24 June 2013, 20:12

wellina

Dear girls, I would like to note that, first of all, we marry a man with whom we at least feel good. Therefore, whether a foreigner or a Russian is not the most important question for many. But there are many pitfalls. First you need to determine your base: if you have lived in one place all your life, you still communicate with friends from kindergarten, almost all your relatives have always lived in this same place, you are familiar with almost all the neighbors in the area - this means that you have taken root and it will be better if you do not move far from this place. The proverb will definitely work here: “Where you were born, you come in handy.” Even if you have a crazy passion with the most beautiful foreigner in the world, after two years you will feel the loss.
But if the connections are not so strong (for example, I changed 3 schools). Already in childhood you had to adapt to a new unfamiliar situation, find friends and associates in an unfamiliar environment, then marriage with a foreigner will only be a drive, an adventure, a new stage of proving to yourself and the world that you can achieve a lot in this life.
Well, now about life in England. English good husbands. A bit boring. You need to take the initiative into your own hands, then they will do everything for you. The environment is very restrained and quite pleasant, but no one wants to get too close. But it depends on your luck.
The weather and the barometer of the general mood show that it will be a bit boring. But the nature and air are beautiful. For those who decide to devote their lives to children, this is one of the best countries. In addition, there are so many Russians here that in each school you can meet at least 4 Russian mothers. There are Russians in almost every village, so English language not really needed.
London is a completely different story. There are so many opportunities... but it's not for married people.
So if you like a quiet, eco-friendly life, without surprises. Good husband who will devote all his strength to the benefit of children - then you should come to England. Well, if you want something for yourself: a holiday or passion, then probably not here.

InnaMG

I think it would be nice if the girls indicated their age and where they were from.
I am 31.29 years old and lived in Kyiv. Now I am married to a Slovenian from Slovenia, not to be confused with Slovakia. We have been together physically for 2 years since June 2011, met on the Internet in the fall of 2010, and met in person for the first time only in April 2011. That is, 7 months. We talked every day for 2-4 hours, at the time of the meeting I already knew him well. We met on a website for learning foreign languages. We communicated in English, both of them had a very good level of language. My goal was not to find a martyr, just to communicate; before him, I simply communicated with many men from all over the world. And with this it just happened, we couldn’t stop talking, and around December, I realized that this was more than communication and I would like to continue. I’m from Kyiv, he’s from Slovenia, Hungary is between us, we agreed to meet for the first time somewhere in between, we decided in Lvov. Fell in love with this city. We didn’t like each other’s appearance at first, but later both admitted that we looked better in the photo. But he was already so close to me after 7 months, and appearance is not the main thing for me, that everything was normal. We spent 3 days together. And in June I went to Slovenia to see what was what. The visa was for 3 months, I stayed for 2 weeks, I liked everything, he proposed and I went to Kyiv to think. I thought about it for a month, many people dissuaded me, but I was stubborn, I didn’t listen to advice, and at the end of July I went to see him. In September we went to Ukraine to meet relatives, traveled around Ukraine, then went to Cambodia for 3 weeks, and at the end of November we flew away, he went to Slovenia, I went to Ukraine to collect documents for the wedding and apply for a new visa. In March 2012 we got married in Slovenia. Since August 2012 we have been living in Dublin, he found a job there, but we want to return to Slovenia, I will take language courses, I am entitled to 180 hours for free.
We didn't have any mental difficulties. A lot has improved because I am a non-conflict person, ready to make compromises and easy to change. I don’t miss my homeland, the Ukrainian mentality is not mine. I’ll be honest, I don’t feel much difference living with a foreigner. During these 2 years, I worked for 4 months in Paris and worked part-time in Dublin as translations in my husband’s company. In terms of finances, my husband is wealthy, he doesn’t particularly limit things, but he likes to put in his 5 kopecks. What I really need and what I don’t, and I really began to spend money more wisely than before. He doesn’t drive me to work because of the money, but he really wants me to look for myself and do what I love. In Slovenia there is no trash, no ostentation, people dress simply, there is no cult of restaurants and clubs, so we go to restaurants to eat, not to show off, I stopped buying hundreds of blouses, but we travel a lot and lead healthy image life: vegetarianism, yoga, sports. Now we have been in Slovenia for 2 months, hiking in the mountains, riding bikes. Everything is so relaxed here, no one presses about children or age. I am so happy that not only do I not miss my homeland, I don’t want to go there, my husband already wants to visit, but I don’t. As for relatives in Ukrainian, my mother died 4 years ago, my dad and brother have their own families, my beloved granny also died six months ago. I have enough girlfriends from Kyiv on Skype. I’m one of those people for whom my husband is my best friend, this is now my family and I’m not drawn anywhere :) Did we have a grind? I think what brought us together was the fact that we did not sit still, some changes were constantly happening, it was just the two of us and we needed each other. At the beginning in Lvov he is in me, in Slovenia I am in him, in Ukrainian. he, and we went to Cambodia simply by buying plane tickets and that’s it. After the wedding, a month later I flew to Paris, and in Dublin the two of us were rebuilding our lives. We just went through a lot of different situations in 2 years and I think this brought us together.

