When the child was not bought a toy. Why shouldn't you buy a lot of toys for your kids? well unforgotten old
Many parents are ready to buy new toys for their child almost every day. It would seem, what is so terrible in this, if family budget allows. However, some mothers and fathers who literally overwhelm their kids with all kinds of dolls, cars, constructors, plush animals and heroes of their favorite children's cartoons, then wonder why the child does not take care of the toys, breaks them or easily gives them to other children in the kindergarten. How many toys does a child need and how does their number affect his development?
Toys and child development
Some parents believe that a large number of toys will help the child faster. Actually it is not. Children's perception is arranged in such a way that in order to maintain attention, no more than five objects should be in the child's visibility zone at the same time. When there are more objects around the baby, it becomes difficult for him to focus on one of them, which means that attention is not concentrated, but rather scattered.
The number of toys also affects such a quality as ingenuity. Curiosity and resourcefulness develop in children when they need to invent and create toys on their own. Remember how, for example, we played with buttons in childhood, imagining them as people, or dandelions strung on ordinary sticks. Corn cobs, chips, pens - everything came to life in our children's hands and overgrown with stories. Unfortunately, modern toys for the most part, they are not designed for the development of creative thinking and, interacting with them, the child does not receive new knowledge, which means that the potential of the researcher in him is slowly decreasing.
Too many toys also weaken children's cravings for other activities. When there are few toys, and the child has already played enough with them, he begins to be interested in reading, writing, art, that is, he is looking for other things to do for himself. When there are too many toys, he will fiddle with them all day long, and he will be bored with books, music, drawing and other types of creativity. If a child’s room is littered with toys, it becomes uninteresting for him to leave it, while children who cannot boast of such “riches” go for walks with great pleasure and prefer playing on fresh air.
The development of such an important skill as perseverance also depends on the number of toys around the baby. When a child comes across a complex “thing” (a puzzle, a designer, a prefabricated model, logic game), he will patiently and persistently deal with her. When there are many more around the baby simple toys, over which you do not need to think, he will quickly give up trying to figure it out on his own with a complex one and start playing something else. This will lead to the fact that the child will never learn to complete complex cases.
Toys and character
The number of toys also affects the character of the child. Children who get everything on demand begin to believe that this will always be the case, and grow up selfish.
The number of toys also affects the formation of a child's concept of eternal values. Children who are spoiled by their parents with a huge number of toys most often grow up confident that any desires and pleasures can be bought with money. Such kids turn into adults who cannot find satisfaction from life, while unspoiled children learn to appreciate intangible things and understand that only friendship, family, love bring true pleasure and joy.
In addition, children who have a lot of toys stop appreciating each of them, because they know that if another doll or car breaks down or gets lost, their parents will immediately buy a new one to replace it. Such kids do not take care of their toys, and they carry a similar attitude towards their own things through their whole lives. Now a five-year-old kid does not worry that he lost one of them in kindergarten, and in a few years he will forget somewhere an expensive smartphone bought by his parents and just ask them for another one. Then he will break cars, it is easy to spend money on nonsense. It is possible that he will also treat people the same way, believing that if it was not possible to establish relations with one friend, then another will come to replace him.
Children, who are not spoiled with toys, are very careful about their choice. While a spoiled kid will sweep all the toys off the shelves indiscriminately in the store, a child who receives a new doll or car only on holidays will take a long time to choose the right one, thus learning to analyze. He will spend half an hour near the window, carefully examining the toys, evaluating their intellectual value, appearance, material, and make an informed choice in favor of one of them.
When a child gets a lot of toys, it becomes very difficult for adults to surprise him with something. And really: what is possible or a holiday for a child who already has everything? Therefore, it is natural that instead of sincere joy, mom and dad will see only an indifferent expression on the face of their child, unwrapping another gift. And the holiday thus ceases to be a special event for the child, while children who rarely receive gifts will look forward to this day. Subsequently, such a child may grow up as a cold, indifferent to everything, bored person who will be difficult to surprise or delight with something.
Psychologists say that the fewer toys a child has, the more interesting it is for him to communicate with other children.
So, how many toys does a child need? It is impossible to answer this question with mathematical accuracy, however, each toy should be necessary, and its purchase should be planned: if the baby dreams of an expensive railway, then give it to him for his birthday, if the girl already has eight dolls, then you should not buy her the ninth. Well, or you can buy it as a gift for the holiday.
