How to properly punish a child so as not to harm him? Rewarding and punishing children in the family 3 year old child incentive measures

Some mothers and fathers use physical force, others ignore their offspring for a long time or put them in a corner, others deprive them of the promised privileges, and others generally leave serious offenses without consequences.

Where are the limits of permissible exposure and for what offenses should children be punished? Many psychologists are convinced that it is impossible to raise a child without punishment, but they must take into account his age and the severity of the offense.

Experts advise remembering important rules education of children, which should be taken into account when choosing the most effective and gentle method of disciplinary action.

Is punishing children justified?

A child who is beaten by moms and dads for any offense, constantly threatened to be given to Babayka or a dire wolf, left in a corner or dark room for several hours, often boycotted for a long time, can, without a doubt, be called unhappy.

Such methods of education in the future will certainly come back to haunt you with a decrease in self-esteem, a feeling of distrust in the world around you, and dislike.

We can say that such disciplinary methods used by some parents cannot be attributed to education; in fact, they are ordinary cruelty.

However, absolute permissiveness is also not the best option. If a younger child becomes convinced that everything is allowed to him and that nothing will happen to him for it, then there will be no distinction between actions as good and bad.

Very frequently asked question parents sounds like this: how to behave if... A separate article by a child psychologist is devoted to this topic.

It turns out that punishment is still necessary, but this understanding does not protect parents from mistakes. For some reason, older children begin to remember how they were shouted at in front of everyone, spanked undeservedly with a belt, or put in a corner “just because.”

Punishment must be effective - it is important that the teenager’s behavior changes for the better and he understands that doing so is completely unacceptable.

Unfortunately, most children do not do something not because they understand the futility or shortsightedness of their action, but because they are afraid of being caught and the corresponding punishment.

Adequate punishment, according to psychologists, has several important tasks, among them:

correcting dangerous or unwanted child behavior;
control over previously defined boundaries of what is permitted;
support of parental authority;
compensation for damage caused by the child;
prevention unwanted behavior in future.

Thus, most experts are inclined to believe that punishment is still necessary. All that remains is to understand at what age to do this, for what and how to “punish”, and how to demonstrate to the child that his parents still love him.

As evidenced by developmental psychology, children under two years of age cannot grasp the connection between their incorrect behavior and disciplinary measures from their parents.

For example, Japanese parents generally do not punish children under three years of age. Until this period, the little ones are allowed literally everything. But after turning 3 years old, the child’s life is strictly regulated, including penalties for offenses.

Despite age characteristics, already in the lives of infants, strict and clear prohibitions should appear, which, however, should not be supported by corporal punishment. For example, a child should not hit his mother or stick his fingers into a socket.

Children one to two years old should also not be punished. At this age, it is better for parents to use simple distraction, transferring the child’s attention to another object or phenomenon. You should also explain the undesirability of this or that behavior, emphasizing the words “no” and “impossible” intonationally.

For “retribution” to have a positive effect, it is necessary, regardless of the child’s age, follow some rules:

Maintain consistency. Punishment should follow the same actions. Also should not be ignored childish disobedience, even if you have no time or don’t know how to behave in this case.
Consider the severity of the offense. A little mischief or a first-time offense should only merit a warning. Bad behavior (whether malicious or intentional) should result in a serious response.
Limit the length of punishment. Always communicate the duration of the disciplinary measure, otherwise the child will soon lose the connection between the violation and the restriction, which lasts a whole month.
Act calmly. First of all, you need to calm down, and only then approach the choice of punishment. Otherwise, inadequate measures may be taken.
Agree on a decision with your spouse. To avoid manipulation, you need to agree on all the rules, restrictions and punishments with your husband or wife.
Set a positive example. In order for a child to behave correctly, you need to show examples of the desired behavior. Politeness and honesty are encouraged.
Consider the child's characteristics. For example, a melancholic person should be punished less severely (or differently) than a sanguine person. The age of the offender should also be taken into account.
Discipline your child in private. This should be praised publicly, but punishment should concern only you and the child. Such privacy is needed so as not to traumatize the child’s self-esteem.
Develop a ritual of reconciliation. It will be useful to develop a special ritual that will mark the end of the punishment. For example, you can read a poem and interlace your little fingers. The latter option, by the way, is even good for health.