Chicagoan

Hello, I would like to participate in a collective post about foreign husbands.
My husband is Russian. And then everyone is like - well, why is he here then?, and I’m like: BUT!
But he moved to the States at the tender age of 20, and before that he spent several years wandering around countries friendly to the Union with his architect dad.
When he moved, he immediately ended up in the so-called. Russian commune in Richmond, and decided that he categorically did not want to be an anecdotal person from Brighton Beach, and since he moved, he had to assimilate. He became so assimilated that in almost 15 years he almost forgot the Russian language... In general, when I met him and insisted that we would still communicate in Russian, it was VERY difficult for him. My girlfriends giggled at his accent (although, as I now understand, compared to my daughter, he’s just an announcer on central television) and phrases like “well, there’s such a peninsula there” (again, my daughter says every day in the spirit of: dad, why are you standing like a stump?). I will also never forget his face when he saw the name of the store “Lamps Chandeliers Bra” (bra is a bra in English, and what a sconce is in Russian, even I have a very vague idea, to be honest).
In general, he and I grew up in different countries: He left immediately after the collapse of the Union, but I don’t really remember my life in the USSR. During life together our attitude towards America has changed diametrically: when I first arrived, I hatched cunning plans to move to at least Europe, because due to the distance from home, family and friends, I called my new place of residence exclusively “Purdue” and “f*cks” , Sorry.
My husband was zombified by the slogans “America from the Greatest Country in the World” and we had many hours of arguments on this basis. With the birth of the child, our arguments moved to another area and became much shorter (you go change the diaper! No, you? Well, okay, then you’re at night, and don’t wake me up)
Now, on the contrary, my man feels that the real money is in Moscow, and most importantly, without the ugly 35% tax, and I have everything already arranged, and I don’t smile at all about looking for 2 jobs, a garden, an apartment, etc. again. But this is probably not connected with national characteristics, but rather with historically determined instincts - hunting for mammoths for him, and nesting for me.
In general, in the end, although my husband is a light version of a foreigner (please note, he has nothing to do with the well-known blogger), I still consider him more of an American. But the grinding process was successfully completed both in my own example and in the example of my friends, Americans, I recommend :) - with the exception of the old farts from hotrussianbrides.com

Musechka

My husband is Greek. We met when I was 30 years old and he was 37. In general, we have been together for 4 years, of which we have been married for 3.5. Before meeting him, I was convinced that I would never marry a foreigner, such as the difference in mentality, upbringing, etc. Today I am happy that I was wrong. We are a very colorful couple: I am Asian, and he reminds me Caucasian man. In general, that in Greece everyone turned to us, that now in Russia we are a very noticeable couple)
Now directly about the Greeks. Greek men respect women very much. My husband doesn’t understand how a man can insult, hit a woman, or even just respond rudely to her. I know that I can trust my husband, because fate threw us very serious challenges in which the average Russian would most likely give up and run away.

The Greeks are great, crazy dads. We recently became parents to a lovely baby doll. So, our daddy does everything except breastfeeding) And when I run off to meet my friends to unwind, I express milk, and he feeds the baby. In the household we have no division - who does what. And washing the dishes, and painting the floors, and painting the walls is not a problem. And he cooks amazingly delicious food. But my hands, unfortunately, grow from the wrong place. Two years ago we moved to Russia from Greece, where we lived before. Due to the crisis, life in their country was very difficult. And now we have settled down wonderfully in Russia, although he is very bored, especially during a long stay. Siberian winter. But next summer we will definitely go to Greece to visit his parents with the baby.
I have 2 beautiful friends in Greece: a German and an Englishwoman, my peers. Both have been married to Greeks for many years. They say that their guys (Germans and Britons) cannot be compared with the Greeks)
Girls who have not yet met their prince, I highly recommend Greek men to you!

Kusumusu

Girls, hello everyone. I am dating a foreigner, but more on that later. I have a friend, she married an Englishman and moved to London with him. We met in the Czech Republic while skiing. He is five years older than her (or so). We talked for two years on the Internet, traveled, and then got married and she left for Foggy Albion. They work there, everything is going well, they are happy.
As for me, now I am in a relationship with a Spaniard, I don’t know what will happen next, but I want everything to be fine with us. Refuting the opinions of some gossips, everything was fine with Russian guys. We met at an international volunteer camp. Do I want to move? Yes, I want to, and I don’t see anything wrong with that. The main thing is that the person is good, nationality does not matter. By the way, my parents are also of different nationalities, but they have been together for 25 years and have three children. Love everyone =)

To be continued...

It is no secret that many modern girls and women dream of marrying a foreigner. By hook or by crook, they try to arrange their destiny away from their homeland, and many succeed. You can condemn them, talking about the lack of patriotism and the desire for an easy life, or you can try to understand the reason for such a desire. After all, whatever one may say, the number of men in Russia is inferior to the number of women, and by the age of 35-40 it is almost impossible for an unmarried lady to find a suitable husband. So these women remain lonely, looking with envy at their more successful married friends. And the love of Russian men for strong drinks sometimes leaves many women unable to count on a prosperous, happy marriage. What would seem funny and absurd for women in most countries of the world is completely normal for an ordinary Russian woman: we are ready to consider a man ideal just because he doesn’t drink.

And the difficult economic situation in the country, which does not give one hundred percent confidence in the future, forces many girls to seek personal happiness abroad. We all want financial stability and prosperity, not only for ourselves, but also for our children. All this together serves as an excellent explanation for the fact that some girls do not want to connect their fate with their male compatriots. They are searching Better conditions for your life, and you shouldn’t judge them for it. Every person has the right to personal happiness, and if it is not possible to find it in his own country, then why not look for it anywhere else in the world?

Marry a foreigner: where to start

Well, if you are mentally ready to leave all your family and friends many thousands of kilometers away, if you are not afraid of the difficulties of living in another country, with different laws and mentality, then it’s time to start making your dream come true. Before you think about how to marry a foreigner, decide in which country you would like to live. After all, you must admit, even the most respectable and decent man from China differs in many ways from the same candidate for marriage from a European country or the United States. You must determine which mentality is closer to your heart, whose moral and religious principles you are ready to accept. And, as soon as you decide on the choice of country, immediately proceed to the second point of implementing your plan. Namely, to study the language you will speak.

The most difficult thing for emigrants abroad is that they do not speak the language of the country in which they came to live. Or they don’t speak it well enough. How can you communicate with your chosen one without knowing a word of his native language? Translators are unlikely to help you - rather, on the contrary. There are many cases when foreigners switched their attention to these same translators and married them instead of the previous applicants. So immediately sign up for language courses, buy tutorials or learn the language on a computer using special programs!

Clean up your appearance. Of course, Russian women are indeed valued for their beauty all over the world, but a couple of dozen extra pounds and dandruff in unkempt hair will not increase your chances of finding interesting man. Then he will understand and appreciate your rich inner world, but first you must interest him with your attractive appearance.