There are three tips that will help parents "secure" themselves from buying extra toys:
Do not buy cars and dolls casually, passing by in a supermarket or newsstand.
Do not give your child toys "for growth": if he is not interested in designers, then you should not litter the room with them.
Never follow a child's lead, even if he stamps his feet and throws a tantrum in a children's store. In any situation, your "no" should sound firm and confident.
And of course don't forget that happy childhood measured by the attention of parents, and not by the number of cars and baby dolls in the children's room. Spend as much time as possible with your child, play games with him role-playing games, invent your own exciting stories, turning the carpet in the hallway into a wild forest, and then your baby will be happy!
Victoria Kotlyarova
You don't want to buy knick-knacks for a child. Or vice versa, you feel guilty before him that you are ready to buy a completely unnecessary thing in the store ... Check whether it is easy for you to go shopping with your child by passing the test on the portal I am a parent.
If a girl has fifteen dolls, then, most of all, she usually does not have a favorite. Today she played with one, abandoned her somewhere, tomorrow her beloved “daughter” will be another.
And the boy will not be very sad if one of the twenty cars breaks down - there are still nineteen.
Meanwhile, according to psychologists, a child needs favorite toys. They form in the baby the ability to appreciate what is, they teach to feel affection. The one that forces the child not to throw away the old bear, but to sew on a severed paw.
Teach your child to take care not only of the "childhood friend", but also of other toys - repair cars, keep the details of the designer and puzzle pieces in different boxes. If you immediately teach your child that each toy has its own place, which it should take at the end of the game, sooner or later he will learn to clean everything himself, and you will not have to step over mountains of trucks and cubes forever.
But what definitely should not be done is to promise the baby to buy a new toy to replace the broken one. Otherwise, you will never teach him to take care of his things.
Don't chase fashion
And there is a fashion for toys. Psychologists advise to approach the choice carefully. On the one hand, the child should not feel like a black sheep when all the children are passionate about some kind of toy, but he does not have one. On the other hand, you need to clearly understand whether you really need this thing.
My daughter, for example, got through the craze for both cartoon witch dolls and Barbies without loss. As a mom, these toys seem useless to me. What should a girl do with such a doll? She will definitely not become her beloved "daughter". But today's girlish fad - to equip a house for an animal family - we liked it. It is only necessary that your daughter really be passionate about home improvement, and not blindly follow her friends. “I want the same as Ksyusha’s,” these words are a kind of signal that you definitely don’t need to buy such a toy.
precious junk
The big problem is to throw away the baby’s “wealth” that has served its purpose. The child may forget about these things, but when you start sorting them before taking them out, he will desperately cling to a cracked mirror or a car without wheels.
It is possible that this little thing is especially dear to him, for example, as a gift from his beloved grandmother. And then - many children have a hard time parting with things just because they are THEIR things.
Ask the child to explain why this toy is dear to him. If the argument is weighty - leave it, if it is unconvincing - persuade them to leave ("it's no longer possible to play it", "you can get hurt"). In extreme cases, the controversial toy can be hidden. If he misses her, then he needs her.
golden rules
Do not buy toys:
- casually, for example, together with a newspaper in a kiosk or in a supermarket. They are usually inexpensive there, and therefore we easily succumb to the requests of children. But the quality of these items is low, and the need is doubtful.
- not by age. If the child does not yet know how to assemble a designer or puzzles, he will simply lose all the details.
- to prevent whims or scandals. You can not go on about the blackmailer, even if he is your heir.
My eldest, who is now seven years old, I have been buying toys since birth, almost every month. Specially sought out some "especially developing". Or even, as in the case of teethers, I bought several pieces at once - suddenly one does not fit, so at least another. The fact that the child ignored them all, appointing a lid of sour cream as his favorite teether, seemed like some kind of wrong harmfulness or even a desire to deliberately annoy parents
How many toys does a child need?
My eldest, who is now seven years old, I have been buying toys since birth, almost every month. Specially sought out some "especially developing". Or even, as in the case of teethers, I bought several pieces at once - suddenly one does not fit, so at least another.
The fact that the child ignored them all, appointing a lid of sour cream as his favorite teether, seemed like some kind of wrong harmfulness or even a desire to deliberately annoy the parents.
