Moved in from my wife. The man left the other girl for me. Why is it good to be a mistress
He left his wife for me.
He left his wife for me.
Now we have been together for a year, an unprecedented situation, "the husband went to his mistress", a real miracle. I'm happy with him and I see him too. But the situation with his ex-wife still haunts me. I can’t forgive her for her methods, her accusations, when the facts show that she is no better than me: she also got a man in marriage, what she used against him, because. I wanted to get the whole apartment, and not the legal 2/3, these reproaches that he ruined everything, and this was when he offered me to remain friends!! It saddens me that all her girlfriends feel sorry for her, as if she had suffered (although I think she was ill for a while, self-esteem still probably fell: I am blonde, pretty pretty, 7 years younger, educated and without problems with housing) . But after all, it was also bad for me that I could not be with the one I love, I felt uneasy that I touched a stranger, albeit not ideally happy, but a family. She positions herself as the happiest now (which I can see from social networks), and I seem to have no right to happiness, because I am a "lover". Who will comment on my situation?
Re: Confessions of former mistresses of married men
But I want to say something else, or rather ask: please. those who wrote their stories here half a year ago and more - write how your life turned out, did you manage to get out of this nightmare and become happy without this dirt? For us, who are now in such a situation, this is very important. to find the strength to overcome and stop all this and start building new life. I love and hug you all.
Why do men leave their mistresses and return to their wives
The triangle of relationships will not lose its relevance: husband, wife, mistress. A favorite plot of romantic works, films and various kinds of manuals is “how to discourage men from going to their mistresses”, “to take away the beloved from his wife”. Ladies on opposite sides of the barricades regularly return to the question.
What is more important to HIM: feelings or habit?
It is difficult to overestimate the determination of women in the struggle for a man. Mistresses seek to take away, wives to keep. Luck is more often on the side of the latter - men return. Men rarely listen to feelings. For the sake of mistresses, they are not in a hurry to put at stake their usual life, “long bored”. What is the reason for strong attachment to the hearth?
From childhood, mothers instill in the girls an unchanging truth: falling in love with a married man, you won’t get rid of grief, and you won’t take him away from the family. Relationships like this cause public condemnation. But you can’t argue with the well-known axiom “you can’t command your heart”. Before last girl do not lose hope for the departure of a married man from the family.
Below we want to give 3 true stories about the departure of husbands from their wives and the subsequent return.
Disappointment in life
Tatyana told her friend that she fell head over heels in love with a wonderful man. But there was a problem: he is married and has a 17-year-old daughter. According to her, “the problem is solvable,” I’m sure she will be able to take the married man away. Tatyana did not pay attention to the skeptical attitude of her friend, repeating the mistake of a thousand women.
Friends of Dmitry (the name of the beloved) claimed: Tanya's rival did not have the best character, happiness in the family was gone. And the daughter is grown. Tatyana believed that after a 20-year marriage, love ended. And my wife is much older.
Tatyana was lucky: Dmitry left the family, but the joy did not last long.
6 months after the wedding, she began to worry and suspect the presence of a mistress. Dmitry came home late, relations have not changed for the better. I got used to the idea that a man who has once changed will continue to change.
But the ex-wife turned out to be a rival. Dmitry explained that his wife and daughter needed help with household chores, not strangers. Tatyana calmed down - the reason is "excusable". Over time, the relationship changed for the worse.
And one day Dmitry admitted that he could not stand it without his home and relatives. Tatyana got angry and screamingly offered to return to the former, in the depths of her soul repeating "it's not going anywhere." What happened surprised and upset: the beloved packed up and left.
Subsequently, he made excuses - Tatyana is better ... but his wife - dear, like a sister and mother, cannot be deleted from life. Most importantly, I got used to homemade food and evening tea with lemon.
Mistresses are sure that the main task is to take a man away from the old family and create a new one. But not so easy. Practice shows: it is harder to keep someone else's husband nearby. According to statistics, 70 men out of 100 who left the family return. Household changes are scary. At first they are held by passion. Passion decreases, and an indefatigable longing for the former home wakes up.
No matter how much effort the mistress puts in, she will remain second and will not create similar living conditions: a different person, with different foundations and habits. Let the new wife be better than the former, but it will not work to provide a similar comfort. household habits - main reason why men return to the family.
Pregnancy manipulation
At the age of 28, Aleksey met a young beautiful girl of 19 years old named Svetlana. He was in civil marriage with a woman of the same age. But, according to him, there was no extraterrestrial love. And I couldn't have a baby.
A week later, Svetlana and Alexei began a wild romance. The salary is small, but he gave a new lover expensive gifts and gorgeous flowers. In the end, he promised to soon confess to his common-law wife.
After a year, the recognition did not take place. Alexey found a bunch of excuses. This forced Svetlana to take extreme measures. Stopped taking birth control pills. And, of course, after a while she told her beloved about the pregnancy.
Confidence in Alexei's joyful reaction did not leave for a second - he dreamed of a child. But it turned out the other way around. He promised - he would help, but he would not leave his common-law wife, he would not make her unhappy.
Only 5% of men are able to leave the family. The strong sex of the concept of "love" and "marriage" shares. Women don't share. loving woman becomes everything - both wife and mistress, and best friend. For men, "Love" is intimacy and entertainment, not a life together. Marriage is a life, familiar and ordinary. They do not consider it necessary to divorce for the sake of new love and break the established way of life.
The male habit stronger than love. They always say to their mistresses - “they will leave forever”, but more often they lie. And Svetlana was wrong in the way. Practice shows that men do not leave families for the sake of a child on the side, but they are able to exemplarily fulfill their father's duties.
possessive instinct
Victor married early, at the age of 20, and not out of great love. The beloved married another, and the girl who “consoled” unexpectedly became pregnant. Young people signed, twins were born. At a meeting of classmates, I met my previous love, Irina. By that time, she had been divorced twice.
Of course, the old feelings flared up. We started dating. Julia's wife guessed, but at first she preferred not to pay attention. As a result, Irina insisted on a divorce and relocation. Victor did just that. Surprisingly, the current wife did not resist.
I went to the old house to talk with my beloved children and help. One day I came across a stranger who sympathized ex-wife. And feelings played, gave a dressing to the ex-wife. But I got the expected answer. Julia reminded - he left, left.
To the surprise of both parties, Victor told Irina that he agreed to remain exclusively a lover and returned to his family.
No matter how prosaic, but a sense of ownership in men in the blood. They have every right to have lovers, but former halves should not even think about new relationships. It often happens that husbands return to ex-wives learning about the existence of an outsider.
