Why wives cheat on their husbands. Why a woman cheats on her husband - psychology and reasons for female infidelity Can women not cheat?

In romantic films, the newlyweds at the wedding read the “oath of fidelity,” which includes promises to love each other and be there for each other no matter what. But life sometimes brings surprises in the form of betrayal by one of the spouses.

The consciousness of society is structured in such a way that men walking “to the left” are taken for granted. This behavior is often justified by natural data, the inner essence of the male character - the “conqueror”. Therefore, a husband’s infidelity is rarely condemned by society.

But women’s campaigns “to the left” are considered something out of the ordinary and are condemned. Statistics show that the number of married girls who cheat on their loved ones begins to grow from year to year. What is the reason for female infidelity, how to deal with it?

If you study the behavior of lovers in a family, an extraordinary connection can be traced - the reasons for such actions in men and women contain different approaches.

The main essence of female infidelity

Some psychologists believe that for men, cheating is a natural process. Simply put, they follow nature, often striving to conquer as many representatives of the opposite sex as possible. A woman by nature does not have such a desire. They have another desire - to choose better man. Simply put, in men's adventures the decisive factor is quantity, for women it is quality that matters.

If a woman meets a man on her way who is superior to her current lover, then she will give her heart to the successful representative.

Moreover, her husband can be a worthy person - he provides for the family, devotes time to her, takes care of the children. But the female sex is missing something, she is looking for this unknown something on the side, among other men.

Situations often occur when a wife cheats on a decent man, but does not leave him. What motivates her, why does she choose this path? What are the motives for female infidelity? Let's look into this rhetorical question.

Reasons for female infidelity in marriage

Having studied the features and differences between male and female infidelity, we will move on to listing the motives that push a woman to take this step. Taking into account the mentality of society, female infidelity is perceived aggressively by people. Therefore, in order to decide to take a step into the abyss, a woman needs clear arguments.

So what leads a woman to cheat:

1. revenge. Married life rarely runs smoothly. Housekeeping is accompanied by quarrels and scandals. But if for many couples issues are resolved mutually, then for some families, after a quarrel, there comes a moment when the spouse takes sides. Either the husband simply behaves ugly, humiliates the woman, drinks or gets loose. It will seem strange that the wife does not divorce and continues to live with such a person. Cheating can be an act of protest against a tyrant husband, an abuser;
2. disappointment. Relationships change, especially compared to the courtship period. A man who has won a girl calms down and stops paying attention to her. Instead of spending time together, the spouse simply immerses himself in the world of virtual reality or spends time watching TV. A girl who is accustomed to receiving attention from her beloved may find it difficult to tolerate such a change in behavior. It’s hard to pull many young men out of the usual quiet swamp even for a walk together, keeping silent about visiting entertainment places. Cheating is a way to add bright colors to a gray everyday life;
3. bed relationships. Over time, sex among married people becomes something commonplace. Yes, and people's temperaments differ. My husband, coming home from work, wants to rest and be left alone. A woman, especially a sensual one, has a hard time withstanding such changes in her loved one, so she thinks about cheating;
4. Men don't often show emotions. Especially after marriage, when the wife is at your side, already your own. Many men forget to compliment their partner, admire her beauty and other qualities. Most husbands take for granted all the household chores that their beloved bears - cooking, cleaning, ironing. It is rare that any husband is ready to simply say “thank you” for what his wife does for him. In contrast here is a man who is ready to admire every step, her action, he likes everything - isn’t this a reason to change?
5. early marriage. In Russia and other Slavic countries, girls still strive to get married as quickly as possible. Often such marriages are carried out hastily, the partners have no time to get to know each other. Because of this, disappointments subsequently begin in family life. If a young girl is not satisfied with her husband emotionally, morally or physically, then she takes an example from her unmarried friends - she begins to go out;
6. Whatever one may say, the saying about the forbidden fruit is still relevant. Over time in a relationship or marriage, many women reconsider their principles. But if earlier betrayal was not contemplated even mentally, then with the coming of time it becomes a desired action;
7. "Herd instinct" No matter how rude it may sound, such feelings often push a woman into infidelity. Various factors lead to this - statements, actions of friends, mass propaganda of unhealthy behavior through media channels, or something else. The result is the same - the wife takes a lover.

Psychology. Why do women cheat on men?

Women's psychology is designed in such a way that betrayal occurs as a result of the emergence of feelings. As it happens, the one who is nearby becomes annoying, seems unpleasant, annoying. The forbidden man becomes a real treasure for her, which makes her inaccessible. If he still shows truly masculine qualities, the woman begins to fall in love. Such loves pass over time and bring disappointment. But for some time the woman is sure that this man is her only destiny.

What is the difference between male and female infidelity:

1. feelings. For men, cheating is a physiological process; they do not need feelings to cheat. It’s different with women, the fact of physical contact is not so important to them, they cheat on their husbands only because they feel a feeling of falling in love;
2. choice of partner. Male infidelities are characterized by less picky choices. Simply put, it is enough for them that their mistress is beautiful in appearance. Women don't cheat with just anyone. They take lovers from a list of worthy gentlemen;
3. story after action. Men who take a mistress do not get divorced. This is not profitable for them - life at home is organized, there are bright emotions and new impressions on the side. Why change everything if everything is great? For women, a different approach is typical. If they are in love, then they try to break off the relationship with their already unloved husband and build new ones with their lover.

How to prevent female infidelity in the family?

Women's adventures occur when a new feeling arises. Therefore, if adultery has already occurred, it will be difficult for the spouse to return everything back and achieve the former idyll.

The woman will most likely be ready to break off the relationship and plunge headlong into new feelings. To be honest, few men are ready to forgive their beloved for betrayal.

The opinions of psychologists on this issue converge; it is better not to bring the situation to the extreme boiling point, and mutually start working on the relationship. There are different methods. But all psychologists agree on one aspect - if you leave family life as it is, with mutual claims and grievances, it is unlikely that you will be able to save the relationship.

Here are some basic tips for men that will help you establish contact with your beloved and significantly improve family ties without any visible effort:

1. take time for your loved one. Undoubtedly, work is exhausting, and when you come home you want only one thing - to rest, so that no one will bother you. But if you spend a few minutes with your spouse - ask how she is doing, what new happened during the day - it will take a little time, but it will restore contact and soften the heart of your beloved;
2. be more to her than a passport spouse. In order for a married woman to be as attached to her husband as possible - become her friend, father, lover - in general, she should receive all types of male help from you. If you can listen to her, give practical advice, nail a shelf, give affection and tenderness, she will not want to look for another gentleman on the side;
3. quarrel. A family in which all claims are hushed up and swallowed by the parties will not live long. It is impossible to accumulate grievances without exploding one fine day. Therefore, all psychologists unanimously say: there is a problem - it needs to be solved. Speak out your grievances, try to find a solution through joint efforts. And remember that you also need to be able to quarrel. Ugly shouts, insults and obscene language will not lead to a solution to the issue;
4. talk openly about the intimate side of life. Many couples are embarrassed to discuss their sexual problems with each other and what they like in bed. General dissatisfaction has a negative impact on relationships. Against this background, it seems quite strange that cheating with a stranger seems to many people to be a normal way out of the situation. Despite the fact that there were no attempts to talk to my other half. In practice, couples who dare to discuss intimate life, discovered their partner in a new way, breathed bright colors into the relationship;
5. Respect is the basis of relationships. Remember this, try to pay maximum attention to respect. If a person does not respect his loved one, then the marriage is doomed to failure. Listen to your wife, tell her that you expect the same from her;
6. Do not plunge into the abyss of everyday problems. An established lifestyle sucks you in and deprives you of any desire to embark on adventures - that’s the problem. This reason leads, according to statistics, to a lot of divorces. Arranging a small surprise just like that is not difficult, but it’s so nice. Such moments are remembered best and improve the atmosphere between spouses;
7. Don't be overly jealous. Unfounded suspicions, constant nagging and total control are not helpful for healthy family relationships. The woman will get tired of receiving accusations of non-existent treason, and will actually commit it.

Note! Female infidelity is an action that is preceded by a long preparatory period. Women’s move to the “left” is not made out of fleeting emotions; it is realized after a thorough analysis of the situation and many hours of painful thoughts.

Why do wives like to cheat?