Baits for parents
It would seem an obvious thing - there is no need to buy a special rattle, if the same rattling effect can be achieved with a spoon and a saucepan. Or even simpler: clap your hands, make funny faces or make funny sounds with your own mouth. My youngest loves it when you bring him close to his face and start singing or reciting a rhyme. One of my daughter's favorite pastimes is washing dishes.
But with the first child, such obvious things for some reason did not come to mind. It's like some kind of block inside that drives you to the store for all those stupid balls on sticks.
One of the brightest discoveries happened when a son at the age of one and a half years chased his mother around the house, trying to take away her broom. And we drove him away - they say, go and play with your toys. And then it dawned on me: a toy, here it is - a broom! And useful as well. And he asks.
And we, parents, discourage interest by sending the child to some virtual world plastic fakes. And then in a few years we will wonder why the child does not want to do anything around the house!
Take an ordinary apple - there is a taste, and a smell, and a complex shape, and an unbanal color. Why change all this for a bald, tasteless ball of plain plastic?
Involuntarily, you will think about how cunning the modern toy industry is, which creates all these "catchy" toys. Acid colors, light bulbs and sounds... And remember the piles of stuffed dust collectors at home - how long did your children play with them? Eat clear that These toys are just for adults. It is in their harsh adult world that there is so little soft and fluffy.
And how they lure us with primitive movements! Starting with paranoid "mobiles" over the crib and ending with endless shelves of cars. Yes, yes, the child reacts to movement. And cars are now the main animals of the city, so the attraction of children to a familiar moving object is obvious. Especially if you foolishly took the child with you to the toy store and put it in front of the shelves - of course, he will ask for a typewriter. But what to do next next with this machine? Roll on the floor until graduation, and then ask your parents for a real one?
When my son was two and a half years old, I collected and threw out on the balcony a whole bag of cars, gifted by relatives and friends. He left about five, with interesting functions - a fire engine with a retractable ladder, an excavator with a bucket, a truck with a large body, a steam locomotive with trailing wagons, a racing one with opening doors. And you know, quite enough for a very diverse game.
improvised materials
It just started out of spite. On the street, I often saw how children are forbidden ... yes, almost everything in the world."Don't take the sand, you'll get dirty! Don't wave your stick, you'll hit it in the eye!" I was banned from doing the same as a child.
Therefore, I immediately allowed my elder to use both stones and sticks. And even he himself set "bad examples", which made both of us very happy against the background of other sterile children. When my son was three years old, two boys a couple of years older, who had strayed from their mothers, approached him in the sandbox and asked: "What do you have? - It's a stick! - Why? - And dad and I are fighting!" The boys sighed with envy: "We can't use sticks..."
One day, the son decided to go on a visit with a rather dirty stone, and did not want to go without a stone. We thought a little... and made a rock out of paper. Paper is generally a universal material for children, if you are not too lazy to move your brains.
After several such stories, I even had a kind of "project" - to create games on the go, in any situation, from any materials at hand. This kills three birds with one stone. Savings, of course. But that's not the point; much more interesting are the other two hares.
Second: development creativity child through the creativity of the parent. What did you think? - that the toy itself will "develop" your child while you are lying on the couch? Nifiga.
Children learn first and foremost from their parents. If you know how to invent and create, the child will also learn. If you are bored, he will learn to be bored too.
Third: the materials at hand are more naturally included in life - and help to do various other things. None of the children rejoice when they smear the wound with iodine or brilliant green. But show him that you can draw with a cotton swab with brilliant green - and the wound treatment procedure will be much more pleasant.
Educational toys: a hacker approach
For older children, the toy industry has its own commercial trick - "educational toys". The creators of these products manage to sell completely banal sets of things to parents for decent money. Bunch of wooden sticks. Bag with beads and rope. An unusual shape frame for soap bubbles. A bag of ordinary starch for experiments with "non-Newtonian fluid". And so on.
Most of these things do not make sense to buy. It is quite possible to teach a child to count on what is at hand - on his favorite pebbles, for example. And the fractions are on orange slices. Both pleasant and economical.
However, you can also benefit from store-bought educational toys. What is the most valuable in these goods? Not objects, of course. And the recipes themselves, the rules of the games ... which you can easily learn by reading the instructions. And items and ingredients can be purchased elsewhere much cheaper. By the way, children are happy to pick up this game: peep the secret and make it at home on their own.
