in continuing a relationship with a strange man, you do not want more of this experience, then you cannot definitely tell your husband. This hurts his feelings, will lead to a change in relations between spouses.

On the part of the husband, most likely, uncontrollable jealousy and constant suspicions will appear. This is how everything will happen - he will torment you with questions - how everything happened, with whom and most importantly who is better, he will begin to constantly control you, find fault with trifles.

The unfaithful woman herself does not feel happy. On the contrary, she begins to suffer and suffer. She is covered by a whole range of emotions - shame, remorse, fear of being discovered. After the moment of betrayal, a woman begins to think about how and what to talk about, she introduces total control into her life. This exhausts her psychologically, emotionally and can lead to depression, neuroses, and nervous breakdowns.

For most women, cheating is a life-changing act. But in order not to torment yourself with vain torments, it is better to carry out mental work on mistakes.

Think why did this happen? What emotions led to such an unpleasant act? What was the last straw? Reasoning logically, without unnecessary emotions, you can get to the bottom of the truth and try to solve the problem found in a loyal way.

To understand the accompanying emotions in more detail, consider them using the example of the most common causes of infidelity:

1. new impressions. Life becomes boring over time, as well as relationships between spouses, including sexual ones. There is no longer that ardor, passion, hot sighs as between the young. The spouse has already been studied inside and out. If the betrayal came from a desire to get new emotions, then women are subsequently very disappointed. Taking into account the fact that all the subtleties of physical contact have already been studied with a loved one, satisfaction in marriage with a familiar partner often occurs in a woman. With a lover, this may not happen. And in general, is there any confidence in a woman that after several years of life with her lover, the same thing will not happen? In general, some disorders;
2. male impotence. This problem is one of the most serious. Sexual impotence under stress is increasingly common in young men in their 30s. Marriage, as it were, is strong, but must include sexual relations. If the beloved man next to you does not want or cannot carry out such actions? Cheating with another will also not bring relief to the female soul. If the relationship with her husband is good, then cheating will cause a feeling of shame, self-abasement about deceit good man. Is it worth changing - definitely not. It is worth running to the doctor with your husband, trying by all means to solve the problem that has arisen;
3. curiosity. No matter how strange it may sound, but the interest in the unknown pushes women into bed with unfamiliar men. Frankly speaking, a woman can get real pleasure in combination with an emotional component. If you change just like that, then a woman will not receive any pleasure, much less happiness. In return, there will be remorse, a dumb question - that's what was all this for?
4. revenge. Husband cheated, and you decided to repay him with the same coin? Let's just say that the path is fundamentally wrong. After that, the woman will feel in front of her husband - a traitor, a deceiver. Would this analogy be nice? Such prospects will please not many. If you want to take revenge - please, but already outside the bonds of marriage. Otherwise, the female act will not differ in any way from the act of the partner.

What are the consequences of infidelity for a man?

If a man finds out about his wife's infidelity, this strikes him with a blow to pride. A man's self-esteem drops, jealousy and a decadent mood develop. The very fact of infidelity tells a man that his companion does not respect his partner. Even if outwardly he is ready to forgive his wife and give her another chance, then inwardly he will continue to be indignant, constantly remembering the betrayal.

As a result of dissonance, psychological disorders arise, aggression, inferiority complexes are manifested, it comes to sexual inability. Such manifestations are easily explained. Having forgiven the betrayal, the man subscribes to his insolvency. Because in the aspect of infidelity, a man pays attention only to physical contact. Which is a fact of insufficient male power if the girl chose another man. He does not pay attention to the romantic component at all.

Every man - the owner, perceives his wife (companion, girlfriend) as a trophy that is won in a fair fight. Therefore, a woman who has changed is no longer his prey, and this is a shame. The very attitude towards the traitor is expressed in complete contempt. Cheating is nothing but betrayal. If even in a relationship the wife could not resist, then how to hope for such a person further?

To forgive women's infidelity?

This question arises in men who love their wife, but are tormented by the fact of infidelity. It is difficult to find a single answer for every situation. But consider it from the point of view of the psychological state of a man.

The husband is confused, embittered, depressed. If the infidelity is forgotten and the family tries to return to their usual way of life, it is unlikely that everything will be the same as before. Forgiveness of betrayal is difficult to achieve. In most cases, a man who has forgiven his wife becomes weak and supple in the eyes of a woman. Such men are not respected, they wipe their feet on them and continue to cheat.

Thus, to the question of whether it is worth forgiving, the answer is unequivocal - it is impossible. Why to preserve your inner peace and dignity.

Why do you dream that your wife is cheating?

Dreams are a mysterious thing. Sometimes a man may dream that his wife is cheating. He is ready to transfer this situation to real life. But here's the problem. Dreams are a reflection of our hidden thoughts and experiences. Therefore, if in a dream you witnessed infidelity, most likely the whole thing is increased jealousy and suspicion.

Analyze how worried you are about the possible fact of infidelity. Are there any prerequisites for this or do you only have your own conjectures? If a man had such a dream, and he is disturbing - pay attention to his wife, try to devote more time to her. So you will find out about the absence or presence of infidelity, strengthen relationships so that infidelity does not happen.

The topic of female infidelity is extensive. It is difficult to draw one line under all situations. Each family has its own rules, features, so no story of infidelity is like the rest. But in this whole story important points worth summarizing:

1. cheating is a voluntary act. Despite the reasons that could lead to the commission of the act, the final decision is made by the person himself. That is why it is not worth blaming the circumstances. There is another way out of any situation;
2. men and women see cheating differently. If for a man it is more important that a woman physically belonged to another, then for the beautiful half, feelings come first;
3. to admit to infidelity or not is a rhetorical question. It is impossible to give unambiguous advice without knowing the people, the details. But the old rule still applies: “the less you know, the better you sleep”;
4. how to be spouses after infidelity? Forgive your wife or not? A question that haunts deceived husbands. If you decide to forgive, restore family relationships - the topic of betrayal should be forgotten once and for all. You can’t blame and in the heat of a quarrel, try to prick your spouse more painfully with this information.

Attitudes towards infidelity are formed not only through public opinion. Own point of view is developed over the years, wisdom and understanding come. Therefore, the older people are, the easier it is to forgive betrayal. But still, it is better not to allow such a situation and try to correct it even at the time the first alarm bells appear.

For every normal person, cheating is not the norm. But we are all used to the fact that the strong half of humanity are polygamous creatures and it is difficult for them to resist the charms of an outside lady. The majority looks at the campaigns of men “to the left” through their fingers, and no matter how unpleasant it may be, the wives are trying to find an excuse for their man. But as far as female infidelity is concerned, the situation is much more complicated. Female adultery always causes a sharp reaction from her husband. Of course, infatuation with the wife of another man is a rarer situation. But still, it is also present, and sadly, in recent years, the number of divorces due to infidelity of the wife began to increase exponentially. Why a woman looks “to the side”, what a loving husband needs to think about and what measures to take.

What is the difference between female infidelity and male infidelity?