Another important and relevant information that explains why. All parents need to know this!

The punishment is only small and not the most significant part raising children. It is imperative to reward the child for good deeds, thereby encouraging character traits such as kindness, politeness, and hard work.

Constructive methods of punishing a child

So, the basic rules for applying disciplinary measures are known. Now it remains to figure out how to properly punish a child and what kind of loyal Punishment methods can be included in your parenting arsenal.

Revocation of privileges. This method is especially suitable for teenagers. As a punishment, you can use restriction of access to a computer or TV.
Correcting what was done. If a child deliberately painted the tabletop with a felt-tip pen, hand him a rag and detergent- Let him correct his wrongdoing.
Time-out. The little “bully” is placed in a separate room for a few minutes (one minute for each year). There should be no toys, laptop, or cartoons in the room.
Apology. If your child has offended someone, you need to force him to apologize and, if possible, correct the situation. For example, draw a picture instead of a torn picture.
Ignoring. It is more suitable for small children, but this method cannot be used too often. Refuse to communicate with the mischievous child and leave the room.
Having a negative experience. In some situations, you need to allow the child to do what he wants. Naturally, you need to make sure that the child does not harm himself.
Limiting communication with peers. In case of a serious offense, it is worth introducing a “curfew” for a short period of time, limiting the child’s communication with friends.
Assignment of Responsibilities. In response to his misconduct, his parents assign him “community service.” This could be extra washing of dishes, cleaning the living room, etc.

Don't forget about one more thing effective method- blame and condemnation. Taking into account the age and severity of the offense, parents talk about why the child’s behavior is wrong and what unpleasant feelings it caused.

Knowing how to properly discipline a child is really important. However, it is necessary to understand that there are certain taboos when it comes to choosing disciplinary measures.

Incorrect behavior by adults can lead to protests, difficulties in learning, isolation and reluctance of children to communicate with their own parents. Resentment can continue into the future.

What extremes should be avoided when assigning punishments? Experts advise avoiding several excesses:

Humiliation. The disciplinary measure chosen must in no way undermine the dignity of the child. That is, one cannot say that he is a fool, stupid, etc.
Harm to health. We are talking not only about spanking, but also about such cruel methods of education as squatting, dousing with cold water, and forcing people to starve. Children should also not be placed on their knees in a corner.
Simultaneous punishment for several mistakes. The correct principle: one “sin” – one punishment. It is best to punish for the most serious offense.
Public punishment. As already noted, punishment in public causes psychological trauma to a teenager or damages his reputation in the children's group.
Unreasonable refusal of punishment. Be consistent: if you decide to take action, keep your promise. Otherwise, you risk losing your credibility.
Deferred punishment. You cannot force a child to wait, to suffer because of the expectation of the inevitable “punishment”, or to imagine what awaits him. This is a kind of moral bullying of children.

In addition, restrictions and punishments should not be used as retaliation or as a preventive measure. It is important to approach this process extremely carefully and thoughtfully. After all, the main task is to improve the child’s behavior, and not to spoil the relationship with him.

Probably, not a single issue of parental education methods causes such heated discussion as the physical impact on the child. Many experts are categorically against such a disciplinary measure, but some parents still use it.

Usually mothers and fathers give the following argument as an excuse: “My parents beat me, and that’s okay - I grew up no worse than the rest.”

Additionally, numerous Russian sayings and proverbs that condone spanking come to mind. Like, hit the child until it fits across the bench...

However, opponents of physical punishment cite other arguments that seem, perhaps, more “reinforced concrete.” In addition to the fact that punishing a child with a belt is painful and offensive, you should also remember the likely results of such a method of education.

So, the consequence of the use of bodily influence may be:

injury to a child (due to excessive use of force);
psychological trauma (fears, low self-esteem, social phobia, etc.);
aggressiveness;
the desire to rebel for any reason;
desire for revenge;
damaged parent-child relationships.

Thus, the father's belt is not The best way raising children. Cruelty will definitely make itself felt, even if problems appear not now, but in the distant future.