The stronger sex has different requirements for his wife and mistress, the first must remain faithful, and the mistress must be beautiful.
Some advice for wives
- According to experts, a man will go to his mistress only if there is a long-standing discord in the family, and if a new hobby is just an excuse. He is unlikely to leave you until the situation is fully launched.
- It is useful to force a husband to spend a lot of time on his family, then there will be no strength left for adventures with his mistress. He will stay with you, so familiar.
- And do not throw tantrums to a man who is about to leave. It is better to provide comfort, and he will not change his mind.
- Men's craving for property can play into your hands - cause jealousy.
Men are lazy by nature... even if any FF is there, it's unlikely to leave...
Some love with others just sleep so it was and will be girls.
I agree. They leave problems, but they are mistaken that where they went, there are fewer of them. They run and come running. But there are also such proud cadres, they know that the family is better, but they don’t return! They just can’t humiliate themselves, but I think if they love, they will agree to all conditions! I told my ex “how will you crawl back, don’t erase your knees” ?? it bit him, although now he constantly remembers and regrets me, but pride does not allow him to return. This is just such a type of man!
And why do abandoned wives accept the “departed”? Also out of habit? Is it easier to accept the "old" with the famous "cockroaches" than to embark on a new voyage? But in vain.
I would never take the person who betrayed me back. Not because I can't forgive. I can. And I would forgive, but continue life together would not. After all, in order to prevent betrayal from happening again, you need, first of all, to change something in yourself. But I don’t want to - I like myself with all my advantages and disadvantages. And it’s not so easy to change yourself, are the efforts justified?
A man will never leave his beloved wife, they leave only when they no longer love, to be honest, if husbands returned to their ex-wives, then at least one of my acquaintances would be married
I probably only know one case when the husband returned back to the family from another woman, and then, he lived there for 2 weeks and returned, I have not seen such cases again and I don’t know this from stories about famous people
They usually leave and don't come back.
not returned because wives do not take back)
All stories are from life. But there is one more, mine: a friend from the age of 18 was in the status of a mistress. She spent five years on a lover ... then she got tired, she found a young and unmarried man. Essssno, when the lover found out about the new passion of his beloved, he was furious, but ... lagged behind ... My friend, after four years, broke up with an unmarried friend .. The next applicant was also young and unmarried, but for some reason she did not like him ... While my life unfolded rapidly, with a girlfriend - silence .... I already started to worry about her, will she stay too long in the girls?? But two years ago I found out that she was dating a man. Who is this? Aaaah, this is our first ex-lover…. she is divorced during the adventures of my girlfriend. Now they live together. Soul to soul. She didn’t really expect him, but subconsciously, probably, yes ... And he, too, decided to get a divorce, and his beloved is free. Here! Everything happens in life and no one bred anyone, but in the end, together
I left my husband. Then she met a man who had a family, a wife, a son. I decided that this man should be mine, period. I slept with him. I didn't care about his family, I only thought about myself. She moved with him to Krasnodar from Bratsk. I got a job at his company. But he is still with his wife. His friends constantly humiliate me and call me a whore. But I don't leave the firm, I don't care how his friends treat me, I have a goal and I'm going to it.
Tatyana will return everything to you - no one has canceled the boomerang. He is a strange husband, you are breaking up a family. You will not be happy with this man. And you do not love him, this is clear from your message ..
I probably would never break up someone else's family. Because I myself have been in this situation. It's very hard to go through all this. My husband has a mistress and this is when I'm pregnant. Very hard. Now there is no mistress, but I still cannot forgive him. I'm thinking about divorce.
And my husband sent me to the village with my children six months ago, supposedly to earn money and promote a business! As a result, 5 months later, I find out that he has been having an affair with a 23-year-old girl all this time! I am 27, he will be 30, we have children a year and 2.6 years old (girls) and he told me by phone that he does not love me and never loved me, together 6 years in marriage 5; says he loves her madly; lived in my apartment; enjoyed even komunalka not paid! Now I have returned home with the children, he lived with us for a couple of days and said that he could not step over himself, he went to her! They plan to remove kV but there is no money! They live with their mother-in-law in the country! He promised to come to help with the children every day, we see him once a week, if we're lucky! Of course, if he comes, I’ll forgive him and I’ll never remember it for him, but this is today, I’m not sure that in a month I will also shield! He was the initiator to file for divorce, a court was appointed on June 16, 2016!
Three days ago, the man with whom I lived for three months returned to his wife. He was the sole initiator of our relationship. He didn’t say anything, as soon as he didn’t call his wife. He said that he wanted to get rid of her, that he had not had a close relationship with her for many years, that he was all alone. That all my life I dreamed of someone like me, etc. and so on. I suggested that he rent an apartment, live alone, think about what to do next. But he wanted to be with me! They began to live together in a rented apartment. I felt very good with him! I did not expect that such happiness will be in my life! But happiness did not last long. His wife called him, at first cursed, then cried, asked to return. He assured that he did not know how to get rid of her. She did not work, she lived at his expense. At the same time, he managed to arrange for her both an apartment and a cottage. It turned out that he had nothing at all. She kept asking for money, and he had to pay rent. He kept discussing with me that his wife was telling him that he would definitely return to her and asked me in bewilderment: why, I wonder, did she decide so? He assured that she had not been interested in him for a long time, as a woman, and he wanted to divorce her. But she does not want to spoil the relationship, because everything is designed for her. Gradually, I began to feel that he was beginning to be burdened by his position: life in a rented apartment, a vague prospect ... And hatred for his wife was replaced by pity for her. He began to visit her often at the dacha, a couple of times he did not come to spend the night under various pretexts. The third time, when he did not come, he stopped answering calls and SMS. And in the morning she wrote that everything was fine with him. But by that time I had already packed my things and left him. I didn’t want to be a homemaker, I’m not ready for this role at all. The initiative to leave his wife was exclusively his! I remember what he said three months ago, and I am completely at a loss. How could an adult change his position in such a short time? Maybe I'm naive, but I'm terrified! Perhaps, of course, his feelings for me began to fade ... But why was it necessary to first say such nasty things about his wife, and then so easily return to her. She went a couple of weeks ago to her homeland in Ukraine. The feeling that she bewitched him there .... Although most likely, in addition to love and romance, there are also property interests. As they say, everything was ruined by the housing issue. And they just knocked the ground out from under my feet. Everything was like in a dream, this meeting, these relationships, full of happiness and love, which inspired me! And such a banal ending. Nauseous!