It is immediately worth noting that adultery in a lady initially occurs in her head. It is in men that the “bulb” of betrayal lights up at the sight of the first skirt, and they, like a donkey for a carrot, are ready to follow the beauty anywhere. Just to get intimacy and satisfy your desires. No, no one is going to offend anyone, but things really are that way. After all, men are not to blame for being polygamous. For women, the mechanism works differently. For various reasons, which we will explore later, she draws in her mind someone with whom she would be comfortable, behind whom she would feel like behind a stone wall, under full protection.

You should also not miss the desire to feel the pleasure of communication, intimacy. For her, contact is not something momentary, easy relaxation. Thus, women reveal their essence, and giving herself to her lover, she seeks to get what she has not felt with her lawful spouse for a long time. She needs warmth, understanding. But before committing adultery, a woman is ready to endure everything:

• resentment;
• inattention;
• contempt;
• indifference;
• lack of money, up to violence on the part of her husband and his betrayals.

And when all the forces are exhausted, there is no way to change the situation and continue to endure problems, the lady thinks about the “prince on a white horse”, and bribes the flattery of an outside man. Sometimes a couple of warm words are enough for her to thaw and go after tenderness, affection. She takes into account the person's ray, to which you need to go for the very happiness that she has lost.

Important: we are not talking about women suffering from the mental illness "nymphomania". In this case, to assess the behavior of a concerned lady, a consultation with a psychiatrist, endocrinologist and gynecologist is needed.

Why are men polygamous and women monogamous?

Everything that is created and provided by nature is not just like that. Why are men so greedy for multiple connections? Everything is simple. While the lady was waiting for him in the hut and preparing the remains of the mammoth, he had to get a new portion of "products" - to kill another mammoth, run after hares, shoot birds. And, of course, he put himself in danger. During the hunt, many breadwinners died and in order to compensate for their loss, they had to leave as many offspring as possible.

And in general, life was short for everyone then, replenishment of human losses depended only on the polygamy of the male, who sowed his seed wherever he could. Thanks to such “illegibility” of our ancestors, despite serious threats and dangers, humanity exists, including our readers. But the women patiently waited by the blazing hearth and diligently prepared food, creating comfort for their beloved hunter.

Why women cheat

Now a completely different system and according to the norms of civil society, the family must remain faithful and harmonious relationship. If you fell out of love with each other - get a divorce. But no, you need to go "to the left" and continue living together. After all, there is no need to sow your seed everywhere, no one and nothing threatens. But in men, this is preserved in the genes, then for what reason does a woman go for treason? There is no need to discover America, everything is banal and simple. In the first place is the behavior of a strong half, who believes that happiness is in his “hands” and it will not go anywhere. Consider the main number of factors influencing the behavior of ladies.

Lack of attention from a man

Indifference, indifferent attitude of a man to his lady. Most of the representatives of the stronger half after several years of joint married life sure that their spouse is doomed to drag out their existence next to him in any case. Little by little, joint weekends, communication, and common interests disappear. also in married couple often in a couple of years a habit develops, but passion subsides. Less and less often a husband and wife retire, have sex. Often in the first place are domestic problems, quarrels, caring for children. For this reason, the woman is sure that she has fallen out of love, because before her beloved made gifts and surprises with or without, now he is cold. To make up for the lack of attention and romance, she thinks about other relationships and, in the end, starts dating another man.

The weakness of a man

We often witnessed such a situation: the wife continually complains that her husband does not help with the housework. She admires her friend's husband, who spends his free time in the kitchen, does the cleaning himself, bakes amazing pies, and at the same time never, in any way, does not object to his august. Is it worth it to admire this "idyll" so much? In no case.

A weak man who has a set of feminine habits cannot attract a true woman. Each of us needs a strong, maybe a little powerful partner who will protect the home and family. After all, waiting for her beloved from work, the lady tries to cook the most delicious dish, tidy up and put on the most elegant. And for the second "woman" in the house, it makes no sense to try. He is like a poodle on a leash - he will do whatever you order and will endure as much as you like. But at the same time, he does not undertake to solve serious issues, he is not able to sort out the relationship, and quietly behind his beloved he lives a calm and comfortable life. And what remains for the weak half is to look for a strong and strong male on the side.

unjustified hopes

Any woman is, first of all, a mother who dreams that her children will grow up in comfort and not need finances. In order to ensure health and a good education for his children, the father of the family is obliged to properly provide for his family. Poverty, the constant lack of money, no less irritate those who do not yet have offspring. Any normal lady wants to look normal, dress, cook for her husband from good products. In the end, financial trouble forces a woman to look towards a rich boyfriend who will gladly provide for the needs of his mistress. Naturally, without sexual intimacy, she will not get it.

Restriction in actions

Excessive control on the part of the spouse backfires. As a rule, before the wedding, couples agree to achieve their desires and help each other in this. If the spouse was able to graduate from high school and grow up the career ladder, the wife has the same rights. In reality, things usually go differently. The husband is ready to present any arguments in favor of the fact that his beloved does not need to continue her studies, get a job, or even force her to quit. Ambition of the female half, especially modern type are no different from men.

Every self-respecting contemporary of ours, who graduated from school with honors, after spending years at the institute, wants to continue doing her favorite thing. At the same time, she is able to give birth and raise children, attracting the attention of grandmothers and nannies. The husband, in turn, is trying to underestimate the abilities and capabilities of his wife. But there will be someone on the side who will support her and appreciate her talents, and in return she will give her tenderness and affection. That is, a woman has a friend of interest, for whom it costs nothing to become a sexual partner.

Making up for the lack of intimacy

Here, whatever it is - physiological reasons. If a woman has been forced to live without sex for a long time for various reasons - her husband's illness, his low potency, long business trips, etc., then she is looking for intimacy on the side. Moreover, the situation can arise even for the most modest wife. After all, nature requires its own and every lady should receive a portion of not only oral, but also tactile attention.

1. There is another, not entirely proven factor that affects the betrayal of a woman. We are talking about the accumulated sexual need, which was passed down from generation to generation. The woman's ancestors lived in puritanical conditions and did not give vent to their desires. So, in the body of their successor at a certain moment there is a “breakdown” and she cannot quench her thirst, entering into intimacy not only with her husband, but also with other men.
2. Violence. Here you can talk not only about physical, but also psychological violence. In the first case, there are beatings accompanied by scandals. Psychologically, this means insulting, humiliating, constantly making claims and excessive control. Such treatment forces a woman to defend herself, and if she does not have the opportunity to leave the family, then she starts a relationship on the side. There she receives warmth, recognition and is not subjected to cruel treatment, psychological aggression.

wedge wedge

This moment is the most common. Having learned about the relationship of the spouse on the side, the ladies act in several directions.