For more information about the disastrous consequences that parental cruelty can lead to, read the article by a child psychologist.

Many experts are convinced that it is worth distinguishing between cruelty and light physical influence on a child in order to stop unwanted behavior.

An example is a situation where a frightened mother angrily spanks her small child who ran onto a busy road and almost fell under the wheels of a vehicle. It is believed that such physical influence does not humiliate children, but attracts attention.

As a conclusion

Punishment is an ambiguous method, so there are many opinions and judgments about the possibility and desirability of its use. It is necessary to briefly summarize the above and voice the most important and useful thoughts.

There is no ideal child. A child is a person who has desires that do not always coincide with the requirements of his parents. The result of this contradiction is punishment.
It makes no sense to punish children under 2-3 years of age, since they do not yet understand the relationship between their actions and parental influence.
Important to consider possible reasons disobedience, sometimes knowledge of motives leads to refusal to apply punishment.
Children should not be punished for their desire to learn. the world, for the desire to help or careless actions. But malicious actions must be punished.
All issues regarding disciplinary measures must be agreed upon with all family members.
It is better to use constructive methods of influencing the child, which should help correct the child’s behavior.
Physical punishment (if possible), threats, and offensive actions should be avoided. It is the offense that needs to be condemned, not the child’s personality.

The question of how to punish a child for disobedience or a serious offense must be decided independently by each parent. The most important thing in such a situation is to choose the most constructive method that will help change children's behavior.

However, you should not go too far with disciplinary measures. It is best to explain to the child, without shouting or punishment, why his behavior is wrong and how to behave in a given situation. Parental advice, spoken with respect, will definitely be heard by children.

Anastasia Repina
Encouraging children: how and why to encourage

When children behave badly, they attract everyone's attention; when they behave well, no one is surprised. However, children very often wait for approval for their actions and try to earn praise.

At all times, parents have been concerned with questions about optimal upbringing children in the family - how reward and punish so that it contributes to the development of a harmonious personality.

Promotion and punishment is the simplest means of parental influence. They provide parents with the opportunity to express their attitude towards the child’s actions. And each parent has his own established opinion about punishments and rewards for the child.

Most parents, as practice shows, give preference to punishment, and psychologists who deal with behavior problems and advise parents on methods of effective interaction with children focus on a positive approach. They advise parents to switch attention from the child’s misdeeds to his good deeds. A positive approach is expressed primarily in promotions and awards, that is, in favorable consequences.

Encouragement is recognition, approval of actions, agreement with them. This is the exact opposite of punishment. He explains to the children what it is "Fine" how you can and should do it. Promotion is a positive component of a full upbringing. Unfortunately, it is not given due attention, little is said and little is written about it. Everyone knows about it, but everyone imagines and uses it encouragement in your own way. Someone gives him a fundamental role and uses only him in education. Some people think that the main thing is to stop bad actions, but encouragement only spoils children. How many people, so many opinions.

Importance encouraging children

Children preschool age very susceptible to incentives. Words of approval and praise from adults are for them a stimulus for self-affirmation in positive actions and confidence in their own capabilities. Approval, expressed in a timely and skillful manner, awakens a healthy pride: the slow one tries to be nimble, the careless one who performs the task strives to catch up and do everything better.

In order to encouragement was an assessment of children's behavior and acquired a moral connotation, it was necessary that it contained such specific definitions as "obedient", "Kind", "polite", "hardworking", "attentive", "caring", "honest", "generous" etc. These words seem to emphasize the moral meaning of a particular action. Despite the disagreements, encouragement plays a big role, a significant role in education children. Forms personal qualities, directs to the right behavior. Thanks to encouragement the child feels included in life, noticed, cared for, and needed. This has a positive effect on the psychological state and emotions. Besides, encouragement teaches good deeds, shows that people really need them.

With the help of this method of education, the following qualities and traits are developed: character: kindness; responsibility; justice; accuracy; honesty; ability to learn; confidence; self-control and many others.

But there is in promoting your characteristics. It does not always carry a positive line. Thoughtless, incorrect use is fraught with not the best consequences. If regularly encourage without reason, just like that, or, worse, for bad deeds, then the child will begin to show that he is spoiled. This will manifest itself in his capriciousness, unwillingness to listen to his parents, or take into account the opinion of anyone. Bad deeds, actions, words will become more frequent, and the child will sincerely think that he is doing everything right, as it should.