At the same time, a good filtering principle is obtained- store educational toys should be bought exactly those that cannot be repeated on improvised materials.
From older to younger
Although I hardly buy new toys, we still have a lot of them - those that were with the older ones go to the younger ones. They have stood the test of time.
So don't throw out the toys your older kids love to play with!
In the process of accumulating our "toy capital", the most interesting discovery was that good toy works for different ages. Take the FridgiGear constructor - these are large multi-colored gears with magnets that are molded onto the refrigerator, allowing you to create arbitrary gears. And in the largest gear - a motor. You turn it on - and the whole scheme spun.
I gave this toy to my eldest son when he was about three years old. And I even admired the fact that the child learned the basics of mechanics so early, which I myself learned, probably at the age of ten. It turned out that three years is not too early. My daughter learned to stick her brother's wheels on the refrigerator at 10 months old, and at the age of one and a half she was already collecting patterns from gears and turning on the engine herself.
You will never be able to break stereotypes about the "suitable age of toys" if you buy toys according to the age that is written on the packages. It just needs " natural selection". Our youngest at four months began to twist with pleasure a big ball in his hands, with which the elders play football. You would buy a baby soccer ball about the size of himself? And it turns out that he needs it!
well unforgotten old
What if our children had our grandmothers toys? And not even just toys, but real objects that were used in the past. Surrounding stores convince us that "modern is better" - but is it?
You can study history in museums - but usually everything is behind glass. However, there are places where you can not only twist old things in your hands, but also buy them. These are flea markets. My son and I, when we go to St. Petersburg, we like to walk at the flea market near Udelnaya.
What is not there! And old coins, and porcelain dishes (not like the current disposable), and completely mysterious things, the purpose of which you can’t immediately guess. For a long time we showed our acquaintances one forged thing found there: a metal rod with a wheel at each end. It turned out to be an old dough cutting tool.
Or here: you will never be able to explain to a child how electronics work, using the example of modern devices - there all the details-chips are microscopic, and even filled with varnish. You can buy an electronic kit (and we have one), but it's an expensive toy. And you can buy an old radio at a flea market literally for a penny, where everything is clear. And it even works!
Individual toys
Perhaps all of the above will sound too pragmatic for someone.. And in general, "what a joy it is for our beloved child to play in someone else's junk!".
Well, then the last recipe for you: give your child a toy that no one else has. This is not an easy task if your imagination is limited by the nearest "Children's World" - after all, your neighbor will have the same toys from the same monotonous shelves.
Paradoxically, in our Soviet past, the "individuality" of toys turned out better. Yes, the choice was poor, they snapped it up right away, or there was nothing at all in the stores - then the parents had to somehow get out, "get it", or even make it on their own. But the attitude towards the toy was respectful, without these endless consumer games like "I want another one like Petya's!", "I want to build a complete set", "I want the next version", etc.
Of course, there is no need to return scarcity times in order to return uniqueness. You can make a toy that no one has, you can do it yourself - either with or without a child, if you want a surprise . And if you do not feel such talents in yourself, you can "get" such a toy via the Internet.
Before my daughter's third birthday, we unobtrusively asked her what gifts she would like to receive. Among the wishes, the Full of Eyes figured especially - a favorite character from the song about the Golden City, which we use as a lullaby. Nothing suitable for toy stores not found. Then we asked to sew the Full of Eyes according to our description. A very cute animal came out.
Although, again, doing it yourself is more interesting and more useful for development. And it's not just about toys. But it begins with them. published.
Lekha Andreev
Have questions - ask them
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet
Modern children definitely do not suffer from a lack of toys. But more often than not, the abundance of toys that is present in their nursery remains lying around in a heap in the corner or in huge boxes, absolutely not interested in the child and not carrying the developing effect that we expect from them. What to do? Buy fewer toys say educators and psychologists. Why? Because the fewer toys a child has, the more useful it is for him. They also named 12 reasons to get rid of a large number of toys in the nursery.
Reason 1: Creativity develops
Too many toys slow you down. This has been proven in one experiment. Two German scientists Strick and Schubert (Strick and Schubert) convinced the educator kindergarten hide absolutely all the toys in the group for three months. At the initial stages of the experiment, the children really got bored, but soon they began to use improvised objects in the games, and the kids began to actively turn on their imagination.