1. They immediately find out the address of the rival and, armed with anger, go to the showdown. The result can be a female fight with tufts of hair torn out, an inscription on the car of the husband’s mistress “You are with ... a”, etc. But there are also very extreme moments - up to physical elimination.
2. The second direction is complete despondency and whining into the pillow. Having been subjected to powerful stress due to the adultery of her husband, the wife falls into a deep depression and continuously cries in secret from everyone. She is silent about her condition and tries not to fall into the eyes of her husband with streams of tears. But this behavior is very dangerous. Low self-esteem can lead to suicidal behavior.
3. The third direction is treason. Upon learning that, women show an act of defiance. She may continue to take care of the house or completely abandon her obligations and go to a beauty salon. There she directs a full marafet, negotiates with her friends and forward to an excellent restaurant. Already there, she will find someone with whom she will come off to the fullest, so that her legal spouse cannot climb through the highest doors because of growths in the form of huge horns.

Husband drug addict or alcoholic

It is also difficult not to understand a woman here, because she is forced to continue to drag out her existence with a man addicted to addictions. Sometimes this is a banal attachment and a sense of responsibility, but more often children and common obligations force the family to keep. Communication with another man can last for years, and most often, this is also a not free person. He is ready to help morally, and if possible - financially.

Important: living together with a drug addict, a cruel despot will not lead to anything good. Moreover, you should not try to save such a marriage for the sake of children, otherwise the result will be a disturbed psyche of the younger family members and wasting your life on an unworthy person.

How to keep your loved one from cheating

Is it possible to fight female infidelity? The question is, of course, a difficult one. After all, it must be taken into account that if a lady, in whose nature it is to protect the hearth, love her husband and give birth to children, decided to “walk”, things are more than serious. A loving husband needed to take care in advance that the family union would not crack. The betrayal of a once loving wife is the moment when a marriage shatters into pieces. Can anything be done? What actions need to be taken so that the little wife does not look around?

1. Before you get married, you need to pay attention to the reputation of your future wife. Of course, it smacks of "naphthalene", mistrust. But we are talking about serious moments when a girl is promiscuous in sexual relations and now and then changes partners with enviable constancy. We are talking about a completely official disease - nymphomania. This disease is associated with problems in the endocrine, gynecological, nervous and other systems. Most likely, it makes sense to talk with your beloved and seek adequate treatment from a specialist.
2. Make sure that your spouse cannot imagine her life without you. It's not just about physical attachment. She should feel your care, love and support at any time and on any issues. But do not overdo it, remember the point about the weaknesses of a man. Show participation unobtrusively, protect your beloved in all situations and imbued with her problems.
3. Don't cheat on your wife. It seems to you that your spouse is quiet and modest, she will never raise her voice at you and endure all your antics. Have you decided to have an affair on the side, and are you sure that your wife will not know about it? And if he finds out, will he silently endure and forgive all insults? How naive you are, how wrong you are, it's just ridiculous. Firstly, the awl in the bag cannot be hidden. She will definitely know about your adventures. Believe me, the world is not without "kind" people, many would like to see the destruction of the idyllic picture of your family. It can be friends, girlfriends, an offended admirer or the same lover. And as for the silent "neighbor" in the apartment - then wait for an answer. normal woman does not intend to silently swallow the insult, and betrayal is a humiliation of the dignity of the spouse. And as we have already indicated, one of the answers to your adultery may be her hobbies on the side.
4. Remove excessive control and let your spouse develop. She is the same person as you - with ambitions, dreams, a desire to show herself in her favorite business, etc. Yes, and for the head of the family, if he normal person the successes and achievements of his beloved should be pleasant. Here we need help, support, and if necessary, a temporary replacement of the wife in her main place - next to you, among the children. But do not overdo it, do not turn into a second mistress. A woman should not completely abandon her family and her direct functions.
5. Communicate as often as possible. Routine, monotony of everyday life, fatigue, everyday life, lack of finances can lead to complete alienation. Do not lose connection under any circumstances. Even if there are difficulties, solve them together or at least discuss a plan of action. Do not forget to talk about romantic, abstract topics in any troubles. You begin to be silent, keep everything in yourself - the wife may immediately have a natural question - why does he not want to communicate with me. Maybe he has someone on the side, or I'm unable to listen, to give good advice. And in general, I need to be noticed. So she will go to look for a person on the side who will talk to her enough and receive physical satisfaction in return.
6. Don't lose trust. Be open and honest with your significant other. Do not be secretive, share your new acquaintances, circle of friends. Tell what happened at work and who your colleagues are, especially point out to the fairer sex. Never lie, remember the saying - "Big lies begin with small deceptions." Having sensed something was wrong at least once, she will stop believing in you, and doubt will push you to change.
7. With a sweet paradise and in a hut, if comfort reigns in it. No wonder psychologists are very understanding about the easy addition to the old saying. It is impossible to build without financial well-being cozy house, raise children, purchase food, clothes, etc. A man who is in constant search will quickly lose his beloved. After all, she is not obliged to solve issues for him and pull the problems of the family on her fragile shoulders. Immediately take on any job, the main thing is that there is prosperity in the house. We are not talking about those who are forced to lose earnings due to illness or a sudden reduction in staff. Yes, and the appetites of the spouse should be normal. Demanding a foreign car when your salary does not allow it is at least reckless. But there is a risk that in the pursuit of wealth, she will find herself a rich gentleman.
8. Be a man and head of your own family. It is the male representative who must take on serious obligations and solve them. When getting married, your wife dreamed that her chosen one would be a caring breadwinner, a gentle and attentive father, and, of course, a responsible and loving husband. If you do not meet these very normal criteria, she will rush in search of a lover who can solve any issues.
9. Help your wife around the house, periodically give her a break from the noise and din of her beloved household. Unlike men, women's workday does not end with leaving the office. Most of the load lies within the walls of the home. Upon arrival, she is forced to cook, wash, clean, iron, take care of children, bathe, put to bed, read fairy tales, check homework. The list of works can be continued without end, while the spouse is enough to come home, take a shower and sit down at the TV. Everything else is ready, because she took care of everything. What do you think, in this situation, would a woman want to rest her soul and feel attention from the outside? Think for yourself...

We have studied the main points that indicate the causes of female infidelity and ways to prevent it. And everything that is described above is not the author's opinion, but the conclusions of psychologists. But there is one, the main axiom, against which no specialist can oppose. Any troubles, up to male, female betrayals can be experienced if true love reigns between a couple. This feeling is not a banal passion and sighs on the bench, but a complex that includes mutual understanding, compliance, the ability to listen, hear and support in difficult times. It is these moments that will glue any family relationships and go through life hand in hand.

All for now.
Sincerely, Vyacheslav.

Female adultery is the strongest blow to self-esteem, lowering the self-esteem of a man, his ability to actively and productively interact with the outside world. Due to the established features of the organization of the internal space and evolutionary attitudes, it is female adultery that has more devastating consequences for a joint union. Most often, men are not able to forgive not only betrayal, but even a hint of it, therefore, this event is usually followed by the destruction of relationships. For the woman herself, this turns into a damaged reputation and the annulment of any obligations and debts of a man to her. Despite modernity and universally declared equality, the attitude towards sexual freedom in our world has remained quite archaic, which makes adultery accessible for a man, and sometimes commendable, but practically impossible for a woman.