Much has been said about the causes of infidelity, the components and differences in approaches to infidelity between men and women. It is worth noting that all ladies can be divided into two large categories:

1. those who cheated once by accident and are tormented by it;
2. those who see treason as everyday life and constantly have lovers.

One key difference emerges here. There are women who receive all these feelings without violating personal boundaries. But there is also a category that is not capable of diversifying life without going to lovers. Every day their need for variety is increasing.

Why does the wife want to cheat?

Among women there are also many who commit adultery not only because of feelings or cooled family relationships. Among the fairer sex there are ladies who are ready for infidelity, for the sake of:

1. careers. There are many examples when a big boss gets girls who are ready to do anything for a promotion as his mistresses;
2. wealth. The desire of beauties of the 21st century to live on a grand scale is not always realized in reality. The average man cannot provide a monthly flight abroad, vacation at resorts, shopping and other delights of life. When a rich lover is an all-time classic;
3. simply because she likes to feel the adrenaline and change men. Such women also exist. At the same time, she feels comfortable living with her husband, who belongs to the spineless class.

Consequences of female infidelity in marriage

All people know that cheating is bad. Few people are prepared for such a development of events. But you can never promise. Difficult relationships with your husband, a business trip, at a meeting with classmates or on vacation alone at resorts - there are a lot of options, but the result is the same. A woman is left alone with betrayal and does not know what will happen next or how to deal with it.

Let's consider the consequences of female infidelity from the point of view of two sides - the state of a woman and a man.

What are the consequences of infidelity for a woman?

It doesn’t matter for what reasons this happened, after cheating there are many questions left: should I tell my husband or not? How to behave and what to do next? What should I say if he asks? Psychologists agree that it is under no circumstances worth talking about this, especially if the betrayal happened once, in other words, “by accident.”

You are not interested in continuing a relationship with someone else’s man, you don’t want this experience anymore, then you can’t tell your husband unequivocally. This will hurt his feelings and will lead to a change in the relationship between the spouses.

The husband will most likely show uncontrollable jealousy and constant suspicion. This is how everything will happen - he will torment you with questions - how it all happened, with whom and most importantly who is better, he will begin to constantly control you, find fault with little things.

The unfaithful woman herself does not feel happy. On the contrary, she begins to suffer and suffer. She is overcome by a whole range of emotions - shame, remorse, fear of being discovered. After the moment of betrayal, a woman begins to think about how and what to talk about, she introduces total control into her life. This exhausts her psychologically, emotionally and can lead to depression, neuroses, and nervous breakdowns.

For most women, cheating is an action that radically changes their life. But in order not to torment yourself with needless torment, it is better to carry out mental work on mistakes.

Think about why this happened? What emotions led to such an unpleasant act? What was the last straw? By reasoning logically, without unnecessary emotions, you can get to the bottom of the truth and try to solve the problem found in a loyal way.

To understand the accompanying emotions in more detail, let’s consider them using the example of the most common reasons for infidelity:

1. new impressions. Everyday life becomes boring over time, as do relationships between spouses, including sexual ones. There is no longer that ardor, passion, hot sighs as between the young. The spouse has already been studied inside and out. If the betrayal occurred from the desire to receive new emotions, then women are subsequently very disappointed. Taking into account the fact that all the intricacies of physical contact have already been studied with a loved one, a woman often experiences satisfaction in marriage with a familiar partner. This may not happen to a lover. And in general, does a woman have confidence that after several years of life the same thing will not happen to her lover? In general, some disorders;
2. male impotence. This problem is one of the most serious. Sexual impotence under stress is increasingly common in young men aged 30. Marriage, no matter how strong, must include sexual relations. What if the man you love next to you doesn’t want or can’t carry out such actions? Cheating with another will also not bring relief to a woman’s soul. If the relationship with your husband is good, then cheating will cause a feeling of shame and self-deprecation about the deception good man. Is it worth changing - definitely not. It’s worth running to the doctor with your husband and trying in every way to solve the problem;
3. curiosity. No matter how strange it may sound, but interest in the unknown pushes women into bed with unfamiliar men. Frankly speaking, a woman can get real pleasure in combination with an emotional component. If you cheat just like that, then the woman will not receive any pleasure, much less happiness. In return, there will be remorse, a silent question - what was all this for?
4. revenge. Your husband cheated, and you decided to repay him in kind? Let's say right away that the path is fundamentally wrong. Afterwards, the woman will feel like a traitor, a deceiver in front of her husband. Will this analogy be pleasant? Not many will be happy with such prospects. If you want to take revenge, please, but outside of marriage. Otherwise, a woman’s action will be no different from her partner’s action.

What are the consequences of infidelity for a man?

If a man finds out about his wife’s infidelity, this deals a blow to his pride. A man’s self-esteem drops, jealousy and a decadent attitude develop. The very fact of betrayal tells a man that his companion does not respect his partner. Even if outwardly he is ready to forgive his wife and give her another chance, internally he will continue to be indignant, constantly remembering the betrayal.

As a result of dissonance, psychological disorders arise, aggression, inferiority complexes appear, and even sexual inability occurs. Such manifestations can be explained simply. By forgiving the betrayal, a man signs his insolvency. Because in the aspect of infidelity, a man pays attention only to physical contact. What is a fact of insufficient masculine strength if a girl chooses another man. He doesn’t pay attention to the romantic component at all.

Every man is an owner and perceives his wife (companion, girlfriend) as a trophy that was won in a fair fight. Therefore, the woman who cheated is no longer his prey, and this is insulting. The very attitude towards the traitor is expressed in complete contempt. Treason is nothing more than betrayal. If even in a relationship the wife could not resist, then how can we continue to hope for such a person?

Should we forgive a woman's infidelity?

This question arises among men who love their wife, but are tormented by the fact of betrayal. It is difficult to find a single answer for every situation. But let's consider it from the point of view of the psychological state of a man.

The husband is confused, embittered, depressed. If the infidelity is forgotten and the family tries to return to their usual way of life, it is unlikely that everything will be the same as before. Forgiveness for betrayal is difficult to achieve. In most cases, a man who has forgiven his wife becomes weak and pliable in the woman’s eyes. Such men are not respected, they wipe their feet on them and continue to cheat on them.

Thus, to the question of whether it is worth forgiving, the answer is unequivocal - it is impossible. Why to preserve your inner peace and dignity.

Why do you dream that your wife is cheating?

Dreams are a mysterious thing. Sometimes a man may dream that his wife is cheating. He is ready to transfer this situation to real life. But here's the problem. Dreams are a reflection of our hidden thoughts and experiences. Therefore, if in a dream you witnessed infidelity, most likely it’s all about increased jealousy and suspicion.

Analyze how worried you are about the possible fact of betrayal. Are there any prerequisites for this or do you only have your own speculation? If a man has such a dream and it is disturbing, pay attention to your wife, try to devote more time to her. This way you will find out about the absence or presence of infidelity, strengthen the relationship so that infidelity does not occur.

The topic of female infidelity is vast. It is difficult to draw one line under all situations. Each family has its own rules and characteristics, so not a single story about infidelity is like the others. But in this whole story there is important points, which are worth summarizing:

1. Treason is a voluntary action. Despite the reasons that could lead to the commission of the act, the final decision is still made by the person himself. That's why you shouldn't blame circumstances. There is another way out of any situation;
2. men and women see betrayal differently. If for a man it is more important that a woman physically belonged to another, then for the fair half feelings come first;
3. to admit infidelity or not is a rhetorical question. You can’t give unambiguous advice without knowing the people and the details. But the old rule still applies: “the less you know, the better you sleep”;
4. What should spouses do after cheating? Should I forgive my wife or not? A question that haunts deceived husbands. If you decide to forgive and restore family relationships, the topic of betrayal should be forgotten once and for all. You cannot reproach her and, in the heat of a quarrel, try to inject your spouse more painfully with this information.

Attitudes towards infidelity are formed not only through public opinion. One’s own point of view is developed over the years, wisdom and understanding come. Therefore, the older people are, the easier it is to forgive betrayal. But it’s still better to avoid such a situation and try to correct it even at the moment the first alarm bells appear.

For every normal person, cheating is not the norm. But we are all accustomed to the fact that the strong half of humanity are polygamous creatures and it is difficult for them to resist the charms of an outside lady. Most people turn a blind eye to men's moves to the left, and no matter how unpleasant it may be, wives try to find an excuse for their man. But as for female infidelity, the situation is much more complicated. Female adultery always causes a sharp reaction from the husband. Of course, a wife's infatuation with another man is a rarer situation. But still, it is also present, and what is sad is that in recent years the number of divorces due to the wife’s infidelity has begun to increase exponentially. Why does a woman look “to the side”, what does a loving husband need to think about and what measures to take.