Not everything is as simple as it seems. Therefore, it is important to know how to use such a lightweight and accessible method education.

Methods promotions

Promotion It is used in all areas of activity and has its own results. Works regardless of age on children and adults. For example, to motivate good quality work and perform job duties, employees are awarded bonuses and certificates of honor. Already from this we can draw conclusions about the effectiveness of the impact promotions. For children use their own methods.

Praise is the most common, widely used, universal encouragement. Involves a verbal form of influence. The child is praised for his good deeds, they tell him that he did the right thing, his actions are supported and approved by adults. When using this method, you need to choose words and intonation. You need to praise not the child himself (you can do this at any time, but his specific action. For example, words “what a fine fellow you are” better to replace with “thank you, you helped me a lot, I appreciate it”.

Affection is aimed at showing tenderness. This includes hugs, kisses, approving strokes on the head and back. They are no less important to the child than the words of the parents and speak volumes. The main thing is that he feels love and warmth. This form of praise is used more often with young children.

Additional time for joint games, activities, entertainment. This is a way to motivate promotions. Often used to get the child to take necessary actions. That is, in order to receive a reward, he is asked to fulfill some condition. For example: “as soon as you tidy up the toys, we’ll go play on the playground”.

Removing prohibitions, expanding rights. If a child behaves in an exemplary manner and helps his parents, he can be encourage, allowing him to do what was previously prohibited to him. Depending on age and independence, for example, go to bed an hour later than usual, make decisions together with adults. This method promotions can be used for general good behavior, independent of each individual positive action.

Has an excellent effect on children encouragement when parents involve their child in working together. It is well known that children want to wash, sew, cook dinner, and make crafts like mom or dad. As encouragement is possible, for example, allowing you to wash handkerchiefs, help mom set the table for guests, or help dad repair a bicycle, check the serviceability of the floor polisher. Participation in the affairs of adults, of course, is a great joy for a preschooler. And how much pride does a child feel when he tells kindergarten his peers: “Dad and I fixed it...” “Mom and I received guests!” etc. Of course encouragement– requires adults to take into account the child’s age and interests.

Sweets, toys, and other rewards are very strong motivation. To prevent the child from waiting and demanding a financial incentive for every good deed in the future, this method must be used with caution. It is better not to tie gifts to specific actions of the child. Or use them as a reward for tasks that require a long time to complete, such as graduating with honors from an academic year.

Best result promotions achieved by simultaneous use of several of its methods.

Rules promotions

In order to encouragement performed an educational function, explained what "Fine", taught to act as the situation requires, it is necessary to use it correctly. Here are a few rules to follow.

1. Any encouragement must be fair, consistent with behavior and actions children. It is inappropriate to praise, remove prohibitions, give gifts for all the little things, especially same type: he put on tights, a T-shirt, buttoned up his jacket, etc. And vice versa, you cannot ignore the more significant and teaching something actions: the kid helped his mother clean the house, washed the dishes, the teenager helped an elderly person cross the road.

2. Don't encourage children out of pity. Suppose the baby was hurt or pushed. It would not be right to calm him down with chocolate or candy. He needs support and help. It is better to give him advice on how to act in similar situations.

3. If the goal is to win over the child and please him, then bribery with praise, affection and gifts is inappropriate. The first step is to establish friendly, trusting relationships with him through communication.

4. It is necessary to gradually wean the child from constant material rewards for specific actions. Otherwise, he will begin to demand his legitimate, as it seems to him, gifts. Actions should be done simply, unselfishly.

5. Praise children, always say what action you support so that they know what can and should be done.

When encouragement can be harmful?

As mentioned above, thoughtless use promotions may do more harm than good. Children will not see the boundaries of what is permitted, determine where it ends "Can" and it begins "it is forbidden". Perfectionism develops when, striving for the best result, they are not able to accept imperfections, they are very worried in case of failures. It is especially difficult for such children in adulthood, which will present difficult tasks and create obstacles. It will not be possible to always be the first, the best. Due to excessive praise children Inflated self-esteem, selfishness, and self-admiration are formed. There will be no respect for parents, adults, or peers.