But it is worth remembering that female adultery in marriage is an extremely rare thing and usually occurs when the relationship has become obsolete. Despite the possibility of internal pain from the betrayal of a woman, it is worth abstracting and even thanking her for it. The first positive thing that you can rest against, after a stormy stage of experience, is that you can really look at your companion and your life - betrayal is sobering, and then it becomes noticeable that all this time you lived with a stranger, that the emotional connection has already disappeared or that your life is overgrown with moss, and you are rolling confidently into the abyss, and the woman does not want to disappear because of your inactivity. Freed from outdated relationships or focused on improving and rehabilitating your life, after a while you will be grateful to the woman for such a mean act.

But such philosophical reasoning requires time, endurance and the ability to understand both the reasons that prompted a woman to change and her own role in order to draw conclusions and avoid mistakes in the future. And even if the thunder has not yet struck personally in your family, it is worth knowing how female adultery to her husband begins and looks, so as not to be a provocateur of your own misfortune.

Reasons for female infidelity

It is wrong to consider adultery exclusively the prerogative of men, female adultery to her husband has the same right to exist, the only difference is that women are guided by others, and indeed change less often (although this is exactly the case when quality exceeds quantity). Since the emotional side of communication is more important for a woman, it is unlikely that she will change with the first call of the body (which is more understandable to men). A woman will go for emotional intimacy, spiritual contact, betrayal will be more like a second family than a fleeting affair, and it will be almost impossible to convict her of this, because guided by the concern for the peace of mind of all participants in the triangle, she will very carefully cover her tracks.

Neither stress relief, nor excess alcohol will push a woman to change if she loves her man, but when there are no more feelings, and then she suddenly falls in love - this is a significant reason for the woman herself to destroy her previous relationship. This is the most common reason and the most terrible from the point of view of the husband, since he can do practically nothing here, you can’t forcefully correct people’s feelings and you won’t return them back.

So that female adultery in marriage does not happen because of a new love, you will always have to be proactive and support the feelings and interest of your companion. No need to stop dating after you put on the ring and put a stamp, because someone else will continue to compliment your woman and help with heavy bags at the entrance. From such household trifles and male self-confident relaxation, women cease to feel their need, and having received a simple look of admiration in another place, they will want to return there.

But some women do not act on such romantic convictions, but prefer to have a lover solely to satisfy intimate needs. Those. you are completely satisfied with her as a partner in life and communication, but something is not going well in the intimate sphere, and most women know how traumatic it is for a man to hear criticism or dissatisfaction in his address on the topic of dissatisfaction in bed, so they choose to protect your peace of mind, satisfying your hunger on the side.

It should not be discounted that women experience grievances for a long time, and if, in her opinion, you have not apologized or repented enough, then betrayal may well act as an instrument of revenge, most often for your betrayal, so that it is equivalent and you can feel the same pain. There is no need to talk about the continuation of such relations, everything will look more like a cold war, without the possibility of returning trusting interaction.

Among the not so frequent, but still occurring reasons pushing for treason, there are boredom, a desire to feel the romance of the initial period of the relationship, an example taken from parental family, the desire to get the desired position or promotion. Frequent or long separations can push for betrayal, but here the question is how your communication is organized - some couples, living nose to nose, manage not to give their partner due attention, and some, staying online for months, bring the relationship to new level knowledge and depth.

Nevertheless, remembering that feelings and intimacy, and even more so relationships for a woman, are practically inseparable, half of the reasons can be prevented if you do not let the interaction take its course and continue to give your woman a feeling of need and love, and by noticing the next signs of an impending betrayal (in women, she rarely happens spontaneously, as well as love) quickly turn on. At the initial stage, any husband is able to beat a new admirer, because he is better aware of the weaknesses and tastes of his beloved.

Signs of female infidelity

Doubts about betrayal can creep in from scratch, driven by a man's own insecurities, but there are situations when a woman's behavior changes and makes you think. If the betrayal was one-time under the influence of the moment, then nothing will change in your companion, but if the situation takes a serious turn and a stormy serious romance begins to develop behind your back, then it will have peculiar external manifestations.

If earlier your lady could absolutely calmly ask to read the message that came to her phone, because her hands were busy, she sat calmly at the open chat window when you approached from the back, but now the situation has changed. Passwords appear on communication devices, screens turn off when you are nearby, and when you try to look yourself, a scandal begins - eloquently indicate the emergence of a secret, and it would be nice if this is a surprise in honor of your anniversary, but it is unlikely.

Changes in appearance for the better are a signal that a woman wants to please. Jeans are abandoned, but new stockings have appeared, makeup is always perfect, and she began to work on her figure for several days in the gym. If even a slight, but a crisis, did not happen in her life, no one deployed her with a caustic remark in the direction of taking care of herself, but this is done with an alluring gleam of joy in her eyes, then this is for the sake of someone. Do not rush to draw conclusions on such indirect things, perhaps your wife is trying to return a spark of passion to your relationship, and all ideas of seduction are addressed to you.

The emergence of new friends and companies where she is not going to bring you. But she regularly spends time there, especially in the evening, often staying until late at night or even staying overnight with her girlfriends, justifying that it was late and drunk to go. If this state of affairs is also reinforced by cooling in intimacy or even removal from intimacy, then the reason is not at all in poor health or constant lack of sleep.

This may be followed by a nervous removal of your touches, criticism of actions and statements that have not previously caused negativity. Showing disrespect and lack of attitude as a man, degrading or degrading comments indicate an extreme degree of irritation and it would be good if you were lost in the jungle.

Excessive employment that has appeared, preventing her from picking up the phone even on the tenth call, obliging her to return home closer to the night, frequent mention of one of her colleagues - can be a work rush, but then she will not be against your help, and will not forbid picking her up late from work.

Complete indifference to you and the manifestations of your life is a natural sign of a more significant man. She no longer worries why you are late - this gives more time for romantic communication, she is not touched by your problems - this no longer affects her life, she is indifferent to quarrels and scandals - it does not matter and spend energy on what is no longer relevant in her life she's not going to. Questions disappear from your wife’s speech, and she answers all yours with indifference, indifference, giving you the right to do as you please.

In principle, at first you can even rejoice at such changes - your woman began to look great, she can’t stand the brain with interrogations and requests to show your correspondence, she doesn’t demand anything (no reports where she was, no material things), she approves of all your trips and undertakings, she starts to take care of herself. The change model looks like a wish list of men for their companions, but in fact, few people like such coldness and detachment, and the induced beauty and attractiveness is inaccessible. Although such changes can appear without betrayal on the part of a woman, and even if this is the case, they signal that the relationship is under great threat.

And of the more direct signs from which you can not hide, you can list the appearance of expensive jewelry and perfumes, new clothes and phones, without increasing income. This also includes the solution by a woman of her own problems on her own and an increasing immersion in correspondence, while you can watch her face smiling at the screen. She will come home in the same car, smell like a stranger men's perfume. But these are no longer signs, this is a direct provocation and mockery.