How does female infidelity differ from male infidelity?

It’s worth noting right away that adultery initially occurs in a woman’s head. It is for men that the “light bulb” of betrayal lights up at the sight of the first skirt and they, like a donkey after a carrot, are ready to follow the beauty anywhere. Just to get intimacy and satisfy your desires. No, no one intends to offend anyone, but this is actually how things are. After all, it’s not men’s fault that they are polygamous. For ladies, the mechanism works differently. For various reasons, which we will study further, she pictures in her thoughts someone with whom she would be comfortable, behind whom she would feel like behind a stone wall, under complete protection.

You should also not miss the desire to feel the pleasure of communication and intimacy. For her, contact is not something momentary, easy relaxation. Thus, women reveal their essence, and by giving themselves to their lover, she strives to get something that she has not felt for a long time with her legal spouse. She needs warmth and understanding. But before committing adultery, a woman is ready to endure everything:

• grievances;
• inattention;
• contempt;
• indifference;
• lack of money, up to violence from the husband and his infidelity.

And when all her strength is exhausted, there is no way to change the situation and continue to endure problems, the lady thinks about the “prince on a white horse” and is bought by the flattery of a stranger. Sometimes a couple of warm words are enough for her to thaw and follow the tenderness and affection. She considers the person a ray of light that she needs to go for the very happiness that she has lost.

Important: we are not talking about women suffering from the mental illness “nymphomania”. In this case, to assess the behavior of a concerned lady, you need to consult a psychiatrist, endocrinologist and gynecologist.

Why are men polygamous and women monogamous?

Everything that is created and provided by nature is for a reason. Why are men so greedy for multiple relationships? It's simple. While the lady was waiting for him in the hut and preparing the remains of the mammoth, he needed to get a new portion of “products” - slaughter the next mammoth, run after hares, shoot birds. And, of course, he exposed himself to danger. During the hunt, many breadwinners died and in order to compensate for their loss, they had to leave as many offspring as possible.

And in general, life was short for everyone back then; replenishment of human losses depended only on the polygamy of the male, who sowed his seed wherever he could. Thanks to such “promiscuity” of our ancestors, despite serious threats and dangers, humanity exists, including our readers. But the women waited patiently by the blazing hearth and carefully prepared food and created comfort for their beloved hunter.

Why do women cheat?

Nowadays the system is completely different and according to the norms of civil society, loyalty and harmonious relationships. If you stop loving each other, get a divorce. But no, you need to go “left” and continue living together. After all, there is no longer a need to sow your seed everywhere, no one and nothing threatens you. But in men this is preserved in their genes, then for what reason does a woman commit adultery? There is no need to discover America here, everything is banal and simple. In the first place is the behavior of the stronger half, who believes that happiness is in his “hands” and it will not go anywhere. Let's consider the main number of factors influencing the behavior of women.

Lack of attention from a man

Indifference, the indifferent attitude of a man towards his lady. Most of the representatives of the stronger half after several years of marriage married life They are sure that their wife is doomed to eke out her existence next to him in any case. Little by little, joint weekends, communication, and common interests are fading away. also in married couple Often, within a couple of years, a habit develops, but the passion subsides. Less and less often, husband and wife retire and have sex. Often household problems, quarrels, and concerns about children come first. For this reason, the woman is sure that she has fallen out of love, because before her beloved gave gifts and surprises with or without reason, now he is cold. To make up for the lack of attention and romance, she considers other relationships and eventually begins dating another man.

Man's weakness

We have often witnessed this situation: the wife continually complains that her husband does not help with the housework. She admires her friend’s husband, who spends his free time in the kitchen, does the cleaning himself, bakes amazing pies, and at the same time never objects to his august woman in anything. Is it worth admiring this “idyll”? In no case.

A weak man with a set of feminine habits cannot attract a true woman. Each of us needs a strong, maybe a little domineering partner who will stand up for the protection of home and family. After all, while waiting for her loved one from work, a lady tries to prepare the most delicious dish, clean up and put on the most elegant. And for the second “woman” in the house there is no point in trying. He is like a poodle on a leash - he will do whatever you order and will endure as long as you like. But at the same time, he does not undertake to resolve serious issues, is not able to sort out the relationship, and quietly lives a calm and comfortable life behind his beloved’s back. And what remains for the weak half is to look for a strong and strong male on the side.

Unjustified hopes

Any woman is, first of all, a mother who dreams that her children will grow up in comfort and not need finances. In order to ensure health and good education for his children, the father of the family is obliged to properly provide for his family. Poverty and the constant lack of money are no less annoying for those who do not yet have offspring. Any normal lady wants to look normal, dress normally, and cook for her husband using good ingredients. In the end, financial trouble forces a woman to turn her gaze towards a rich suitor who will happily provide for the needs of his mistress. Naturally, without sexual intimacy she will not receive it.

Restrictions on actions

Excessive control on the part of the spouse gives the opposite result. Typically, before marriage, couples agree to achieve their dreams and help each other achieve this. If the spouse was able to graduate from university and grow up the career ladder, the wife has the same rights. In reality, things usually happen differently. The husband is ready to present any arguments in favor of the fact that his beloved does not need to continue her studies, get a job, or even force her to quit. The ambitions of the female half, especially modern type, are no different from men's.

Every self-respecting contemporary of ours, who graduated from school with flying colors, after spending years at the institute, wants to continue doing what she loves. At the same time, she is able to give birth and raise children, attracting the attention of grandmothers and nannies. The husband, in turn, tries to underestimate the abilities and capabilities of his wife. But there will be someone on the side who will support her and appreciate her talents, and in return she will give her tenderness and affection. That is, a woman has a friend who has similar interests, and it costs nothing for him to also become a sexual partner.

Making up for the lack of intimacy

Here, no matter what, there are physiological reasons. If a woman was forced to live without sex for a long time for various reasons - her husband’s illness, his low potency, long business trips, etc., then she is looking for intimacy on the side. Moreover, the situation can arise even for the most modest wife. After all, nature demands its own and every lady should receive a portion of not only oral, but also tactile attention.

1. There is another, not entirely proven factor that influences a woman’s infidelity. We are talking about an accumulated sexual need that has been passed down from generation to generation. The woman's ancestors lived in Puritan conditions and did not give free rein to their desires. So, at a certain moment, a “breakdown” occurs in the body of their successor and she cannot quench her thirst by entering into intimacy not only with her husband, but also with other men.
2. Violence. Here we can talk not only about physical, but also psychological violence. In the first case, there are beatings accompanied by scandals. Psychologically, this means insulting, humiliating, constantly making claims and excessive control. Such treatment forces a woman to defend herself, and if she does not have the opportunity to leave the family, then she starts an affair on the side. There she receives warmth, recognition and is not subjected to cruel treatment or psychological aggression.

Wedge with wedge

This is the most common moment. Having learned about their spouse’s affair on the side, the ladies act in several directions.

1. They immediately find out the address of their rival and, armed with anger, set off for a showdown. The result can be a female fight with clumps of hair torn out, the inscription on the car of her husband’s mistress “You are a s...a,” etc. But there are also very extreme moments - up to physical elimination.
2. The second direction is complete despondency and whining into the pillow. Having been subjected to intense stress due to her husband’s adultery, the wife falls into deep depression and continuously cries in secret from everyone. She is silent about her condition and tries not to see her husband with streams of tears. But this behavior is very dangerous. Low self-esteem can lead to suicidal behavior.
3. The third direction is treason. Having learned that, women show an act of disobedience. She can continue to look after the house or completely abandon her obligations and go to the beauty salon. There she makes a complete mess, negotiates with her friends and goes to a great restaurant. There she will find someone with whom she will have a blast, so that her legal spouse cannot crawl through the highest doors because of growths in the form of huge horns.

Husband is a drug addict or alcoholic

Here it is also difficult not to understand a woman, because she is forced to continue dragging out her existence with a man dependent on addictions. Sometimes it is a banal attachment and a sense of responsibility, but more often children and common obligations force them to keep the family together. A relationship with another man can last for years, and more often than not, this is also an unfree person. He is ready to help morally, and if possible, financially.