I had a relationship for almost 4 months, I was married to my husband, I never had cheating with my husband for 9 years, but when I met my lover, the earth went out from under my feet, he literally fell in love with me, he said how he loves, what a beauty and all that ... we spent time every free minute, but, at one fine moment, he did not delete love correspondence and, naturally, his wife read, scandals, tears, she left him, he was lost, he didn’t need anything except her, of course, she returned, but our relationship practically ceased , I told me not to fall, I promised my wife that I would never communicate with you ... despite the fact that I myself wanted to sincerely help them reconcile (((it's a shame that with all this I became unnecessary, he left me 3 times and I wrote to him called ( ((disgusting from myself ... even had a few meetings after, but he just didn’t get up!
A married man left me
Indeed, why do men have mistresses? After all, it often happens that in the family, at first glance, everything is fine - and the wife is beautiful, and the house is clean, and the children are healthy, but the husband still goes to the left. The worst thing is that it is difficult to surprise anyone with this phenomenon these days, because this happens all the time. Although every woman sincerely believes that such a problem will never affect her family, it can happen to any of us. But if the trouble has also touched you, then you should not arrange scenes worthy of Mexican TV shows - such behavior will only exacerbate the problem and can lead either to an unwanted divorce, or to the fact that the husband on the side will seek understanding and peace. Here you will be helped by consultations of a psychologist who will help you return your husband to the family, avoiding quarrels and scandals.
Any psychologist at the consultation will explain to you that there are several reasons for male infidelity. The most common one is desire to diversify your life, bring fire, excitement, passion into it. Also, the reason may be the loss of sexual attraction to the spouse, banal curiosity, the desire to prove something to someone (for example, to friends who often brag about their love affairs). Often affects a man bad Education or an unsuccessful model of behavior that his father showed him in early childhood. Sometimes the cause of infidelity is alcohol. And, in the end, the influence of television, the Internet and other media.
There are several main reasons why a man takes a mistress, and in each of the situations you should act differently.
At the first place Causes of betrayal, according to psychologists, is the desire to diversify your life. The fact is that most men do not have as much libido as they would like to show it, so they are looking for a change of sensations. At the same time, the wife always stands apart for them, one might say, in the first place.
Such men, as a rule, make good money, are active, look after their appearance, like to impress and do not like to talk about their problems. They do not like alcohol, and there is not much time for it - they give all their time to work and save money. But they somehow need to relieve stress, so they acquire mistresses. True, they need them exclusively "for health."
But the trouble is that there is practically nothing that can be done about these betrayals. If you start to put pressure on your spouse, he will change so that you will not be able to find out about it. Here the choice is yours, whether you want to be with such a man or not. But remember ideal people It just doesn't happen, everyone has their flaws. True, this type has many advantages: in the first place they always have a spouse, home, comfort and happiness of the household, they love their children very much.
In second place worth betrayal because of resentment. Such betrayals, as a rule, are committed by men who are slow, thorough. Since for this type of man, the family is the most sacred, then only his wife can push him to treason with his extremely disrespectful attitude.
For example, a woman may often refuse intimacy or make fun of various details of her personal life with relatives or girlfriends. In this case, the husband strives to prove to himself and to the whole world at the same time that he is not some kind of rag, but a real man.
If you really love your spouse and want to be with him, you should radically adjust your behavior, give him the warmth, care and love that he needs so much. It is not appropriate to give free rein to pride, because this will only make you worse. A consultation with a psychologist will help you save your family in such a difficult situation.
On the third place Among the causes of male infidelity is alcohol. In this case, you need to act immediately and decisively, because such behavior can very quickly become a habit of a man, and then it will be quite difficult to change anything. This is where you should apply all your severity - arrange a boycott and not talk, make his life unbearable. And you can not be afraid to overdo it, because you need to stop the betrayal of the faithful once and for all. So feel free to use the entire arsenal of female "torture".
In no case should you let go of cheating on him! This may end up with the fact that a man, seeing your calmness, will behave unforgivably arrogantly. As a result, a more determined and less delicate lady will lead him away.
Whatever the reason for the betrayal of your faithful, remember that this is not a reason to destroy your marriage. Seek advice from a psychologist, and he will definitely help you solve the problem without unnecessary quarrels and scandals. Take care of your family and relationships with your soulmate.
“And after 60 I need a man.” How to establish a personal life in retirement, says a psychologist
Our reader writes that she failed to build a happy and long relationship in her youth. But even now, although she has been retired for several years, she wants to find a worthy companion. How to establish a personal life after 60, says a psychologist.
Losing a loved one is easy, but returning an emotional connection or finding an equally strong new one is not an easy task. Perhaps you should not be heroic and try to deal with a problem that seems unsolvable to you. We offer you professional help from psychologists from the Center for Successful Relationships.
You send us your story, and we publish it with expert comments. In order for us to better understand the essence of the problem, please send the most detailed (of course, as far as it is appropriate for you personally) stories. And we will do our best to bring good mood, harmony and peace back to your home. Anonymity of letters is guaranteed.
We are waiting for your letters at the address To ensure that your letter is not lost, please indicate "My Story" in the subject line of the letter.
- Hello! I am 63 years old. Born in a wealthy, intelligent family of a scientist and a doctor. Grandpa was a general. Since childhood, everyone was banned and beaten for the slightest bad grade, they didn’t let me go anywhere, they kept track of who I communicate with. She loved to read, to dream alone in the dacha in the attic, she studied well. She got married for the first time, as her father insisted, after the death of her mother. The first husband was an alcoholic. Lived for six months. The second time she married on the advice of her father's parents. He was very good, handsome, kind, intelligent, candidate of sciences. He was very seriously ill from childhood ...
She lived with her second husband for less than 5 years. At the age of 33 she became a widow, from this marriage there was a son. The 90s broke out, the financial situation deteriorated sharply - she lost everything, was in debt and starved. When I was 42, a friend of my youth found me, and after some hesitation I started dating him (he was married), because physically I needed a man very much and I thought that he would save me from difficulties.
It was thought that it would help with the upbringing of my son (I was and am too soft-hearted). At the age of 44, working a lot, she got a job in a prestigious organization, and at the age of 45 she was again left without a man. this married man left his family for a very young woman, and not for me.
Depression set in and was treated. I met a man so that I could have someone to get out of this state ... Neither I had a serious feeling, nor he. But he had a good character, an optimist. At the age of 45, he lived with his mother, who had a large pension, did not work anywhere for a long time, was very greedy - obscenely. I perceived him like this: since there is no good man, then you need to meet for health (like a pill). I broke off relations with him for 4 years.