The psychology of female infidelity

A woman's betrayal may look like a man's, the frequency and quantity may coincide, but the psychological and motivational aspects will be different, which is due to the difference in gender psychology. If you start from the basic physiological level and analysis, laid down in the subcortex, then men are driven to treason by the desire to fertilize the maximum number of women in order to procreate and consolidate their gene code in the phenotype of the area. A woman does not strive for fertilization by many, because. from the point of view of the evolutionary survival of the species, it is enough for her to have one strong male who takes care of her and the children. This is where the mechanism works, aimed at attracting the maximum number of men, in order to then choose the strongest of them. Those. the natural behavior of a woman is to interest a large number of men.

Cheating begins when the previously chosen man no longer shows himself as the strongest and most reliable option. He may stop showing initiative or care less about a woman, because. its goal has already been achieved. Here the female mechanism works, saying, as it were, “he used to take care of the best, but now he doesn’t - the threat of hunger and death,” and there are many men around who show their strongest sides in all their glory. The problem is that initially all men carry out such a PR campaign of themselves, but few are able to show themselves in this way all the time.

Of the psychological moments that are not so involved in evolution, it is worth noting the desire to please that is constantly present in a woman, and in a bored life all reactions become predictable, the need to talk about the feelings and exclusivity of a partner disappears, and a woman plunges into a nasty feeling of uselessness and forgetfulness to anyone. In such circumstances, to melt away from a man who raises her to a shining Olympus (for a while, we remember) is an organic and natural behavior. You need attention and confirmation of your desire, of course, it’s better from your husband, but if he only looks at the carburetor, then it doesn’t matter where to get his support and mood from.

Cheating is a serious step for a woman, and without affecting her soul, such things do not happen, and if it happened once on the train, then she will tell this story to her friends ten years later. Also important for a woman is the opinion of society, which condemns women's adultery much more than men's, and a married lady, in some places they can be persecuted. Therefore, deciding to have a relationship on the side, a woman will not take the initiative, but if everything is completely bad with her husband, she will not resist her seduction, acting in the eyes of a strict public court as a victim of a lack of husband’s love that fell into the hands of a seducer (men are to blame, and she clean).

The very concept of infidelity carries a different meaning, and your wife can cheat on you without ever touching another man. Turning a blind eye to such an emotional connection has become customary and many do not consider communication with men to be bad, but when a woman tells all the secrets to another, when she asks him for advice and is interested in how the day went, you lost her, and the question is when she will physically disappear It's a question of time. At the same time, intimacy with a stranger can cause a surge and indignation in a man, but for a woman it will not mean anything.

Female adultery is detrimental to a man's self-esteem and to the continuation of a relationship, tk. there is no lightness and thoughtlessness in it, it is always a serious event based on strong feelings (love for a new partner or for a former one). This frightening feature, however, gives hope, because the possibility of casual relationships is reduced, and the options for preventing at the initial stages or even preventing such a development of events are within the power of the interested spouse. A woman will not look around if her official relationship suits her in terms of the main defining moments for her.

Not a bad article.
Unfortunately went through it.
just divorced - his wife has two small children in her arms.
Do you know what I'm expecting? When a woman comes and falls at her feet, because self-esteem is hurt, and even if something did not suit her, then betrayal is not an option. For treason, the expectation is that a person will come with a confession and will defend with his actions.
However, for some reason it almost never happens, and the side that has changed has a reason for betrayal.
For some reason, the side that has changed is waiting for you to approach it and seek it. Where does this nonsense come from in the head of the changed side? due to the presence of resentment for this or that ....

Buddy, you're sorry, but the woman is your ordinary whore. Not because I changed, no. But because he continues to sleep with you, being in a relationship with another man. You are both cash cows for her and she has no real feelings for either of you. And the fact that this is the norm for her speaks of a complete moral decline. There is nothing worse. Think about whether you need such a woman next to you!? There are a lot of free girls and women around, and sometimes even with a child who lacks a strong shoulder nearby. And who are ready to GIVE you both warmth and fidelity and love, if you become their favorite and only. Do not stain your feelings and do not let anyone trample them. Live honestly, in harmony with yourself and with the person who is nearby, only this person should be loved by you and love you. And then the word betrayal or treason will never come between you.

Hello! My name is Andrey, 29 years old. Briefly about myself: a family man, without bad habits, I try to spend all my free time with my wife and daughter. He never cheated on his wife and never gave reasons.
My wife cheated on me, as I found out, it lasted six months. Of course, I noticed the initial stages, but I could not believe it. I naively trusted her. Once I could not stand it and got into the phone to my wife (for reference, this is not my characteristic feature). When asked what is it? She began to rely that these were all such jokes, in correspondence, she completely stood her ground. She also yelled at me, what a scoundrel I am and get along in someone else's phone. A couple of days later, I said that I talked with her boyfriend and he said that yes, they had everything (in fact, I did not talk to him). Here she confessed to everything. My state at that moment is difficult to describe in words. But I calmed down, thought it over, decided to talk to her. We talked almost all night. (She herself is a very uncommunicative and closed person) I learned so much where I made mistakes (if I knew all this before), after this conversation I seemed to fall in love with her all over again. But she already has mutual feelings for me, of course she doesn’t have any! I even forgave her, I say, let's start all over again. She says she doesn't want to be with me. And he doesn't hate me, and he doesn't love me either. I ask her how do you feel about me? She says indifference, although I understand her actions suggest otherwise. Now she has moved out to her parents, because. my apartment, I didn’t kick her out, it was her decision. She sometimes comes, cooks food for me, helps with the housework, we even have sex. She frankly treats me like a friend. In one of the conversations I ask, do you love him? She does not speak openly, but according to her words about him, it is obvious that she loves him. Although he does not reciprocate her, he is a womanizer by nature, she knows this, but still communicates with him.
p.s. This whole situation has changed me tremendously, I have changed for the better. mind his own appearance became even more active in sports. He became better in intimacy, in her words, almost her ideal. But she does not want to return, and I do not insist and do not ask her for this. Although here I am tormented by doubts, but maybe it is worth acting more actively!?
I don't know what to do with this relationship anymore!? I want to return it, but I don’t know how and whether the game is worth the candle!? Or maybe start building your life anew, with someone else!?
Please help me figure it out!

• Hello Andrei,

  After reading your story, I found a lot similar to mine.

  I have been in a civil marriage for eight years now (the last year I have been divorced)
  All these years, only my husband was the number 1 man, despite the fact that there were no supernatural feelings from the very beginning. He is not an emotional person, but a good family man, father, home, caring. But he’s not at all sensitive, not affectionate, and for seven years he has never uttered the word “I love you” and so on.

  Like your wife, I also fell in love with another man, with whom I first talked for a very long time because of a common hobby.
  When I realized that something was happening to me and I would soon be unable to resist everything, I tried to reach out to my common-law husband (in the 7th year!)
  No results. The turning point was when my direct question “Do you love me?” he replied "I don't know"...

  Then I no longer resisted the temptations and succumbed to feelings. To be honest, I even hoped that everything would pass soon, everything would cool down and maybe everything would work out with my husband.

  But unfortunately he was under hypnosis. He did not respond to all my "calls".