Try to imagine a man you would agree to marry. His age, height, weight, hair color, eye color. Our thoughts are material, which means we need to scroll through the image more often ideal man in your head. Finding true happiness is always difficult, and even more so abroad. You must be prepared for the fact that you will have to put in a lot of effort to achieve your dream. And, most importantly, you need to remember that your efforts will be justified and you will find your loved one.

Many foreign men have a rather unpleasant idea about brides from Russia. Numerous marriage agencies spread myths that a Russian girl is a silent beauty who is ready to work for the happiness of her husband 24 hours a day and does not require anything other than a place of residence in another country. Unfortunately, the majority of potential suitors who apply to such agencies are people who, due to bad character, circumstances or health, are in no way attractive to their compatriots. They expect submission and gratitude from Russian women, unaware of the hot temperament of our compatriots.

In order not to run into such a potential husband, you need to work long and hard, looking for a good, decent man. And if you believe in yourself, then the light at the end of the tunnel will definitely dawn, and you will be able to marry a person who will not turn your life into hell.

How to meet a foreigner

There are only two ways to meet a foreigner in order to marry him: on your own and with the help of marriage agencies or specialized websites. Let's look at each of them.

Independent search for a partner

There are different ways to meet a handsome foreigner. For example, you can go on a tourist trip to the desired country in the hope of finding a suitable man. Here you may encounter the following problem: you may be able to get acquainted, but you are unlikely to have time to complete the matter and get married. Your acquaintance can easily turn into an ordinary a holiday romance, which has no continuation, but you are pursuing a completely different goal, right?

The next options for self-search are advertisements in newspapers and magazines, as well as international social networks. Unfortunately, with this method of dating, you have a high risk of stumbling upon a scammer. Be especially attentive to any requests from your potential suitors to send them some money. Many dishonest men deliberately meet women from Russia and other countries of the former Soviet Union for the sake of illegal enrichment.

Of course, even if you search for a groom on your own, you have a chance to successfully marry a resident of another country. However, the percentage of success here depends on your luck, and this is not the most faithful companion in the search for happiness.

Marriage agencies and dating sites

In Russia, in almost every city there are marriage agencies that can help you marry a foreigner. They charge a certain fee for their services and work with you for a certain period of time, after which (if a groom is not found) a new contract with a new payment is concluded. But there are also agencies that charge only once for a lifetime membership and provide services to their clients until they get married.

As a rule, such agencies post your profile on their own website on the Internet and send your data to the foreign marriage offices with which they cooperate. They have a directory available where you can view candidates. The trouble is that these directories do not contain contact information for grooms; you can only communicate with them through an agency. In addition, information about men is updated quite rarely and may turn out to be hopelessly outdated.

However, finding a foreign husband through a marriage agency can bear fruit. They will help you take a good photograph and provide translation services if you do not know the language. In order to successfully choose a marriage agency, you need to find out how long it has been operating and whether it has positive results.

Dating websites

The easiest way to meet a foreigner is on a dating site. To do this, find a site that provides the opportunity to communicate with men from other countries. You can also go to the website of the country where you want to move. Register and complete your profile. Of course, this needs to be done on foreign language. It is very important to provide truthful information in the application form, otherwise you will earn a reputation as a not very decent woman, and you will no longer have to count on a successful search for a groom.

In a short message about yourself, it is important to interest the potential groom. Write about your age, profession, interests and what kind of man you would like to see as your life partner. Be sure to clarify that you are ready to communicate with a man via email and/or Skype, this will give candidates confidence that you are determined and are not trying to hide anything. Try to write correctly, this will make men more determined to contact you.

Be sure to respond to all men's requests, but don't be shy about weeding out those you don't like. Be polite, but adamant, otherwise you will have a much harder time finding exactly the person you are dreaming of.

Possible consequences of marriage with a foreigner

If a woman fulfills her dream and marries a foreigner, then, unfortunately, this does not guarantee her happiness. People are different: you may simply be unlucky. It’s good if you come across a kind, attentive, generous and well-mannered life partner. Then it's possible real love and a happy marriage. And if not? What if he turns out to be stupid, cruel and too greedy? Perhaps, even because of the difference in mentality, you and your chosen one will look at the same circumstances from different points of view. Let's consider the possible options for your relationship...

The ideal option is when everything is fine

Despite the existence of some differences in the perception of the world around you, you were able to become the only ones for each other. Such unions, as a rule, happen only if the spouses met due to common interests, and much later common points of contact appeared that turned into personal relationships. There are many examples of such a union.

A satisfactory option is marriage without love (just together)

It also happens that all expectations from a marriage with a foreigner seem to have been met, but after the wedding, married life turned out to be not as rosy as it seemed before marriage. The honeymoon has not yet ended, and the hedgehog spouses begin to annoy each other. But many couples are in no hurry to divorce, continuing to live without love, respecting interests and observing the laws of society.

“Vehicle” option

Lately this option has become quite common. Despite common plans for a future life together, very often after the wedding it turns out that there is no possibility, nor even desire, to live under one roof next to your chosen one. This is where it all begins...

If you don’t want to return to your homeland, make every effort to avoid getting divorced for at least several years. For example, in Germany the so-called “probationary period” is five years. Thus, by staying in this country as the wife of a local resident, you will receive a permanent residence permit. If previously it was possible to get a visa and immediately get a divorce, then after “transport” marriages began to be widely used for the purpose of enrichment, they were immediately banned. Now every girl has the right to remain in her husband’s country for exactly as long as she continues to be his legal wife. If you want to get a divorce before you receive citizenship or permanent residence, your visa will simply not be extended.

Therefore, if you do not have a good relationship with your chosen one and he does not strive to get a divorce as quickly as possible, you can, while remaining nominally married, extend temporary residence permits or visas. In this case, you will actually have to rely only on your own strength: look for a highly profitable job that will allow you to pay for accommodation, food, clothing and much more. But for this, as a rule, you need to have a good command of the language.

After the “probationary” period has expired, you can safely get a divorce; now no one will evict you from the country, since during this period you have already managed to adapt here and you simply have nowhere to return. Now, having achieved your goal, you can lead your independent life in Europe.