And when I was sent to retire, I began to meet with him again to fill the resulting vacuum. Although I saw many shortcomings in him, I thought that the relationship with him would improve over time. A year ago, she raised the issue of cohabitation, to which he said that family life does not plan. It offended me. I moved in March to live in a dacha, because my son is an adult and wants to live separately.
Since that time, this man has been writing messages to me on Viber, but he doesn’t call or come, he doesn’t invite me to his place. He never came to my dacha, although he constantly said “maybe”. How can I meet someone else a good man? I won’t say that I was drawn to live with someone (to wash, clean, etc.), I have enough care for my son and myself. But I would like a sincere, real relationship with a good man. Men in photographs on the Internet do not like. It's not true that after 60 you don't need a man! Needed, but I want to communicate beautiful, interesting, kind and mutually respectful!
Psychologist's comment:
— Your story developed classically. It all started with childhood traumas, which you described in full. We see strict prohibitions, violence, restrictions. All this did not give you the opportunity to learn how to cope with difficulties, have a point of view and gain experience. And this is necessary for choosing a partner.
In your case, the choice of a companion was based on the opinion of the parents, and when they were gone, on a random or partial choice.
One of the most important tasks of the girl's period (as "social status") is to know yourself and learn how to choose men. If the choice is justified and based on a sufficient number of criteria, this for the most part guarantees satisfaction with the relationship. The main thing is to support and build them.
Your personal choice was based only on the criteria of "optimism" or "external attractiveness", but, as experience has shown, this is extremely insufficient for building strong relationships.
Unfortunately, the significant characteristics of your men were "alcoholic, unhealthy man, married man, immature, mother-dependent man." The basis of the relationship was only your hopes. There was no clear idea of how to build relationships, what you want to receive from them, what you need, what you deserve. And the foundation of all this was a huge lack of self-confidence and lack of experience.
The experience is passed down from older women to girls when they become girls. They don’t always talk about it, they just behave like worthy, self-confident, happy women.
If you are left without such experience, you will have to develop it yourself. So far, there are only errors in your letter, but draw the right conclusions from them, and this will become your experience. You just need to use it to your advantage.
Your hopes are the germ of confidence. They must acquire a clear support and formulation in the form of criteria and requirements.
For example, if you are an intelligent person, then you have every right to choose an intelligent man as a partner. A deal with yourself in the form of a compromise “he is greedy, but cheerful” is unacceptable. This is a direct path to dissatisfaction. You can never respect him for being greedy. Your main requirements must be implemented without a trace. You can agree to a compromise only in characteristics that are not essential for you.
It must be remembered that an adult is responsible for meeting his needs himself, naive expectations that someone will come who will take care of you are always shattered by reality. Such expectations are the consequences of childhood traumas, the partner should not be held responsible for them.
There are many unhealthy biases in your ideas about relationships and family life. And they, being at the heart of the worldview, play a cruel joke with you. For example: a woman should earn less than a man, relationships with a man can be without feelings and intimacy, “for health”, a man is a cure for depression or a way to fill a vacuum, relationships with a man are washing and cleaning.
By debunking them and replacing them with a mature, mature, safe relationship vision, you will become much more competent and independent. These are simple and safe rules of life that can be formulated very simply. Respect, understanding, independence, common interests, intimacy, harmony, responsibility.
The first step to a healthy relationship with another is to build a relationship with yourself. You have to find out who you are and build on that in choosing a couple.
The second important criterion is confidence and a sense of the objective value of one's personality. Knowing your needs and being able to take responsibility for them will make your choice the right and safe one for you.
Only after completing this work, you can learn to behave like a girl: to feel attractive, to be able to communicate, to flirt, not to offend yourself, to be able to present your demands in such a way that it would be a compliment for a man. These important skills are independent of age, since you are single - which means you are at the girl stage.
Remember that seduction skills alone without personal confidence are a failure. In addition, an adult son must live independently and take care of himself, otherwise you will make him dependent and immature.
There is a lot of inner work ahead, the results of which will be your harmony and confidence, freedom from harmful prejudices and the ability to choose a worthy man. Thus, the happiness of the relationship will be predictable, satisfying, secure, and in your and your partner's own hands.
My man left his wife for me!
We dated for almost a year, fell in love. She didn’t force me to leave. One fine evening, he arrived and said that he had talked with his wife, explained that he loved another and couldn’t live a lie. I was shocked, didn’t expect, but of course I accepted He. They have two children. She calls every day, appeals to his conscience. What have I done to you, the children are bored, etc. He said that he would support the children completely, left her everything except business, but she does not let up. I began to notice that he was nervous, although he was trying not to show it. It’s hard for me. It would be better if he left right away than he would do it after a while.
How long have you lived with him? those. there was no official divorce
how to behave? everything is fine, only you have to live with it - his children will always be in your life. If you are ready for this, then everything is OK))) And I liked his act. if there is no love, why suffer? Many men are afraid to take such steps, they want to sit on several chairs at the same time.
Well, since he made the decision on his own, it's hardly your fault. Well, yes, you had sex, so what? When pure sex is away strong family led away? Never. So live and enjoy life, though his ex-wife will get on your nerves for some time.
There is a possibility that your wife will destroy your relationship. Especially if she's smart about it.
He is married, has two children, and you and him tumbled in bed for a whole year?
You will have exactly the same fate as his wife. Your children will also learn what it is like to miss their father.
It will be hard for at least another year, then one of two. Either you will part because of the difficulties that have arisen (and they cannot be avoided), or not), we have survived, the 7th year together.
I do not like the words about the wife - "calls", "calls", "does not let up". Be humble.)
Why is it hard for you? Didn't you want it?
yes, you have to wait. The wife to calm down through any time. We generally called in the middle of the night with tantrums and threats that she would commit suicide. Not finished of course :)) Nerves patted the truth. But we have been living for the 10th year, everything is fine. Wait it out.
Rita, find common things with your man - distract him from difficult thoughts, wait, time will put a lot in place, try not to be angry with your wife, she has grief, even if she says something to you in anger - do not be offended. Try to help them and they perhaps they will accept you if they can))) Good luck to you, patience. it will be difficult, let it be easier for you)))))
))) it was all the same, not the same of course, but the former also called, the son called, tears, it hurt. I didn’t understand what to do, how to help him. She didn’t take her away from the family, they broke up on their own, but the fact that he left for me was a tragedy for her (. Now everything is OK (3 years have passed, we have been married for a long time, we are always together, we are waiting for the baby. His son is with us all weekend, calls me second mother. There are problems, it can be difficult, it is difficult to give the boy to the mother on Monday)))
And what is it - "on Mother's Day"?