Important: living together with a drug addict or a cruel despot will not lead to anything good. Moreover, you should not try to save such a marriage for the sake of the children, otherwise the result will be a disturbed psyche of the younger family members and a waste of your life on an unworthy person.

How to keep your loved one from cheating

Is it possible to fight female infidelity? The question is, of course, difficult. After all, you need to take into account that if a lady, whose nature is to protect the home, love her husband and give birth to children, decides to “go on a spree,” things are more than serious. The loving husband had to take care in advance that the family union would not crack. The betrayal of a once-loving wife is the moment when a marriage shatters into pieces. Can anything be done? What actions need to be taken so that the wife does not look around?

1. Before getting married, you need to pay attention to the reputation of your future wife. Of course, it smells of mothballs and mistrust. But we are talking about serious moments when a girl is promiscuous in sexual relations and every now and then changes partners with enviable consistency. We are talking about a completely official disease - nymphomania. This disease is associated with problems in the endocrine, gynecological, nervous and other systems. Most likely, it makes sense to talk with your beloved and seek adequate treatment from a specialist.
2. Make it so that your spouse cannot imagine her life without you. It's not just about physical affection. She should feel your care, love and support at any time and on any issues. But don’t overdo it, remember the point about a man’s weaknesses. Show your participation unobtrusively, protect your loved one in all situations and become imbued with her problems.
3. Don't cheat on your wife. It seems to you that your wife is quiet and modest, will never raise her voice at you and will tolerate all your antics. Have you decided to have an affair on the side, and are you sure that your wife will not find out about it? And if he finds out, will he silently endure and forgive all insults? How naive you are, how misguided you are, it’s just ridiculous. Firstly, you can’t hide a sewing in a bag. She will definitely know about your adventures. Believe me, the world is not without “good” people; many would like to see the destruction of the idyllic picture of your family. These could be friends, girlfriends, an offended admirer or the same lover. As for the silent “neighbor” in the apartment, then wait for an answer. Normal woman I don’t intend to silently swallow the insult, and betrayal is a humiliation of the dignity of my wife. And as we have already indicated, one of the answers to your adultery may be her hobbies on the side.
4. Remove excessive control and allow your spouse to develop. She is the same person as you - with ambitions, dreams, the desire to prove herself in her favorite business, etc. Yes, and for the head of the family, if he normal person The successes and achievements of his beloved should be pleasant. Here you need help, support, and if necessary, then a temporary replacement for your wife in her main place - next to you, among the children. But don’t overdo it, don’t turn into a second mistress. A woman should not completely abandon her family and her direct functions.
5. Communicate as often as possible. Routine, monotony of everyday life, fatigue, everyday life, lack of finances can lead to complete alienation. Don't lose touch under any circumstances. Even if difficulties arise, solve them together or at least discuss a plan of action. Do not forget to talk about romantic, abstract topics in case of any troubles. If you start to remain silent and keep everything to yourself, your wife may immediately have a natural question: why does he not want to communicate with me? Maybe he has someone on his side, or I am unable to listen and give practical advice. And in general, I need to be noticed. So she will go looking for a person on the side who will talk to her enough and receive physical satisfaction in return.
6. Don't lose trust. Be open and honest with your significant other. Don’t be secretive, share your new acquaintances and social circle. Tell us what happened at work and who your colleagues are, especially point out the fairer sex. Never lie, remember the saying - “Big lies begin with small deceptions.” Having smelled something wrong at least once, she will stop believing you, and doubt will push her to cheat.
7. It’s heaven with a sweetheart in a hut, if comfort reigns in it. It is not for nothing that psychologists are very understanding about the easy addition to the old saying. Without financial well-being it is impossible to build cozy home, raise children, buy food, clothes, etc. A man who is constantly searching will quickly lose his beloved. After all, she is not obliged to solve issues for him and drag the family’s problems on her fragile shoulders. Immediately take up any kind of work, the main thing is that there is prosperity in the house. We are not talking about those who are forced to miss earnings due to illness or sudden staff reduction. And the spouse’s appetites should be normal. Demanding a foreign car when your salary does not allow it is, at least, reckless. But there is a risk that in pursuit of wealth, she will find herself a rich gentleman.
8. Be a man and the head of your own family. It is the male representative who must take on serious responsibilities and resolve them. When getting married, your wife dreamed that her chosen one would be a caring breadwinner, a gentle and attentive father and, of course, a responsible and loving husband. If you do not meet these very normal criteria, she will rush to find a lover who can solve any issues.
9. Help your spouse around the house, periodically give her a break from the noise and din of your beloved household members. Unlike men, women's working day does not end with leaving the office. Most of the loads are contained within the walls of your home. Upon arrival, she is forced to cook, wash, clean, iron, take care of the children, bathe, put to bed, read fairy tales, and check homework. The list of jobs can be continued endlessly, while the spouse just needs to come home, take a shower and sit down in front of the TV. Everything else is ready because she took care of everything. Do you think, in this situation, will a woman want to rest her soul and feel attention from the outside? Think for yourself...

We have studied the main points that indicate the reasons for female infidelity and ways to prevent it. And everything described above is not the author’s opinion, but the conclusions of psychologists. But there is one main axiom that no specialist can speak out against. Any troubles, even male and female infidelities, can be survived if true love reigns between the couple. This feeling is not banal passion and sighs on the bench, but a complex that includes mutual understanding, compliance, the ability to listen, hear and support in difficult times. It is these moments that will allow you to glue any family relationships and move on through life hand in hand.

Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.

Female infidelity is a severe blow to pride, lowering a man’s self-esteem and his ability to actively and productively interact with the outside world. Due to the prevailing peculiarities of the organization of internal space and evolutionary attitudes, it is female infidelity that has more destructive consequences for a joint union. Most often, men are not able to forgive not only betrayal, but even a hint of it, therefore, this event is usually followed by the destruction of relationships. For the woman herself, this results in a damaged reputation and the annulment of any obligations and debts of the man to her. Despite modernity and universally declared equality, the attitude towards sexual freedom in our world remains quite archaic, which makes cheating accessible and sometimes commendable for a man, but practically impossible for a woman.

But it is worth remembering that female infidelity in marriage is an extremely rare thing and usually occurs when the relationship has outlived its usefulness. Despite the possibility of internal pain from a woman’s betrayal, it is worth abstracting yourself and even thanking her for it. The first positive thing you can rely on after the stormy stage of the experience is that you can really look at your companion and your life - betrayal is sobering, and then it becomes noticeable that all this time you have been living with a stranger, that the emotional connection has already disappeared or that your life is overgrown with moss, and you are confidently sliding into the abyss, and the woman does not want to perish because of your inactivity. Having freed yourself from an outdated relationship or concentrated on improving and rehabilitating your life, after some time you will be grateful to the woman for such a vile act.

But such philosophical reasoning requires time, endurance and the ability to understand both the reasons that prompted a woman to change and her own role in order to draw conclusions and avoid mistakes in the future. And even if thunder has not yet struck in your family personally, it is worth finding out how a woman’s infidelity to her husband begins and looks like, so as not to be a provocateur of her own misfortune.

Reasons for female infidelity

It is incorrect to consider betrayal exclusively the prerogative of men; female betrayal of her husband has the same right to exist, the only difference being that women are guided by others and actually cheat less often (although this is exactly the case when quality exceeds quantity). Since the emotional side of communication is more important for a woman, it is unlikely that she will cheat with the first person she meets at the call of her body (which is more understandable to men). A woman will go for emotional intimacy, spiritual contact, betrayal will be more reminiscent of a second family than a fleeting affair, and it will be almost impossible to catch her in this, because guided by concern for the peace of mind of all participants in the triangle, she will very carefully cover her tracks.

Neither stress relief nor excess alcohol will push a woman to cheat if she loves her man, but when there are no more feelings, and then she unexpectedly falls in love, this is a good reason for the woman herself to destroy her previous relationship. This is the most common reason and the most terrible from the husband’s point of view, since there is practically nothing he can do here; people’s feelings cannot be forcibly corrected and cannot be brought back.

To prevent female infidelity in marriage from happening because of a new love, you will always have to be proactive and support the feelings and interest of your companion. There is no need to stop courting after you put on the ring and put the stamp, because someone else will continue to compliment your woman and help with heavy bags at the entrance. Because of such everyday trifles and men's self-confident relaxation, women cease to feel needed, and having received a simple look of admiration in another place, they will want to return there.