The worst option - no husband, no love, no abroad

Such cases, unfortunately, are not isolated. Going overseas in search of happiness, every girl dreams of a handsome fairy-tale prince. However, not everyone is destined to meet such a fairy-tale hero in a completely foreign country. A stranger may not turn out to be a prince at all, or you simply won’t suit him as a wife, and not every man will agree to be married to you for such a long period of time until your integration period ends.

That's it - you're left with nothing, what's next? Many immediately return home. Others, while protracted divorces are ongoing, begin frantically looking for other options for obtaining a visa.

There are also cases when the bride dreams of “getting away” as quickly as possible from her newly-made husband, who is not at all like a fairy-tale prince. There are frequent cases when foreign grooms are looking for themselves, most likely, not a wife, but a free housekeeper, mistress and cook all rolled into one.

No matter how successful your life with a foreigner is, you must be prepared for different options your future abroad:

• When planning to marry a person from another country, you definitely need to have at least a passable command of the language. After all, without knowing the language you will be in a vulnerable state.
• When going abroad, you must have a financial reserve (just in case of emergency), which no one should know about except you.
• Be sure to take all documents with you, even those you don't think you will need while abroad.
• Do not take children with you on your first visit abroad.
• Try to find mutual language with relatives, friends and acquaintances of her husband.
• To avoid feeling in a vacuum, try to make new friends.
• Try to find a job in your specialty as soon as possible.
• There are various women's rights organizations in European countries, so find out the contact details of "women's shelters" just in case. Let's hope that you will never need the addresses and telephone numbers of these organizations!

No one is dissuading you from your dream of marrying a wonderful foreigner who will turn your life into a fairy tale. There are plenty of examples of successful marriages among people previously separated by distance, culture, and mentality. You just need to be prepared for an unexpected plot twist, because life often presents us with surprises, including unpleasant ones. In order for your family life I turned out to be happy with a foreigner, you need to look not for a way to leave Russia for a more economically developed country, but for a way to fall in love and become loved. Accept with all your heart a person, his culture and values ​​- this is what will allow you to become one of those lucky women who have lived abroad a long time ago.

Discussion 1

Similar materials

real stories clash of cultures">

Married to a Foreigner: True Stories of Culture Clash

In our age of globalization, marrying a foreigner, and even moving to his country, is no longer as incredibly exotic as it was in the time of Anna Yaroslavna. And it’s easier to get used to the new life: the same jeans, bathrooms, traffic lights and shops are everywhere. But this sameness is exclusively external. Local cultural characteristics do not allow you to relax so quickly, you have to get used to it!

Husband is German

I am Belarusian. The Germans eat potato pancakes with jam and apple mousse. I still can't stand it. In Belarus, dranik is a sacred and necessarily salty dish, which is eaten with sour cream and all sorts of gravies. And my mother-in-law is offended that I call her “you”. In the case of family, this is not a sign of special respect, but a kind of “non-recognition” of her as a member of the family. Like, “I don’t know you, you are strangers to me.” The Germans are also very surprised that I am eager to wipe every wound with vodka. As for Eastern European cuisine, they are amazed at HOW MUCH we cook when we are expecting guests or for holidays.

Husband is Turkish

In big cities, Turkey is such a Muslim Europe. Only in the mornings the bells don’t ring, but the muezzins shout, you just have to get used to it. I still haven’t fully gotten used to it... It’s difficult to walk the streets with small children, it’s covered with a wave of public affection. There is a real cult of childhood here. This is not for show, in families it is even stronger, Turkish children are very much pampered, rewarded, squeezed. But it’s very easy to go shopping without even knowing the language. Local sellers are so knowledgeable that they will understand even grunts and gestures and will put exactly what you need on the counter.

Almost all women love to cook, and many men too, which is very noticeable after Russia. Everyone loves to eat just as much, the portions are large, there are no barbecue-juice-salad picnics, they carry cooler bags with a huge amount of food. I didn’t have any problems with my husband due to different cultures, he was immediately determined that he would marry a European and it wouldn’t happen at the snap of his fingers; if you want coffee, ask out loud or do it yourself. The only battle we had was over intimate hair. Here it is customary to remove it completely, none of the most modest and short haircuts doesn’t admit it, it’s dirt. But this battle happened before the wedding.

Husband is Ukrainian from the outback

The change of culture was very radical, because not only the country was changing, I moved from the city to the village. Straightaway - a new style communication. I tried to communicate with my mother-in-law by her first name and patronymic. But here it’s only “mom – you”. They also immediately pulled me back when I called my husband a diminutive name (that is, not a pet name, but a diminutive name), well, for example, “Vanka.” “Did you quarrel with him or don’t respect him? Don’t say that in front of people, otherwise rumors will spread.”

You absolutely can’t do anything on Sunday! For me, who works and is accustomed to the city lifestyle, it was martyrdom. You put off cleaning for the weekend, and then – oops, it’s already done. That's all. Then I learned to plan, and, to be honest, to get around the ban. My husband is supportive. It was a fun cultural moment. We taught English times to the children. There is a sentence “Who made the birdhouse? - I am. When did you make it? - On Sunday". The children had cognitive dissonance.

The cuisine here is very greasy, they can serve stewed duck with fresh milk, for me this is just horror, horror. So this is where my husband was forced to get used to my traditions. And I did a mix of this and that. I like. I even taught you how to eat okroshka :)

Husband is Italian

I didn’t have a culture shock in Italy, because I often went there before I got married. Well, here are the main points that surprise Russian wives.

Eating strictly according to schedule. If a guest comes, it is not customary to dump everything that is in the refrigerator. Not because they are greedy, but because it is believed that during non-lunch hours a person simply cannot be hungry. And at lunchtime, a polite person will simply never go to anyone’s house or even call anyone, because this is sacred. Guests are offered drinks: aperitif, coffee, water. To feed a person, you need to invite him to lunch or dinner. If you ask an Italian if he is hungry, he looks at his watch before answering. Food for Italians is... well, it's everything to them. But you don’t need to drink to the bottom, you can even not drink at all.