8 - ah, I understand - it's hard to give the "boy" on MONDAY to the mother - well, yes, she must be a bad mother)
At first, they start relationships with married people, and then they write: "How can I go on?" And he knows about the moral side. Author, now get out yourself now !!
The same thing, but tell me - who came up with the idea for someone else's child to call you "second mother"? Is this your idea or your husband's?
The child himself will not be able to think of this - the children know that their mother is alone. "I swim through the waves and the wind
To the only mother in the world."
Come on, honest man, respect and respect. And the ex-wife is calling for no reason, since everything is over for her anyway.
) No what are you))) she is a wonderful mother)
so why is it "difficult" for you to give your child to your own beautiful mother?)))
but he is also already mine))) you understand how I give my own, I miss him. Already the heart is attached and over time and we are friends with him, we talk a lot)))
The usual thing. In Russia, men change hands, because they can’t immediately decide where it is better. Then their injured sons grow up and follow in the footsteps of their fathers. Cycle g-va in nature.
15.) the child came up with) he’s generally a talker and an inventor, of course, I don’t take the word about my mother as something serious, but it was nice when he told me, “you know, I just thought, this is my second home, and you are dad’s wife, that means you are my second mother "))) Yes, it's nice, I'm glad about it.
poor boy - he is confused, he does not understand what is happening.
Tries to please you. This is not good. He still does not understand that he betrays in this way mother. You must explain to him that a person’s mother is one, and all the others are (at best) friends.
22) I completely agree, mom is the only one, the most beloved, and that’s the only way))) but the boy didn’t get confused, his logic just wrapped him up like that, I don’t see anything wrong with that. .Although in general I try not to discuss her actions. Mom has her own new husband now everything is ok. No one has injuries, everything is in the past (TTT)
Author, remember, no children are worth ruining your life with an unloved woman. And children grow up freaks when parents do not have love. You have to slowly inspire your man. A wife to send harder when he does not hear. You cannot force yourself to live out of a sense of duty and guilt. Children will suffer morally. Find common things with him, so that he is always busy with you together, wife, I repeat - bolder to send. Hysterical place at the doctor - and imagine it inadequate to him. Talk about one life. And children will grow up happier when dad is happy. You can’t be upset - you need to think that everything will be fine. They don’t just leave two children, apparently the stuckkkka is still the same. Help him stop feeling guilty. Because he's not to blame.
guest 21 about "The cycle of g-va in nature." I don’t know anything, I haven’t come across it. And if people get divorced and communicate peacefully, help each other, it’s not so bad. The main thing is conscience, you can go through a lot if you don’t condemn and don’t be angry.
23))) well, that's what you say to your husband))) - you are probably a master of "settle everything"). This is a rare quality. But all the same - you wrote "there are problems", "I try not to discuss her actions" - does it mean that it's not "everything in the past" yet? What's not in the past?
Oh, you would go to the topic "where to live stepdaughter??" - there, an 8-year-old girl whose mother died turned out to be a hindrance to her father's new wife .. they do not believe that there are people who can love other people's children. sure that other people's children are always ungrateful. Would you give them your example?
In short, the girl broke off, she just wanted to have a sponsor, and the losses will have to live under the same roof. Ha-ha 🙂 it should!
What the fuck is honest, I wore horns to my wife for a year, and you call this honesty?
oh damn, how did you get it! Mistresses are always to blame for you, but when everything is fine in the family, the man will not go left.
I read posts Tozhsamoe. and you know what you thought? It is not surprising that her man left his wife, there are very few such women. For example, I wouldn't be able to. I think that I could not love someone else's child, could not be so patient. Probably, I am a terrible egoist, but I am ready to share the love of my man only with OUR child. I do not want a man with a past, with memories that are not shared, I do not want thoughts that he was once close to another woman.
What tolerance suddenly on this branch. No curses, no accusations, as usual, no boomerang threats.
Alice, and boys with dads' wives are easier mutual language find. Here are the girls - there is an ambush, jealousy for dad almost like a man (I observe the life of a friend). But her husband does not love her son, he also treats him like an opponent, although he carefully controls himself.
I'm interested in something else - the man came uninvited, did he decide to live with the author himself? Author, do you mind?
well, to say that - his children will always be, and you will fray your nerves on this topic more than once, especially if you will have your own children with him in the future. There will be jealousy and resentment and swearing.
all this is beautiful, love, you can’t order your heart and other blah blah blah good!
there is only one point: as a rule, when a man goes to the left, he still loves his wife, and he has problems in the family, but they are solvable. but then half a year, a year, three years of such a cute blyatstva pass, and then bam - chuystvo comes! big, bright and beautiful! and here it is, of course, more decent to choose and not sit on two chairs. and a husband with his mistress (sorry, new wife) in chocolate! and no one is to blame anymore, it turns out, it so happened, lyuboff came)) aunties, what kind of decency can we talk about?)))
27. pumpkin didn’t read the topic about the girl, but according to your description, tin ((((I would immediately take it to myself. And wait for gratitude. you will raise him, and then he will thank you, it’s just unreasonable. It’s good if he calls and remembers kindly, that’s all I count on))))
here the frog is divorced
Well, of course there are problems and always will be. I may not like the fact that she feeds him poorly (breakfast at 4 pm is not normal in any family), but I am silent. I don’t like it when she spends money (we give the cat for ourselves and a new husband, not for a boy) But this is her business, and we don’t discuss it. Why wag her nerves. I don’t impose my opinion on her. Over time, I see that she began to treat me better, I’m not her enemy or friend. I understand her jealousy, but I can’t help can.T. I didn’t take her husband away from her, I can’t blame myself. I would like to communicate with her normally about the child, and perhaps one day, when a few more years pass, she will be glad of this herself. And there will always be problems, of course, if I could choose, I would like my husband and I to start everything from scratch. only your children) but if you already have a boy, how else? - to offend a child, to deprive a father? To take such a sin on your soul. well nafig))))))
Author, I was in your situation twice, the first time a man left his wife and child for me, I did not show initiative, it was his decision, they lasted six months, the child was small, his wife blackmailed, his parents were also against me, he She returned twice, it cost me a huge amount of nerves and depression, from which I got out for almost a year. It should be noted that the wife was very economic, never worked anywhere and, as a woman, did not represent anything at all. I beautiful girl, a careerist, and when she saw her photo in general, she thought that after me he would never return to her. Wrong. I lost. He still lives with her. My current husband also left his wife for me, remembering the previous situation, I was ready to immediately cut off the relationship, seeing that he was rushing about, but he left and I never heard anything about his wife, there really were no children there. His wife, it should be noted, is a rather attractive woman, although she is 10 years older than me, she earns decently, and cannot be compared with the first "mouse". So understand after this men. They need pies and understanding. Appearance is not important.