  I told him about everything myself, because I could not stand these torments. We went to see a psychologist.
  Somehow, after a couple of weeks, he even spat out this “I love you” from himself, but nothing else happened.

  He then overestimated everything, decided that although he made mistakes, I was to blame for the whole situation. That I subjected our entire family to...

  In general, almost 8 months after my confession, he is now moving out of our joint house.
  And for all this time there was not a single attempt to "bring" me back.
  And I wanted it so badly! I wanted him to fight for me at least now!
  I felt so unnecessary, so unloved ... And so I wanted to hear: “Nasten !!! Let's try it all over again! We will succeed! I will try!!! I realized everything, forgive me too! Let's! I love you very much and I cannot and do not want to live without you. I do not want to lose you! We will be happy"

  instead it was: “I already lost you. You love another. Why bother you? I spent everything I had on us, and now I'm standing with empty pockets. What will I tell my relatives?…” etc. In general, by, completely by ....

  And since he is not an active person, not proactive, he preferred not to do anything, so as not to receive a no in response.

  In general, Andrey, fight for your love, if you really love it more than anything in the world!!! Talk to her, show her! It is very important for women to know and feel loved, desired, in demand, like air.
  If her feelings have not completely cooled down, or maybe subsided for a while (from resentment, from disappointment, because of a new person ...), you can rekindle the fire.

  At least try! So that later you don’t blame yourself and don’t punish yourself.

  If my husband would immediately take the bull by the horns and begin to act purposefully and persistently, talk to me about everything, maybe take me downstairs to spend time with me at an intense level!, then probably everything would not have gone so far as it is now .
  Because at first I also thought that my new chosen one, well, not a womanizer, but he is not deprived of female attention. But he also fell in love with me like a boy. Now he and I do not want to cause any harm or pain. Everything is going exactly the way I always wanted. On an emotional level. How everything will be in everyday life - time will tell.

  But with him (so far) nothing else connects me except for feelings. No children, no housing, no teamwork or business. We have only one great hobby together - and this is no small matter for the relationship.

  And therefore, there is a game going on - who is "stronger"!

  I wish you good luck!!! Happiness and patience! All this is rewarded!

  Hello. I don’t know if my comment will be relevant after a long time, but I want to speak out. I am very lonely and very fixated on a similar issue. My name is Alexey. About myself: a family man, earner, with higher education, no bad habits. For all the time, the relationship with his wife, NEVER changed and did not give a reason. I want children, madly ... And so in 2008 I met my wife. In 2010, I caught my first betrayal. She dated my classmate. I accidentally saw the correspondence. They had a S..s. in a couple of days. Scandal followed. She tried to open the veins. I have forgiven. The next attempt at treason is 2011. The applicant is a friend of her sister. I, too, seem to have done it. And s..s, probably did not take place. The next attempt crushed me to smithereens. I literally felt the blows of the knives. 2015 Treason with my friend. Lasted several months. I don't know if it was s..s or. At that time we fought a lot. She constantly clung to trifles. She was very cold. And once again quarreled, I left the house. The next day, I think I'll sit near her entrance, I look. After 40 minutes, I saw my friend Eduard there with flowers. He saw me, ran like a coward. You can't describe what was going on inside of me. I don't wish anyone. I lived alone for a couple of weeks. Scandals followed, reproaches against me, and complete humiliation of me as a man. My friends are a company of 8 people, turn their backs on me. In the same company, one of the friends was especially important. They called him Glory. I did a lot for him and loved him like a brother. Honestly, I am writing - I am 32 years old ... and there are tears in my eyes. I would give a lot for him, just like that. And this Slavik knew about the betrayal of my wife and was silent. He drank, ate in my house, took my cars, borrowed money, called me BROTHER. — AND SILENT. In this company, there was a friend with whom we were not best friends but he is the only one who supported me. It was he who prevented me from doing terrible things - which crossed my mind. At that time, my wife became simply insane. It is necessary to tell a little about me in this group of friends. Basically, I am a leader. I have always organized everything. I collected everyone. And he helped everyone. In addition to my work, he was spinning a lot, and achieved a lot. My friend Eduard (32 years old) is the exact opposite of me. I'm athletic, blond. He is a pear-shaped, balding Jew. By itself, a lack of initiative, lazy, a person living with his mother. What to say about him ... if he had a loan of 500 bucks for 2 years at that time. He, bastard, stirs up in secret with my wife. And he asks me for money to close the fine. Here's something. WHAT AM I? I forgave her again. Why? Because I love. You know? I did a lot of different business, and everyone says that if you are a successful businessman, then you are not a decent person. Maybe it's about me. But in relation to relatives, friends - I am SINCERE and HONEST. I never left anyone in a difficult moment, and did not refuse help .... At the end of 2015, after 7 civil marriage I proposed to my wife. In 2016 they got married. Now we live together. I love her too, but there is no trust. Now everything seems to be fine ... but! Strained with intimacy. She does it like a robot, while not particularly bothering. There are no children. So far it doesn't work. But she doesn't work for it. Now lately, it has become difficult to communicate again. Misunderstandings, presentations and skirmishes. Constantly biting me. And the same thing, "I'm bored," she says. You are not a romantic. Yes. I have to admit, I'm not a romantic. For me, it is much more important to feed her, clothe her, monitor her health. Go on vacation with her, furnish an apartment, buy her a car. What she recently said. “You bought me a car so I could earn more…”

Hello! I am 32 years. A few years ago I met married man(he was divorced but lived with his wife). They broke up a few times. After each break, time passed, he appeared again in my life. He said that he loves, I threw everything and everyone, and met him again. But as soon as I again plunged headlong into him, he said that he could not promise me anything at the moment. I kept hoping for something, waiting. This happened three times and lasted for several years. My psyche couldn't take it. The last parting was even harder. There was absolute apathy for everything. I have lost faith in men. A year after breaking up with him, I met a guy, as it seemed to me, I fell in love. We understood each other from half a word from half a glance. I start a sentence, he continues. In general, everything is wonderful. And then the ex shows up. He says that he left his wife, he wants to be with me. I say that I am in a relationship, and I don’t believe him anymore, although somewhere in my subconscious I was waiting for actions from him that would achieve me. There are no actions. I am getting married, giving birth to a baby (he is now six months old). Start with husband constant quarrels because of everything. Not only do we not read each other's thoughts, but even if we explain in words, we do not understand. We fight constantly. She stopped feeling like a woman with him. We began to communicate less, intimacy is rare, courtship and compliments are zero. I developed an inferiority complex. I decided to go with my child to my parents in another city for a week, and I meet my ex there. Word for word, everything flashes again. A couple of days ago, I slept with him. It turns out that he returned to his wife again, allegedly because of his daughter, and he doesn’t know what to do now. He says that you need to think everything over before taking a decisive step, but for now he offers to just meet. But I catch myself thinking that he again deceived me. From the moment we met him, I was tormented by guilt that I was cheating on and betraying my husband (even before the sex happened). The feeling of guilt intensifies, it does not go out of my head that I betrayed him. I don't know which one I love or if I love them at all. I would like to continue to stay with the baby with their parents, but I understand that this cannot go on forever and we must somehow decide how to proceed. I have a cry for help for you!
Please help me find the right solution and understand myself. I feel helpless and confused. I'm sorry if I expressed it too vaguely.