But some women do not act on such romantic convictions, but prefer to have a lover solely to satisfy their intimate needs. Those. you are completely satisfied with her as a partner in life and communication, but something is not going well in the intimate sphere, and most women know how traumatic it is for a man to hear criticism or dissatisfaction addressed to him on the topic of dissatisfaction in bed, so they choose to protect your peace of mind, satisfying your hunger on the side.

You should not discount the fact that women endure grievances for a long time, and if, in her opinion, you have not apologized or repented enough, then betrayal may well act as a weapon of revenge, most often for your betrayal, so that it is equivalent and you can feel the same pain. There is no need to talk about the continuation of such relations; everything will be more like a cold war, without the possibility of returning trusting interaction.

Among the not so frequent, but still occurring reasons that push to betrayal are boredom, the desire to feel the romance of the initial period of a relationship, an example taken from parental family, the desire to get the desired position or promotion. Frequent or long separations can push you to cheat, but it’s a question of how your communication is organized - some couples, living nose to nose, manage not to give their partner due attention, and some, staying online for months, bring the relationship to a standstill. new level knowledge and depth.

Still, remembering that feelings and intimacy, and even more so relationships, are practically inseparable for a woman, half of the reasons can be prevented if you do not let the interaction take its course and continue to give your woman a feeling of need and love, and by noticing the immediate signs of impending betrayal (in women it rarely happens spontaneously, just like love) turn on quickly. At the initial stage, any husband is able to beat a new admirer, because he is better aware of the weaknesses and tastes of his beloved.

Signs of female infidelity

Doubts about cheating can creep in out of nowhere, driven by a man’s own insecurities, but there are situations when a woman’s behavior changes and makes her think. If the betrayal was a one-time affair under the influence of the moment, then nothing will change in your companion, but if the situation takes on serious turns and a stormy serious romance begins to develop behind your back, then it will have its own peculiar external manifestations.

If previously your lady could absolutely calmly ask to read a message that came to her phone, because her hands were full, she was sitting calmly behind the open chat window when you approached from behind, but now the situation has changed. Passwords appear on communication devices, screens turn off when you are nearby, and when you try to look for yourself, a scandal begins - eloquently indicate the emergence of a secret, and it would be nice if this is a surprise in honor of your anniversary, but it is unlikely.

Changes in appearance for the better are a signal that a woman wants to be liked. The jeans are abandoned, but new stockings have appeared, the makeup is always perfect, and she began to work on her figure for several days in the gym. If there hasn’t been a crisis in her life, even if it’s easy, no one has turned her with a caustic remark towards taking care of herself, and this is done with an alluring sparkle of joy in her eyes, then this is for the sake of someone. Do not rush to draw conclusions from such indirect things; perhaps your wife is trying to return the spark of passion to your relationship, and all ideas of seduction are addressed to you.

The appearance of new friends and companies where she is not going to bring you. But she herself regularly spends time there, especially in the evening, often staying late into the night or even staying the night with girlfriends, justifying it by saying that it was late and drunk to go. If this state of affairs is also supported by cooling in intimacy or even withdrawal from intimacy, then the reason is not at all due to poor health or constant lack of sleep.

This may be followed by a nervous withdrawal of your touches, criticism of actions and statements that previously did not cause negativity. Showing disrespect and lack of treatment as a man, humiliating or diminishing comments indicate an extreme degree of irritation and it would be good for you to get lost in the jungle.

The appearance of excessive busyness, which does not allow her to pick up the phone even on the tenth call, obliges her to return home closer to the night, the frequent mention of one of her colleagues - may be a work emergency, but then she will not be against your help, and will not forbid picking her up late From the job.

Complete indifference to you and the manifestations of your life is a natural sign of the emergence of more significant man. She no longer worries why you are late - this gives more time for romantic communication, she is not affected by your problems - this no longer affects her life, she is indifferent to quarrels and scandals - it does not matter and waste energy on what is no longer relevant in her life she is not going to. Questions disappear from your wife’s speech, and she answers all yours with indifference and indifference, giving you the right to do as you please.

In principle, at first you can even rejoice at such changes - your woman begins to look great, she can’t stand interrogations and requests to show your correspondence, she doesn’t demand anything (neither reports of where she’s been, nor material things), she approves of all your trips and undertakings, she begins to take care of herself. The model of change looks like a list of men's wishes for their companions, but in reality few people like such coldness and detachment, and the induced beauty and attractiveness turns out to be inaccessible. Although such changes can appear without betrayal on the part of the woman, and even if this is so, they signal that the relationship is under great threat.

And among the more direct signs that you can’t hide from, you can list the appearance of expensive jewelry and perfume, new outfits and phones, without an increase in income. This also includes a woman solving her own problems on her own and becoming increasingly immersed in correspondence, while you can watch her face smiling at the screen. She will come home in the same car and smell like someone else's men's perfume. But these are no longer signs, this is direct provocation and mockery.

Psychology of female infidelity

Female infidelity may look the same as male infidelity, the frequency and quantity may be the same, but the psychological and motivational aspects will be different, which is determined by the difference in gender psychology. If we start from the basic physiological level and analysis laid down in the subcortex, then men are driven to adultery by the desire to impregnate the maximum number of women for procreation and consolidation of their gene code in the phenotype of a given area. A woman does not strive for fertilization by many, because... from the point of view of the evolutionary survival of the species, one strong male is enough for her to take care of her and the children. This is where the mechanism comes into play, aimed at attracting the maximum number of men, in order to then choose the strongest of them. Those. The natural behavior of a woman is to interest a large number of men.

Cheating begins when the previously chosen man no longer shows himself to be the strongest and most reliable option. He may stop taking initiative or care less about the woman, because... his goal has already been achieved. Here the female mechanism is triggered, saying, as it were, “before he cared best of all, but now he doesn’t - the threat of hunger and death,” and there are many men around, showing their strongest sides in all their glory. The problem is that initially all men carry out a similar PR campaign for themselves, but few are able to express themselves in this way constantly.

Among the psychological aspects that are not so involved in evolution, it is worth noting that a woman always has a desire to be liked, and in a boring way of life, all reactions become predictable, the need to talk about the feelings and exclusivity of her partner disappears, and the woman plunges into a nasty feeling of being useless and forgotten. In such circumstances, melt from a man who elevates her to a shining Olympus (for a while, we remember) organic and natural behavior. You need attention and confirmation of your desirability, of course, it’s better from your husband, but if he only looks at the carburetor, then it doesn’t matter where he gets his support and mood from.

Cheating is a serious step for a woman and such things don’t happen without affecting her soul, and if it happened once on a train, then she will tell this story to her friends ten years later. Also important for a woman is the opinion of society, which condemns female infidelity much more than male infidelity, and a married lady in some places may even be persecuted. Therefore, when deciding to have an affair on the side, a woman will not take the initiative, but if everything is very bad in the relationship with her husband, she will not resist her seduction, appearing in the eyes of a strict public court as a victim of her husband’s lack of love, who fell into the hands of the seducer (the men are to blame, and she clean).

The very concept of cheating has different meanings, and your wife can cheat on you without ever touching another man. Turning a blind eye to such an emotional connection has become habitual and many do not consider communication with men bad, but when a woman tells all her secrets to another, when she asks him for advice and asks him how his day went - you have lost her, and the question is when will she physically disappear It's a question of time. At the same time, intimacy with a stranger can cause a surge and indignation in a man, but for a woman it will not mean anything.

Female infidelity is detrimental to a man’s self-esteem and to the continuation of a relationship, because... there is no lightness or thoughtlessness in it, it is always a serious event based on strong feelings (love for a new partner or for the old one). This frightening feature, however, gives hope, because the possibility of casual relationships is reduced, and options for prevention at the initial stages or even preventing such a development of events are within the capabilities of the interested spouse. A woman will not look around if her official relationship suits her according to the main points that define her.

Not a bad article.
Unfortunately I went through this.
I just got divorced - my wife has two small children in her arms.
Do you know what I expect? When a woman comes and falls at her feet, because... her pride is hurt and even if something didn’t suit her, then betrayal is not an option. The expectation for treason is that the person will come forward and defend it with his actions.
However, for some reason this almost never happens and the cheating party definitely has a reason for cheating.
For some reason, the cheating party is waiting for you to approach her and pursue her. Where does this nonsense come from in the head of the cheating party? due to the presence of resentment in her for this or that….