It is better not to get into such situations.
1. They have been divorced for four years already. give birth to their children." He did not answer, did not promise anything. And a month later he did what he did.
Author, it seems to me that it is best to talk as much as possible with your husband so that he opens up to you and tells you what he is going through. To see you as a friend. After all, there can be many reasons why he is nervous - or he is afraid to offend you, or he worries about children, etc.
After listening to him, you will be able to make a wise decision and support him judging by your posts
40-41 Same thing, of course, you shouldn't hurt a child, you can't.
It just seemed to me that you are claiming the place of a good fairy in the heart of a child, and this is easy, because your own mother, probably, did not quite come to her senses after a divorce, and therefore is not as kind now as you are - both in general and in general. relation to the child. The child also feels this, but I think it will be more useful for the child if he still remains closer to his mother, despite the fact that it is easier for him with you. It is not difficult to win a child over to your side, but it seems to me that it is better for you to “move a little” in that you are “better” than his own mother.
Even if this is the case, it is better for the child’s later life if it is HIS FAMILY MOTHER who is “the best.” Everything is complicated in a child’s head. I myself was in the place of this child. And I remember how I kept secret with "such a sweet and kind aunt" at a party, and at home my mother asked me to clean my room and scolded me for lying upside down and not learning my lessons. And my mother seemed like an evil bore. But she was afraid and wanted me to survive in this life, because then we were completely alone in the world. It’s all gone a long time ago and everything is fine, both with my mother and with me, but when I remember my “trust” in my father’s aunt and on the same evening - quarrels with my mother - I am so ashamed! You, probably, good woman- find out how to make sure that the mother for the boy remains the BEST, better than you. It's a small sacrifice - for a good stepmother - who loves CHILDREN.
Personally, I wish you complete happiness and happy childbirth, and my happy babies!
Why do men leave?
Life itself is not scary, but the behavior of many girls (in this article we will not consider men, they are also good) in everyday life is just tin. Sometimes there are just no words and only emotions. As you can imagine, negative.
A man wants to see every day beautiful princess He wants a riddle and wants to conquer. Just by nature, he wants to win the heart of his girl. But how? How the hell do you win the heart of someone who sits and picks her nose or goes to the toilet without closing the door? Or she sings terribly, but thinks her singing is the trill of a freaking nightingale. Or walks like a 90-year-old granny in a filthy bathrobe that smells of borscht and not a fig not romantic meatballs! Cucumbers on the face and lazy fat on the sides, which every year becomes more and more massive. Or what the hell is a princess who sits with her mouth open and watches another series that was filmed for complete idiots. What association does a man have? I think it's understandable.
And I don’t need to talk about the difficult female fate, children and other problems. Make pity on your boyfriend, I know what I'm talking about and life destroys a lot of families. And if you have a question - why did your man leave you, from such a white and fluffy, then think - maybe your whiteness smelled of cutlets? You need to start with yourself.
Well, a note to future housewives. Do not create a life from which you want to leave. Always be a princess.
Oh yes. If you constantly take a man for shopping and drag him around the departments, then I imagine how soon you will find hair on his clothes a slightly different color than yours. I see how girls go to the shopping center, and behind her, like a dog, her boyfriend drags himself with such a look as if another day of life has been lost. If your boyfriend does not volunteer to go with you, then why the hell should you take him with you? And as a result, a girl with an open mouth and burning eyes walks through the boutiques, and behind her is a tired and dissatisfied guy who stares at other girls out of boredom. Just watch, I'm not imagining anything. Men will support me in this.
Princesses seem to be supposed to demonstrate outfits, and not drag princes to choose them. Or I'm wrong?
2. Mommy doesn't turn you on.
A man is not turned on by his mother, and he does not want his aunt and his sister, even if she is very beautiful. And often men leave because their girlfriend begins to associate with a relative. And we don’t want relatives, we love relatives, but we don’t need them. And girls make a global mistake. They begin to take care of their boyfriend as a mother takes care of her child. Yes, the behavior of a man is often to blame for this, but no one forces a woman to become a standard wife with a standard family code with the distribution of duties and the fulfillment of marital duty. Debt is always bad! It's also standard and boring.
Do you want a super secret - how to become the most beloved and most desired for a man? Become his mistress for an indefinite period! All smart mistresses have one thing in common - this is the ability to give a man freedom, from which he himself wants to get rid of. And men turn mountains from this state. I will write about this in more detail, if you are interested, then subscribe to blog updates and receive article announcements by mail
3. I'll go and conquer this world.
A man wants to be a winner and conquer new lands. It runs in his blood. He wants to strive for something, well, at least for something!
But instead, he watches movies with you, walks with your dog, visits guests with you and helps you cut cucumbers for salad. And one day, an acute lack of victories in his life will hit him in the head with the decision to leave you and feel the taste of victory. It is against his nature to use a man for other purposes.
I met a girl who wanted to make me an assistant and I just didn’t have enough time to realize my goals. I told her that I missed this, but she was offended, blew her lips and said that I probably did not love her. I began to feel insecure with her and eventually went to conquer the world, or rather the heart of another girl. The new girl did everything very competently and made it so that I constantly conquered her. This was really right. I will describe this technique in the book Love Personality. And that would be too big an article.
I dated a girl for 5 years and everything was fine with her. But one day I looked at her very intently when she was saying something to me and thought - why should I connect my life with you? And I broke up with her. I remember pain and bewilderment at the Lyceum. I didn't understand the reason then, but now I do. I did not consider it the best for one simple reason. She didn't evoke emotion in me. I looked at her and felt nothing.
She did nothing for me to experience emotions with her (both positive and negative). While I tried to surprise her, please her, shock her, make her laugh, annoy her, make her jealous, she did not. I don't need a teddy bear. So I just left.
If a girl does not evoke feelings in a guy, then she becomes a bun. And the man is actively looking for emotions on the side. Subconsciously.
5. Another girl.
Everything is very simple. It's all about a man just wanting more new girl or just another. The other SEEMS SEXIER against the background of the fact that many wives absolutely do not bother with their sexuality, so not only love, but also a man leaves them.