Reason 2: Develops the ability to concentrate on one subject
When there are too many toys, the child's concentration may begin to suffer. It is very difficult for a child to concentrate on one toy when there are a bunch of other options on the shelf behind it. If you watch the play of modern children, you can see that not a single toy holds their attention for a long time. And all because they have too big choice toys.
Reason 3: Social skills develop better
Children who have few toys are easier to install interpersonal relationships with other children and adults. They learn how to start a conversation and keep it going. By the way, studies have confirmed that people who in childhood could easily make friends were much more likely to become successful in adulthood.
Reason 4: The child learns to take better care of his things
If a child has too many toys, he cares less about them. Any toy depreciates when, among a bunch of others, you can easily find a replacement for it. your baby constantly breaks toys? Hide them all. Then the baby will quickly learn the lesson of frugality.
Reason 5: Easier to instill a love of reading, writing, art
The fewer toys a child has, the easier it is to instill in him a love of music, books, coloring or drawing. After all, you can spend your free time with these activities. Scientists have proven that children who understand art better understand the beauty of the world around them, emotions, and are more sociable.
Reason 6: Developing ingenuity
In high school, students are not given answers to questions, but are provided with all possible tools to help students find these answers. During the game of the child, this rule also takes place. If the baby has few toys, then he solves the problem by using improvised materials and including inventions. Ingenuity is a huge gift with unlimited potential, which must be developed in childhood.
Reason 7: There are fewer disagreements among children
Some mothers and fathers believe that more toys can reduce the intensity of passions in the nursery during their sharing between children. And every time you buy new toy, there is another reason for the children's scandal, quarrels and tantrums. At the same time, brothers and sisters who have few toys share them among themselves, which leads to the development of skills to negotiate, cooperate, and play games together.
Reason 8: Perseverance develops
A child with a lot of toys shifts attention too quickly. If he is given a toy that requires more attention and patience to figure out how it works or how to play it, it will immediately be discarded in favor of another toy that is easier and more understandable to play. Those children who have few toys are more diligent, patient and determined.
Attentive parents also monitor the number of toys in the child's room. At a time when our children's rooms are literally filled to the ceiling with toys, thinking parents are trying to reduce the number of toys that children play with.
Have you noticed that a child's attention and ability to play with toys directly depends on their number? For a child to really play with them, and for these games to bring him joy and benefit, parents must understand that a small number of toys for a child is much better, and that it will have a positive impact on his future.
1. Children will be more creative
Too many toys slow down creative development child. Children do not need to invent, invent when there is a mountain of toys next to them. In Germany, the following experiment was carried out in kindergartens - in groups, all toys were removed for 3 months. At first, the children were very bored and did not know what to do with themselves. However, after some time, the children began to communicate more with each other and literally invent, using handy and surrounding objects for their games. The husband of one of my friends lived in the North as a child. There were no toys at all. The only thing that the child had in large quantities was matchboxes. For several years, the child played only with them, creating models and inventing stories. As a result, he is not only successful in his professional life, he also writes beautiful music and plans to release his album.
2. Children develop the ability to concentrate
In order to maintain attention, there should be no more than 5 objects in the child's field of vision. Surrounding himself with a large number of bright, varied toys, attention is scattered and, moreover, the child does not learn to concentrate, which is very important for his future life. Having a lot of toys, children stop appreciating them. Moreover, each new toy is less and less valuable for the child, and after playing with it for a day or two, the child begins to ask for a new one in order to experience the joy of ownership again. new thing. Toy manufacturers feed this desire in children by molding them into consumers. Only parents can influence this process, realizing the importance of toys and their quantity for the unborn child.
3. Child's social skills develop
Children with fewer toys are much better able to bond with other children and adults. First of all, because they learn real communication. Research has shown that children who are able to form friendships in childhood become much more successful in their adult lives.
4. Children become more caring about the things they use.
A child who has a large number of toys ceases to appreciate them. He is sure that if one breaks, he will be replaced a new one will come. This has a significant educational character of the toy, which forms the attitude towards the world. The child must be taught careful attitude to his toys and things, so that, having matured, he did not transfer this consumer attitude to real human relationships.