Promotion- This is an integral part of education. Use it, guide children for good deeds, instilling only the positive qualities that a person should possess.

In conversations with parents, the teacher should explain that promotions are incompatible with indulging any absurd whim of a child. Only in combination with increasing demands do they bring desired result. Promotions then they have pedagogical value when they contribute to the satisfaction of reasonable needs and develop in the child a desire to please adults with his behavior.

Parents should know when to encourage their child so that he does not grow up to be a spoiled egoist. The correct methods of education allow you to get truly worthy results, so they need to be studied and put into practice.

Can incentives hurt?

Their beloved child behaves well and is not capricious - parents are delighted with their obedient son or daughter. Mom buys ice cream for the baby, dad takes him to the circus, thinking about how lucky they are to grow up. positive child. But in everything it is important to know when to stop, the reward can be detrimental:

Praise often makes a child seek approval from adults. Children stop enjoying the fact that they learn something new, they stop enjoying the creative process, their main goal becomes to impress others.

The kid who constantly hears his grandparents exclaiming: “Well done! You are the best!" often grows up to be a real egoist.

Children should not be bribed for “good” behavior, wanting an easy reward; little boys and girls quickly understand what role they should play, and as a result, they are easily manipulated by their parents. Kids seem ideal, they are obedient and modest, but in fact, this is only superficial.

Children behave as adults expect them to, on whom they want to make a good impression. It is important to know the specifics of encouraging a child so that honesty does not suffer.

Never belittle the dignity of other children by saying: “Your craft is better than Masha’s.” Let the child compete, but not with his peers, but with himself, then he will improve his results every time.

How to properly encourage children?

In order to raise their beloved child to be a worthy citizen, parents must have an accurate idea of what the child is entitled to praise for. You can present encouragement in the form of a long-awaited reward that needs to be earned.

There are simple rules for praising a child:

Praise not the baby, but the actions he has performed

Excessive praise can only do harm, the child develops inflated self-esteem, and quickly enough the beloved offspring will develop a high self-esteem. For example, your son or daughter cleaned the nursery, don’t rush with personal praise: “Well done! Good girl!

It is better to say: “Now the room is completely cleaned, it is clean, and it is pleasant to be in it.” The child will be able to appreciate your praise and will try to earn it again.

Tips for properly encouraging a child will help you avoid making personality assessments without hurting your child’s feelings. When your daughter brings you her next drawing, show your sincere interest in creative work, note the moments you especially liked in the drawing: “What a beautiful tree you turned out, it looks like a living one, you drew every leaf, and there are funny bunnies nearby.”

If you want to praise, choose your words carefully: it is important that the child can draw conclusions independently about his own skills. When a son helps his father carry a box to the gate, there is no need to claim that he is the strongest. Just tell your son that a heavy box is not easy to lift, and the boy will understand for himself that he is strong and his parents need his help.

Point out to your child the feelings he himself experiences when he achieves the desired result.

You should not just praise your child when he has done a job well; it is better to draw the child’s attention to his pleasure in the process of doing it. Little girls and boys are naturally interested in creative activity, any achievement for them is a new victory that delights them.

Admiration and joy make a child strive to achieve his goal and help build children’s perseverance.

You can't praise your child for ordinary things.

The benefits of encouraging children will be undeniable if you are not surprised every time you notice social skills in children. It is necessary for the child to understand that he can perform actions without praise.

Avoid cash incentives

If children are given money for washing the dishes or taking out the trash, then they focus exclusively on the external result. The child does not try to wash the dishes properly; he can throw a bag of garbage around the corner of the house; the main thing for him is to complete the process in order to receive the promised amount of money from his parents.

Mom and dad should pay the child’s attention to his own feelings, the baby should like the process itself, it is necessary that he experience joy from gaining new knowledge and happiness from the fact that he can help his parents.

The main forms of encouragement are based on trust; adults should not be afraid that something might not work out for their beloved child. Support your beloved child in his creative endeavors that are not dangerous to the baby’s health.