It's a hit, it's always in the TOP. Cause why does the man leave is another girl. This is the answer to the question - where do men go. When a girl does not evoke emotions, when she does not allow a man to be a man and a winner, when she becomes a relative, instead of being an eternal lover, when a girl makes life disgusting, then the man decides to leave for another.
A man doesn't just leave. He does not need to rest from relationships, he does not need pauses and other crap. He does not need you and everything, but he needs another. Which will make his life pleasant (at least at first, and then she will make the same mistake anyway), which will be a mistress and will make the man himself want to become unfree, which will provoke him to move forward and not limit him in his aspirations and which will give him emotions.
Do not engage in nonsense, if a man left you, then he went to another girl. And now you know the reason. Do not step on this rake again.
Many girls to see in their house - to the good news.
To see a girl of pleasant appearance in a dream for men means big expenses.
Kiss her - to unexpected and joyful events that will surprise you.
A very young girl with a fresh blush on her face, who you dreamed about, means that you will have a pleasant meeting with a nice person who will significantly improve your mood.
An ugly girl that you dreamed of portends a violation of the normal and calm course of your affairs or lifestyle. Sometimes such a dream portends obstacles in business.
A sick girl in a dream is a harbinger of bad news from a loved one. Perhaps one of your loved ones will get sick, which will upset you very much.
A dancing girl of pleasant appearance in a dream - for a love date or good news.
To buy or catch a girl in a dream is a sign of promotion, to a prisoner - release, to a sick person - recovery to the rich - a benefit.
A distressed girl (or crying) in your dream - to contention between lovers or partners.
A mother to see a blooming young girl in a dream portends good news from her children.
Being a girl in a dream - for a woman - is a harbinger of a pleasant pastime, which can be fraught with consequences for her, which will not be slow to affect her reputation.
For a man, such a dream is a sign of ill health.
For people of creative professions - a surge of inspiration.
See interpretation: lady, freak.
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Love to married man always forbidden, sinful and condemned by society. But what to do if he is unhappy in marriage and only certain obligations and feelings of responsibility and conscience connect him with his wife. He also wants to be with you, responds with mutual feelings, but he will never dare to leave his family. In this case, you should try yourself so that the lover leaves his wife for you. Perhaps someone will say that it is mean and ugly to take a person away from the family. But if there is still no happiness in that family? Are you to blame?
Do you need this man?
Cheating is always associated with a certain mystery. Lovers are forced to hide, hide, see each other in secret. These thrills make their feelings stronger and more passionate. No wonder they say that the forbidden fruit is sweet. Often, after the lovers reunite, they realize that apart from this mystery and passion, nothing connects them. Relationships become boring, sharpness disappears. In addition, people understand that there really was no love. In most cases, the unfortunate lover, pushing around, returns to his wife.
Even if your beloved man is unhappy in marriage, if there are no feelings between him and his wife for a long time, think about how the situation is in reality? Perhaps he just chose the position of the victim, it is so convenient for him, and you feel sorry for him. There are some men who attract women in this way. After all, all women by their nature love to shelter, pity, understand and console someone. Therefore, before taking a man away from the family, think about whether he wants to leave from there? And the most important question: do you need it? Analyze why you agreed to the role of mistress? It is unlikely that love broke out between you immediately. Surely before that there was just an intimate relationship without feelings and obligations. Yes, and in the role of a mistress, of course, there are advantages.
Why is it good to be a mistress
To be a mistress family man- it's not always bad. Think for yourself:
- you have no obligations to this man;
- you are not burdened by everyday life;
- you have constant intimacy;
- present in your life male attention and romance;
- sometimes you can count on financial support (if not permanently).
Imagine a man left his wife for you. What is waiting for you? Very soon, your relationship will be swallowed up by a harsh life. Romance and attention will disappear. In addition, do not forget that the man will constantly keep in touch with his ex-wife and children. And this is jealousy, suspicion, mistrust. And the most important moment: at the same time, he cheated on his wife with you. Where is the guarantee that he will not cheat on you again? He is not capable of being faithful, and you know this very well. It will gnaw and torment you. Although, there are women who accept all these facts and are able to create a wonderful family with their lover. We hope that you belong to this category of wise women.
Why should a man be removed from his family?
You need to understand that you can’t just, out of sports interest, take and take your lover away from his wife. As a result, your relationship will equally deteriorate, the man will return to his wife, and the feelings of all three participants in the love triangle will suffer. Therefore, you need to think about how to make a man leave the family only if you have serious reasons:
- between you real love, tested by time and situations;
- you are pregnant or you already have a child from a lover;
- you are both unhappy in your personal life without each other.
If at least one reason applies to you, then proceed to action.
Steps to get a lover to leave his wife
You have been dating for more than one year, and the lover has not taken the first step towards resolving the situation. Trust me, it won't. There are many circumstances that prevent this, but most often a man is simply insecure, and does not want to change his established life. It is convenient for him to have a house full of cups and a mistress, as an outlet for the soul. In order for him to leave his wife for you, you need to take many steps and spend a lot of time. But you're ready for anything, right? So, how to take a man out of the family:
- Get really close to him. You must understand him, support him in everything. This is what he lacks in his wife. But don't try to be better than a wife or become perfect. Stay down to earth, but different. After all, that's why he chose you.
- During meetings, create the maximum feeling of comfort and coziness for a man. He needs to know that where you are is his home.
- No need to focus on the lover. Even, on the contrary, at a certain moment you can move away a little. Since a man has a sense of ownership, he will panic.
- Don't take the first steps - don't call him, don't date him, don't invite him. This should be done by a man. May he keep reaching out to you.
- Do not discuss his wife, do not turn against her. Even if a man constantly complains about his wife, he has the right to do so, since he lives with her. Just listen, silently, to all complaints and comfort. If you start discussing your wife, the man may not like it.
- The most effective way is to give an ultimatum. Deny him sex, be ready to quit. If a man loves you, he will leave his wife. If you find an excuse not to do it again, then it's useless.
In general, as practice shows, if a man in the first year of such a relationship did not make a choice and did not decide, then it is not worth waiting. You can lose your whole life in the status of an eternal lover this way. First, you will wait until the lover rises to his feet financially, so as not to depend on the wife or her parents. Then he will ask you to wait until the children grow up. Then the wife will have some difficult period when support is needed, and it’s impossible to leave her. And so will the whole life. Just understand that a man loses absolutely nothing in this case: he has a family, an established life, children, relatives. And what will be left for you? Broken heart and cat. Alas, but these are the sad realities of statistics.
If the lover left his wife
If you still achieved your goal, you do not need to relax. The departure of a lover from his wife does not mean your victory. You need to prepare for many moments and stock up on great patience.