• • Good afternoon! Thanks for the reply and interesting articles! You write, do not support quarrels. But I no longer know how to communicate with my husband. When I try to tell him something that I miss his attention, I need help, I want to communicate, etc., he does not perceive hints. I repeat after a while again, again no results. As a result, I break down and start to tell him, and he tells me that you can’t say normally, you just saw me. When I propose to discuss the problem and find a solution together, he again perceives all my statements as accusations and reproaches. Therefore, I no longer know how to discuss something sore with him, because in any case I will remain guilty. How to communicate, so as not to hear that I am a chainsaw, but also to solve the problem? I am with the child all day and I want to communicate with him. We used to be able to chat until the middle of the night, but now he comes and clicks the TV remote and says he's tired. And the fact that I'm tired, does not see. I tried to praise him, to show how important it is that he is with me, how I feel good with him, but all this is one-sided. He won't praise me for anything, he won't notice that I'm tired. It scares me that our communication is reduced to nothing. I start to delve into myself, what is wrong with me? How to find a compromise with your husband?

    • Vika, do you want to improve relations with your husband? Start "feeding" him emotionally - adding positive emotional strokes without demanding anything for yourself in return. Start making compliments yourself, give smiles, help, praise, say words that emphasize the importance of this person. Only in this way you will achieve the goal of being desired. Breaking loose and expressing what is sore is a losing tactic.
      “I am with the child all day and I want to communicate with him. We used to be able to chat until the middle of the night." - Men are so arranged that their talkativeness manifests itself during courtship or when a woman is interesting to him. Expand your social circle, do not focus only on your spouse.

Modern trends of equalizing men and women, bright flashes of feminism, have borne fruit. If ancient customs and religious traditions allowed the unfaithful spouse to be stoned to death, now women's infidelities are on the same footing with men's, and have long ceased to be a reason for surprise. Why do women cheat on men? What are the causes of female infidelity?

Before turning to the individual reasons for the emergence of desire in a woman ““, you need to pay attention to the social reason. Modern society has long lost individual human values: the value of the family, fidelity, mutual understanding and respect. Therefore, now treason is not a reason for censure or guilt. On the other hand, each specific female betrayal occurs in conjunction with individual causes and life circumstances. Finding out the reasons why a woman cheats on a man is possible only when studying a specific situation. However, do not forget that there are still patterns - the reasons that underlie female infidelity.

The main reasons for female infidelity

The expression “be patient, fall in love” does not always have an implementation in life. without much desire, without love, or just because "it's high time" can play a cruel joke. It is difficult to live with a person who was initially not interesting, not loved, and most importantly not desirable. A woman, of course, begins to change. At the same time, betrayal can be regular, and even become a reason for. It is quite another matter if, under all circumstances, a woman is dependent on her husband, these are common children, material dependence. In this case, the woman tries to encrypt, but the frequency of cheating does not change. With such a development of events, a woman prefers communication with a permanent lover who will meet all her unfulfilled requirements in marriage.

At its core, nymphomania is an uncontrollable constant sexual desire that occurs in a woman. characterized by hypersexuality, constant physiological dissatisfaction. And yes, such women also manage to get married. However, physiological and psychological features nymphomaniacs do not disappear even after marriage. In this case, change is inevitable. A nymphomaniac is not able to satisfy one man, she is constantly looking for new sensations on the side. In this case, our answer to the question lies on the surface.

The nymphomaniac is in constant search. Sexual attraction in such a woman can arise at any time, even to an unfamiliar man. Cheating is frequent, partners are constantly different. At the same time, a woman is absolutely not interested in the inner world of a person, eye color and the presence of higher education. The only goal is sexual satisfaction. In this case, the man is absolutely not to blame and is not the cause of the woman. However, he is unlikely to be able to help his wife on his own. A nymphomaniac needs outside help from a specialist psychologist and sex therapist.

Incorrect

A husband who cheats on his wife, sooner or later, also runs the risk of getting into her place. For a long time, a woman may not be aware of her husband's infidelities, then she begins to notice changes in his behavior, and, in the end, they learn about her mistress. At the same time, one type of women begins to suffer, others go on a diet and begin to actively engage in themselves, and the third begins to change. Under these circumstances, the reason that a woman cheats on a man can be both banal revenge and real sexual dissatisfaction and psychological exhaustion.
Revenge will be expressed in connection with a more successful, handsome and worthy man. That's what revenge is for. A woman asserts herself and proves to herself that she is no worse than her rival and can attract the attention of a more worthy man. Under such circumstances, treason is one-time and is needed only for show.

On the other hand, a woman can begin to change when there is a real need. The husband is carried away by his mistress, does not spend the night at home, does not take care of his wife, sex happens once a month. Of course, in this case, a woman has a direct need for sex and male attention. A woman begins to change systematically, her husband ceases to interest her, attraction to another man can easily develop into strong feelings. Eventually, the marriage will fall apart.

The beginning of relationships and family life is always overflowing with romance, constant gifts and joint vacations. But after many years life together all feelings are dulled, passion disappears, sexual attraction to a partner practically disappears. The husband ceases to amaze. He stays late at work, prefers to rest without his wife in the company of his friends. Any attempts by the spouse to make a pleasant surprise or surprise your husband fail. Complete mental exhaustion pushes a woman to cheat on a man. At the same time, even a work colleague who has long made small signs of attention can become her lover. A woman begins to accept them willingly, light flirting develops into a romance and a sexual relationship.

Husband is a loser

Love-match, family life has developed, but the constant routine and material need become an unbearable burden. The main income of the family is a woman. She may even be torn between two jobs, and her husband only talks about his failures and does not want to make any effort to change the situation. His constant complaints and tears become simply unbearable for a woman. She ceases to feel like a feminine and defenseless lady and becomes the breadwinner and the only support of the family.

Here on the horizon appears the wealthy and attractive, who is trying to attract attention. Such an object may well be the reason that a woman will begin to cheat on her husband. With him, for a long time she felt like a woman. Expensive gifts, flowers and signs of attention will begin to bribe, and the woman will commit adultery. Women's infidelity is always due to something, in contrast to the periodic fleeting male intrigues.

No matter how painful the topic of betrayal is, unfortunately, the topic of betrayal has been and remains relevant at all times. Many men, having learned about the betrayal of their wives, wonder why she did it? That is why, in this article we will talk about such an important topic as cheating on your wife.

Consider this issue in detail in order to understand the main reasons that push a woman to cheat.

The main question or essence of female infidelity

As one well-known author said: "A man's betrayal is a matter of momentary weakness (in most cases), but a wife's betrayal is a whole story." And this is so, in fact, cheating among the two sexes is very different, and above all, differences in the very motive for cheating.

Each female betrayal is individual and has its own reasons. Let's look at the more common causes one by one to get to the bottom of it.