Photos of encouraging children

No shouting or punishment. Let's try to figure out why we don't always succeed, and find out what needs to be done to ensure that a peaceful and calm environment reigns in our home.

According to psychologists, parents often fail to achieve anything with words because they use the wrong parenting methods. Experts also note that big role The baby’s temperament also plays a role in this matter. Of course, in raising a child, there cannot be advice that would be equally suitable for each individual family. However, you should know the basic rules by following which you can build the right relationship.

Age crises in children

Sometimes parents misdiagnose their children's reasons. Moms and dads think that they are doing the wrong thing, contrary to prohibitions and out of spite. It turns out that the cause of whims and hysterics in many cases is an age crisis, which marks the main stages of a child’s growing up.

Stages of growing up of minor children:

From two to four years. This is the age when a child first begins to show his character. He wants to be more independent than his parents allow. Avoiding yelling and punishment at this age is quite easy.
Seven years. At this age, children become independent from their mothers and fathers in many matters. The difficulty is that at the age of seven a child may have authorities other than his parents.
Adolescence. Psychologists consider this period to be one of the most difficult in the life of every person.

Main rules of pedagogy

First of all, it should be noted that you cannot put pressure on your young children with authority and try in every possible way to restrain their independence. This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can raise a fairly obedient child. But on the other hand, this also threatens that as an adult he will not be able to take responsibility for his actions. Relationships between parents and children should be built on the principle of partnership.
Do not demand obedience from your child in the form of ultimatums and orders. It is much more correct to present your requests in the form of wishes.
Praise your child often for good deeds.
Never raise your voice when talking to your baby, do not lose your composure and remain calm.
Remember that you are an authority for children. Always be a positive example for them. Children see their parents as an ideal and carefully observe how they behave within the family circle and among strangers. Before you reprimand your child for breaking any rules, make sure you don't break them either.

Learning to punish children correctly

Some parents believe that they cannot be raised without punishment and yelling. They are sure that this is one of the components pedagogical process. In this case, mothers and fathers must strictly adhere to the boundaries of punishment. They should understand that the goal of education should never be revenge, and follow some rules:

There should be absolutely no violence in your relationship with your child. Even light spankings, supposedly as a joke, should be avoided.
Parents' demands must always be consistent. You cannot treat the same child’s offense differently at different times.
The child must know that disobedience will lead to bad consequences.
Punishment must be done immediately after the offense. Measures taken later will not be well received and will lose their effectiveness.
Punishment of children in the family should be temporary.
A bad deed should be discussed privately with the child.
You cannot insult or label your child. It is the specific action that is subject to condemnation, not the child’s personality.
Children should not remember their previous misdeeds. When discussing a child’s punishment, talk to him only about what he has done wrong now.

To spank or not to spank a child at 2 years old?

It is especially necessary to deal with the punishment of a child under three years of age. To scold the baby or not, what to do with a naughty baby? Some parents, without thinking, use physical force: they put him in a corner or spank him on the bottom. Other adults prefer to put moral pressure on the child, for example, they refuse to read to the child before bed or do not allow him to watch a cartoon.

fair,
unfair.

A measure of punishment following a violation of the rules that the parents and the child previously discussed is considered fair. If a child is punished unfairly, then as a result he receives a very strong offense, and his parents receive a deep sense of guilt. We are talking about situations in which there is a misunderstanding of the meaning of punishment. Therefore, mothers and fathers should be as specific as possible about their requirements for the child.

Also, parents often unfairly punish their children due to the influence of any situations that are not directly related to the behavior of the children. Adults must learn to control their psycho-emotional state. This will prevent children from being confused by their parents' inconsistent behavior.

The most tragic situation, according to psychologists, is when a child is punished because he is unloved. If parents find the strength to admit this, then they can try to correct the situation. Relationships with children of such parents should be built on a sense of duty.

Educators never tire of repeating that the main task of mothers and fathers is to raise their children with minimal psychological trauma.

Child encouragement methods

Method of encouraging a child to good behavior is selected based on his age. So, the younger the baby, the more tangible the encouragement should be for him. Can be given to a child new toy, which he had long wanted, or to play with him longer. Older children can be encouraged to go to the circus or entertainment complex next weekend. Older children have a better sense of time, so they will perceive this reward correctly.