It is not customary to make comments even in the most affectionate and polite form. A hint of a showdown is considered inappropriate behavior. Well, that is, some, of course, quarrel with neighbors and relatives, but this usually means a final break in diplomatic relations. Discussing any serious topics, much less arguing, is not welcome. It is customary to nod in agreement to any nonsense that is told to you. At first I was surprised: why does everyone always agree with me? :) Then I figured it out. :).

This is all based on experience in a small village in Lombardy (one of the most economically developed regions in Northern Italy). In the South, some things may be different. But food is sacred throughout Italy.

Husband is Greek

One of the first discoveries - hot water It doesn’t always happen, but it is heated by the boiler and ends quite quickly. In winter we turn on the heating for an hour or two. Because +18 in the house is quite warm, and you can get used to it. But +15 is quite cold.

They're not arguing - they're talking about the weather. They are not killing each other - they are talking about football. They are not having a fit, but talking about politics. Places in public transport It’s better to give in to old people. And especially for old women - you will be safer. Moscow drivers are like bunnies compared to Athens ones. In Athens, running red lights and pedestrians crossing the road is commonplace. Also scold them for not running away fast enough.

Don't ask the names of children under two years old. Their name is baby or baby. The name will be given at the christening. Forget about what you want to name your child. He will be called by the name of his father-in-law or mother-in-law. This is an unbreakable tradition. Well, if you want to insist on your own, get ready for war.

What's your birthday? Name day is a holiday with gifts and congratulations. Which one else New Year? Christmas! And the most main holiday- it's Easter. Everyone celebrates, even atheists.

Husband is Basque

I am Ukrainian. How did our cultures collide? Elementary. Only I eat borscht, because “beets are food for cows.” So please. In retaliation, I don't do local food. What? Tortilla? It's super complicated and only locals can do it. So let them do it. On Thursdays we have this dinner. And on other days of the week they come up with something also local, which I don’t cook either. Talking about food - I don't know who talks more, the Spaniards or the Italians :) Cold? The same parsley as in Greece: 18 is almost hot. 19 – all the windows open and there is a groan, I can’t breathe, they say.

Husband is Spanish

Spain surprised me, perhaps, with a more reverent attitude towards name days. Some people love them more than the birthday itself) Well, little things - holidays are different. A family dinner when everyone is invited is Christmas. New Year is a reason for young people to go to the disco, and on January 2nd, if you please, go to work!

It is better to have lunch, especially at work, with someone. At first it was annoying, but now it’s normal to tell my colleagues, they say, book a place for me in a restaurant. If it is lunch or dinner on the card, and not a set lunch, then order several dishes to “share” with everyone. Married men, especially with children, share the hardships of life in half with their spouses. But this mostly applies to young people, no older than forty.

Husband is Canadian

There is much more mutual understanding with him than with Russian men. But I still struggle with some habits. I don’t like it when people sit with the curtains closed in the electric light during the day - I often encounter this here. And I also have a “law of surfaces” - what was standing somewhere on the floor on the dining table is not placed, etc. But the locals are very calm about this; they can pour water into the kitchen sink after washing the floors.

People eat Russian dishes, sometimes I cook according to requests. But no one eats caviar, and that's a shame. Sometimes I want it, but even a small jar is too much for me. And no one drinks cognac except me.

Husband is Japanese

In this country, a foreign wife will never be her own, and this will be demonstrated to her, although not out of spite. She is forever a stranger. And it’s harder for her to find a job than for a Japanese woman. You will have to get used to the fact that all the money and all the property belong to the husband. He even receives child benefits into his bank account. In general, a Japanese husband must be chosen even more carefully than any foreigner. The wife will be very financially dependent.

It would never occur to a Japanese man to help around the house in any way. The requests will surprise him. He won’t take his cup from the table to the sink. Even very kind and loving. At most, he will go for a walk with the children to make it easier for his wife to clean up. It is not customary for wives to help carry heavy bags or give gifts. In fact, within five years you can teach him to help a little, for example, throw dirty socks in washing machine. But this will require enormous effort.

When a Japanese husband comes home in the evening, everything should be perfect: dinner is ready, the house is clean, the children are cutely dressed. And no girlfriends in his house! There is a day for girlfriends. If your husband suddenly comes earlier than usual, and you are drinking tea with a Japanese friend, the Japanese woman will blow herself up and, constantly bowing and apologizing, will literally run away.

And one more detail - the husband and wife hardly talk here, this is normal. He may even love her very much. But I have no idea what to talk about here. He expresses his love in two ways: either he earns more so that his wife can afford nice personal purchases, or he finds time to be at home and go somewhere with the whole family for a walk.

The article was prepared by Lilith Mazikina

Want to receive one interesting unread article per day?

Evgeniya, 35 years old

married to Andreas, 38 years old, Germany, Dusseldorf

“I never thought that I would marry a foreigner, especially a German. We met in my hometown Yekaterinburg at a party in a bar. Andreas turned out to be an engineer, he was on a business trip to one of the Ural factories. I thought this was a great opportunity to practice my English. At that time, I had a rather biased attitude towards Germany and the Germans in particular - perhaps because my grandfather went through the whole war. Our family carefully preserves his memory and treats this period of history with reverence. Therefore, when Andy asked me on a date on February 23, I refused, because I considered agreeing to be a sign of disrespect for my grandfather’s memory.

A couple of months later, his business trip ended, he left, but our communication continued on Skype: we fell in love with each other already at a distance. Every evening I ran home from work, dressed nicely, combed my hair and sat down in front of my laptop. These were real dates - the same as at a table in a cafe. I realized that chemistry between people can arise through a monitor.

For the next two years we met in different countries where Andy had business trips. My job designing and opening restaurants allowed me to travel frequently, and Andy fully paid for my trips to see him. It was a romantic and passionate period of our relationship, but I wanted more. Almost three years have passed since our first meeting, and only then Andy declared his love to me. This was followed by meeting my parents, and he formally asked for my hand in marriage. My family received him well and were happy for me. Mom even signed up for German language courses to communicate with her future son-in-law.

By this point, I was already mentally prepared to move. My attitude towards Germany changed when I first attended an internship in Cologne. I liked the country, I saw how friendly the Germans are, how orderly and clean they are in everything. I moved my two cats, whom I could not part with, to a new place of residence.