1. If a woman cheats on a man, then in 95% of cases the reason is that her own man does not satisfy her. And this sphere includes all relationships: both physical and financial and psychological. And this is precisely the essence of the complexity of understanding the causes of female infidelity. That is, if a man does not work, then this can push a woman to cheat, if he works a lot and does not provide psychological intimacy, attention, does not satisfy the woman's need for communication, then this can push a woman to find all this from another. Therefore, they say that in happy relationship there is no room for change. Why? Because when people are happy, it means that they are satisfied in all areas.
2. A bad attitude from a man is also common cause for change. And it all starts with small misunderstandings. If a man constantly underestimates his woman, if he is rude to her, then such a relationship leads straight to the betrayal of his wife. After all, a woman can easily find a guy who will take care of her, provide signs of attention. In other words, he will give her what she does not get at home and what she needs so much.
3. No matter how strange it may sound, a wife's betrayal can be a simple cry, saying that she needs her husband's attention, wants him to hear her. After all, in a sense, it is the man who pushes his woman to betray: with his indifference. It is vital for women to feel wanted and loved. And when she does not feel this in a man, she looks for where she can "realize" herself.
4. A woman needs a man's shoulder and man's strength. And when her own husband is not a support for a woman, if a woman cannot rely on him, then this leads her to disappointment and betrayal.

If you look at these reasons, it becomes clear that cheating wife can be easily prevented. After all, it is enough to change your attitude towards her and she will not even have the thought of cheating.

How to recognize female infidelity

Regardless of gender, it is unpleasant for every person to be deceived and find out that he has been cheated on. Any betrayal affects a person, changing his whole life, regardless of gender. But there are differences in how the representatives of different sexes will react.

Women, having learned about the betrayal of their husband, begin to actively discuss it with their friends, even with neighbors, go into details and the like. While men, having convicted their wives of treason, do everything to hide this fact.

However, it often happens that men have doubts. And in this case, he can easily recognize his wife's infidelity, as there are certain signs that indicate infidelity. Below are the most common signs that a woman is cheating.

To find out if your wife is cheating on you, then you should first of all observe her behavior. Of course, the best conversation is to your liking, when the wife herself admits this to her husband. Since there is no room for conjecture and fantasy. But, unfortunately, if you look at the statistics, then only two percent of women admit to cheating. Therefore, you need to learn to recognize the signs of infidelity. Naive men mistakenly believe that the first sign of infidelity is drastic changes woman's mood. And when your wife's mood begins to change dramatically during the day, and if your wife becomes either joyful or sad, then men begin to have doubts. But in fact, in itself this is not a sign of infidelity, since the mood of women can change for any reason. So, consider these signs that tell you that your marital happiness is in jeopardy.

1. A woman changes, a dreamy expression appears in her eyes, and she herself becomes distant, mysterious and mysterious. When a woman cheats, then in the first place she already has another man and thoughts about him cannot but change her behavior, words and even her smile.
2. A change in image can also become a sign, especially for those women who previously did not particularly look after themselves. When in a woman's life appears new man, then she begins to take care of herself and this cannot go unnoticed by her husband. If your wife suddenly began to go to the gym, to fitness and is changing right before our eyes, then it's time to think, but for whom is she trying so hard? After she loses weight and becomes fit, of course, she “will have to” update her wardrobe. AND new hairstyle, manicure, will definitely indicate that she desperately wants to impress her lover.
   
3. Irritability of a woman - when a woman gets tired of the routine of family affairs, she begins to look for adventures outside the home, and when she finds it, she is distracted from a new relationship in order to do household chores, her husband and children, it already becomes torture for her. This is where her irritability and unwillingness to go about her usual business come from. A woman begins to spend more time in solitude with her laptop or mobile phone. But there are also cases when a woman behaves the other way around: realizing and feeling guilty, she tries in every possible way to please her family, turning into a caring and friendly mother and wife. Many men are confused by this. They begin to think that everything is fine with them. But in fact, this is just an attempt to hide their betrayal.
4. The next wake-up call is the wife's phone, which is always with her, and social networks, messages are always hidden supposedly by accident. She changes passwords like in the social. networks, and on the phone, and all the time it will try to hide the phone.
   
5. Another sign that your wife is cheating on you is her frequent problems. best friend to which she must always run. Here the reservations can be very different, whether it is necessary to sit with the children of a friend, help her with housework and all that. Yes, and every day you hear about this friend, although in fact she may not even communicate with your wife. She just became an excuse for meeting with her lover. That is why, if you hear once again that she needs to help her friend out again, then you can just visit this very friend to put all the dots on the i.
6. The wife has more and more "things" at work that make her stay there longer than usual. Or at work, she begins frequent corporate parties, business trips, etc. In these cases, there is such a pattern: a woman comes home in a good mood, but her mood at home quickly deteriorates due to trifles. This item also includes all kinds of courses and trainings that she should attend.
7. When a woman begins to criticize you, compare you with others, naturally not in favor of her husband. And the very attitude towards you has changed dramatically, she no longer wants to spend time with you together as before. He is not interested in you, your work and does not talk about his affairs, work. Such a withdrawal is a clear sign that there is another man in your wife’s life with whom she shares everything. This can include the fact that a woman does not want to go somewhere with you: both relatives and friends. And even if her husband wants to meet her after work, she can find thousands of reasons not to let him do it.
8. When your wife, suddenly, no longer argues and asks to fix the door or the faucet. Believe me, this is not a reason for joy, because if she is no longer nervous about such trifles as scattered things around the apartment, an unrepaired faucet or handle, then she already has indifference to you. Unfortunately, most men do not understand this and do not perceive this sign as alarming.
9. Unanswered calls, and there are a lot of excuses here. And of course, these are just suggestions.
10. A woman cannot stand your gaze. Meeting her husband's gaze, she hurries to avoid it and gets angry.
11. One of the most obvious signs is the refusal and irritability of any bodily contact. Hugs, kisses or sex - it's all in the past. And when the husband begins to show his indignation, then he simply invites him to have a mistress. Yes, and sex itself (when it happens) is very different. A woman's behavior can be very different, she can offer to use sex toys, different roles, etc.
12. When a woman is not afraid to lose her husband, family, she does not seek to compromise, then you need to think about what's wrong.

These are the main symptoms by which you can easily recognize treason. And, as everyone can see, cheating changes relationships. And no woman can hide her behavior, no matter how hard she tries.

Thinking out loud

Change is something that changes a person's life. It affects all areas of his life, destroys the family, undermines trust and leaves a mark for life. It's very hard to trust people after you've been betrayed.

However, as we have already found out, you can learn about treason by special signs. Most importantly, remember that you will need patience so as not to prematurely blame your wife and start to sort things out with her.

Often a change in a wife's behavior is a signal that she is bored and wants something new. If your relationship with a woman is dear to you, having seen these signs in her behavior, you need to change the nature of the relationship, bring something new and bright to them.

Do not forget, a woman needs constant attention from a man, otherwise she will look for it elsewhere. And believe me, she will be able to find it if she wants to.