- You have sacrificed a lot in order to create the image that attracted your lover. This image needs to be maintained. After all, this is what put you in an undeniable advantage over your mistress.
- If the lover is older than you, be prepared for the difference in daily routine, nutrition, habits and preferences. Now you will cook him according to a special menu so that the ulcer does not worsen and do massages during sciatica. This, by the way, again to the question, are you ready to endure such a lover?
- Be prepared for the fact that the lover will constantly communicate with his wife, with children. They will have mutual friends and some business. An ex-wife will call for any reason, whether it's a question about a mug for a child or preparation for graduation. It's over the best option- make friends with children and establish neutrality in relation to his wife.
As you can see, it is difficult to take a lover out of the family, but it is even more difficult to keep close. If you find yourself in this situation, think carefully, weigh all the pros and cons. Perhaps this is another episode in your life that you simply mistaken for a serious feeling.
Instruction
First you need to remember that men disappear from your life from time to time. That is their nature. The reason for this phenomenon is the desire to arouse the jealousy of your beloved in order to once again be convinced of her love and increase your sense of self-worth. That is why it is necessary to find out what is the reason for this situation. Perhaps not so long ago you had a fight, or your relationship just stabilized, and the young man just wants a little freedom. Maybe he only needs to spend time with his friends several times a week, without you. In any case, before drawing conclusions, it is necessary to carefully analyze the situation, taking into account all the details.
Often, men tend to say rash words to their soul mates. That is why, if during a quarrel you hear the phrase “I don’t love you”, you should not blindly and unconditionally believe this. Most likely, this phrase was said only in a fit of anger, but in fact he does not think so. If he didn't have feelings for you, he would have left a long time ago.
If in your relationship there has been no warmth, affection and support for a long time, you should think about whether there are feelings between you. Of course, if your passion has just cooled down a bit over the years, you can try to “rekindle” it again, but if it simply doesn’t exist, you shouldn’t try anymore. Yes, parting is not so easy, but sometimes this is the only way out of this situation. Just remember that nothing happens by chance in your life. Every breakup is followed by a new meeting.
Before looking for an answer to the question "is a man", you need to analyze your behavior. Maybe you spend too much time at work, pay little attention to your beloved. Do not forget that a woman by nature tends to dramatize. From a small insignificant quarrel, they can inflate a big problem, make a molehill out of a fly. Of course, any event can cause people to move away, but this does not mean that your relationship is over. In any case, remember that if a man decides to leave, he will definitely inform you about it in a calm atmosphere.
You can understand one thing: when a man leaves forever, he will not contact you, will not answer your calls and messages, maybe even change his phone number and place of residence. Most likely, he will ask his friends not to tell you anything about his existence, he will simply disappear. The new relationship of your lover can also let you know that you will never be together again.
I have a situation that I never thought of before. My brother has a friend, he lives with his wife almost from school, now he is over 30, he has no children, but he really wants to, something does not work out. And I divorced my husband not long ago, I was left alone with a child in my arms, we began to communicate a little, at first he just helped, entertained, but our relationship went very far, it even came to sex, often stays overnight, she says, that he fell in love, but is not ready to leave his wife yet, constantly complains about her. What is it on his part? Just noodles on the ears? Or is there still a chance that he will go to me?
Maria, Saratov, 24 years old / 10/16/17
Opinions of our experts
Alyona
Mary, you answered your own question. More precisely, you know the correct answer to it, and it is present in your letter. The man has been living with his wife for ten years, they have no children, but he does not leave her, despite the fact that he “really wants children”, according to him. Moreover, he gets himself a mistress, who has already proven her ability to bear children, but she is not ready to leave her wife "yet". What does it say? That's right: he's just using you. He is not going to leave his wife. His biological clock is not ticking, he is a man, and at 40 and 50 it is not too late for him to become a dad. And if he is “not ready” to leave a childless wife, then she suits him. After all, there are no special obstacles to the separation of two partners who did not have time to produce offspring. No broken children's destinies, no alimony, no visits to children on weekends and manipulations with them. So if he's "not ready" to leave, then he doesn't want to. Perhaps there are no children there yet by mutual agreement - not all couples are in a hurry with this issue (I, for example, know couples who have not had children for more than 10 years, because they wanted to first live for themselves, and then after 35 years gave birth - someone one, someone managed and three). True, there was one curious couple among my acquaintances, where there were no children for 10 years, the husband checked everything he could, the wife also (assured that she was checked), and then, purely by chance, the husband found out that she had been drinking contraceptives all this time because she didn't want children from him. This couple divorced after a showdown, and both found partners within a year, and a year later each already had a child. But to hope that your lover's wife is the same insidious lady, I would not advise. In that couple, the husband was faithful to his wife. And in your story, it was he who went to the left. And, now I will say something banal, but - you should not believe a man who is deceiving his wife. After all, there is no guarantee that he is only cheating on his wife, you understand? Your relationship has already crossed the border of facade communication, when it’s still scary to frighten off, or misunderstand (take flirting for love and turn out to be funny) - you are already having sex. So, there is nothing shameful in putting a guy in front of a choice. Either he decides who he is with, or he goes to his wife. No intermediate options. Because while you are all in hopes, naively dreaming of a happy life together with him, he and his wife can work hard on the child. And one day, looking down, he will say that he certainly loves you, and not his wife, but it so happened that she nevertheless became pregnant, and he, as an honest person, cannot leave her at such a moment. Well, then everything will develop quite according to the classical scenario.
Sergey
Maria, I personally think that a man who really wants to be with some woman will do everything possible for this, and even more. And neither the family, nor the children, nor even the position in society can prevent him. History knows many examples of such cases, and if you think about it, you will surely find several similar options among your friends. If the guy does not want to part with his wife, and at the same time wants to have a relationship on the side, then he does not feel anything serious either there or there. He can say anything, but in reality he seeks only to satisfy his simple desires, such as affordable "left" sex, and nothing more. And the role of a “girlfriend” in this layout is nothing more than an eternal lover. No, of course, if the legal spouse finds out and kicks out such a shot, then he can marry the next in line. But she won't be the last one anyway. Such comrades quickly restore their usual position, and find a new “third-party” outlet. Therefore, I would advise you to put the question squarely: "Either you are with me, or with your lawful wife." And if a young man starts looking for options to delay the decision, kick him out as soon as possible. Otherwise, you will just waste your time and nerves. Although, of course, everyone is free to spoil his life as he wants. But then don't say you didn't warn me later.