Methods of punishment

When choosing methods of punishing a child, you must also take into account his age:

Insulation. If the child is guilty, he is either put in a corner or left in the room. There should be no entertainment nearby so that the child can calmly think about his offense and realize his guilt. The time of this punishment is very simple to calculate: no matter how old the child is, he should be isolated for so many minutes.
Deprivation of pleasures. If a naughty child has committed an unpleasant act, then as punishment it would be appropriate to deprive him of sweets or his favorite toy for a while.
Punishment of a child by a stranger. This method is very effective. Guys take criticism from strangers to heart, so you can ask a stranger to talk about the dangers of bad behavior.
Scream. This method should be used only in situations that are dangerous to the child’s health. You can yell at your child to make him stop the dangerous action. In other cases, this is not necessary. The baby, most likely, will not understand what the essence of the parental complaints is, but he will learn the style of such behavior perfectly and will apply it to you.
Strictness. Some parents only need to look sternly at their child, and he begins to reflect on his behavior. Excessive severity leads to the fact that the child begins to lie in order to avoid punishment.

Every parent is convinced from his own experience that raising a child is one of the most difficult missions in a person’s life. If adults have the knowledge of how to do this correctly, then raising a child in mutual understanding and love will be much easier for them.

No matter how much parents love their children, sometimes they have to resort to punishment. After all, by indulging your child, you risk raising an irresponsible teenager who will believe that everything is allowed to him. The main thing is not to go too far and not harm the child’s psyche. How to constructively punish a child?

10 rules for parents

Be consistent. Use the same discipline when your child misbehaves. Do not arbitrarily change the rules of conduct or punishment without a clear reason. Don't ignore your children's misdeeds, even if you find it difficult to do anything about them.
Set clear boundaries. Give your child an idea of how to behave and how not to behave from a very early age by setting clear boundaries of what is permitted.
Match the punishment to the crime. Little pranks or a first-time offense deserve only a warning, but deliberate disrespect or aggressive behavior will require a serious response. Keep in mind that children are not perfect and learn from mistakes, but they need to understand that their bad behavior is not acceptable.
Don't punish for long. The child will lose the connection between the offense and the ban on watching TV if it lasts two weeks. Punishment should be short-term but effective.
Keep calm. If you are constantly angry and raise your voice at your children so often that it has become commonplace, your anger will no longer affect them. It turns out that you will need to scream even louder for them to notice you.
Present a united front with your spouse. Agree with your husband/wife on general rules of behavior and punishment for children. The child quickly realizes that one of the parents can forgive him and begins to manipulate him. Lack of consent can cause problems not only with your offspring, but also in your relationship with your spouse.
Be a positive role model. Never forget that children learn by watching you. Make an effort to be polite, hardworking, honest, and perhaps there will be fewer reasons for punishment.
Don't forget to reward good behavior. Disciplinary action is only part educational process. In addition to punishing wrongdoing, spend time rewarding good behavior such as kindness, patience, accuracy, and hard work.
Talk about your expectations. It is important that your child knows what you consider good and bad behavior, and also understood what the consequences would be for breaking the rules. If he is old enough, he can choose his own reward for good behavior, if appropriate.
Consider the age and temperament of the child. No two children are exactly alike. Therefore, it is impossible to use the same disciplinary methods on a three-year-old and a seven-year-old child. If you have a little melancholic growing up, then threats can harm his psychological health.

Methods of constructive and loyal punishment

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too...

Is physical punishment acceptable?

Perhaps no topic in matters of raising a child causes such heated discussion as physical punishment. Many teachers and psychologists unanimously oppose it, believing that spanking only creates fear in the child and resentment towards adults. To avoid spanking and cuffing, children become resourceful and learn to lie.

True, it is necessary to distinguish between the systematic beating of children with an officer’s belt and buckle and the reaction of adults to the dangerous behavior of a child. Surely you could watch how a frightened mother spanks her baby, who ran out onto a busy highway and almost fell under the wheels of a car. In such extreme cases, physical pressure usually does not harm the child, since it does not involve humiliation.