On the day of the marriage registration, an hour before going to the town hall, Andy refused to go and said that he was not ready to get married

After moving to Dusseldorf, I lived on a tourist visa, then on a student visa. Germany is a very bureaucratic country: to register a marriage here, you need to go through several stages. One of them is obtaining a fiancé visa. Andy delayed the paperwork, and I was forced to go home - my student visa had expired. In Russia, I was refused at the German consulate. Because of this delay, we were separated for several more months. I was in limbo: the proposal had been made, but I was still a Fraulein, not a Frau. But the main test was ahead. On the day of the marriage registration, an hour before going to the town hall, Andy refused to go and said that he was not ready to get married. Maybe I had a presentiment of this - the day before he was very tense, so I reacted very calmly. I wasn’t hysterical, but I started packing my things. It so happened that it was impossible to leave immediately with things and cats. Therefore, I was forced to stay for several days, and he managed to realize that he had made a mistake and asked for forgiveness. But I still left, explaining that we needed to think about everything from a distance.

Five months passed before I returned to Germany again. We got married right away and got married a year later.
His family looked at me with caution at first, since in Germany there is still an opinion that all Russians, as was the case in the 90s, dream of moving to Europe. Although I, for example, had to give up an expensive car that I had in Russia, now I have a simpler car, and mink coat, because in my husband’s circle young people don’t dress like that. Furs, without which the Ural winter is unthinkable, are only worn here by older ladies.

The Germans are not hospitable people; it is not customary for them to come to their parents’ house and climb into the refrigerator. If you are invited for coffee, then only coffee will be poured. There was a funny incident at Christmas at his parents' house when appetizers were served and I ate a little of everything, expecting that they would serve main course and dessert, but they never did. In Germany, I diligently studied German and briefly worked in a Russian company as a simple administrator. It was my own initiative. Andy fully provides for our family, but I also plan to work. In German families, it is customary to divide everything in half: both income and housework. In our family we have equal rights and make all decisions together.

In July our son Alexander was born. In Russia, a newborn is not shown to anyone except loved ones for a month, even in photographs. In Germany, already on the day of birth, the husband’s relatives crowded into the maternity hospital. I lay exhausted with the child, and they unceremoniously entered the room and took pictures of us, took selfies in front of us. After discharge everything continued. Daily visits, relatives, without taking off their shoes, grab the child, kiss him, take pictures. I was just shaking! I took it out on my husband, but he sincerely did not understand me and was offended. The only thing we managed to do was teach them to wash their hands before they pick up the baby.
Despite our different mentalities and characters, we realized that we wanted to be together. The path to our family was long and difficult, but we both passed the test of the strength of our feelings.”

Ekaterina, 31 years old

married to Takeshi, 50, Tokyo, Japan

In Japan, a cult of men is maintained; women are in the background. When they leave the house together, the husband proudly walks ahead, and the wife minces after him.

After we moved to Tokyo, we did not meet his parents immediately, but several months later. I am grateful to them for their delicacy; they did not rush me and gave me time to adapt to the new place. The meeting took place on neutral territory, in a restaurant. They asked me about my parents, activities, hobbies. I gave gifts to my Japanese mother-in-law, she especially liked warm woolen socks and Orenburg down scarf- Japanese houses are cool in winter. She is a very insightful person - she saw that her son had started a family and was happy. What else does a loving mother need? Now we communicate warmly, the grandmother loves her granddaughter.

I accepted the way of life that exists in Japan, although it was very difficult for me. The cult of men is maintained here, with women in the background. But at home, as a rule, the wife manages everything, including finances, giving her husband a small amount for lunch. But when they leave the house together, the husband proudly walks ahead, and the wife minces after him.

I didn’t understand why I couldn’t go to a cafe with my friend in the evening, because in Moscow after work we always met the girls in a restaurant. And Japanese wives only go out in the evenings accompanied by their husbands.

It will be difficult for an impatient person to settle down here; many things will irritate him. I don’t have Japanese friends, we are too different. In Japan, you have to be part of some kind of community, a team, otherwise you are not perceived as an equal. I understand that I will not be able to work for Japanese organizations or government agencies. It is almost impossible for a foreigner to get there. I found a way out of the situation: I’m getting a higher education at a Russian university, studying remotely and writing about Japan for various publications.

Our joint hobby with my husband is going to restaurants. We love to eat delicious food, and in Japan there is a cult of food. I also liked the Japanese tradition: bathing in hot springs - onsen.

My husband is more cosmopolitan than traditional Japanese: he travels a lot around the world and has a broad outlook. Our house is also not traditional Japanese, but European. My husband and I speak Russian, although I am diligently learning Japanese. Our daughter Victoria is three years old and already speaks both languages.”

Alla, 29 years old

married to Mauricio, 44, Las Vegas, USA

“My husband is an American citizen, Ecuadorian by nationality, and a true Latino in spirit. He was born and raised in Ecuador in a family of musicians, and graduated from the conservatory in saxophone class. He is now a member of the US Army Band.

When we met, I was only 23. But I had two higher education degrees and a promising job in the marketing department of an international trading company. I earned good money, traveled a lot and didn’t think about marriage at all. Once on vacation in Germany, my friend and I went to night club. A chance acquaintance with Mauricio did not foretell anything. We spent a couple of days together and I left. For some time we corresponded languidly by e-mail, and suddenly he unexpectedly flew to me in St. Petersburg. I immediately felt that he was serious about me.

Then I went to visit him in Las Vegas for a return visit. We spent two fantastic weeks together and became really close. Mauro proposed to me, but I was not ready to give up everything. I replied that I needed to think about it. On the one hand, I was in love and he did not back down, but on the other, my boss painted me bright prospects in the company. I was torn by doubts. On New Year's Day, Mauricio sent me a one-way ticket with the words: come - or our relationship will end.

With two degrees - an economist and a translator - I, with my ambitions and independent character, ended up as an American housewife in Las Vegas

It was a difficult period for me. I had to explain myself to my parents, since they were not aware of my relationship, and quit my job. I reassured myself that I could always go back, that, in general, I was not losing anything.
After I moved, we agreed to live together for a few months before the wedding. At that time, we still looked at each other warily and got used to each other. I was uncomfortable taking money from him, I wanted to work, but I was in the USA on a tourist visa, and I did not have such a right.