My friend, I'm sorry, but your woman is an ordinary whore. Not because I changed, no. But because he continues to sleep with you while in a relationship with another man. You are both cash cows for her and she has no real feelings for either of you. And the fact that this is the norm for her speaks of a complete moral failure. There is nothing worse. Think about whether you need such a woman next to you!? There are a lot of free girls and women around, and sometimes even with a child, who lack a strong shoulder next to them. And who are ready to GIVE you warmth and loyalty and love if you become their beloved and only one. Don’t sully your feelings and don’t let anyone trample on them. Live honestly, in harmony with yourself and with the person who is nearby, only this person should be loved by you and love you. And then the word betrayal or treason will never come between you.

Hello! My name is Andrey, 29 years old. Briefly about myself: a family man, no bad habits, I try to spend all my free time with my wife and daughter. He himself never cheated on his wife and never gave him any reason to do so.
My wife cheated on me, as I found out, it lasted six months. Of course, I noticed the initial stages, but I couldn’t believe it. I naively trusted her. One day I couldn’t resist and went into my wife’s phone (for the record, this is not a characteristic of me). When asked what is this? She began to rely on the fact that these were all jokes, in correspondence, she completely stood her ground. She also yelled at me about what a scoundrel I was and how I was messing with someone else’s phone. A couple of days later I said that I talked to her boyfriend and he said that they had everything (in fact, I didn’t talk to him). Here she has already admitted everything. My state at that moment is difficult to describe in words. But I calmed down, thought it over, and decided to talk to her. We talked almost all night. (She herself is a very uncommunicative and closed person) I learned so much, where I made mistakes, (if I knew all this before), after this conversation I seemed to fall in love with her again. But she clearly doesn’t have mutual feelings for me! I even forgave her, I say, let's start all over again. She says she doesn't want to be with me. And he doesn’t hate me and doesn’t feel love either. I ask her, what do you feel about me? She says indifference, although I understand her actions indicate the opposite. Now she has moved in with her parents, because... the apartment is mine, I didn’t kick her out, it was her decision. She sometimes comes, cooks food for me, helps me with housework, we even have sex. She opens up with me as if she were a friend. In one of the conversations I ask, do you love him? She doesn’t speak openly, but from what she says about him, it’s obvious that she loves him. Although he does not reciprocate her feelings, he is a womanizer by nature, she knows this, but still communicates with him.
p.s. This whole situation has changed me extremely, I have changed for the better. Got busy with my own appearance, began to play sports even more actively. He became better at intimacy, in her words, almost her ideal. But she doesn’t want to return, I don’t insist or ask her to do so. Although here I am tormented by doubts, maybe I should be more active!?
I don’t know what to do with this relationship anymore!? I want to return it, but I don’t know how and whether the game is worth the candle!? Or maybe start building your life anew, with someone else!?
Please help me figure it out!

• Hello Andrei,

  After reading your story, I found many similarities with mine.

  I have been in a civil marriage for eight years now (the last year I have been divorced)
  All these years, only my husband was man number 1, despite the fact that there were no supernatural feelings from the very beginning. He is not an emotional person, but a good family man, father, homely, caring. But he’s not at all sensitive, not affectionate, and in seven years he’s never once uttered the word “I love you” or anything like that.

  Like your wife, I also fell in love with another man, with whom I first communicated for a very long time because of a common hobby.
  When I realized that something was happening to me and that I would soon be unable to resist everything, I tried to reach out to my common-law husband (in the 7th year!)
  No results. The turning point in everything was when, in response to my direct question, “Do you love me?” he replied “I don’t know”...

  Then I no longer resisted temptations and succumbed to feelings. To be honest, I even hoped that everything would pass soon, everything would cool down and maybe everything would work out with my husband after all.

  But unfortunately he was as if under hypnosis. He did not respond to all my “calls”.

  I told him everything myself, because I couldn’t stand this torment. We went for a consultation with a psychologist.
  Somehow, a couple of weeks later, he even blurted out this “I love you” But nothing else happened.

  He then reevaluated everything and decided that although he had made mistakes, I was to blame for the whole situation. What I subjected our entire family to...

  In general, almost 8 months after my confession, he is now moving out of our shared home.
  And during all this time there was not a single attempt to “bring me back” back.
  And I internally wanted this so much! I wanted him to at least fight for me now!
  I felt so unnecessary, so unloved... And I so wanted to hear: “Nasten!!! Let's try everything again! We can do it! I will try!!! I realized everything, forgive me too!!! Let's! I love you very much and I can’t and don’t want to live without you. I do not want to lose you! We will be happy"

  Instead it was: “I’ve already lost you.” You love someone else. Why bother you? I spent everything I had on us, and now I stand with empty pockets. What will I tell my relatives?...”, etc. In general, by, completely by...

  And since he is not an active person, not proactive, he chose not to do anything, so as not to receive a no in response.

  In general, Andrey, fight for your love, if you really love it more than anything else in the world!!! Speak up, show her this! It is very important for women to know and feel loved, desired, in demand, like air.
  If her feelings have not completely cooled down, or maybe have calmed down for a while (from resentment, from disappointment, because of a new person...), you can rekindle the fire.

  At least try! So that you don’t blame yourself and punish yourself later.

  If my husband had immediately taken the bull by the horns, and started to act purposefully and persistently, talk to me about everything, maybe take me to the bottom to spend time with me on an intense level!, then probably everything would not have gone as far as it has now .
  Because at first I also thought that it was mine new chosen one, well, not a womanizer, but he is not deprived of female attention. But he also fell in love with me like a boy. Now I and he don’t want to cause any harm or pain. Everything is going exactly the way I always wanted. On an emotional level. Time will tell how everything will turn out in everyday life.

  But (so far) nothing else connects me with him except feelings. No children, no housing, no collaboration or business We have only one wonderful hobby together - and this is not unimportant for the relationship.

  And that is why there is a game going on - who is “stronger”!

  I wish you good luck!!! Happiness and patience! All this is rewarded!!!

  Hello. I don’t know whether my comment will be relevant after a long time, but I want to speak out. I'm very lonely and very stuck on a similar problem. Name is Alexey. About myself: family man, breadwinner, with higher education, no bad habits. In my entire relationship with my wife, I have NEVER cheated or given a reason. I want children, madly... And so in 2008 I met my wife. In 2010, I caught my first betrayal. She was dating my classmate. I accidentally saw the correspondence. They were planning a S..s. in a couple of days. A scandal ensued. She tried to open the veins. I have forgiven. The next attempt at treason was in 2011. The applicant is her sister's friend. I think I made it too. And s..s, it probably didn’t take place. The next attempt crushed me to smithereens. I literally felt the blows of the knives on me. 2015 Cheating with my friend. Lasted for several months. I don’t know whether it was s..s or. We fought a lot at that time. She constantly latched onto the little things. She was very cold. And having another fight, I left home. The next day, I think I’ll sit near her entrance and watch. 40 minutes later I saw my friend Eduard there with flowers. He saw me and ran like a coward. You can't tell me what was going on inside me. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I lived separately for a couple of weeks. Scandals, reproaches against me, and complete humiliation of me as a man followed. My friends, a group of about 8 people, turn their backs to me. In this same company, one of the friends was especially important. His name was Slava. I did a lot for him and loved him like a brother. Honestly, as I write, I’m 32 years old... and there are tears in my eyes. I would give a lot for it, just like that. And this Slavik knew about my wife’s betrayal and remained silent. He drank, ate at my house, took my cars, borrowed money, called me BROTHER. - AND WAS SILENT. In this company there was a friend with whom we were not best friends, but he is the only one who supported me. It was he who prevented me from committing terrible acts that crossed my mind. At that time my wife became simply insane. I need to tell you a little about me in this group of friends. Basically, I'm a leader. I always organized everything. I collected everyone. And he helped everyone. In addition to my work, I played around a lot and achieved a lot. My friend Eduard (32 years old) is the complete opposite of me. I am athletic, blond. He is a pear-shaped, balding Jew. He himself is a lack of initiative, lazy person who lives with his mother. What can we say about him... if he had a loan of 500 BUCKS for 2 years at that time. He, the bastard, is secretly messing with my wife. And he asks me for money to cover the penalty. That's how it is. WHAT AM I? I forgave her once again. Why? Because I love. You know? I was involved in a lot of different businesses, and everyone says that if you are a successful businessman, then you are not a decent person. Maybe this is about me. But in relation to family and friends, I am SINCERE and HONEST. I have never abandoned anyone in difficult times, and I have never refused help.... At the end of 2015, after 7 civil marriage, I proposed to my wife. We got married in 2016. Now we live together. I love her too, but there is no trust. Now everything seems to be fine... but! Intimacy is tense. She does it like a robot, but doesn’t bother too much. No children. It's not working yet. But she doesn't work on this. Now, lately, it has become difficult to communicate again. Misunderstandings, confrontations and clashes. Constantly “bites” me. And the same thing, “I’m bored,” she says. You're not a romantic. Yes. I must admit, I am not a romantic. For me, it is much more important to feed her, clothe her, and monitor her health. Go on vacation with her, furnish her apartment, buy her a car. To which she recently said. “You bought me a car so I could earn more...”