5. Children develop a love of reading, writing and art
There are cases when families did not have toys or televisions. Reading and creative personalities grew up in such families. Fewer toys make children look for other interesting activities for themselves. Very often they are books and creativity. Children, loving books grow up erudite and imaginative. Art introduces children to the world of beauty, to the world of real emotions and feelings, making them more balanced and creative.
6. Children become more creative
Ingenuity, the ability to be resourceful, develops if the child does not have ready-made answers to the questions that confront him. Rare toy today meets these requirements. Mechanical toys do not contribute to the development of creative thinking. The opportunity to develop the potential of a researcher in a child is entirely in the hands of parents.
7. Children argue less and negotiate more
This may seem counterintuitive. Indeed, for many parents it is obvious that the more toys children have, the less they argue and swear with their brothers and sisters. However, this is often not the case. Each new toy contributes to the isolation of the child from brothers and sisters, the creation of his own "territory". More toys cause more controversy, while fewer toys encourage children to learn to negotiate, share, and play together.
8. Children learn to be assertive.
When a child has a large number of toys at hand, he gives up much faster. If the toy causes any difficulty, he will abandon it in favor of another, simpler toy, which lies next to him. Or in similar situations children are more likely to turn to their parents for help instead of reaching a decision on their own. When there are few toys, the child will try to deal with the toy himself, thereby he will learn perseverance, patience and the skills to bring the matter to the end on his own.
9. Children become less selfish
Kids who get everything on demand believe they can get whatever they want. Such thinking very quickly leads to an unhealthy lifestyle.
10. Children become healthier
The consumption of things often turns into uncontrolled consumption of food, thereby developing the habit of eating improperly. Restraint in toys brings up the restraint of the child in other areas of his life. In addition, children who do not have a room littered with toys often prefer to play outdoors, with great pleasure getting involved in active games Outdoors.
11. Children learn to find fulfillment outside of the toy store.
True joy and contentment will never be found on the shelves of a toy store. Children who grew up in a family with the idea that all desires and pleasures can be bought with money will turn into adults who cannot find satisfaction in life. On the contrary, children should grow up with the conviction that true pleasure and joy are in relationships with people, in what is of eternal value - friendship, love, family.
12. Children will live in a cleaner and tidy home.
Parents know that toys never live only in the child's room, they fill the whole apartment. It is logical to assume that fewer toys will contribute to the fact that the house will be orderly and clean.
13. The child will not have "useless" toys.
Toys are not just for playing with. Psychologists say that the toy has a special role in shaping the personality and the unborn child. It helps him to understand the world in which he lives, to form an opinion about himself and the people around him. The toy is capable of shaping or significantly influencing the values of the child and thus determine to some extent his future. That's why wise parents pay attention to what toys their children play with, carefully choose a toy while in a children's store, paying attention to the age, appearance, materials, practical and intellectual value of the toy. Let's be honest: not all toys have such value. But the less often parents buy toys, the more attention they pay to this aspect.
14. The child will learn to enjoy gifts again.
What to give a child who has everything? - one of the most common questions on parenting forums. Indeed, most children simply have nothing to surprise them with. They are no longer happy with gifts as they were in our childhood and the childhood of our mothers and grandmothers, when toys were given only on holidays. If you buy toys the same way you buy bread and milk, it ceases to be an event. And playing such a toy ceases to be an event too. By buying fewer toys, you will give your child back the opportunity to truly enjoy gifts.
“The main thing is to develop in the child his limitless potentialities, so that there is more joy in his life and in the world.” Masaru Ibuka, It's Too Late After Three.
I'm not against toys. But I am for the opportunities that life gives the child - to be creative, inventive, resourceful, purposeful and persistent. Only such children grow up into adults capable of changing lives for the better. Therefore, go into the child's room today and unnoticed by him remove most of the toys. I assure you, you won't regret it.
Advice:
If your child has a lot of toys, use this simple advice from psychologists: Pay attention to the toys that the child is playing with right now. Leave these toys in the field of view of the child. Hide the rest. From time to time, seeing that the child is losing interest in those toys that he plays with, remove the boring toys and offer him others from the “hiding place”. So you weed out what the child does not need at all, what was bought in vain and only takes up space in the nursery. You can get rid of these toys, for example, by taking them to kindergarten.