When the time came, we decided not to have a big wedding, because our parents are thousands of kilometers away from us. We got married in the best traditions of Las Vegas: Wedding Dress for 25 dollars, a random passerby as a witness, simple registration. We compensated for the modest ceremony with a luxurious honeymoon in Hawaii and Mexico.

After returning from the trip, reality appeared before me: I, with two degrees - an economist and a translator - with my own ambitions and independent character, found myself as an American housewife in Las Vegas. A house with a pool, a car, a credit card, a lot of free time. Any fairy tale begins to get boring when it drags on. I tried to find a job, sent out my resume, but received in response “You do not have an American education for this job” or - for simpler vacancies - “You are very highly qualified for this job.” That is, I had two options - either get a higher education in America and spend another 5-6 years, or go work at McDonald's. Pregnancy saved me from depression. I learned Spanish, went to yoga and wrote a book.

The painful issue with my education was resolved when our son was already 2 years old. My FINEK diploma in economics was recognized by the American education system, although I had to confirm it with a 1.5-year study. But as soon as I started studying, it turned out that I was pregnant again. But that didn't stop me. I'm going to get a job because I don't see myself as a housewife.

There are no longer Russian or Ecuadorian traditions in our family. We live in America and celebrate holidays according to their calendar. And how can I combine them, if my husband is a Catholic, he has his own Catholic holidays, and for me the important days of the year are March 8 and May 9. I have strong patriotic feelings, I am proud that I am Russian, so I am in no hurry to obtain American citizenship. At first, we had serious disputes on topics of politics and world history. To my husband, the history of the world is the American version of history. He was convinced that victory in World War II was entirely the merit of the United States. I introduced him to my grandmother, a war veteran. It was a shock for him to see an eyewitness to those distant events, and even more so to hear about the war first-hand. Now we try to avoid these topics.

Sometimes we have translation difficulties, because we speak English among ourselves, and this language is not native to both of us. He thinks in Spanish, and I think in Russian. Any family is work, no matter whether ordinary or international. I realized this early. The question is whether both partners want to change, whether there is a desire to understand each other. Due to his age, it is much more difficult for my husband to change something in himself (he is 15 years older than me), and I decided to work more on myself.

It is possible that after Mauricio comes out military pension, we will move to his homeland in Ecuador. I really liked this country."

Elena, 48 years old

married to Recep, 56 years old, Türkiye, Alanya

“12 years ago I was on vacation in Turkey. I was 36 years old, I worked as a chief accountant in a large Moscow company, I was married, raising children. I flew in for a week’s vacation alone, but I wasn’t looking for adventure at all, I even lay on the beach with the tax code in my hands.

He saw me at a national dance concert, spotted me in a huge crowd of spectators, and found out which hotel I was from. We just chatted. Recep turned out to be a doctor, he also had a family and children. But he admitted that he family bonds on the verge of breaking. I felt how lonely he was, it seemed to me that he was looking for a person who would understand him.

My marriage was also falling apart at the seams at that time. I was the head of the family, and I also earned money, traveling every day from Podolsk to Moscow. And my husband preferred to spend time on the couch in company with a bottle of beer. The only thing that kept me close to this man at that moment was the children.

Previously - in disputes with ex-husband - the last word was left to me. Now - in our Turkish family - beat the boss

My Turkish Bey (respectful address to a man in Turkey. - Note ed.) didn’t forget me - he sent text messages, called me constantly, and then invited me to visit and immediately took me to his parents. You need to explain that if a Turk takes you to meet your parents, then his intentions are serious. I was accepted as a daughter-in-law, my father gave me a ring.

With my family everything was different. My parents raised me strictly; in our family there are certain rules that I follow, even though I have long been an adult. When they found out about my novel, my father immediately told me that I had to make a choice. Of course, he was sure that I would stay with my husband. My choice came as a surprise to them: I filed for divorce. During this time, I compared Recep’s respectful attitude towards me and my husband’s indifferent, consumerist attitude. My eyes were opened: I realized that I was no longer ready to endure his drunkenness and aggression, even for the sake of the children. And my parents supported me, my mother said that she would look after the children, and I could go and build my happiness. My children became friends with Recep; my daughter was under his supervision all summer when she worked at a hotel in Alanya.

I moved to Turkey only after his official divorce, and we got married three years later. At first he paid benefits ex-wife, then we waited for his daughter to leave to study in another city. All this time I felt uncomfortable in a new, and even Muslim, country, without the status of a spouse. In my heart, I began to doubt him and thought about returning to Russia, but I decided to talk again, and, as I felt, he began to draw up the paperwork. Now I am a Turkish citizen.

Of course, at first it was difficult for us to understand each other. Language, religion, upbringing - everything is different. We had to give in to each other, although my husband doesn’t know how to apologize. I learned to remain silent, not to answer rashly, to avoid sharp corners. There was no question of religion among us; conversion to Islam was not forced upon me. Previously, in disputes with my ex-husband, I had the last word. Now - in our Turkish family - beat the boss. Here it is customary to respect your husband, father, there is no other way. If I leave home somewhere, I ask for time off in advance. My husband is generally sensitive to my absences; it is important for him to see me around all the time. We work together in a medical clinic, he is a doctor, and I do the administrative part of the work.

Yes, I gave up my independence. There was so much freedom in Moscow that I got tired of it. I could come home very late and not answer to anyone. Now, in order to go to the theater or ballet, I have to develop a whole plan and prepare answers to all my husband’s questions in advance. To do this, I organize a group consisting of women and children, buy tickets, and rent a bus. The fact is that Recep is not a fan of theater at all; it is difficult for him to understand how necessary it is for my Russian soul.

I accepted this new reality and saw that I was so important to a person that he always wanted to be with me. Seeing his attitude towards me, I myself wanted to change and changed.

Over the years, we learned to trust each other, and love did not go away, it just became calmer. We like to sit in our living room in the evening, and everyone does their own thing: I write or draw something, he reads his medical literature. We can just be silent, the main thing is to be close.”