Hello! I am 32 years old. Several years ago I met with married man(he was divorced, but lived with his wife). We separated several times. After each breakup, time passed, he appeared again in my life. He said that he loved me, I left everything and everyone, and met him again. But as soon as I plunged headlong into him again, he said that he could not promise me anything at the moment. I kept hoping for something, waiting. This was repeated three times and lasted for several years. My psyche couldn't stand it. The last breakup was even harder. There was absolute apathy towards everything. I lost faith in men in general. A year after breaking up with him, I met a guy who, it seemed to me, fell in love. We understood each other from half a word to half a glance. I start a sentence, he continues. In general, everything is great. And then the ex appears. He says he left his wife and wants to be with me. I say that I am in a relationship, and I don’t believe him anymore, although somewhere in the subconscious I was expecting actions from him that would get me. No action. I’m getting married and giving birth to a baby (he’s six months old now). It starts with my husband constant quarrels because of everything. Not only do we not read each other’s thoughts, but even if we explain it in words, we don’t understand it. We fight constantly. I stopped feeling like a woman with him. We began to communicate less, intimacy is rare, courtship and compliments are zero. I developed an inferiority complex. I decided to go with my child to my parents in another city for a week, and I meet my ex there. Word by word, everything flares up again. A couple of days ago, I slept with him. It turns out that he returned to his wife again, allegedly because of his daughter, and he doesn’t know what we should do now. He says we need to think everything over before taking the decisive step, but for now he suggests just dating. But I catch myself thinking that he deceived me again. Since the moment we met, I have been tormented by the feeling of guilt that I am cheating and betraying my husband (even before sex occurred). The feeling of guilt intensifies, I can’t get it out of my head that I betrayed him. I no longer know which of them I love or whether I love them at all. I would like to continue to stay with the baby with my parents, but I understand that this cannot go on forever and I need to somehow decide what to do next. I have a cry for help!
Please help me find the right solution and understand myself. I feel helpless and confused. Sorry if I presented it too chaotically.

• • Good afternoon Thanks for the answer and interesting articles! You write, do not support quarrels. But I no longer know how to communicate with my husband. When I try to tell him something, that I don’t have enough of his attention, I need help, I want communication, etc., he doesn’t take hints. I repeat again after a while, again no results. As a result, I break down and start telling him off, and he tells me that you can’t say it normally, you’re just nagging me. When I propose to discuss the problem and find a solution together, he again perceives all my statements as accusations and reproaches. Therefore, I no longer know how to discuss something painful with him, because in any case I will remain guilty. How to communicate so as not to hear that I’m a chainsaw, but also to solve the problem? I am with my child all day and I want to communicate with him. We used to be able to chat until the middle of the night, but now he comes and clicks the TV remote and says he's tired. But he doesn’t see that I’m tired. I tried to praise him, show how important it is that he is with me, how good I feel with him, but all this is unilateral. He himself will never praise me, he won’t notice that I’m tired. It scares me that our communication is coming to naught. I start digging into myself, what’s wrong with me? How to find a compromise with your husband?

    • Vika, do you want to improve your relationship with your husband? Start “feeding” him emotionally - adding positive emotional strokes, without demanding anything for yourself in return. Start giving compliments yourself, giving smiles, helping, praising, saying words that emphasize the importance of this person. This is the only way you will achieve your goal of being desired. Breaking down and expressing painful things is a losing tactic.
      “I’m with my child all day and I want to communicate with him. We used to talk until the middle of the night." – Men are designed in such a way that their talkativeness manifests itself during the period of courtship or when a woman is interesting to him. Expand your social circle, don’t focus only on your spouse.

Modern trends in the equalization of men and women, bright flashes of feminism, have borne fruit. If ancient customs and religious traditions made it possible to stone an unfaithful spouse to death, now female infidelities go on par with male ones, and have long ceased to be a reason for surprise. Why do women cheat on men? What are the causes of female infidelity?

Before moving on to the individual reasons for the emergence of desire in a woman, you need to pay attention to the social reason. Modern society has long lost certain human values: the value of family, loyalty, mutual understanding and respect. Therefore, now betrayal is not a reason for censure or feelings of guilt. On the other hand, each specific female infidelity occurs in conjunction with individual reasons and life circumstances. Finding out the reasons why a woman cheats on a man is only possible by studying a specific situation. However, we should not forget that there are still patterns - the reasons that underlie female infidelity.

The main reasons for female infidelity

The expression “endure, fall in love” does not always have its implementation in life. without much desire, without love, or just because “it’s high time” can play a cruel joke. It is difficult to live with a person who was initially not interesting, not loved, and most importantly, not desired. The woman naturally begins to cheat. At the same time, betrayal can be regular, and even become a reason for. It’s a completely different matter if, under all circumstances, a woman is dependent on her husband, these are common children, financial dependence. In this case, the woman tries to encrypt herself, but the frequency of cheating does not change. With this development of events, a woman prefers to communicate with a permanent lover who will meet all her requirements that were not fulfilled in marriage.

At its core, nymphomania is an uncontrollable constant sexual desire that occurs in a woman. are distinguished by hypersexuality and constant physiological dissatisfaction. And yes, such women also manage to get married. However, physiological and psychological characteristics Nymphomaniacs don’t go away even after marriage. In this case, betrayal is inevitable. A nymphomaniac cannot be satisfied by one man; she is constantly looking for new sensations on the side. In this case, our answer to the question lies on the surface.

The nymphomaniac is in constant search. Such a woman can develop sexual attraction at any time, even to an unfamiliar man. Cheating is common, partners are always different. At the same time, a woman is absolutely not interested in a person’s inner world, eye color, or having a higher education. The only goal is sexual satisfaction. In this case, the man is absolutely not to blame and is not the cause of the woman. However, he is unlikely to be able to help his wife on his own. A nymphomaniac needs outside help from a specialist psychologist and sex therapist.

Incorrect

A husband who cheats on his wife sooner or later also risks ending up in her place. For a long time, a woman may not suspect that her husband is cheating, then she begins to notice changes in his behavior, and, in the end, they find out about her mistress. At the same time, one type of woman begins to suffer, others go on a diet and begin to actively take care of themselves, and the third begins to cheat. Under these circumstances, the reason that a woman cheats on a man can be either banal revenge or real sexual dissatisfaction and psychological exhaustion.
Revenge will be expressed in connection with a more successful, handsome and worthy man. That's what revenge is for. A woman asserts herself and proves to herself that she is no worse than her rival and can attract the attention of a more worthy man. Under such circumstances, betrayal is one-time in nature and is needed only for show.

On the other hand, a woman can begin to cheat when there is a real need. The husband is infatuated with his mistress, does not spend the night at home, does not take care of his wife, sex happens once a month. Of course, in this case the woman has a direct need for sex and male attention. A woman begins to systematically cheat, her husband ceases to interest her, and attraction to another man can easily develop into strong feelings. Eventually the marriage will fall apart.

The beginning of a relationship and family life is always filled with romance, constant gifts and shared recreation. But after many years life together all feelings become dull, passion disappears, sexual attraction to a partner practically disappears. My husband stops surprising me. He stays late at work, prefers to relax without his wife in the company of his friends. Any attempts by the spouse to make a pleasant surprise or surprise your husband undergo a fiasco. Complete mental exhaustion pushes a woman to cheat on a man. At the same time, even a work colleague who has long made small signs of attention can become her lover. The woman begins to accept them willingly, light flirting develops into romance and sexual intercourse.