Every girl in childhood dreamed of meeting a handsome, fairy-tale prince. With age, for many, this desire develops into something more. Many of our compatriots in adulthood dream of going out

The ratio of women to men in Russia is not encouraging: there are 10 million more women in our country. The search for a groom abroad is also favored by other factors: an unstable economic situation, uncertainty about the future, and the banal addiction of local men to alcohol. Looking at all this, your hand reaches out to fill out a form on a dating service website. In this article we will figure out where to start looking for a groom, in which country to look for him, the pros and cons of this union, as well as how to marry a foreigner .

Content:

Married to a foreigner. Where to begin?

First, you must decide in which country you would like to find a groom. There are a number of factors that need to be paid attention to: mentality, religion, welfare and attitude towards women in the country. After all, in a new place you will be completely alone, your family, friends and relatives will remain in your homeland.

Free international dating site Free-russian-dating.net will help you get married to a foreigner

After completing the first point of our plan, we will proceed to the second. Learning the language of the chosen country is no less important. If, when you find yourself in a new environment, you don’t know the language, then how are you going to communicate with your loved one? Therefore, right now, run to sign up for courses, buy tutorials and download special programs on the Internet.

We should not forget about such important factors as the rate of divorce and the number of cases of domestic violence. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze the representatives of each state separately, highlighting their pros and cons.

Where to meet a foreign husband?

Most often, in the matter of marrying a foreigner and searching Serious relationships online dating services are used. There are a lot of these services. Talking about free dating services, then among the popular: Free-Russian-Dating.NET And Lovemage.

Trials of the first year after marriage to a foreigner

At first, it will seem to you that you are in a fairy tale, but then the realities of life will begin. In the first year of your marriage, you will face a number of problems:

The language barrier . No matter how well you speak the language of the new state, you will still encounter a language barrier. Even if your fiancé speaks Russian, almost everyone around you will not be able to communicate with you. Having lived for a year or more in new country, you will master the language better and during this long journey you will definitely have a loved one next to you, so you can cope.

Attitude of others. They will look at you askance. And there is no way to get rid of this. For many foreigners, you will be something of a strange animal. This is how not only strangers will treat you, but also your husband’s inner circle. After all, it’s difficult to understand why he chose you, and not an insanely profitable passion from his compatriots. In this situation, you can expect help not only from your husband, but also from his close relatives. Often, girls who have gone abroad say that their first aid was provided to them by their husband’s brothers and sisters, after which many of them even became friends. Maybe you will be lucky and your husband’s relatives will accept you as their own.

Laws. Laws are a problem for many expats. In Europe, driving rules are significantly different from ours. So you can expect a huge number of fines in the first months of your stay. But driving rules are not the worst. Because in other countries there are a large number of laws that seem ridiculous to us. For example, in Germany you can be detained even if you simply drop cellophane on the ground. Even if you pick it up right away. Therefore, before moving to a new country, you should study the laws of this state in detail so as not to find yourself in the most ridiculous situations.

Citizenship. In this article we have already talked about the difficulties of obtaining citizenship. However, to obtain citizenship you will have to knock on many thresholds of various authorities, collecting certificates along the way. The paperwork will last for a long time, but after receiving the treasured document, new opportunities will open up for you. That is, you will be a full-fledged resident of the new state with all privileges.

Job . It seems that nothing is easier than finding a job a good specialist. This is far from true if you live in a new state. To get a decent job in a foreign land, you will have to re-learn your profession, and then also pass exams. A diploma confirmation procedure is also possible. Another problem may be the language test that all visitors must pass. Therefore, we remind you once again that it is paramount to learn the language. But not all beauties who migrated face such problems - their husband simply provides for them completely, and they, in turn, take care of the housework and raising children.

Communication. It is difficult for all people without communication. Especially in a new country. After all, you remember that there will be no friends and relatives next to you. Therefore, in your first year in a new country, you should make friends. The husband's friends and relatives, and, of course, himself can help in this matter. Who else but the closest person will help at the most difficult moment. But don't forget about social networks. It is in social On networks you can communicate with your old friends, and it’s also very easy to make new acquaintances there.

The first year will be the most difficult. But don’t be afraid of difficulties, there is already a person next to you who is ready to support you even in the most difficult situation.

And those girls who go abroad for greedy reasons should be reminded that you can’t sit on two chairs. If you are getting married only for the sake of improving your living conditions, then it is better for you to leave this goal. This is not as easy as it seems, you need to think carefully, because you are exchanging your happiness for money.

Specific advice if you want to marry a foreigner

No matter how your relationship with a foreigner develops, you must follow a few simple tips and rules:

• As we have said many times, the first thing you should do when going abroad is to learn the language. If you do not know the language at least at a basic level, then you will be tied hand and foot. You will not be able to communicate with new people, you will not be able to get a job new job, you simply will not be able to communicate with the seller in the supermarket;
• you must have a financial reserve that no one except you will know about. After all, it is unknown what can happen to you in a foreign land;
• take all documents with you, even those that may not be needed. In the worst case your new husband may throw you out onto the street. Then the document (as well as the money we talked about in the previous paragraph) will be very useful to you. If this happens to you, you can immediately file for divorce, contact the embassy, ​​or simply buy a ticket to your homeland;
• On your first visit abroad, leave your children at home;
• Make friends with your husband's friends and relatives as soon as possible. It is these people who form the worldview of your chosen one. Despite even the greatest love, everything can be ruined by his mother or best friend who won’t like the way you iron his shirt, or the way you fry eggs in the morning;
• immediately after moving, try to make new friends. Communication via Skype is, of course, good, but you should have someone who can support you and to whom you can cry into your vest;
• In all developed countries of the world there are a huge number of different organizations for the protection of women's rights. Before you marry a foreigner (while still at home), you should find out the phone numbers and addresses of such organizations. They can be useful in various situations. Of course, it’s better that it doesn’t come to this, but this is life and it’s better to be prepared for anything than to just sit on your suitcases at the nearest train station.

If you have experience in matters of foreign marriage or you want to express your opinion, then be sure to leave