The husband is a loser

Love-match, family life has developed, but the constant routine and material needs become an unbearable burden. The main income of the family is the woman. She may even be torn between two jobs, and her husband only talks about his failures and does not want to make any efforts to change the situation. His constant complaints and tears become simply unbearable for a woman. She ceases to feel like a feminine and defenseless lady and becomes the breadwinner and the only support of the family.

Here a wealthy and attractive man appears on the horizon, trying to attract attention. Such an object may well be the reason that a woman begins to cheat on her husband. With him, she felt like a woman for a long time. Expensive gifts, flowers and signs of attention will begin to bribe, and the woman will commit treason. Female infidelity is always conditioned by something, in contrast to periodic fleeting male affairs.

No matter how painful the topic of betrayal is, unfortunately, the topic of betrayal has been and remains relevant at all times. Many men, having learned about their wives' infidelity, wonder why she did it? That is why in this article we will talk about such an important topic as wife’s betrayal.

Let's consider this question in detail to understand the main reasons that push a woman to cheat.

The main question or essence of female infidelity

As one famous author said: “a man’s betrayal is a matter of momentary weakness (in most cases), but a wife’s betrayal is a whole story.” And this is so, in fact, betrayal among representatives of the two sexes is very different and, first of all, differences in the very motive for betrayal.

Each female betrayal is individual and has its own reasons. Let's look at the more common reasons individually to get to the point.

1. If a woman cheats on a man, then in 95% of cases the reason is that her own man does not satisfy her. And this area includes all relationships: physical, financial and psychological. And this is precisely where the essence of the complexity of understanding the reasons for female infidelity lies. That is, if a man does not work, then this can push a woman to cheat, if he works a lot and does not provide psychological intimacy, attention, does not satisfy the woman’s need for communication, then this too can push a woman to find all this from another. Therefore, they say that in happy relationship There is no room for betrayal. Why? Because when people are happy, it means that they are satisfied in all areas.
2. A bad attitude on the part of a man is also common cause for change And it all starts with minor misunderstandings. If a man constantly underestimates his woman, if he is rude to her, then such a relationship leads straight to his wife’s betrayal. After all, a woman can easily find a guy who will look after her and show attention to her. In other words, he will give her what she doesn’t get at home and what she desperately needs.
3. No matter how strange it may sound, a wife’s betrayal can be a simple cry, indicating that she needs her husband’s attention and wants him to hear her. After all, in a sense, it is the man who pushes his woman to cheat: with his indifference. It is vital for women to feel wanted and loved. And when she doesn’t feel this in a man, she looks for where she can “realize” herself.
4. A woman needs a man's shoulder and man's strength. And when her own husband is not a support for a woman, if a woman cannot rely on him, then this leads her to disappointment and betrayal.

If you look closely at these reasons, it becomes clear that your wife’s infidelity can be easily prevented. After all, it’s enough to change your attitude towards her and she won’t even have the thought of cheating.

How to recognize female infidelity

Regardless of gender, it is unpleasant for every person to be deceived and find out that they have been cheated on. Any betrayal affects a person, changing his entire life, regardless of gender. But there are differences in how the different genders will react.

Women, having learned about their husband’s infidelity, begin to actively discuss it with their friends, even with neighbors, go into details and the like. While men, having accused their wives of infidelity, do everything to hide this fact.

However, it often happens that men have doubts. And in this case, he can easily recognize his wife’s infidelity, since there are certain signs that indicate infidelity. Below are the most common signs that a woman is cheating.

To find out whether your wife is cheating on you, then you should first observe her behavior. Of course, the best conversation is when the wife herself admits this to her husband. Since there is no room for guesswork and imagination. But, unfortunately, if you look closely at the statistics, only two percent of women admit to cheating. Therefore, you need to learn to recognize the signs of cheating. Naive men mistakenly believe that the first sign of betrayal is sudden changes woman's mood. And when your wife’s mood begins to change sharply during the day and if your wife becomes either joyful or sad, then men begin to have doubts. But in fact, this in itself is not a sign of betrayal, since women’s mood can change for any reason. So, let's look at these signs that notify you that your family happiness is under threat.

1. The woman changes, a dreamy expression appears in her gaze, and she herself becomes distant, mysterious and mysterious. When a woman cheats, then in the first place she already has another man and thoughts about him cannot help but change her behavior, words and even her smile.
2. A change in image can also be a sign, especially for those women who previously did not particularly take care of themselves. When does a woman appear in a woman's life? new man, then she begins to take care of herself and this cannot go unnoticed by her husband. If your wife suddenly starts going to the gym, fitness and is changing right before your eyes, then it’s time to think about who she is trying so hard for? After she loses weight and becomes fit, naturally she “will have” to update her wardrobe. A new hairstyle, manicure will definitely indicate that she desperately wants to impress her lover.
   
3. A woman’s irritation - when a woman gets tired of the routine of family affairs, she begins to look for adventures outside the home and when she finds it, being distracted from a new relationship in order to do household chores with her husband and children already becomes torture for her. This is where her irritation and reluctance to do her usual things come from. A woman begins to spend more time in solitude with her laptop or mobile phone. But there are also cases when a woman behaves the opposite: understanding and feeling her guilt, she tries in every possible way to please the family, turning into a caring and friendly mother and wife. This confuses many men. They begin to think that everything is fine with them. But in reality, these are just attempts to hide their betrayal.
4. The next alarm bell is the wife’s phone, which is always with her, and social networks and messages are always hidden, supposedly by accident. She changes passwords like on social media. networks, and on the phone, and will always try to hide the phone.
   
5. Another sign that your wife is cheating on you is her frequent problems best friend, to which she must always run. Here the reservations can be very different, whether you need to sit with your friend’s children, help her with housework, and so on. And every day you hear about this friend, although in reality she may not even communicate with your wife. She simply became an excuse to meet her lover. That’s why, if you hear once again that she needs to help out her friend again, you can simply visit this same friend to dot the i’s.
6. The wife has more and more “things” to do at work, which force her to stay there longer than usual. Or at work she begins to have frequent corporate events, business trips, etc. In these cases, the following pattern occurs: a woman comes home in a good mood, but her mood at home quickly deteriorates due to trifles. This point also includes all kinds of courses and trainings that she should attend.
7. When a woman begins to criticize you and compare you with others, it is naturally not in favor of her husband. And the very attitude towards you has changed dramatically, she no longer wants to spend time with you together as before. He is not interested in you, your work and does not talk about his affairs or work. Such detachment is a clear sign that there is another man in your wife’s life with whom she shares everything. This can also include the fact that the woman does not want to go somewhere with you: both to relatives and friends. And even if her husband wants to meet her after work, she can find thousands of reasons not to allow him to do this.
8. When your wife, unexpectedly, no longer argues or asks for the door or faucet to be repaired. Believe me, this is not a reason for joy, because if she is no longer irritated by such little things as things scattered around the apartment, an unrepaired faucet or handle, then she is already indifferent to you. Unfortunately, most men do not understand this and do not perceive this sign as alarming.
9. Unanswered calls, and there are a lot of excuses here. And of course these are just excuses.
10. The woman cannot stand your gaze. Having met her husband's gaze, she hurries to avoid it and gets angry.
11. One of the most obvious signs is refusal and irritation from any bodily contact. Hugs, kisses or sex are all in the past. And when the husband begins to show his indignation, then he simply suggests that he take a mistress. And sex itself (when it happens) is very different. A woman’s behavior may vary greatly; she may suggest using sexual toys, different roles, etc.
12. When a woman is not afraid of losing her husband, family, she does not strive to make compromises, then she needs to think about what’s going on.

These are the main symptoms by which you can easily recognize betrayal. And, as anyone can see, cheating changes relationships. And not one woman can hide her behavior, no matter how hard she tries.

Thinking out loud

Cheating is a phenomenon that changes a person’s life. It affects all areas of his life, destroys his family, undermines trust and leaves a mark for the rest of his life. After all, it is very difficult to trust people after you have been betrayed.

However, as we have already found out, you can find out about betrayal by special signs. The main thing is to remember that you will need patience so as not to prematurely blame your wife and start sorting things out with her.

Often, changes in a wife's behavior are a signal that she is bored and wants something new. If you value a relationship with a woman, having seen these signs in her behavior, you need to change the nature of the relationship, bring something new and bright into it.

Don’t forget, a woman needs constant attention from a man, otherwise she will look for it elsewhere. And believe me, she will be able to find it if she wants.